For most of us here.  The eligibility phases out completely for single people at an AGI of $99,000, and married folks at $150,000.  Too bad, I was going to get at least three sessions outside my normal budget for that extra $1200.  Those between $75,000 and $99,000, get a check but the amount is reduced $5 for each $100 over the $75,000.  I doubt there are many mongers here below that $75,000 who are going to get the full amount.   I could be wrong, if we count fake mongers.  Lol

I did some research on this and sex workers are eligible as long as they filed a tax return in 2018 and showed an income below what is posted by the OP.

If anyone knows how to get a gummint check around here, we all know who that would be. lol

How is 1200 dollars going to help the working class? Unemployment benefits will only be augmented for four months.

in the form of payment or whatever.  
People complain they are not getting it or what they are getting. People complain that not all are getting it or when they are getting it.

That combined with the Federally augmented unemployment will get a lot of people through this crisis until it hopefully passes in a few weeks/months.  

that I just now learned I don't qualify.  I was going to blow it on blow-jobs and pussy, anyway, so I probably don't deserve it anyway.  Lol       Hey, that's a pretty good slogan . . . . . . "Blow it on blow-jobs!"

I meant that as a positive. It should go (loans) to businesses who provide the jobs. There will always be guys like me who shorted the market and are looking for cheap money out of the stimulus plan.

the one provider i spoke to about this said she reported and is not eligible for any stimulus... she reported too much. she's not seeing anyone right now... at least that's what she's telling me... (maybe it's a good excuse to drop me from the lineup... lol) but i still made a donation to help her out.

Hear, Hear! from a small business owner.

are not eligible for ANY stimulus.   You just have to know how to approach them.  However, they probably won't get government checks.  

While I agree that many of us will not receive the stimulus check, we will be able to do more than our part to pay it back when taxes need to be raised. This money isn’t coming out of some trillion dollar grainy day account.

Are much better with this plan, Being able to keep employees on payroll instead of laying them off. It costs so much to train and find good employees, they will be money ahead getting the forgivable loans.  

the loan completely forgiven?

It is easy.

I'm going to look into this.  Might work for me, since I have less than 100 employees.

Every small business is able to get a loan/grant for 2 months of payroll. It's called a loan, but it turns into a grant as long as you don't lay off your employees. IOW if you have a hundred employees at an average pay of lets say a grand a week, you can get $800,000 to make payroll for the next two months and all you have to do is show your payroll records and the loan becomes a grant.

For her to be ineligible for the $1,200 she must have reported over $100,000, undoubtedly she reported it as either an independent contractor, or as a "small business" maybe a consultant or entertainment company, the type of business doesn't matter, but as such she should be eligible for a $10,000 low interest, government guaranteed loan with repayment terms somewhere around $40 month.

Spot on.  

THANKS!!!!

You can also file for the disaster loan mentioned in the above url April 10th. The first 10 grand is a grant that does not have to be paid back.

$1200

Also for Wu.

The Mayor of Los Angeles is thinking about shutting off water and power for small business who have NOT closed and are not deemed "essential businesses".  
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But a counterpoint to your mismanagement comment: I don't know very many small businesses that can go 90-120 days without revenue and still survive. Even the big guys (airlines and other T&E concerns) are crying about losses. I'll call bullshit on those guys, though. If your market cap is in the billions, you have cash or almost-free cash loans available.  This is where we see if all those corporate mission statements are really true, or if all they really care about is shareholder earnings.  Hint: Too many companies think altruism doesn't pay. They are wrong.  
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Life is good.
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The Cat

It's not altruism, it's pragmatism. Can you imagine the cost of rehiring a fleet of pilots, mechanics, flight attendants et al? It's MUCH cheaper to keep them on the payroll doing nothing for a few months than it would to have to try to re-staff an entire airline.

https://www.sba.gov/document/sba-form--paycheck-protection-program-borrower-application-form

I made an appointment with a banker to apply on Monday.  Will get my payroll records together this weekend.  This looks pretty easy.  

for this coming Wednesday.  I should have read the fine print.  When I booked March 1st, they said on their website that there would be no penalty or cancellation fees if you cancel because of coronavirus.  So I cancelled today, and they would not give me a refund back on my credit card. I don't know about you all, but I consider them keeping my money a penalty.  They are only giving a "credit."  Credits can only be used if the company is still in business when I go to rebook, so I may yet get screwed out of the money.  BTW . . . . its American Airlines (I never liked them in the first place, but its the only American carrier that will give me both money-spent points and flying-distance points on my BA membership.).  

when there is no board piñata?  Dodo is gone, so we start taking shots at each other.  Lol

Thus proving only that if someone throws up a big softball I will smack it.
BTW, I do not mean to imply you are a fruit.

It would take a LOT more than $1,200 to turn me into a Socialist.  Maybe if I were like Crazy Commie Bernie and I was able to syphon off well over $10,000,000.00 from my own campaign  while "preaching" Socialism, I could be persuaded to at least pretend to support socialism.

This arguably comes under the "takings clause" of the US Constitution.  The government prohibits normal employment, which is a "taking."  Under the takings clause, the government has to reimburse.

Why explain which part of democratic socialism don't you like.Police dept, fire dept,highway maintenance dept, social security, met service, public schools,public hospital, veterans benefits,  ro!d's and bridges, unemployment benefits, drinking water, military, national parks,,food and drug safety,sewers, bank dept ins.Pick some you want to do without.Lets face you don't even have a clue what socialism is even though everyday you enjoy its benefits.You somehow confuse it with communism, muck like our president does. You need to educate yourself before you confirm your lack of education. Personally I love our government and America and I gave 4 years of my life in the Marine corps defending it.Our problem now is the incompetent leadership at the top.

Socialism = the means of production is owned by the state.
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If that's your definition of socialism and NO European nations actually OWN the means of production, why do you and most Neanderthals say said countries are socialist?
We're waiting...

Downloaded the 880 pages, have read through half of it so far. Pretty much what you are pointing out,
at the end of the day, those who can get loans and already have money will do just fine (as long as  
COVID-19 doesn't kill em) However, people who have been living paycheck to paycheck and don't
have family with funds to help are in for one hell of a struggle. Being in the Mtg. Industry for almost
2 decades, I think we are going to see a lot of foreclosures a year from now if the VIRUS isn't under
control in the next 60-90 days. As usual, BIG BIZ is going to benefit the most from the Loans.

Actually I make less than the deal but make more than I spend. Just today went to a laundromat to do a load cuz my dryer took a shit on me last week.  

Most of wealth is in IRA and am not taking withdrawals yet despite being retired so taxable income is low.  No mortgage or rent helps.  Thank you all for $1,200 I really don't need.

You are correct. Most here are way over max for a check.
I would love it if my SB hot one, but she hasn't had any reportable income since I came into her World.. about 4 years...  
I think if she does a short return.. she could get on the list, but I know she will resist that idea.

They are all getting $1,200 checks too. lol

The government announced today that Immigrants WITHOUT social security numbers are NOT getting stimulus checks.   Its about time we put limits on freeloaders who don't contribute to the tax base.  

Ooops..... had K-Y on my hands when answering previously (see below). The Corona has me staying at home, alone. Thank God for Pornhub!

Where do you apply for this? Can independent contractors file?

Homey don't play that way.   Lol