I wasn't looking for a "right or wrong" answer though...
I was just looking for some general feedback, about the needs, wants and values of the sexy women of today's generation.
In older days, women valued men more for being providers............
I think it's safe to say, that has changed somewhat, as some women have chosen (or felt pressured into) to strive to be more independent.
I think it's also safe to say, that independence for a woman, is more valued, or should I say less scrutinized, then it was just 10 or 20 years ago.
It USED to be that having a successful relationship and family, was the number ONE thing in a woman's life.
Nowadays, it seems like things have degraded (IMHO), to whereas women are competing for attention, in a pointless pursuit.
-- Modified on 10/21/2007 12:40:00 PM
Out of curiosity ladies, tell me what the average female in her early twenties wants... I'd also like to know about the girls in their late twenties, and thirties as well.
MOSTLY, I want to know about the sexy civilian women out there....
WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY WANT?
Do THEY even know??
All the time we see it - the woman who has put a certain amount of time into making herself look physically attractive.
Many of these women, seem to try hard to ignore everybody, especially the fellas... it seems like the only time their attention is gotten, is when some dude is really agressive and obnoxious.
Hey I think some women actually like guys that are agressive and obnoxious (but what the hell do I know?!!), but I'm sure that there are many whom don't.
Anyways ladies, I'm sure you can clue us in....
These days, seem particularly Twilight Zone-ish to me....
I see more and more women spending time on their appearance, yet more and more women not seeming to be interacting with guys in public.
I'd love to get your IN-DEPTH feedback on what you think about this, or at the very least, for you to tell me what is going on in the minds of most of the sexy civilian women out there?
thanks
PS If you care, I wouldn't mind creating a thread, and telling you what is on the mind of many of the fellas.... it MAY not be exactly what you think.
mostly full of shit if you have to know, whether she's working on her appearance or drop dead gorgeous. Those with careers and something on their shoulders are looking to move up and are not sleeping around to do it. The majority though are looking to get lucky and make the catch of their lifetime. You should wait until she gets the BS out of her game and then hope she's not too burned out in her plumbing and psyche.
-- Modified on 10/21/2007 9:12:19 AM
Some study lots as they go to school.
fun to fuck when we're horny.
Say, can we fuck you gals? The chorus we mean?
I'm in school. I'm also in my 20's.
Most of my friends are in school in an advanced degree program (Masters/ Phd candidates) or already working in the "Real World." (I hate that fucking phrase now because some old chick in class keeps trying to use it against the 20 something crowd as if none of us has had a real job in our lives... *rolling eyes*)
Listen, if you knew anything substantial about civilian women, you wouldn't be lurking on a P4P board. But I'm open-minded and I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, so why don't you enlighten us. What do women want?
Well, seeing that you asked so bluntly. They want dipsticks like you to stay clueless!! It's a great way for them to increase their trinket coleections!!!
I guess the best way to respond is with a hearty "FUCK YOU, asshole!" I mean, this was coming from a guy who racked up 25 reviews in the space of ONE YEAR! Yeah, I guess you took home the award for "Most In Touch With What Women Want." Good job. And since I only seldom engage in this hobby, whereas you pay for pussy AT LEAST every other week, according to your reviews (of course, it may be much more often, but we'll never know), it sounds like you're the one funding their "trinket collections"... and their rent... and their satellite TV bill... and their most recent abortion (hopefully yours)... and probably their therapy bills, after having to put up with your slobbery midget-dicked sex (to paraphrase our ranting friend from Denver).
-- Modified on 10/20/2007 7:56:27 PM
I guess you told ME !!! Boy, do I feel foolish. What an awe inspiring man you are. Articulate, glib, urbane. Especially the, and I quote, "FUCK YOU, asshole!". How long does it take someone of your vast mental capacity to come up with such witty retorts?
I guess it took me about as long to come up with that as it took you to come up with, and I'm quoting now too, "Dipsticks," followed by the amusingly misspelled "coleections." Truly a mind for our time. Cretins who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones... especially since you pay to get laid far more often than I do, you loser.
-- Modified on 10/20/2007 8:09:08 PM
hehehehehe,,,Let me give you a health tip.I think you should stay inside anytime the sun is out. Your skin is WAY too thin !!!!
Amazing how no WOMEN have answered your original question!! So, looks as if MrSelfDestruct and mysekf just may have had a point afterall!!!
Ah well
Why answer the question when the guys are arguing amongst themselves?
If none of you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all.
And the original question wasn't mine, it was Nitescape's. I was just hoping that at least one woman would provide some insights about what she looks for when she dates personally (rather than professionally). But all the responses would be skewed, anyway. These women take their clothes off for MONEY! They're probably attracted to rich guys.
What do all women in their early 20's, late 20's and 30's want??
It's an impossible question to answer because 1. WOMEN are individuals and 2. since we are "p4p" we are not qualified anyhow to answer
I would take a wild guess AUG. 5 is a pretty good example of what is not real desirable
Hello kettle, it's pot....You're black, too
-- Modified on 10/24/2007 3:58:59 AM
But you have to admit, it WAS a funny one-liner !!!!
Well...this is a guess, but I do not think you will get a lot of replies because your question is not as black and white as you are painting it.
Women are as different as day and night, we are not clones, nor robots, we all want different things because we are all different people.
It would be like me asking you this....I see more and more men asking a woman to marry them, and then down the road getting bored, and cheating. Why is this? What makes men tick? What do men want?
See my point? You can only answer for yourself, because there will be many answers, because men are different too.
http://fastseduction.com
What it comes down to is Psychology.
The hottest women have the biggest chips on their shoulders, so the best thing to do is to get into their social space by talking jovially with someone in their crowd as if you own the place, and paying ABSOLUTELY no attention to them. It's called a 'NEG'. The idea is to get them interested in you, and then to acknowledge their effort with an expression of interest.
I've played this game before and it works very well. There is a heck of a lot more to it, so reference the above website. Thing is, I just got tired of the amount of time and effort it took to sarge hotties, and the inevitable backlash when they realize that you just want to be a friend, and not a serious lover. FWB seems to have to be something that THEY choose. *sigh* After more than one incident like "What do you mean, you love your wife? What did last night mean to you??" I decided to leave it alone.
So, I turn to the professionals. Simple. Neat. Easy. No baggage. And with pros, if you are actually a nice guy to them and treat them like ladies, they appreciate it a lot and you both have a much better time.
I forget what that show was called... the pimpmaster or pickup artist or something. Either way, I found his theories and ideas to be ludicrous.
If someone used a "neg" on me I'd be offended. Case in point: the show where Cosmo was throwing them at that cute little latin girl... I'd have rolled my eyes n kept going because although he was trying to be playful about it, anyone could tell from across the room he was trying to throw game.
What should be understood is that these "negs" and games generally work best on people who are insecure, who don't recognize the games n bullshit behind it. Before you all flame me, what I mean is that no matter what a girl looks like (she could be hot as hell or ugly) if you're devaluing her to her face, a confident woman won't stick around.
Just my .02
Katie
While I agree with your observation I think many men are just as bad by only going for women with big breasts.
Women go for bad boys when they are young and men go for big breasts at all ages. It is what it is I guess.
that not one single lady has ventured an answer to the original question. I just read through this thread. I could not help but notice that within less than an hour - the tone and intellectual level of conversation was reduced to Name calling and the use of words such as fuck, asshole and Midget dicked... .man that would make me wanna post like crazy (somewhere else!!!).
Perhaps had there been a sock in someones' hands, ladies would have had the chance to address the questions and provide an answer. Hopefully. For one, I would like to hear what ladies (civie and escort) would have to say... to address this question.
Perhaps that is what I got though..... opinions from men, whom are really more like women.
No, for real, I already get what that's about -
IGNORANCE.
Some dudes, are immersed in their own issues, and are in such a pathetic state, that they cannot even GLANCE outside to deal with any external realities......
they are too consumed trying to run away from their own internal demons, and filled with hate and ignorance.
Aug, you hit it on the nail, and it's not your fault.
Proverbs 29:9
"When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, the foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no peace."
Anyways, maybe I'll wait a day or two, and try asking this question again...
quiet and peaceful Sunday amongst friends.... good work guys.. now lets settle down for some football shall we ???
and that's rude. If you don't appreciate the question, then don't answer it. This happens over and over. As for you, LA, you always make it known who you dislike, don't you?
I don't even read his posts !!!
This thread was doomed from the start.
Here's how it translates:
I'm a poor lonely dude who has no clue about women. I want to be a player. I've been watching TV shows like "The Pick-Up Artist" and feel as though it's my time to shine. But alas, I can't get anywhere. I'm tired of paying girls to fuck me. Why can't I get some for free? Please help.
Yeah, the professionals are gonna jump right in on this one. Dude, nothing USED to piss me off more than a question clearly directed at the ladies getting replied to by the guys. But in your case it was either "highjack or ignore". But don't feel badly; had it been totally ignored, you'd still be back at square one. Hopefully, now you have a clue.
I saw your comment that started the whole thing between you and Aug5.
If you take so much pleasure in making fun of others then you are truly a sad individual.
Lean from people like zinaval who are now trying to be peace makers.
I am not saying we are not allowed to joke or make fun sometimes. I make a lot of jokes myself.
But to do it 24/7 degenerates from a lot of the threads.
Maybe sattv4u2 can even take some of his jokes to the politics and religion board.
Theres a chance BizzaroSuperdude and maybe even jack0116533 will welcome him with open arms.
I have more fun than a human should be allowed to have. Many of my posts are self-depricating humor. But for those that are pointed at others, perhaps they should have learned that childhood leeson of "sticks and stones,,,,,,, " We really have become a wussified group, the American male!! So sad !!
Myself and others probably overeacted to your post.
You bring a lot of humor to the Ter national board.
"trinket collections" that was a good one.
Ummmm I'm just wondering how are we to get any 20 something civvie woman to reply to your most profound question if this board is dominated by mostly hobbyists and providers alike, after all this is a board about "The Hobby".....It would be kinda funny if all of sudden the female civvy population started chiming in here...hubbys and BFs will start running for the hills....I for one would LOVE to hear from 20 something Gen Y girls out there.....but I'm afraid you're barking up the wrong tree...IMHO.
I thought for sure we were still gen X. Damnit. 
lol.
I think the definitions of civvie women aren't strict. Not all of us provide all the time (I'm on a break for a semester or longer if I get that internship I'm after) and to be truthful, we all interact in the civvie world in various ways.
Personally, while at times I provided (when tuition is due) I still never made this into a career, so I always considered myself both a civvie woman and part time provider.
Katie
it is just not really an answerable question, all sarcasm aside
You are asking us what women in a 20 yr age range, from all different cultures and backgrounds and experiences want....That is like me asking what men between 20-40 want for dinner tonight
Me personally, I do not agree with the post about wanting dominant, bullying men or about looks being unimportant.
Just my own view, I would look for a man who I found reasonably attractive, meaning for me good teeth, good hygeine, decent condition, doesnt have to be an athlete, a chubby tummy can be sweet too
Race, age (within reason) and things like height, hair loss, etc arent really big factors to me
Then finding someone who fit my pretty relaxed criteria, the MOST important thing is a mental connection, chemistry, a fast thinker, someone who gets me and my sense of humor...that is definitely much sexier than a perfect specimen who stares vacantly at me
In terms of a LTR/Marriage (doubt i am going there again!)......all of the above plus someone who is financially secure, stable, not still tied up in issues with his ex, his mom, his high school best friend, etc
Someone sexually very experimental and open minded, and who is fairly independent, not clingy, trusts me and is able to spend time apart without a lot of guilt issues or fights.....and no, in a serious LTR or marriage I would not continue this line of work
-- Modified on 10/24/2007 1:22:26 PM
and this morning when I was reading through the thread I was disappointed to see the direction it took. I imagine that may be why no women answered. I think that one thing women like about men would be their capacity to have a discussion without it deteriorating into profanity and name-calling.
runningman
-- Modified on 10/21/2007 7:38:09 AM
You're right, it's an interesting question, but note these two lines:
"WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY WANT?
Do THEY even know??"
He "yells" at them and then implies that they can't answer to his satisfaction anyway. That's the conversation-ender right there.
Perhaps some time you and him may agree on a topic and that would be great.
Do you really want your relationship with him to degenerate to how jack0116533 and BizzaroSuperdude's relationship is on Ter?
My point wasn't personal. I was dealing with what he said, not what kind of person I think he is.
That being said, do you think my interpretation of the statements is wrong?
Are people getting too sensitive to overanazlyze the tone of ones question.
The man asked a question, people could have answered, not answered, or stayed on the sidelines.
If he can't bring up this question on a discussion board then where?
This is a discusion board people should be allowed to discuss.
-- Modified on 10/21/2007 5:48:27 PM
Uh, how do you know my mentality/attitude towards women, and why in the world would you waste your time and energy trying to figure it out over an anonymous internet message board?
Save it though bro, this is a rhetorical...
You joined in the flaming, and added your negative characterization, or a mere question.
You took it upon YOURSELF to speak for all the ladies here, and get offended for them, by a mere question......
To me your motives seem quite obvious, but either way, if you are that anally tight that you insert yourself into a question posed to LADIES, and over-analyze and try to attach a negative, well.............................
Anyone who has spent more than 5 minutes on the internet knows that WHEN YOU WRITE IN ALL CAPS, it's considered "yelling." You might not have meant to do that, but that's how it gets interpreted. Don't believe me? Write an e-mail to someone in all caps and see what they say.
I didn't know "real men" like you were so sensitive. Add your typical ignorance to that and we have a winning combo.
BTW, you're right - figuring out your mentality is a waste of time and energy. That's 5 seconds I'll never get back.
Sweety, unbunch your pokedot panties and take off your knee high socks for a minute....
It's not about me being sensitive -
IT IS ABOUT YOU/OTHERS NOT FLAMING OR HIJACKING A THREAD, WHILE TRYING TO PREACH IN THE PROCESS.
And I always considered capital letters to be placing emphasis on a certain word, but not yelling in the sense of angry jumping up and down....
Then again, I don't live my life according to a handbook entitled "PC101", so that's probably where we are crossing our signals.
At ANY rate, glad to see that you are constantly thinking of me, and cannot get me off your little mind....
it's always nice to know that what I said hit home, and that you remembered it...
it's unfortunate that you handle your bitterness like a child, but that's on you and not me.
Have a wonderful evening.
I totally disagree.
A man DOES worry about what he is.
If you're not worried about what you are, then what are you?
YOU don't even know.
Intellectual elitists, often have trouble finding the humility to look in the mirror, and deal with their own issues.
We ALL have them, but some cannot see their own.
"Not being worried about your issues", doesn't make them disappear....
It just makes you self deluded and ignorant.
As always, you are your own best example.
I'll BUY it myself! lol
You just keep KILLING yourself to point the finger at someone else.....
yet for you to just deal with YOU, is like trying to get a cat to get in a tub of water.
It's actually pretty amusing in a way.
I stayed the hell out of this thread as I was curious to see what the ladies would say. Not because I don't know the answers but because I wanted to see how they would react to the question as posed by the persona that NS has created here on the boards. I'm sorry your thread got hijacked NS...who do you like in game seven tonight?
I'm checking that out.
Of course I am not "clueless" by any stretch, but as a person grows in maturity and experience, your perspective changes, and sometimes you want to visit and analyze certain subjects.
Personally, after ending a long term relationship, and the 2 years following, I haven't been focusing on the opposite sex in a long long time....
Not only that, but this generation, is obviously going to be different, than the one I was dealing with, say 5 or 10 years ago.
So anyways thanks for your input, especially amongst all of the trash.
It's a good step towards bringing this forum out of the gutter.
your question was impossible to answer, and that's why you got mocked.
You should have known it.
Of course there are patterns, but equating a generation of women is chasing your tail, and PROBABLY A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY.
Young people are full of hormones, which is a blessing and a curse, and they don't have the experience to handle it. That's both YOU and THEM.
So focus on your common sense. Look at the facts of a SPECIFIC SITUATION, and DEAL WITH IT.
Yes, women often do the head trip thing, but they usually don't realize it, so head-tripping back doesn't work.
Deal with the particular woman who is your target du jour, and don't worry if you find out she ain't all that she seemed to be. YOU are the only person whose behavior you can control, and YOU are the person most interested in your own welfare.
Now, looking back a half-century, I'll tell you what I think works best. DON'T act like a fucking puppy. DO try to understand where she's coming from - she has monthly issues that you don't, and lots of issues derive from that set of facts. Just relax and treat her like a human. Most of them have issues about their looks, and if you can find a way to kid her in a reassuring way about that, chances are good you're in her pants.
But getting in her pants is just the start. One of her issues is security - social and economic - because remember, she's the baby factory. Yes, lots of them resent that, but they still carry the issues. It's fine - both of you are probably going to wish you aren't alone in your social security years, and she's the one who has to think hardest about this.
EVERY TIME YOU STICK YOUR DICK IN A WOMAN, SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH THE BABY ISSUE.
So it's not much wonder that the thought of you running off might make her crazy, so she goes crazy, and then if you have a lick of sense, you will in fact split.
DON'T STAY AROUND CRAZY WOMEN. Life is too short for that. If she goes nuts, you ask her ONCE, "what do you mean?" and if she stays nuts, you hit the pavement.
MOD 1: Women tend to like men who can make things happen. So do other men, for that matter, but your relationship to them is different. Some woman are more or less mature about it, but that's where the money thing comes from, basically.
So it may not be a bad strategy in your 20s at all to focus on your career, and rely on your hand for a sex life more than any woman. You have to be disciplined, ie stay as far away from people you don't want as friends, as you can.
Try this: you take a woman camping, and see how she looks and how mature she is when she has to deal with Mother Nature. If she can clean up after herself without whining & crying, and laugh without her makeup, you may have a keeper.
-- Modified on 10/21/2007 11:41:33 AM
It wasn't an impossible question to answer.....
It was just a topic to give feedback.
There is no right or wrong answer, just feedback from personal experience.
I most certainly can speak on many men of today, versus men of ten years ago.
Is it a generalization? Yeah, but so what.
A generalization is not the boogie man.
You seemed to have proven YOURSELF wrong, by how much feedback you gave, in response to my OP.
By the way, you have some very good insights.
EDIT - By the way, whatever your opinion, it's not excuse for mocking/flaming a thread. That is foolishness - period.
-- Modified on 10/21/2007 12:38:42 PM
IMHO, most of the time the attraction starts in the subconscious. This will depend on a lot of factors: how high her sex drive is, what time of month it is, how much in control she feels. I've heard or read women saying that, unlike men, they don't like to feel sexually excited if there's no follow up with intercourse; also, if a guy hits on them and it's unwelcomed, the feeling they get is more like nausea.
Women usually aren't so visually turned on, you know? Looks don't matter that much. What turns them on is guys who are dominant of other men. That could be either dominant immediately (as in being a total asshole who intimidates other guys) or dominant through wealth and power. Wealth also gives her resources, that this is a very important to females of many species. "Asshole dominance" is sometimes misjudged (unconsciously), and so she suffers from abusive relationships. If she's ovulating, though, she's probably going to be turned on more by assholes, because the dominance is more readily apparent.
I'll repeat that most all of this takes place out of her consciousness, so it most often won't be discussed in these terms.
I'll also reiterate that this is all IMHO, and can't describe all women.
Through all the trash, I'm actually learning some things, and getting some good feedback, however sparse it is.
You placed some good insights here.
I'm seeing what you're saying, though I'm not sure about the looks anymore...
I mean, it used to seem that looks weren't important to women, but from my personal observations in this current generation, it seems that looks have jumped almost to the top of the list.
A few months ago, I was trying a dating line, where you start by talking over the phone, and amongst a few women whom seemed in LOVE with my personality, they were still VERY interested in seeing what I looked like...
I didn't have any good photos available, and they were extremely persistent about seeing photos.
When I used a similar dating service in years past, I NEVER had this kind of response.
From those who flame and hijack.....
you try to justify yourselves and your actions, with one means or another, yet how is it that you attempt to point your finger at something, to validate YOU hijacking a thread and/or flaming it?
If you were so much better, as your elitist (falsely elitist, I might add) attitude expresses itself to be, then you wouldn't resort to flaming, hijacking, OR joining in.
Now I don't wish to get sucked into contending with fools, but if anyone cares to know, I have no hostility towards women in general, nor my fellow man in general.
I simply wanted to hear the female perspective, from the professional women on here.
I don't remember calling referring to any woman as a "bitch", nor did I intend to refer to women in a hostile way.
When I say "do THEY even know what they want", it's simply stating a question....
Sometimes, people don't really know what they want, and henceforth, I asked the opinion from the ladies here.
Now if you are some loser who got their feelings hurt by trying to start something personal with me in the past, it pretty much speaks for itself that you would come to this thread, with foolish nonsense.
To spell it out, what it says, is that you -
a) obviously got your feelings hurt over someone else's opinion.
b) you handle getting your feelings hurt by acting immaturely and lashing out like a child.
I'm not going to apologize if you got your feelings hurt,
#1 because responding in the manner you have isn't the action of any sane and constructive person, so there is no making peace with you one way or the other.
#2 because I don't normally address anyone personally negatively, unless they attempt to do so to me first, so all your beef adds up to, is somebody who attempted to start some mess with me, and got their feelings hurt so badly, that they're still holding onto it.
Obviously what I said must have had some merit, otherwise an anonymous response over an internet message board, wouldn't have been able to personally hurt your feelings.
In other words, what I said wouldn't have had any power, if there weren't any truth in it.
So the bottom line, is that you've let me know that what I said hurt you, and that it must have been on the mark.........
and you also let me see your true colors, because if you are on this thread adding to some immature and negative foolishness, then THAT is the type of person you really are.
I have no problem with someone whom doesn't agree with my opinion on something...
I DO have a problem with elitist assholes, who troll internet message boards, and flame posts when someone doesn't agree with THEM.
THE SOLUTION TO ALL OF THIS IS FOLK STICKING TO THE ACTUAL TOPICS.
Sometimes good threads get hijacked and sometimes bad ones get saved by an irrelevant comment or two...
In any event it's pretty much the way posting on a chat board works not just here on TER but everywhere. You are of course free to try and change that NS but you don't seem to be making much headway...
I think Dice-K will get knocked out of the game early but the Sox will rally to victory..
-- Modified on 10/21/2007 12:08:01 PM
...because it implies that women are more alike than they are different, that the majority of women in a particular age group desire the same things in life or in a mate, etc. and this is simply not the case. some women value higher education and establishing themselves in a career above all else....some want nothing more dearly than children....some want a mate more than life itself...there is no typical or average here.
I wasn't looking for a "right or wrong" answer though...
I was just looking for some general feedback, about the needs, wants and values of the sexy women of today's generation.
In older days, women valued men more for being providers............
I think it's safe to say, that has changed somewhat, as some women have chosen (or felt pressured into) to strive to be more independent.
I think it's also safe to say, that independence for a woman, is more valued, or should I say less scrutinized, then it was just 10 or 20 years ago.
It USED to be that having a successful relationship and family, was the number ONE thing in a woman's life.
Nowadays, it seems like things have degraded (IMHO), to whereas women are competing for attention, in a pointless pursuit.
-- Modified on 10/21/2007 12:40:00 PM
We're kinda busy right now. I would suggest you walk away from your keyboard, there's a whole world out there. TER a fantasy board. Seems to me that your taking this way too serious.
Good luck!
ps: we can't type on our backs because no one's invented that yet. You should go and invent that. You would be a rich man.
I now feel like whatever I say would make me feel intimidated, self concious, and a plain fool to respond.
Perhaps another time when some of you guys can act like GENTLEMEN and stop banging your chests and stop hollering and making fun of each other.
(I feel like im watching a Gorilla exhibit at feeding time)
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
talking about NYC and stay away from bad vibes that can't help the biz; or (2) get yourself an outrageous handle and say what's on your mind, remembering that this is the internet, where even sticks & stones can't break your bones.
OR (3) you could go to YouTube and catch up on all the great concerts back from when the music was really good.
Fucking amazing, isn't he?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7tocJEHWXA&mode=related&search=
compare to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsFKbKk22SU&mode=related&search=
-- Modified on 10/21/2007 4:58:14 PM
I'm 25. My friends range from 22 to 29 mostly.
YES, we spend forever making ourselves look hot. Then we go out to some bar/ club/ beach/ wherever and there happens to be a lot of guys present. We typically ignore the majority of them, but those that grab our attention certainly aren't obnoxious or aggressive. In fact, I'd probably spit in a guy's face if he got aggressive with me at a bar.
The guys that get our attention vary, but typically he's someone who is CONFIDENT (cuz confidence is SEXY,) he's someone who is HOT, has a sense of humor, is at least mildly intelligent, etc...
Case in point: the last time I went out with the girls, we had a couple of cocktails, kept to ourselves, danced, hung out on the smoking patio and scoped out the scene, etc... While we were sitting down, a really cute guy sat at the table across from ours and waved hi. He came over and introduced himself. He was welcome attention. The trolls near the door who kept trying to fuck with girls' outfits were not.
Get it?
question - do you and your friends find a lot of guys that meet your criteria and expectations?
or do you find guys like what you want, hard to find?
I think that many guys who might have the qualities you want and more, are often "stuck in the mud with their wheels spinning", because it is so tough to be a guy these days, and deal with all of the various reactions and attitudes we get.
For example -
You and your friends, seem like a generally good group of women... maybe a little cocky (not sure), but at least straight-forward, and not manipulative and abusive.
To a man that doesn't know any of you though, it can be VERY tough to tell, if you are just some honest sexy ladies, or if you are some really selfish, scandalous, narcissistic psycho-bitches, who will fuck with a guy's head, and try to embarrass him in public.
See these days, it's really easy to insult and mock men, and we basically have ZERO recourse in most public settings.
Everyone wants men to take the blame and responsibility for everything, and let women have a free pass.
So the guys whom are trying to be real men, are killing theirselves trying to live up to this (and many get frustrated to the point of extreme), while the other snake-like little weasel guys, try to play the game and be slick, and pile on.
Most women, whether scandalous or not, are only thinking about how great things are for women, and aren't even taking any time to consider how difficult things are currently for men.
What I find striking about the women, is how many of them are complaining, and unhappy/unfulfilled, yet whenever you try to have a discussion with them about how bad things are for men these days, they aren't too interested in helping.... at least it SEEMS that way.
I'd like to hear more women, supporting and loving towards MEN, the same way that they are for women.
I'd like to hear them counseling each other, instead of just letting their friends act like scandalous bitches at times, and then going along with it.
Well I don't mean for this to be a rant, just my feedback/inquiring thoughts.
thanks
Let me try to address all your issues.
1. My friends are an awesome group of girls (and guys). AT times, sure cockiness comes out... especially on the internet late at night. I don't mean any harm by it, but hell, I think I have a voice n something to say, so if you appreciate my views, great. If not, fine. No prob.
2. Other than this one psycho bitch I know, no one I typically associate with is into using guys or fucking with their heads. That's just not my style and it's not my friends' style. Why would I consciously and purposely embarrass someone in public? If I reject you when you come ask me to dance at a club, it's not like I'm yelling it out to embarrass you or wandering around the club pointing you out. It's a quick no thank you and I turn back to my friends to continue the conversation.
3. My reality is as a woman. While I feel for the plight of men in trying to find a date/ lover/ spouse, this is the same reality for women. While I appreciate some guys have a harder time meeting women due to factors such as opportunity, confidence, etc... things are tough for BOTH sexes.
4. I'm not sure what women you hang out with, but at least with my friends (of which we have guy friends as well) there's lots of support. I'm not about to walk up to a complete stranger and "counsel" him, but if you were a male in my group of friends, you'd be a- set up with nice girls, b- dragged out to have fun with the girls, c- given advice when needed and d- act as a sounding board to all of our insecurities with dating as well. (The last one comes in real handy when you're trying to analyze what a message he left really means or something...)
It seems that you're seriously disappointed with the dating scene. It's vicious at times. It sucks, but this is common knowledge. It also seems you have a lot of preconceived notions about the intentions that women have. Really, there's nothing sinister going on... it's life.
Katie
I got something out of it.
I hate to seem so cynical, but I guess we are all just speaking from our own personal experiences...
by the way, how do I apply to be a friend in your group?!?!?! lol
That sounds like it'd be a really good thing.
I only WISH I had a group of friends, both girls and guys, that could hangout together and support each other.
The friends I used to hang with were good in some ways, but at some point I just felt like they cared more about being cool and getting over, then they did about being good friends to each other, and it really made me sick, and at some point I just said "fuck off" to all of them and left.
Some of them I was friends with for 10 years....
I just got tired of all the "players", and wanted to find the "real peeps".
I have found a FEW real peeps here and there, but not like I thought I would..
I have found God instead though, and so I guess I can't complain..
scratch that, of COURSE I can complain!!!!!
it's what I do best! hehe
Since you and Katie BOTH appear to be based in L.A., why not contact her and schedule a session with her? You could just talk, if that's all you wanted.
DILF-
I'm not currently providing... I'm in school. However, I do like to check out the boards still because it's a good way to kill boredom.
Katie