A recent threat on the San Diego board involved a highly regarded provider with a history of no-shows.  The problems of tardiness and no-shows are on going and certainly not limited to any single provider.  The purpose of this post is to invite discussion of these problems and suggest some possible remedies.

It is obvious to see how a no-show negatively impacts providers economically.  Hobbyists often suffer economically as well from a no-show.  A self-employed hobbyist incurs an opportunity cost in the form of not being able to bill the hours he was away from work.  Other hobbyists may lose comp time, etc. as a result of a no-show.  For those who are married or have a SO there is the added problem in that there are only so many times when a hobbyist can disappear without arousing suspicion.  Finally, both providers and hobbyist can also occur out of pocket costs, such as unused hotel rooms.

Let me begin with the problem of tardiness, a serious problem for hobbyist with tight schedules—as is often the case for those with a wife or SO as well as those who hobby during the lunch hour.  What compensation, if any, should be offered for a late arrival.  For the sake of discussion, may I suggest a 15-minute grace period for both providers and hobbyists.  (This ought to accommodate traffic problems and problems resulting from not being able to locate an unfamiliar address.)  I suggest that if the hobbyist is more than 15 minutes late the session be reduced (without a reduction in compensation) by the amount of time exceeding 15 minutes that hobbyist is late.  If a provider is more than 15 minutes late then I suggest that the session be extended (at no additional charge) for the amount of time in excess of 15 minutes that the provider is late.

Turning to the problem of no-shows, there are occasionally legitimate reasons for a no-show.  The question arises of what compensation, if any, should be offered by both providers and hobbyists in the event of a no-show.  I once had to cancel a business trip and hence an appointment with a provider.  I was able to provide her with 48-hour notice.  Normally in such circumstances I would not feel compensation is appropriate as the provider had adequate time to re-schedule.   In this particular case I sent her a cancellation fee as another provider had arranged the appointment and I didn’t want to hurt the reputation of our mutual friend.  I would like to invite discussion about when and how much a hobbyist should compensate a provider when he fails to show.  I would also like to see a discussion about the same question regarding providers:  when and how should a provider compensate a hobbyist for a no-show.

As a corollary question is, how long should a hobbyist wait before declaring a session to be a no-show?   To start the discussion, may I propose 30-minutes unless the provider has contacted him informing him of her new arrival time.  May I also propose that if the hobbyist’s schedule does not permit an extension he should still after 30-minutes have the option of declaring the session a no-show and being eligible for compensation.

Another problem is how can hobbyists inform themselves about the punctuality of providers.  This, I think, is one of the purposes for which this board exists or ought to exist.  It is true that in many cases a review of prior threats contain information about providers with tardy/no-show problems.  However, this research is time consuming plus there is no guarantee the hobbyist will always find the information he is seeking.

May I propose staff add a spreadsheet like section to the reviews of providers.  Something like:

                                                            Provider’s Name
|---------------------------------------------------------------|
| Hobbyist |  Date  |Score|Minutes Tardy/No Show | Compensation |
|----------|--------|-----|----------------------|--------------|
|KissMe    |mm/dd/yy|  8  | 30 min+grace period  | extra 30 min |
|----------|--------|-----|----------------------|--------------|
|DonJuan   |mm/dd/yy | 7  | 15 min+grace period  | none         |
|---------------------------------------------------------------|

There are reasons that staff might want to limit postings to VIP members, and might also want to limit accessibility to VIP members.  I would suggest no credit towards a VIP membership be given for post to this section.

An added bonus to the new feature that I propose is that hobbyists would be able post a score for each session they have with a providers.  This might provider a good indicator about the consistency of a provider.  (I feel that one of the weaknesses of the present review system is that hobbyists are generally only allowed one post per provider.)

The purpose behind this very lengthy post is two fold:  first to initiate discussion regarding tardiness and no-shows issues, and second to offer some suggestions in these matters.  Your comments and opinions—-hopefully without flames—are sought.

Finally, this post may serve to learn who can--and who cannot-- discuss issues in a dispassionate, mature fashion with an eye towards finding solutions acceptable to all.

This is also a problem for the hobbists on the part of the providers.  I can't believe that so many and same ones have so much car problems, last minute emergencies,or other excuses for lateness or not getting to the appointment.

As in many of my reviews they all state that "she was late", they also continue with "as she advertises in her web site". I have never not shown up for an appointment and I have been late for many of my scheduled appointments. This may be a big down fall on my behalf but I know this to be a fact so I advertise that if there is a schedule that must be kept to either lie to me about the time they want to see me or plan for my arriving late. BUT I ALWAYS call to let the person know I am running late. This way there are no surprises when I am late. Now when I do offer incall being late is kinda hard since I am all ready there but many of times I have sat waiting for my appointment to show or call which I am not complaining about because I of all people know how it is and can be.

Last week I was no-showed by an independent in another city.  The date was set up several weeks ahead and confirmed less than a week ahead via e-mail.  She gave me her number and after arrivng in town (4 hrs. before our date) I repeatedly called her number which was always busy.  Sensing a problem, I sent her an e-mail 2 hrs. before our date time marked urgent with my cell #.  She never called.  Her phone was always busy.  The next day I sent her an e-mail stating my disappointment.  It has now been a week and I never heard back.  I guess I took one for the team but have no recourse--can't post a review for a session that didn't happen.  She does have 3 exceptional reviews on TER.

Of course I have less knowldege abot hobbyists being tardy or late being late than I do with the providers; however, I have no doubt this is also a problem.  The function of TER is to aid the hobbyist.  From what providers have told me I believe there are message boards exclusive available to providers where they can exchange information about hobbyists.  If not there ought to be as I think a full exchange of information by both providers and hobbyist ultimately improves the sport for all.

My $.02

My favorite provider is always late.  I have gotten used to it though, and now allow more time for it.  She is dependable otherwise, and always makes me forget that she was late, so I don't mind.  If she wasn't so damn good it might be a different story.

No Shows/Cancellations

1) I request 24 hours notice if a "special friend" needs to cancel a meeting. Emergencies are always understood.
2) If it is 30 minutes past the appointment time, I call and ask if there was some confusion. At this point I consider it a no show.
3)If they flat out stand me up, with no good excuse then I don't want their money. I will never schedule with them again though. This has happened a few times, but really is not very common.
4) If they have a good reason and are sincerely apologize, then I forgive and forget the first time and allow them one more chance.  Again, I don't ask for compensation.

I have been guilty of a "no show" myself on ONE occasion.  It was an emergency and I didn't have a way to get to my contact information to notify him.  When I finally did get the information and explained the situation, he was very nice and came back for a free date the next week. I feel that it is times like this that we need to use good business etiquette.

Emergencies and cancellations with good reasons happen to everyone occasionally.  I don't ever ask for money in these situations.  If I have done something wrong then I offer discounts, extra time, or as in the "no show" a free session.

If everything is handled appropriately, I don't really think it's necessary to include that in a review.  I think it could be confusing or misinterpreted.  I do think it should be told about if it is not handled appropriately though.  Just my thoughts...
Kelly FunHoustonDate

Kelly, very classy.  I just wish I was able to get to Houston to meet you.