My situation didn't happen, but came very close.  I stopped myself within a split second, to avoid making a major faux pas.

After the main act, me and the provider were cuddling on the bed and resting.  In the process, we made some small talk.  At one point, she asked me: "What do you do for a living?"  I answered: "I work in tech support."  Now, in civvie situations, I usually ask: "What about you?"  By force of habit, I almost said it to the provider, but realized within a split second what a faux pas that would be.

I can only imagine how she would have reacted if I actually asked her what she did for a living.

I've told this tale a few times, but its still hilarious.

While dangling my head from the bed, a gentleman unexpectedly fired off a round of fireworks in my mouth. Gravity being an unbreakable law, and my sinuses happening to be pointing toward the floor, the result was me having a bad moment there where I realized that the saying about drowning in 6 inches of water or less also applies to spooge!

He apologized profusely, and in between gasps I reassured him that I wans't mad. Then we both had a good laugh about it. This was over a year ago now, and I've seen him many times since then, even with a few head dangling moments (I do so enjoy that), but he is more circumspect about putting on the brakes ahead of time LOLOLOL

Oh, boy! Here goes . . .

I've had a few, but these are the funniest:

1)  I decided I wanted to spice up my look and felt like a change, so I attached a cute hairpiece (ponytail) to my real hair. It looks so real you'd never notice the difference. Well, my friend and I were getting pretty carried away. Before I knew it the hairpiece fell off and he thought he had just cut my head off. I laughed, threw it on the floor and told him, "Now you can really pull on my hair, harder -- no harder!"  He was in shock and I was embarrassed. Guys! Please realize we (ladies) sometimes wear hairpieces if the mood strikes us & it's sexy. It's very popular these days and makes a lot more sense than to have to grow your hair out, or cut it, then dye it, whatever.

Many providers have hair extensions and you guys don't even realize it, so unless we tell you to "intentionally pull on our hair or run your fingers through it," please refrain from doing so.

2)  I decided to try some fake eyelashes to give my eyes a more dramatic look, especially since it was evening and I was going for the seductive bedroom-eye look. When I was making my friend a drink, one of my eyelashes fell into the drink. He said to me, "Something looks different on you, but I can't figure it out" I looked down in the glass and realized a furry little creature was floating on an icecube. I was going to tell him, but I decided he wasn't the type to have a good laugh over it, so I said, "Nothing, it's just allergies," then I quickly rushed him off to the shower and took the other eyelash off (since it would be awkward trying to reglue it on) and made him another drink. He never knew it but I had a good laugh.

3)  Most common, but I haven't had it happen in awhile:  Pussy farts.  

I hope I gave a few people a good laugh. Geesh! I'm just too honest for my own good sometimes.

Hugs,
Ciara  

-- Modified on 10/18/2007 2:57:49 PM

Just happened last night. My client was using erotic lube on my body. Well my body had a reaction that my insides were on FIRE. I was red and swollen and had to spend time in a tub of water to ger the lube out. OUCH & embarrasing.

Another one:

A client pooped himself (didn't do any anal action on him prior) he must have not wiped enough. I sent him to the shower and me out the door.

What was that noise?! Did anyone hear that?

Was that the sound of someone passing gas while having sex?  No, actually I think that was the sound of Angel's career hitting the pavement.  No offense, but... yuck.

All my condoms were "magnum"......

....he wasn't.

-- Modified on 10/18/2007 7:23:00 PM

New thong
Had a big rhinestone on the top , in the back

It was so scratchy and itchy.. I hate brand new under garments

I get to the appt..
He loved my new thongs..

SO we were playing
Having fun
My ass was still itchy haahha
He said whats this ?
pulled out half of my rhinestone..
I was like
" Is that why I am so itchy " ?

we laughed..

He said
" Talk about A diamond in the rough !"