The gentlemen who provide the necessary information, and understand my need to feel safe and comfortable are also the most fun and we have the best time!
And you pointed out beautifully the main reason why!
Thanks!
I see that alot of providers (in my area anyway) feel the NEED to get a potential clients life history. Why is this? For their own false sense of security or for future reference?
Who is to say that LE cant set up one of their own with all the necessary info they need. They pass the screening and then the provider STILL gets busted. Which brings us back to the original question, WHY do providers feel a need to get all this information?
I have NO problem showing a provider my DL IN PERSON. What I choose not to do (notice I said "choose") is send anything that can be saved as a hard copy for later use. Yes use.
If providers really "lose" this information right after the scheduled appointment, then the provider that called me ONE YEAR later to invite me for a session must have had one hell of a memory!
Yes, it is a matter of choice, I just wish the field wasnt so limited by a false sense of security.
Do nascar drivers drive in padded racetracks? do skydivers dive only over padded fields? No. Why? because they are doing what they love and choose to do it that way. If these providers are indeed doing "what they love" as they say then relax. Maybe some of these 6, 7 and 8 ratings in performance would jump because the providers lightened up and enjoyed themselves for a change.
ok feel free to flame away. but remember, this was one mans opinion.
It is always a risk, but is a relatively small risk, especially when given to established ladies.
Only give the info you are comfortable giving, and see someone else if a particular provider requires info you are not willing to give.
Many escorts do relax and provide a truly enjoyable GFE that is mutually enjoyable. Many don't. Not everyone loves what they do regardless of what they say.
believe me, sometimes it's just as frustrating to have to get referrals too. I don't ask a million questions, but it's highly unlikely that a reference from another provider would come from LE. First, if I don't know the lady, I will ask her if she's on Eros.com or another site. I don't trust the reference of a provider who doesn't advertise. Most LE wouldn't go to the trouble of creating a website and advertising. So, you are right as far as the fact that LE could do this at some point in time, then our efforts would be fruitless. I guess it's a secure feeling to know that another comrade in the business can vouch for you guys. Then there's always the comments and questions we steer away from with new clients too.
Hugs,
Ciara
and I would hope that you could understand the provider's too. Both groups do need to feel safe. There is no way around it! I would suggest that you stick with providers who do either light to no screening. There must be some providers out there, who practice this (?) This may make your journey better (?).
As for myself, When I hear of providers being murdered, robbed, and threatened, I know for me to become lax in screening, is for me to accept my fate. I know that screening is not 100% chance proof, but for me to just suddenly drop my procedures, is like me walking to the police station and turning myself in.
When a hobbyist refuses to go through my screening, I do understand where he is coming from. I don't ever hold grudges. I would like to also think that he would hold no grudes with me, when I turn down an appt. with him.
Until the day where prostitution becomes legalized in all 50 states, I shall always screen for my safety. Notabadguy, no I don't feel that you are a bad guy at all! You need to do what is best for you, as we providers need to do what is best for us! WE all have a voice, and I like to think our voice will be heard on election day. But sadly, I feel it may never happen. But a provider can wish, can she?
-- Modified on 6/23/2004 12:03:00 PM
amen DMistress!.
Notabadguy, same way that you as a hobbyist want to make sure that the lady is the same person in the pictures and will do what she says she'll do and is who she says she is, us providers need to be at least 80% sure that the person who will come at our door is not some jobless psycho whose only hobby is harrass providers. Therefore the work number/place verification, etc .
If you have several reviews posted most likely that will help with the screening or if you give a referral from a lady you have seen before that will help not having to give out much information about you though.
I'm sorry but there is nothing false about my sense of security when I walk into an appointment knowing that the person I am seeing is who he says he is, and does what he says he does, just because I took the time to ask some basic questions. No I don't need someones whole life story, but I do want some verifiable information.
As far as info saved on ones hard drive. OK Ill play through this scenario. Say it is saved and LE finds it. What is going to happen then? What can they prove except that at some point you contacted me, thats it. I believe you need to be caught in the act of soliciting to be prosecuted. As long as you don't write anything that is explicit. I could be wrong on this. But I have never heard of LE showing up at a hobbyists door because they emailed a provider their information. Unless the person you were contacting is under age. Just my two cents
First let me say that I have no quarrel at all with your first paragraph. Whether or not I agree with the importance of any particular bit of information you might require has no relevance to this discussion. You do what you have to do to maintain your comfort level and that's it.
Stored information is another story. You say "I believe you need to be caught in the act of soliciting to be prosecuted." Actually, that's what they need to get a conviction. Short of that there's not much LE can't do or hasn't done. They can bring the guy into the police station for questioning, they can publish his name in the newspaper. They can threaten and even initiate prosecution, knowing full well they can't get a conviction but hoping to scare the guy into testifying against you. They can ask questions of his coworkers. Etc, etc.
I can understand a provider who wants my first and last name, the phone number for my office switchboard to confirm I work there, and to see a photo ID when I arrive. The ones who want a reference from another provider, I don't bother with. I've also learned not to call providers from my (non-work) cell phone -- at least not until I get a better sense of who they are. The last thing I want is those guys from Law & Order showing up at my home with a photo of an escort and a copy of her phone bill.
It's for safety measures. If you do not like it, then I can certainly understand why you wouldn't see such a provider who initiates such references. But please understand why we have to do this. Actually, I would think that another provider reference is safer than calling your work place. Anyway, I'm very discreet whatever I do.
Hugs,
Ciara
... and everyone is entitled to his/her own personal theshold. Personally, I'm fussy about giving out personal info in any situation. I mean, I won't even give my real birthdate when if I'm asked when registering on a web site.
As far as references go, while I don't need them for screening (ID-ing the gentleman), I 'like' to have at least one lady verify that she wasn't ripped off, nor was she harmed. That's what I use the reference for.
It seems a waste of a police budget to send anybody to your door over that. Even vice cops would agree.
/Zin
-- Modified on 6/24/2004 10:19:07 PM
Youre bitching because a lady you want to have sex with is asking you some personel questions for her own safety??
Get real!!!
Yeah its a bitch to have to tell her some details about you, but don't you think its a bitch for her to have to spread her legs for someone she has no idea who he is?
God, when are some of these guys going to get it.
Ladies, if I ask you for a date, you may ask me anything you want.
If it's important for me to want to see you, then I can oblige and give you as much info as you need to feel comfortable with me.
Just my opinion...
B
you've got a bonus coming..
...going to get it?!? I don't know how many iterations of this issue have appeared on these boards but there have been several in the last month or so.
Here's a link to one for example:
http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=99511&boardID=12&page=3
Here's a copy of what I posted in that previous thread:
"When are some guys going to accept that women are far more vulnerable in this activity?
There seems to be this "logic" employed by some that those providers who screen are going to miss out on "great guys"(implied) who choose not to give the required screening info.
Somehow I don't think those of you(providers) who require reasonable screening info loose any sleep over missing out on such self proclaimed "great guys" (their implied self description)."
This is not rocket science! What do you not understand about the concept of just MOVING ON to someone who does not ask for reasonable screening info?
You do your homework. You find someone who is established and well reviewed and also screens reasonably. If under those circumstances you are still unwilling to provide the info then take you chances with someone else.
Remember this is about their safety as much or MORE than your's.
Sometimes I think you guys want a free ride. You want others of us to provide this screening info and help a provider establish a presence here and then when you find someone you like, who is well reviewed, you want her to make an EXCEPTION for you.
Try walking in her shoes.
Having said all this, I do feel a little uneasy about asking a provider I may have seen for a reference especially if she herself did not ask me for a reference from another provider when she first saw me. I feel as if i am infringing on her time, either directly or indirectly. I certainly wouldn't give a name out as a reference without asking her permission first. My feeling is that some of the more established providers are too busy for this.
Moreover it is just a matter of personal choice for me not to ask a provider for a reference when she never asked me to provide one in the first place.
I would rather give other info in lieu of the provider reference,
and often times that will work. If not, I'm free to look elsewhere. I don't get bent out of shape about it or go on some sort of rant.
So as bobb3950 stated more eloquently than I:
"give the girls a break"
Incentive to comply? Just check the 3 posts right above mine.
-- Modified on 6/23/2004 6:16:37 PM
-- Modified on 6/23/2004 7:59:55 PM
-- Modified on 6/23/2004 8:06:19 PM
>Ladies, if I ask you for a date, you may ask me anything you want.
give us your wifes phone number and lets ask her if its ok you spend your afternoons with an escort.
That must be why you are asking Bob for his wife's phone number, right? :P
Bob is a nice guy, whether he was sarcastic or not. I know him. You, I don't know, and I say that if you are so concerned about what you have to lose because you are a "local celebrity", the safest angle for you might be for you to keep it in your pants (or your SO) until you go out of town, then see providers who don't screen as much (which there are plenty of), and leave the amazing women on here who happen to screen to men like Bob and I who don't have anything to lose instead of trying to change what they feel comfortable with, as they are putting their ass on the line every time they see a stranger.
Just my .02, and not trying to flame you, but this thread is frayed by now.
Peace.
I suspect you are just trying to make a point, but you really missed the mark.
Any lady that asked that question is not someone I would consider spending time with anyway.
I stand by my post and hope that you other guys would take the hint from the responses posted. There are alot of "high class", "quality" ladies who appreciate the positive attitude and willingness to be open with them.
BTW, when they feel safe and secure with you, I guarantee the date will be so much more "fun".
To the ladies who responded to my post:
Thank you for your positive comments of support.
But it's you, we should be thanking, for what you give us and allow us to have.
Just my opinion...
B
On this same topic, I have a question:
I set up a session with a well-reviewed local (ATL) provider. We exchanged a few e-mails, then I called her on the phone. We did not discuss rates or anything like that. Just the appointment time. Then she gave me directions and told me to call her again when I was in the 'hood.
She has not asked me for any other information.
Should I be concerned about this?
Thanks.
This is really directed at you and sedona. I note from your profiles that neither of you offers CIM or anal. Does this mean you thind that the guy should avoid providers who do because you find these activities repugnant, too risky, or both? I doubt it.
So why be so judgemental about another lady's screening practices? Just like you she has the right to ask as many OR AS FEW questions as she feels she needs to.
I suspect you just got caught up in the heat of battle, and that your cause would be better served by aiming your fire where it really belongs: at those guys who are only concerned only about themselves and have no understanding or consideration for your concerns.
with judging her, or her choices but I will give you a hint: it can be very 'suspect', that's for sure.
We'll have plenty of time to talk more about this. Can't really say here.
I actually agree with you on this point (even though I tend to side with the women on the screening issue). The only concern a guy has when he decides on someone and calls her is if she is LE or if she is indiscreet. If she is a "well-reviewed" provider (which, I assume, means at least several reviews and good scores), that takes care of his concerns, so why she he be worried if she doesn't screen him past a phone call and several e-mails?
Having said that, I don't think either Ciara or Sedona were "firing" with their responses. They explained their position elsewhere on the thread, but in this one they just expressed their opinion on what the guy asked. We disagree. C'est la vie.
I really feel that this is a subject where there's plenty of room for reasonable people to disagree. I try to state my views as rationally as I can and with respect for those who don't agree with me.
Having just read Sedona's post on this I'm anxious to hear what she has to say. One trap I try to avoid is arguing against anyone before you know what they're saying. And it's even happened that people have succeeded in changing my mind.
Peace, bro.
are you bashing Sedona and I because we're voicing our opinion? I think what you said about us not performing CIM or anal is way off base and rude! We're not bashing another provider. That's a no-no! I am simply stating that I find it a little strange that she doesn't ask for references, but I really don't care one way or the other. It's her life. If you don't want to hear the truth, then you shouldn't ask.
Hugs,
Ciara
"It would make me wonder." Meaning: it's questionable. That's all! Gees! You guys are worse than a sewing circle sometimes. Wink!
Hugs,
Ciara
NOR anywhere near as OFTEN.
If I could say the things I would truly like to say in a room full of you guys, your mouths would drop and half of you would be freaked as hell about continuing in the hobby at all!
Then you'd possibly also develop a new and profound sense of awe at the shit that we have to go through and wonder where we ladies hide our set of testicles! Sorry to be so crude, but this post and many of its kind deserve it!
Then you have the audacity to act as if we have no clue what LE can/cannot/do/don't do! You're preachin' to the choir! Tis YOU who has no idea the stuff that they DO and DON'T do. Just take a look at the incredibly stupid and naive post by a guy on the SD board saying that LE doesn't get VIP status, nor write reviews to gain our confidence,etc. as they wouldn't go to that much trouble! Hello, MCFLY??? Now that's one guy I don't want to see because he's dangerous! IGNORANCE is DANGEROUS!
What good does your first and last name ONLY do? What good does showing your DL (only) do? OK..so you just proved to me that you ARE John Smith. Big deal. We need to PROVE who you ARE and who you AREN'T. And that means where you spend your 40 hours.
Does that GUARANTEE safety? NO! Of course not. But it sure the hell reduces the likelihood of bad things! Especially when you keep on top of what 'they' do, and have ways of verifying what we need to know.
We ladies don't let you guys in on what it's like in reality, how often we are contacted by LE for a date, or how we might suspect we are being set up for a sting, and how OFTEN that goes on. We SHIELD you guys from that because a part of our 'job' is to make it all seem so simple, so sensual and easy. After all, you want your customers to be relaxed and enjoy. If they knew you just tiptoed through a mine field, they'd freak. Reminds me of the line from Jack Nicholson, "you can't handle the truth"! I mean, pick up the phone, make a date and we'll have fun. Simple. You even imply, "if you really love what you do, relax". Man, do you need a clue!
What are you so afraid of? All you need to do for the most part is pick a well known lady, just give your name and where you work and that's it!
Shoot..wish my end were so easy..
Very good points. In my earlier days, I have had some close calls with sting operations because I was made to feel bad for checking all that information out, but you get burned once, and you never feel the desire to take that kind of chance again.
I also understand how some of these gentlemen are hesitant about giving some information out, because some ladies used it as a way to control or attempt to control a situation that should have been discussed and worked out between the two parties, not posted information all over the net to get even for a no show.
Men, please understand that this business is not as simple and quick money as you seem to think. There is a price that we pay, we must be careful, we must watch out for ourselves. We check your work verification to validate that you are indeed who you say you are to build security. We check with the other girls to make sure that the person that you just proved you are is also a decent person who is not going to try to harm us, steal from us, or stalk us and with that builds up trust. So by the time we meet, these issues can be dealt with, the provider is much more relaxed and you should be relaxed as well, if you do you homework and stick with well known professional providers. It's really more of a win-win situation for everyone involved~
The gentlemen who provide the necessary information, and understand my need to feel safe and comfortable are also the most fun and we have the best time!
And you pointed out beautifully the main reason why!
Thanks!
Having a problem with screening in this business is like wanting to try out for a sports team and not being willing to submit to a physical. How many stories are there on TER of TER ladies who have "used" information and gotten hobbyists busted compared to providers being busted...or, as Sedona so correctly notes, harassed, stalked, watched, and threatened?
Anyone who has a problem with screening can always date Rosie instead.
Well put my dear. EOM
as to what we go through on a weekly basis. Some do, and those usually are the best clients anyway. Those who bitch and moan about every little thing should go elsewhere and not waste our time. We are independents. That means we can pick and choose who we want too -- just like you guys do. Those who don't like the screening process can seek out companionship elsewhere. We're not forcing your hand in the matter, but leave us the heck alone already! Sorry, but this @#$$%^^^@@!@#@?!!!!! is really starting to piss me off. That's why I left for vacation. Give us a freakin' break, please!
Hugs,
Ciara
Hey Ciara;
Don't have a cow. It's not worth it.
We are not going to change some peoples minds.
Maybe some will get it and change but not all, and those are the guys who will miss out on seeing some of the most beautiful, wonderful ladies out here.
Thanks for being there...
Just my opinion...
B
I get an uncomfortable feeling when I encounter a provider who doesn't do a reasonably complete screen. I wonder - if she is lax on screening, what other details is she ignoring? That feeling has been validated a few times.
It did take me a little while to get used to the Canadian approach to screening, because the ladies up there tend not to do reference checks, but I understand that the legal situation is different there.
What do you mean by "validated"???
By "validated", I mean that the providers who didn't screen well were, in my experience, unprofessional or inattentive to other details, such as:
Arrived to appointment dressed sloppily
Hygiene not up to highest standards
Forgot to bring condoms
Really poor technique (toothy BJs - ouch!)
Left documentation of real name and address in hotel room
Not any deal-breakers here, except the no condom issue - just things that made for a less than wonderful date.
It doesn't improve with age.
I had noticed things getting a bit repetitive lately.
OK, so she did not screen me. Not a good sign. But the provider is well reviewed on this site, over a long period of time.
I know the neigborhood she lives in. It is a nice area, residential homes, not apartment.
What do I risk by showing up and seeing what the situation feels like? Can I get busted for just showing up?
Thanks for all your advice.
Sorry but it seems that girls who don't screen at all have more problems. And I know screening is not fool proof whatsoever. Seeing the guy's ID when I am already in the room with him is not good enough. I have a huge blacklist and if they are on it, they won't get anywhere with me. I need their info to feel safe. I agree with the comment posted below that we need to be at least 80% (preferrably more) sure who you say you are. And there are ways to check this out (that should not be posted all over the boards).
Please realize that men are more violent than women. This is explained in many books I have read about staying safe, etc. You just don't hear of that many providers hurting the clients, etc. Also, we need to feel safe. I have had guys call and harass me before on the phone and just want to argue, people who I have only spoken to on the phone! They call from a number one week and then again the next week w/ the same number and using a different name. They play games. This is only some guys, not all. Some are perfect gentlemen. I've been lucky though.
It's unfortunate that it has to be this way but there is someone for everyone. I happen to know of alot of ladies in my area who do not screen. If god forbid anything happens to me, I want to know that the info is somewhere. We don't all keep records. But I do keep it until the date is over with a new client.
I feel safer w/ screening my clients, but it's not for everyone and I understand your apprehension. On a local board in my area, the ladies are outing each other left and right and it is scary! And sad. 
I hope these comments and others will help you see our side of things.
Sara
if you are a doctor, I'll ask you something like what are partial pressure volumes of lung capacity. If you are a welder I am going to ask you about gas chemistry. If you are a stock broker I am going to feel nervous, not my strong point. I ask lots of questions. Sometimes if it just doesn't feel right, I cancel.
Just ask him in what city is the Mercantile Exchange and the CBOE... if he or she says Boston, you'll know they are not what they seem. The answer is CHICAGO. The nice thing about most good stock or commidities brokers or traders is they have long dough. Keep that in mind when you decide to corner the market (pun intended).
Notabadguy,
You're not a bad guy at all. We ALL do what we do (or don't do) as a means to protect ourselves from the shadows and our fears... your choice NOT to give info is as legit and valid as a ladies right NOT to see anyone who refuses to provide it.
There are ladies and/or agencies with light or no screening. If that feels safer to you, find them... play safe, and have fun!
A few notes on screening and records fears:
"I have NO problem showing a provider my DL IN PERSON"
Showing your DL in person is only good AFTER a screening, as a confirmation that YOU are the same person who was screened. It does nothing to assure a lady that your profession is not a threat to them, or that you are not a known dangerous individual.
I know that *MY* performance would decline if I "lightened up and enjoyed (myself) for a change." It is the sense of security that my screening provides which allows me to really loosen up and let go in person.
If it helps to assauge your fears at all:
On the off-chance that your info was somehow tied to a lady or her phone or her computer history, it does not prove that you committed a crime! Even IF it could be proven that you paid for her time and companionship - that is not a crime!
Every lady I know who screens is extremely careful with disposing the info for THEIR OWN SAKE. If a lady is investigated, any contact info retained creates the opportunity for a witness against THE LADY. If you are not in the room with her when she is arrested, YOU are not the one who will be charged.
Safety first, but...
"Paranoia will destory ya'"
- The Kinks
xoxo,
Sola
-- Modified on 6/23/2004 9:45:39 PM
I really don't think so. as I stated in my original post most providers will tell a guy they lose the info after a meeting. what I said was, READ CAREFULLY; "If providers really "lose" this information right after the scheduled appointment, then the provider that called me ONE YEAR later to invite me for a session must have had one hell of a memory!
not one female that responded here seemed to dispute this FACT. WHY? they know its true?
your right, I will not give out information because #1 I have a SO, get it? and #2 I am a local celebrity in my town. I am not ending up in anyones little black book. Charlie Sheen + national celebrity = so? big deal! Me + local celebrity = loss of job, financial independence, respect in the community, family and more.
yes I am Pi**ed because I have been contacted repeatedly by escorts and ripped off more times than I care to remember. true, maybe guys here dont know the escort side, but how would some high profile doctors or lawyers on this board like to give up their careers, family and more? higly unlikely (except the smarta** that says "go ahead ask me anything") chances are that guy has NOTHING to lose!
-- Modified on 6/23/2004 11:41:03 PM
I really do understand what you are saying.
I too, have a SO, a family and would not want them to become aware of my hobby.
Thats why I am very picky as to who I see.
Ladies who screen extensively and wholly, are ladies I know I can trust not to abuse the information.
AND IT IS A MATTER OF TRUST.
If you don't trust her not to abuse the information, you shouldn't even consider seeing her.
As to a lady making contact after time has passed, thats an issue you have to address up front. If you don't want them to, tell them not to and if they do, and you didn't want them to, make it very clear, in no uncertain terms that this is unacceptable.
Just my opinion...
B
I wasn't going to get b*tchy here- but WHO THE HELL do you think you are??!!
What's so bloody important about your need to get laid that it puts YOUR exceptionally paranoid concern over discretion above OUR NEED for safety??
I'm here to tell ya pal-
There is NO ONE ON THIS EARTH above being screened. Period. I don't care if you claim to be the King of Prussia- I don't know anything about you unless you prove it. And I'll be damned if I'm spending time alone with a complete stranger who has flat-out refused to answer basic questions to establish his identity.
If you have an acceptable history of hobbying, then you should AT LEAST be able to use references as a screening option. But oh wait- then you'd have to tell her YOUR NAME!!! OMG!!!
/sarcasm
***Moving right along***
You said:
"If providers really "lose" this information right after the scheduled appointment, then the provider that called me ONE YEAR later to invite me for a session must have had one hell of a memory!"
In response:
1) That was ONE girl. Her behavior is not indicative of the rest of our collective behaviors. I don't know of many established providers who would ever do this out of the blue. Perhaps you should more carefully chose providers AND make it crystal clear and you expect never to be contacted by them again, ever. (You shouldn't have to do that, but it could only help you, right?)
2) If you're SO SUPER MEGA FAMOUS then certainly she would remember your name, and it wouldn't be too far of a stretch to think she'd be able to find your number again. Duh.
That's all. For now.
Love,
Denise
I am well known in my community; have family and prominence also; and am a business owner, too. There are other things I can't mention here as it would easily identify me!
Stop thinking you're so special! Do you have ANY IDEA how high the profile of some of our clients ARE???
Pick ladies that you know wouldn't contact you a year later, that wouldn't rip you off! Sorry you had a bad run of it, but it wasn't because you GAVE the info, it was because they abused it!
We have responded in our way. We try not to bash other ladies.
All those recommendations to - do your research, only see someone that you trust, go to ladies who ask for little for YOUR comfort, play safe and have fun...
Those were all direct responses to your unfortunate situation.
Why are you so hostile?
Noone here has told you to go f*#K yourself, we respect your right to choose who you want to see based on their screening process.
Sedona has it right.
We ALL have much to loose.
The problem was the abuse of info, not giving it.
The lady should NOT have retained your info OR called you.
That said, how are you threateded? It sounds like you must have been someone who stuck favorably in her mind... or she was extremely hard up.
Tell her in no uncertain terms to loose the info, and have some compassion.
I think it's interesting that rather than criticize your own choice you choose to criticize our screening methods. You chose the provider who ended up contacting you a year later. Why should we (as individuals who haven't done that) be blamed? At any rate, isn't it possible that she actually did just happen to remember your info? My memory of people I saw a year ago could be jogged by a post I see or a comment from another provider. Not that I think it's ok to solicit you at that point.
You've been "contacted repeatedly and ripped off?" LOL, again I question YOUR choices not OUR practices. Whatever you are doing (in terms of who you choose to see/providers who don't screen) doesn't appear to be working for you anyway.
I, too, have a lot to lose so I understand what you're saying. But you need to understand our safety too. I have sort of a high-profile job too, but I have a website. That is why I don't show my face. However, if someone I knew really looked at the pictures, they would know it's me. I'm taking much more of a chance that you could ever dream of taking. So you don't need to preach here. Many of us might be large symbols in our community -- maybe even actors, actresses, reporters, the Queen of fu . . . . England. Sorry, had to throw some humor in there. If you do not like the screening process, I certainly can understand that, but don't harp on why we do it. Go elsewhere and take a chance with someone on the street and pray it's not a vice cop.
Hugs,
Ciara
We understand your concern for discretion. After all, it's not like WE want everyone knowing OUR business either.
However:
You're asking for a rather personal service- often times being let into a woman's home. YOU therefore are the one with the "burden of proof" when it comes to validating that you're not 1) LE, 2) a creep, or 3) on america's most wanted.
Would you let a complete stranger off the street into your home? Would you go to a hotel room alone with someone you just met? If not, then why would you expect any of us to do that?
Providers are at far greater risk than you are- both legally, professionally and personally. All it takes is ONE "bad" client to ruin a girl's LIFE- not just her private reputation. :/
The worst likely to happen to you is an invasion of your privacy- since the odds of LE targeting YOU are not all that compelling. Conversely, the worst that could happen to a provider is she's raped, robbed and murdered by someone she didn't screen properly. Try and keep it in perspective!
Employment verification and/or reference checks are reasonable, IMO. Personally, I can tell you right now that as far as personal/employment information goes- I have absolutely no incentive to hang onto those details after they've been properly verified.
But just for the record- Employment verification serves two purposes: it helps prove you're not LE, and also serves as a means of proving your identity prior to a date. Checking an ID card at the door is NOT sufficient to prove anything about you. Charles Manson had an ID card. The chief of police has an ID card. The fact that you have ID does nothing to establish your credibility, and as already mentioned does nothing to protect us from legal repercussions after the fact. :/
In closing:
You should really only do business with girls who are well known/reviewed that you know will not abuse your personal information. Then you know that you're not only having your own privacy protected, but that you're spending time with someone who cares enough about herself to screen her clients- which probably means a better experience for you.
Be safe~
Denise B.
I love your style. Sock it to him! Yours too, LilyJune..make me cream, ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ))))))))))))
-- Modified on 6/24/2004 4:17:46 PM
say that not only is that type of screening reasonable, but essential. It is also comforting to my Security persons and personal life members to know that those principles are in place and are not compromised.
Hot pix, btw..
And for the comliments. 
This was definitely the "nice" message I posted, though. The one a few replies above this was a little... nastier. But when someone wants to be an @sshole and pull out the boxing gloves, it's best to let them know that we don't get paid to put up with abusive BS, so they better knock it off!
Thanks again,
Love
Denise
=D
Every time a provider meets with a new guy, she's risking not just arrest, she's putting her life on the line. Maybe we do too, but we're the ones paying, we've already accepted that risk, and have already had the opportunity to do our homework. She hasn't.
I think if you want to attract better women to this profession, stable people, who still give you a good time and who don't resent you, you'll submit to the screening. If you want something edgier, there are a lot of desperate SWs out there.
/Zin
shrinks to nothing, I would rather get out of the hobby or (shudder) find a girlfriend than give out the info. Each party to these transactions takes a risk but there is no way I will increase my own risk so greatly. For God's sake, employer's name and phone number? Home phone number? If Michele Wild, Sylvia Saint and Celeste were all ready to have me join a 24-hour orgy, I still wouldn't give out that info. Not worth the increased risk to my career.