I saw a particular provider for the first time today. A visiting (well reviewed) indy girl who frequents Miami regularly. I was screened way in advance. The appointment went well, what I would rate a 9/9 although she requested that I not review her. As the appointment was winding down, I started to get dressed. Whenever I have a good session I usually tip the girl. Usually 10% of the hour fee. In this case it was $40.

When you tried to tip by handing the tip directly to her?

If what you said the how it went down, personally I would have made light of it, said thanks and nicely asked you to just put it on the nightstand and then given you a kiss and hug.

You thought you were doing a nice thing and it's obvious she made you feel like you did something bad.

Not everyone handles something that makes them uncomfortable  well.

Don't lost any sleep over it!



Steph

if I were the lady. I would have handled it similarly to Steph- I would have said how sweet you were to be so thoughtful, then I would have jumped up to give you a hug and made sure my hands were on your body somewhere so that you'd have no choice but to throw it on the bed or the nightstand and reciprocate my affections. I would then have changed the subject immediately to something else.  

Do you always hand the tip to your waiter directly? I don't think so. You leave it at the table and leave. It seems to me you wanted to hear her show her gratitude to make you feel good. But it's the other way around; we tip people to make them feel good about their great service. Also, by handing the tip to her directly, you reminded her again she was selling her body for $. I remember someone once posted that she needs to find dignity anywhere she can in the business, and this certainly didn't help.

and it is part of the reason why I decided not to regularly leave cash tips, something about it just seems a bit crass (IMO anyway).

Zese hoes tell you "I don't vant a review". Vell, is it up to zem to decide who vee schould review or not?  
I don't sink so. Zey do zis to avoid less zan 10 reviews. Zey are tryink to be smart and avoid any chance ov gettink a lez zan perfect review. Zis is a vorm ov review manipulazion but I digress.  

You should have left the tip on the nightstand as she requested. Bad move to put the tip back in your Wallet. Being with 150 Providers seems a bit far fetched.

Solicitation, after the fact?

First, she already made me feel good. Very good might I ad, to the point that I don't think she could have done or said anything that was going to make me feel better. Secondly, servers dont receive cash tips, at least from me anymore. It is a add and sign transaction. I can't remember the last time I paid a dining tab in cash.  

I regretted not tipping her later in the day. It was not that she said to put it on the NS but her tone and the way she said it.

if zee hoe has existing TER pkrofile, zen zee fact ov zee matta iz zat vether vee choosen to veview a hoe or not is not zee hoe's privilege. vee kan veview zee hoe if vee damn vell choosen to das vite a veview

I respect a person who sticks to their principle.

You're an idiot. You simply wanted a big fat thank you for the tip. Proper etiquette is to lay it on the dresser or counter and get a thank you text or email later. Get over yourself!

Are you a New England gangsta, or did you just get off the boat from Germany?

I would have left the tip on the nightstand.  But otherwise you're on firm ground:  

I was slipping into my robe to walk my client to the door, when the gentleman discreetly pressed a folded bill into my palm as he was hugging me goodbye, and said, "Thank you again for a wonderful time."  

Thanks for continuing to find new ways to fracture our language

If, in fact, she was concerned about LE then she was more than a bit late.  Let's hope, for her sake, she's not that dumb and just didn't like the GFE mood being broken.

As one poster suggested, she (the poster) thinks it would be solicitation.   It would not be because nothing is being solicited, but people are told little bits of the legal process and, right or wrong, they fill in the blanks as they see fit.  Not their fault.  We do that I am sure with medical issues and others.  But if that is the case, this is not time for Law 101, her perception would be the only reality that mattered.

Speaking for myself, I find it easier to read your drivel when it's in faux ghetto-speak.  But your faux Euro drivel made it impossible to read to the end of your last two posts.
It's funny and all, but............
Wait! Now I get it! You're Dutch!  I bet your real handle is TERAdmin!

don't tip at all.  I see women who charge from $300 to $600/hr and I don't tip.  First of all, it's not a comfortable thing to do and can seem to cheapen the occasion.  Also, if I like someone the best thing I can offer is to see her again.  And again.
There are other ways to be generous.  For example, if I book her through P411 I never take the discount. Also, I've evolved into not accepting grandfathering and choose to pay her current rate.

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 10:01:48 AM

one last time to the bathroom and leave the tip in there with a little happy face post-it note on top so that she'll at least know that it is a tip and wasn't left accidentally there. Works well for incalls, which are the only ones that I prefer to do.

How in the heck does a tip "cheapen the occasion"?    

Shiften sie das shape. Vy not,  eh?

excuse myself to the bathroom. Then, just as she reaches for it I pull it away with the fish line I've attached to it! Sometimes they catch on right away and sometimes it takes a few tugs.

Look at it this way.  You have just shared some of the most intimate moments with someone who had tried her best to make it seem like she cares and is actually aroused by you.  If she's good at it, she's pretty convincing.  And even though most of us know it's an act, we're trying to suspend our disbelief while we're with her.  To then reach for your wallet absolutely seems to cheapen things.
As someone said earlier in the thread, if you plan on leaving a tip, leave it in the envelope at the beginning.
Or what lopaw said below.  Look, we're talking about something where there's just no absolute right and wrong.

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 11:05:49 AM

Do you get off on those save a sad puppy SPCA ads?

(not kidding) that was dumb (eom)

Of course there is no right and wrong!  But please don't think that the envelope on the dresser (or the tip afterwards) somehow precludes her caring or being aroused.  For me, it is quite the opposite!  The envelope elegantly defines the boundaries of our relationship - a safety which ALLOWS me to relax my defenses and be caring and open.  Hope that makes sense!

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 11:45:10 AM

I've never had a provider turn down a tip, and I always hand it to her. And, they always say 'thank you'. Maybe she should be working as a waitress so you can leave it on the table. She was playing a game.

I know you find facts to be dumb...  

I think her reaction is understandable.  It is inappropriate to tip my barber or massage therapist directly.  All transactions are done at the salon front-desk or massage center reception, including tipping.

What's offensive about leaving it on the dresser? Have some class, man!

I don’t like the idea of tipping.  As you suggest, the best way to show appreciation is a return visit. A cash tip becomes a de facto price increase because you will likely feel obligated to tip on a return visit as well. This can be a disincentive to repeat.

...I would not hand a cash tip to my attorney, CPA, or other skilled professional after a one hour meeting.  I believe that handing $40 to a professional would be perceived as insulting.  Your lady seems from your description to be a properly compensated highly skilled professional.  I looked at your reviews and see that you are seeing a "very high caliber of providers".

I don't think it was feeling of degradation as much as it was the feeling of a possible set up.

I know you were trying to show appreciation and were left with a not so good feeling. As I said above she could have handle it differently/better.

I'm guessing you wanted some feedback so maybe some of the ladies here have provided you with some food for thought....and not at Golden Corral.



Steph

In desparate need of a personality.

Nicky like to forget it's a service and live in that moment probably on the drive home and for the next couple of days.

I ain't gonna lie tips make me do the happy dance, cause I ain't expecting it. But here's the thing, it's Nick's shindig and that's how he rolls.

IMO he's not talking about tipping afterwards cheapening it for the lady. He's talking about HIM.

Now whether you think it's a crock or not is up to you. I take it with a grain of salt but again it's his shindig and I'm betting my of the ladies he's spent time with  like him-a lot.

Just my 2cents, 10cents would cheapen my reply, LOL!



Steph

99 out of 100 times I get a sincere Thank You followed by a quick kiss and I am out the door.  Ending an already good appointment on a high is the intention.

and have said as much twice, no let's make it 3 times now.

And you shouldn't have been made to feel badly or left with no after glow because she refused it. She shouldn't have handled it the way she did based on what you've said.

You brought this here and some ladies here have provided some pretty good insight. If you want to dismiss it after coming here, I won't even ask the why of wanting to hear from anyone other than those that agree 100% with you and not give any other perspective.

You did nothing bad and shouldn't have been made to feel like you did at the end of an otherwise great time Your high/aka afterglow got water tossed on it. Are you hearing me???

I really hope you'll just move on and have only great times with hot as hell ladies that leave you with the afterglow you deserve.

I'll do ya even one better whoever made the analogy of you don't walk up to a waiter and hand them the tip...I highly doubt the waiter would have refused it. If it bugged him/her, he would have still said thanks and you would have never known.

Now that's a wrap for me!

Steph

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 12:43:23 PM

The words 'unreasonable warnings' and what people are taught.

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 4:32:58 PM

But I must correct you on another point.  I never "live in that moment on the drive back home" and certainly not "for the next couple of days." Pretty much the illusion is gone once I close the door to her room.  But that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about how hot it was for some time afterwards.  I'm just not laboring under any illusions.

EOM is meant to be used at the end of the subject line if there's no content to the message, so no one wastes his or her time clicking to it.  Putting EOM in a message is a stupid time-waster.  But then again, reading anything you write falls into that category and all of your posts have no content even when there are actual words there.

Long term, repeats are what it's really all about.

Of course there are "those guys" that post here that they don't repeat or seldom repeat.

hmm... but I'm betting they seldom tip either. I really do the happy dance with a lil extra, but someone I know will see me again...yeh I'll take that above all else.

Steph xoxo.

Off topic, I saw your pic on the photo board today and passed out. Your butt is PERFECT-OMG!!!

About a situation that was barely explained.

She's offended.

The guy should just take a leaf out of your "how to treat a hooker 101" book and slap her and then pull her hair  and then because you paid, do whatever it is you feel like doing, you know it's your session.  

Be civil, treat a hooker like a human being, and she will treat you the same way, find a hooker that is copacetic with your fucking style and have some fun.

Are they officially dead, now?   On the dresser my man, to the side of the door.

the girl too.  She apparently acted a little snippy, and after a great session, when you are on cloud 9, that can come across as a slap in the face.  Did he react the best way?  Probably not.  But his reaction can also serve as a lesson to the lady, that words and tone do matter.  We are all human.  But the great thing about this hobby is that these 2 have absolutely no commitment to each other - nothing to discuss, nothing to work through.  Isn't that beautiful!! He can just move on to others, and she will have lots of other customers too.  Hopefully they will both reflect a bit and think what could have been said or done perhaps a bit better.  That's how we all learn, isn't it?

No but the one where Joe Cocker's You Are So Beautiful would bring the most hardened USArmy killing machine to tears.

I feel this way.

ou're like a one woman Greek chorus, yeah?    

That would be you and not necessarily the OP.

You seem like one who likes to find fault in any female who says what they feel/think about a situation, then drive them to further explain, until you upset them enough to get a little more straight forward in their talking. Proven in above thread. Here's an analogy to what you just did

The tiff I am getting into is with the people who take this girl as a primary example and cheer "fight for your rights!" And label her as a snob, bitch, etc. When she's human too.

I appreciate your input.  You and Nicky share a viewpoint that is apparently common - but still feels foreign to me.  I see someone for PT every once in a while who does an amazing job - always attentive, remembers the issues of the last session, clearly invested in a positive outcome - and in no way do I equate my envelope with a lack of caring or sincerity on his part.  If he gives me extra time or switches his schedule around to accommodate me, I add a tip to the envelope before I leave.  

who know why she acted the way she did.
Many possibilities.
Fear and lack of trust?
Slave to personal protocol?
Felt insulted?
Or perhaps something else?

I've had to gently direct ladies efforts when the've gotten too rough with the poor guy!
But yeah, we are all wired differently, and think of these things differently - certainly each lady I've met is very unique (though this can't be appreciated as much with the few more robotic ladies I've met).  People just interest me in general, so the more "real" the lady is with me, the more I tend to enjoy my dates overall.

First, I can afford it.
Second, I do it because the girl did go above and beyond.
Third, I do that for everybody who gives me a service waiers, bartenders, cheuffers, bellhop, concierge.  
Fourth, I actually feel good when I do. I dont have a wife or kids so its a small price to pay to make myself feel good.

Let's imagine the following scenario:  a provider is going to have a session with one of her favorite clients.  She buys him a gift earlier that day--she spends $40 on her favorite mens' cologne.  

the rest is just hypothesizing as to WHY she acted that way.
Something to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon when bored!

It's very hard to learn to mesh with every one in every way, but - plenty of fish in the sea they say!

You lack self esteem. In that case, keep giving extra. The girl doesn't need it but apparently you do.

Thanks for clearing that up. I wasn't sure if I was confused or I just didn't give a f#@%.

...and your dad or grandpa opens his wallet at eye level and gives you a couple of bucks sorta like saying "here's a couple of bucks little kid go buy yourself some cotton candy".

I walked away from the incall appt and got into my car to go to the bank and I see my client chasing after my car to hand me some twenties all the while a cop car was pulling up as I was at an intersection.  I took the money but told him later that it was an uncomfortable situation for me.