I get many emails or PM’s from people sharing their problems, and while I am both flattered to be asked my advice, and happy to offer whatever help I can, I am not a counselor nor therapist, and always advise that they plan to seek counsel. I feel it’s just a responsible thing to say, as well as I believe we could all benefit from counsel.
I think TER, in its own special way, IS a sort of therapy, as we open up the communication and bare ourselves (pun intended) in discussion.
But, what of professional help? I don’t want to just throw out some catch-all phrase ‘Seek professional help” – that flies off in the wind, light, and soon gone.
If a Provider or a Patron felt that they needed counsel in the area of this Game, this level of relating, where would they go? A Sex Therapist? Would that be the best advice, the right direction? Who would understand what it means to be a Provider, or to be a Patron, and also understands the industry?
Assuming that someone is looking for a traditional counselor or therapist, there are many sex-positive counselors out there who specialize in being non-judgemental, and work with people in ALL occupations. Many good links can be found at on-line with a simple search.
This attached link is useful for those looking for more information on sex therapists and counselors: www.sexuality.org, or look for AASECT, SSSS... or any of the other professional associations that are out there.
If someone is seeking a more alternative practitioner that embrasses sexuality, and wishes to explore their connection and relationship with the healing powers of their sexual being... they should visit a Sacred Intimate, Sexologist, Sexual Surrogate, or other professional.
I ALWAYS try to keep referrals on hand for those who would benefit.
Please feel free to e-mail me for more information.
when we state that one needs professional help, I guess this would be a psychiatrist, psycologist, even priest or rabbi. But in all honesty, having tried a few of the above, I find the best help comes from simply seeking other people's opinions, advice, sympathy. You are no more or less qualified than Abigail van Buren (Dear Abby) for general advice and certainly MORE qualified to give advice on issues that might be more particular to those of us here at TER. I would think that any patron and/or client that has been in the 'Industry' for more than 5 years or so would have something important to add. Good advice comes from experience and not from formal education (which helps but alone will not suffice). My 2 cents.
You should know that even if you don't have any professional training you still provide words of wisdom which for a lot of people including myself have their own special value.
So do recommend therapy wherever you feel appropriate but don't discount your own wisdom.
Sex therapists typically treat problems related to sexual dysfunction in either individuals or couples. I dated one for about 6 years and learned that the problems treated can cover a very broad range. But I don't think they are the solution for what you might be talking about.
If you're talking about the wear and tear on your psyche from this line of work- feelings of isolation, or difficulty having regular relationships or intimacy, for example, then a regular psychologist would probably be the way to go. You might not have as much trouble as you think finding one that is totally sympathetic to your issues.
Client issues relating to the hobby could fall in either category depending on the problem. If they have issues relating to women, for example, that's a general psycholgist. If they have sexual dysfunction that is psychological, rather than symptomatic of a physical or medical problem, then that would be handled by a sex therapist.
Now, I should add, a lot of sex therapists work in conjunction with regular psychologists, or also have a general degree in psychology, so that could still be a place to start your search depending on your objectives. Without more info, I'm just guessing as to the issuess you or others you know may want to work on.
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