I guess this question could go on Newbie board but...... Very quickly, I have been hanging around here for several years now and finally got legally separated and have been for many months. I am trying to make my first connection with a lady and I can't find one that will see me with no references without giving my full name.  

Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with.  There is some escort who will work with you on your concerns.  I don't know of any but they are out there if you are diligent.  She may not be your first choice, but you gotta start somewhere!

-- Modified on 10/26/2014 11:33:31 PM

Having a nickname or a street name wouldn't help, and in your position you wouldn't want to start using one now. Everyone who's been in your situation found a way to make the first contact, but mostly each breakthrough was such a personal story that it doesn't apply as advice to someone else.

You can try P411 or date check.  They will need to verify employment but that can be discreet as well.  That is an option that some providers may take with no references.

When a client is super secretive like he's in the freakin secret service, it is intriguing to ponder who this mysterious gentleman is....  

go to the newbie board and do a search for "P411".  This topic comes up on that board almost every week (or so it seems).

The lady may be willing to meet you for drinks or coffee prior to a more private meeting.

Are you safer giving your name to a well reviewed gal who is very concerned about safety and therefore demands to know exactly whom she is meeting with, or seeing a gal who is not that concerned with safety and requires little to no screening?

I, and others, have decided the first option is safer than the second; but of course each of us has to decide for ourselves.

The screening service idea might be what you need, or just going to an anonymous massage parlor might be more your speed.

Where there's a will, there's a way.

not do you any harm either. So why even bother? There will be more guys blackmailed, harassed, and embarrassed than women who will get hurt by the guy.. The guy who really wants to hurt you really cares about a 5 feet 100 lbs gal having his name..LOL..And I think you are smart enough to know that. So that begs the question, why in the word you want the guy's personal information..  In fact thanks for telling everyone that you have guys real info.. Now you just made yourself more valuable in eyes of LE.  

As many guys have been outed on various sites (john outing sites) when an escort retires or escort agency shutdowns down after being busted. You might want to stick to backpage providers if you don't want to give up your information for screening.

also in addition require direct knowledge of personal identification?  I know some do, and I personally am not comfortable with it.  Would like to know other views & knowledge on this. Thanks

And a blackmailer will look closer at the CVS manager as a potential mark than the CEO. Why? The one most worried about it will the most anxious to pay. And the least powerful to do anything to defend himself.

I've been on P411 for many years and have only been asked for my full name once in all that time.  Then again, if you do your research, you find out which ones require it and don't waste your or their time.  I can only think of 3 or 4 gals in addition to the one that I have come across in my research that ask for more than your P411 ID.

but no one ever asked to see it, so I quit. Was in a fender bender coming home once, and had to peel the tape off before handing the license to police officer!

No less than three "well reviewed" providers have had melt downs lately and have either outed, threatened to out, or just slandered clients for transgressions as minor as giving a 7/7 review.

I don't mind giving out MY personal info, but I am blackmail proof. If I were the least bit worried about my personal info being made public I would NEVER give it out to some hooker I had never met.

OTOH I will say that I can't think of a single instance where P411 has compromised the personal information of a john. I would recommend them highly to the OP.

...at least what area you serve...

While I completely agree that you ladies need to be safe. Idiots like the one yesterday have to give pause to any guy with the least bit to lose if outed. She was "well reviewed" too, but can you imagine being a client of hers who had given her any sensitive info.

You ladies need to self police by drowning those BSC hookers that make your life more difficult, not to more dangerous in a bucket of their own shit.

I can't remember ever being asked for ID from a woman that I booked through P411. It might have happened once out of a couple of hundred times, if that much.

I love the convenience of P411, especially since I almost always book on short notice, very rarely more than a few hours in advance. P411 allows a woman to screen me in a matter of minutes instead of hours or days.

PS, remember to ask the ladies for okays. I don't do it all the time as I don't want hundreds of okays, I do it about once a month, just so new ladies can see some current okays and feel comfortable booking with me. Also, the ladies get credit for giving okays.

When  multiple roads will take you to your destination choose the one most appealing to you.  If the road you picked has a Do Not Enter Detour sign, you notice a cliff ahead, turn around or back up, take a different route.  

A hooker has his name to give to the police. No it might not deter a drick from hurting a girl, but he will get caught after the fact and punished should she go that route.

You to establish mutual trust. When you are unwilling to give information, it is going to be tough. Generally, when you deal with reputed, well reviewed providers, giving information is not a big problem. But, if your choices from not so well known providers, then you should be skeptical.  

I politely responded that I was not comfortable sharing personal info on top of P411, and she told me that I was wasting her time (initial phone call). She actually told me that I was being silly to not share with her because I had already shared with P411, so "what's the difference".  With that kind of logic and insistence I knew it was time to say sorry for any misunderstandings and best wishes, good bye.

If you do decide to "take the plunge" do yourself a favor and spring for VIP. Saving yourself just one bad appointment will save you the cost of VIP for years.

Have fun and be safe.

and yes I know I may be one of "those guys" that you can't stand, but I am here to help even if I do refer to providers as "hookers" and clients as "Johns" lol and for the record I "talk bad" about more men here than women, as there are more men on this board not worthy of respect that there are BSC hookers, but some people seem to ignore that little fact. lol

to police for the fear of their own prosecution... Also there are other methods to protect yourself such as a concealed carry weapon, or even a pepper spray would work miracles if push comes to shove. Like you said, if the guy is real dirtbag he is not even going to care... Most girls who get assaulted physically and sexually get assaulted by someone they know..

One board I'm on is rife lately with reports of attacks, rapes, and thefts not reported to police. Violence against prostitutes is not as uncommon as you think, and it's kept quiet.

It goes to show well reviewed does not mean safe.

I am genuinely appreciative of the advice given. I do not have a VIP so I can't read the messages being sent. Very quickly, the reason I am so concerned about exposure as lets just say I am involved with high school kids daily and having even one kid or parent know I went this route even once would destroy all the trust and respect I have built over these years. I am not famous like a Secret Service Agent or Politician etc... but in my area very well known and respected.

but I aint tellin lmao

If it’s a risk you’re not willing to take then don’t do it.  I might want to do something that may serious consequences and decide not to do it because the risk outweighs the reward. Only you can make that decision.  

Alyson,

all you have to do is see one or two very reputable providers from out of town (even try touring ladies), and you should be good to go. P411 is also a great option. I do require a real name typically, even with P411 (because accounts have been compromised in the past), but if a gent has a solid reference- especially if I know her personally, that's all he typically needs. For me, solid means that she has a website, reviews here, and even better, a board presence here. And if I get a guy who uses one of my personal friends as a reference, and she says lovely things about him- that's pretty much all he needs. A network is invaluable.  

conscious is just not true, at least in my experience. There is a lot of other info the girl can get from me, without any need for my real name, to play this game safely for her.  

but I bet it was so "valuable" to you that you don't even remember any of it. lmao

That's what really sucks about hookers like Zabrina, 98% of the women are like you and wouldn't dream of misusing the information entrusted to them, but that other 2% ruins it for the rest of you.

Thank you for your well thought out reply. I have no argument for anything you shared. Maybe what I am asking for in meeting with an outstanding lady that does not want my real name is too much to ask and if so, okay. I am not asking for concessions, favors or anything else.  

someone who is so disrespectful of you and your concerns doesn't deserve your $.
And actually, since the use of "okays" is the standard P411 practice for screening, the minority of ladies there who ask for MORE than that need to be clear in their ad about this, otherwise THEY are the time-wasters as many many of us would immediately skip over them if we saw this to be the case upfront.

Pick a place you've always wanted to travel to (U.S. or overseas) and schedule with some local ladies who don't tour anywhere near where you live. That experience should at least help you determine your level of comfort in this arena.

I don't know what's near SC, but maybe see a girl in Miami or something.  That's not too far from SC right?

Gambler I have been following TER for several years and without naming anyone there are obvious Douche Bags posting in here. You Sir, in my opinion for what it is worth are not in that category. I personally use different words and labels than you do and I do not agree with all you post. But all good here and thank you for your genuine words.

and nobody can do that for you. Would I see a guy without having his real info if I were a provider? Fk no. But that issue is for her to decide.

It was very discrete when they called my work and quite painless to confirm. I am a big fan of theirs and I think you will be too. Once you get a few p411 okays, setting up new appts becomes a breeze most of the time. GL.  

Those who know me would know otherwise. lol

who routinely make OP's bashing "dumb hookers" and the like. You might be surprised to find that I agree with you that they are douche bags not deserving of respect.

As for not agreeing with all I post, what a boring place this would be if we all agreed on everything? I hope my post/s were helpful, and I am glad that we are on the same page.

Or smart.  

Just like with review manipulation, it's the legitimate, hard working, dick sucking and fucking hookers like yourself that are the biggest losers.

For a guy who won't play because he is afraid to give out his info because of the BSC hookers, all he is out is the chance to have a bit of fun and get some "strange", no real biggie. For the ladies, it's your livelihood, you gals should get together and go string up these BSC hookers for the common good.

BTW none of this has anything to do with me personally, I am blackmail proof and don't have the least bit of problem supplying my real name address, blood type etc. I only shy away from doing so when it is "demanded" and the woman gives me the impression that she is going to "make me" jump through hoops in order to see her. That kind of attitude simply turns me off and I won't go any further with a woman with that kind of attitude, not because of any fears of what she will do with the info, but simply because I don't like those kind of people. A woman who can do it tactfully doesn't bother me at all and I provide the information willingly without a second thought.

First of all, please show me some sort of data that indicates that misuse of clients' personal info occurs more often than women being hurt in this business. Furthermore, which is worse: a damaged reputation, or a dead body?  

As I'm sure you've noticed, no one is going to come on the boards and go "holy shit, Sally Hooker was SOOOO professional and discreet with my personal info, YAY SCREENING!" and you'll never see some BSS (batshit sane) chick reiterate her own professionalism when it comes to screening info unless she's defending it. In other words, it's the dipshits and the crazies who get the most "press."  

Always nice to hear from someone who "gets it," whether they agree or not.  

I guess I had the misconception that the abusive clients were the kind that saw street walkers or lower level BP type girls. Not that I'm saying that abusing them is OK, it's definitely not.  

Your reasons for not wanting to share personal info are totally valid, and it seems like you are understanding about our side of this issue as well. For that reason, I apologize for my cuntiness in my original response to your OP. I interpreted it with the mindset of "oh god, another crybaby whining about screening and trying to figure out a way to game the system," and that was an unfair assessment.  

... I don't know how old the students you work with are but it's not beyond the realm of possibility that the provider you engage for an hours (or more) activity could be someone you know/knew/taught. If you do decide to get verified by P411 I suggest, as another poster did, going to nearby large cities to hobby.

Great insightful post. But I'll just say that I've only had about a half dozens times since 2005 that a potential client and I had to agree to disagree and not meet because of the no full name thing.

So for me, it didn't affect my income. And I know Leon will live but he won't be meeting me without me having that info. and please note, he's having difficulty, and trust me, he's been trying now for over a month. But this is just my experience. I'm sure Leon in the Carolinas can steer him towards some "great" ladies.



Steph

Great reply, fellow Ohioan.

to be safe, then move on and find someone with less stringent screening requirements.  A lady's safety comes first before you well known persona.

-- Modified on 10/27/2014 6:25:51 PM

buy a tracfone with cash.

when a P411 lady asked me for more info  I told her it would be fine but she would have to show me her ID when we met.

I think you still need to make the risk/reward decision on getting caught AT ALL first...  

I found my way into this game via BP. As long as your careful you can find quality hookers on BP that don't want your real name. Start there and get some experience and references. Then if you insist on paying overly inflated prices for mediocre service you can "step-up" too the high dollar hookers that think their pussies are golden. For me the combo of BP and TER have lead to years of good times without the ridicules prices some whores charge.

Did you see the recent train wreck on Chi Town board where one of your own is/ was threatening to out someone's personal info.. Internet is littered with personal info of Johns who has their info outed by pissed off hookers.  

You have said it enables you to report someone to the police.  

You don't get brownie points for good driving.. or a cookie.. But you drive drunk you are busted..  

That if he does anything REALLY serious, there will be an electronic trail connecting him to the girl that night. It would be really dumb for a guy to send an email w/all of his info, make an appointment, then kill a girl. Or hurt her so badly that she absolutely has to go to the hospital.  

Tense refers to time. As in, past tense.  

Now you're implying that I save everyone's shit in my email. Come on. Gimme a little more credit than that.  

by and large you (again Universal tense) providers save everything they get from us.. Amongst those who have been here long enough its a known thing...

A simple note like "Joe, mid 40s, met at Bates Motel in Lalaland on 10/28/14, skydiving enthusiast" is all we really need to save once a successful meeting has taken place. But that doesn't mean we have identifiable info saved or that we're letting emails with sensitive information just chill in our inboxes or in some other unencrypted archive. The fact of the matter is that those of us who handle ourselves professionally are not going to fuck that up by acting like dipshits with guys' info.  

I am not suggesting that everyone should live by my way.. But I am just pointing out to the risks in giving out personal information...Its just like BBFS. Those who want to do it can do it, and are probably doing it anyway, and its not my position to comment on them as far as their personal decision is concerned, but again having a discussion of the risks of BBFS as a practice to the community at large is not unreasonable on an open and public forum..

You specifically said that guys get blackmailed/harassed/embarrassed more than ladies get hurt, that ladies who screen via personal info are more valuable targets for LE, and that the OP should get P411 and just skip over the ones who ask for additional verification (that last one isn't bad advice per se, if that's how he wants to roll, it's the way you said it that was problematic). All of that combined with the incredulity and unfounded assumptions went a lot further than simple debate/risk assessment. You are entitled to your opinion and it's a valid one. All I take issue with are the sweeping generalizations.  

It's probably happened to me that many times in the past month! Maybe they just trust me less since I'm young. Hell if I know.  

Posted By: MatureGFE

Great insightful post. But I'll just say that I've only had about a half dozens times since 2005 that a potential client and I had to agree to disagree and not meet because of the no full name thing.

So for me, it didn't affect my income. And I know Leon will live but he won't be meeting me without me having that info. and please note, he's having difficulty, and trust me, he's been trying now for over a month. But this is just my experience. I'm sure Leon in the Carolinas can steer him towards some "great" ladies.

Steph

Do most providers prefer references on TER over a verification service?  I'm one of those guys that does not want my identity and personal info on a database that can be hacked or leaked.