Most providers require references from other providers you’ve seen.
When I first got involved in this a couple of months ago, I had no references. I hadn’t seen anyone. The first two women I responded to asked me for references. I said sorry, I haven’t done this. They said sorry, you won’t get my business.
Then I found a great provider who didn’t ask for a reference. I saw her a few times. Then I asked her if I could use her for a reference and she said yes.
I used her three times for references and I think I may have overstepped. While she did give me good references, and it allowed me to see Miss TER Debra last week when she toured Nashville, she emailed me that I have to have another date with her before she’ll give me any more references.
And I can understand that, from her point of view. I’m spending my money on other women and not on her. I’ve been one of her regulars for a few weeks and she doesn’t want to lose my business to other women.
I was wondering something about references. Maybe some of the providers here can weigh in. Do the providers get back with the providers who have them references about the guys? Do they say “Hey, that guy was great, thanks for the good reference” or “That guy was awful. Why do you send a good reference on him?”
I just wondered about that sort of thing. What happens to the references?
I think providers don't like repeat reference giving because it takes time from their day to research and respond (unlikely they remember off the top of their head who you are, how you behaved, etc. ) So they have to look it up then reply etc. All for nothing in return.
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I generally book through p411 and get okays. I'll always ask for the okay withing 24 hours. Then I never have to bother them again.
You did the right thing in asking the provider you have seen if she would reference you. That is using the proper etiquette in this business that very few hobbyists take the time to do and I'm sure she really appreciated you asking her rather than just going ahead and using her as a reference.
In Vegas if someone uses you 3 times as a reference, but it is in another city, there is no harm done, but even with that 3 times might be close to wearing out a good thing. I have referenced clients, but very rarely multiple times in Vegas with the same client because our clients are from all over the world and may get come back to Vegas that often.
If a reference should turn out to be a bad reference from our experience that is extremely rare, we would let the referencing provider know that and would maybe not use her again as a reference and if a reference is from more than 6 months old, we may move on to the next reference if there is another because references that are too old aren't always the best. If things worked our well with the reference, well they are supposed to. That's what references and networking with other providers are for. That's the way they system is supposed to work, so we would not convey that information back to the referencing provider.
I tip a little extra before I leave and ask them if they would mind giving me reference two times, no more. Since I'm giving them an increased tip for the time involved, I have never had a provider refuse, nor have I ever had them fail to come through with the reference, but I would never ask them for more without seeing them again. I think her request that you see her again before she gives you any more refs is perfectly reasonable.
I don't like to bother the ladies I have seen with requests to "vouch" for me on their own time in order for me to see their competitors. I much prefer getting okays on P 411 and if a provider I want to see decides to reach out to one (or several) of them in their screening process I am just fine with that.
As for your other questions I'll let actual providers who can speak to your questions first hand answer those questions.
If I may chime in, I agree with both gentlemen. P411 and okay's is the way to go.
use reference A to see provider B, then
A and B to see provider C, then
B and C to see provider D...
No one is overburdened and you have a nice network. Use A again in a pinch and/or if she's a regular.
In my experience, providers don't report back on a refered client unless she knows the other provider. Most assume you're gonna hit it and quit it anyway. Not much value in cross-chat unless you're dangerous.
A lifetime subscription to P411 is worth it IMHO. Once you get a couple of OKs under your belt, the need for references, in general, disappears. I don't remember the last time I had to give a reference. I've had many providers tell me that I can use them as a reference, which is appreciated. But, haven't had to take them up on it.
One drawback, and which I don't like, is sometimes a provider will contact the most recent providers I've visited on P411, without me saying its ok, or getting permission. Fortunately, most times they know each other so I hear backchannel that somebody asked about me. No Bueno in my book, but as somebody noted it is ok amongst providers I guess.
My number was asking for 2 maximum references, even if I was seeing the provider regularly. Just think if a provider is giving references, how much time that might take up - time she isn't getting paid.
Yes it takes some effort to give out a reference, but from my POV its a sexworker safety thing & so will always provide references.
And from a selfish perspective, I always hope that another provider will respond to my reference request and so I would never hold up giving out one in hopes he'll only visit me.
My overall experience is that a client will get a reference from me and still have a return visit down the road.
I'm not a zero sum game gal and so if he finds a better fit, who am i to question true love :-P
xoxo
Kacy TGirl
I don't do reviews (long story) therefore I do not use providers for references. I have no problem giving out personal information (within reason) and I don't give a rats ass if anyone knows I'm seeing hookers. I do have a provider or two I can use (one is retired) if absolutely necessary. I know many don't like that method but for me it is not an issue. I tend to repeat often so it's not really a problem for me.
-- Modified on 9/1/2020 5:01:08 PM
but I have never really put the "therefore" between the two statements. lol
I am much like you where it comes to personal info, as long as I don't have to fill out some stupid form I really don't mind giving a hooker my personal info, after all what is she really going to do with it? I am blackmail proof where it comes to fucking hookers, in my case EVERYONE already knows I am seeing hookers. lol
For me P411 fills all those needs, I have a few dozen "okays", I don't request an okay from every provider I see, just enough to have a couple of current ones, if a provider wants to contact any of them, I am perfectly ok with that too, just don't ask me to "apply for a date" and we are fine. So far the only providers I know that ask for more info than they can get from my P411 profile are the hookers that run their mouths on the discussion boards, none of the women I have actually tried to book with have ever asked me to jump through all the hoops that a lot of the women on social media claim they make their Johns jump through.
I give my real ID if they ask for it. Most don't, most just accept my p411 okays. I'm only blackmailable in the sense that I am married and could face a divorce. But I can understand some higher level CEO types who aren't publicly known but who would probably face loss of employment if their secrets came out. Celebrities and famous people just have to risk it, since they are likely to be recognized.
I have honestly lost track of how many times I have been "outed", not by providers I have actually seen of course, but by cowardly posters right here on TER who think it's okay to ruin someone's life (or at least try to) over some meaningless words spoken on an anonymous fuck board. If people will out you over shit you say on a discussion board, imagine what they would do if you committed the crime of posting an honest review of an OTHFB, or heaven forbid show up 20 minutes late to an appointment.
My advice to anyone with anything to lose where it comes to supplying blackmail information to a provider is DO NOT do it, it simply isn't worth ruining your life to see ANYONE here, no matter how reasonable, how well reviewed or how "nice" she seems at the moment.
I agree wholeheartedly, truer words have never been spoken about this!
SOMETHING to lose, but the question is, do you give a fuck? Lol
Posted By: Maxvan68
I was wondering something about references. Maybe some of the providers here can weigh in. Do the providers get back with the providers who have them references about the guys? Do they say “Hey, that guy was great, thanks for the good reference” or “That guy was awful. Why do you send a good reference on him?”
I just wondered about that sort of thing. What happens to the references?
If the client does something that's a negative, then yes a lady might follow up with me or vice versa. If he cancels, no-shows, shorts the $ or otherwise does something wrong then that's the sort of thing we need to know so yes, that type of information is sometimes exchanged afterwards.
Positive notes after the reference? Rarely.
Why not? This basically comes down to keeping communication as discreet and efficient as possible. (Also because it might rub the lady who gave the reference the wrong way!)
I'm always happy to provide references. There have been a few men who have given my name to other companions many times, sometimes for years after a single date. Why? Because not all ladies will respond to reference requests so they keep giving the name of the one they know WILL answer lol.
I prefer not to give a reference for someone I haven't seen in the past 12 months but.... if it helps the other lady out, I will do so, however I'll be clear about how long it's been since I saw the gentleman. 
Oh, and thank you again! xoxoxo
-- Modified on 9/2/2020 8:32:28 AM
