Yes, another review thread, if you are sick of the topic please skip, and also beware, I tend to write too friggin’ much.     First the confession:  I thought that just with the info on a lady’s website, the general review and may be some other reviews on other sites, it would be enough.  Frankly,  I did not want to have VIP access, because among other things my effing Ego, I did not want to read the full reviews to find out that while the gal had to reach for her lube, because I could not even get her wet, every other guy made her O 15 times.   I got over that a few weeks ago and I had meant to join but just had not gotten around it.    To my surprise, after writing a second review, I received temporary status.

I have had 6 TER/P411 dates since becoming aware of the fact that there were much easier ways to do what I had been doing (dumbass!).   Two were with great ladies, two were alright and two were what I would consider total disasters (would not have been interested even if it were free).    I had been beating myself up thinking that if I had VIP access, I would not have requested those two appointments.   Well, to my chagrin, had I had VIP access at the time, I would have screwed-up anyway!      

Both ladies have consistently high scores, one with 10 reviews and the other one with 40 reviews (their average consolidated scores are in the mid 8s).   Each of them had just one bad review, a review that stood out like a swore-thumb.    Any objective person would look at the bad reviews and think “the other 9 guys are right, or the other 39 guys are right, the 1 bad reviewer in each case just happens to be an asshole.”      My shock was that in each case, I read the bad review and it could have been written by me, minus a few thousand words, each was completely in sync with what I thought about the experience!   For the sake of full disclosure, I should note that the lady with the 40 reviews had not been reviewed in several months, I now believe that perhaps the lack of recent reviews should have tipped me off that something was wrong.    

Now, I will get flak for not reviewing the ladies in question, and I understand that, but when I found TER my intention was not to write reviews.    First, I believe that some things should stay private, second I don’t like the feeling of putting a number on another human being, and third, there is the fear factor, if you screw with someone’s ability to make a living, there might be some blowback.  On the latter concern, based on what has happened on some of the Regional Boards, I see that it is a very valid concern.   The decision that I have come to is that I will review ladies that are truly outstanding, because excellence should be recognized.

Geez, I could not believe that one of the ladies had 39 guys stating that she was “really hot” or “model material.”    Trust me, I am not a hard ass who thinks only one type of woman can be “really hot” or “model material” and I also realize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but there is simply no way that this lady was anywhere near hot in the looks department.   At the very best, she was an average-looking woman.  What is even worse is that the photos on her website may have been of her, 10 years ago, before she left herself go, but save for the one bad review, not a single person mentioned that.    The other lady also had the 8s and 9s for looks, but I don’t see how an objective person could have scored it that way.   While the looks are one thing, my real beef was with the performance and personalities, something even more subjective, but the two guys with the out of place reviews were spot on.

How can this happen?   Three thoughts:

1) There are guys who are so grateful to get laid, that even if they pay for it, they lose their mind and objectivity;

2) May be the guys mirror their own attractiveness and performance in the sense that if the guy is a 6 and he meet ups with a 6, which would be about right in IRL, the 6 becomes a 10 because that is about as good as it gets for him IRL;

3) Now that I realize that you can get VIP membership by writing reviews, perhaps some guys just feel they have to write a review to get their 15 days, but they can’t bring themselves to be  honest, so they just keep following the herd, they keep scoring the same way they have seen others scores (shit, I see that there are ladies who almost exclusively have 10s, I would hate to be the poor bastard who dares to bring that down a notch or two).

I will sign-up for TER when my free trial is over, it is a very useful tool once you realize how to use it, but for goodness’ sakes guys, don’t just review for the sake of reviewing!    If the experience is substandard and you are afraid to say so, then just don’t review, but don’t validate information that is not true.    Those high scores you are incorrectly giving are robbing business from the ladies who truly offer 8, 9 and 10 experiences and they are permitting the substandard ladies to take another $500 to $1000 from another poor sucker.  
   
In my case, if the experience is bad, the loss of the money is not what pisses me off so much, it is the loss of the opportunity, I get may be 10 shots at playing around in a year and if I waste a couple of opportunities, it really sucks.    Anyway, my take away lessons are to backchannel, pay attention to the bad reviews, because the guy who might seem like an asshole may be the only one telling the truth and beware of situations in which a lady has not received any reviews in the last few months.

There is a fourth lesson, and I obviously did not follow it here, spare the rest of you and stop writing so much!  Shit, I now realize that even my reviews are mini-novels compared to the norm (hey, Courtney, if by chance you read this diatribe, you should have told me to cut that shit out, if I ever wrote another review )

Y’all have a good weekend, some great college football games to look forward to

and probably for the same reasons as you.

As for the OP, although he is yet another poster that appears to get paid "by the word" I find myself agreeing with just about everything he said, although he said so much I am sure there is at least something on which we disagree. I am just too lazy to go back and reread a post that long. lol

but alas, I found myself agreeing with a lot more of it than I disagreed with. I too wish that the TER review process was more bare bones. If it were, I would be much more likely to write them, but I am NOT going to write something that has to look like a letter to Penthouse in order to get it approved.

OTOH, reviews are quite helpful once you learn to read between the lines, or in the case of "She came 23 times before we even got down to business"  not read those parts at all. All I really care about is whether or not the pics are accurate, did she actually show up/answer the door, what is on the menu, and something about her overall attitude. Quite frankly I DO NOT trust a strangers dick where it comes to whether or not I will find her hot, or even attractive. It's been proven to be beyond a shadow of a doubt that many "hobbyists" have ZERO standards, and their 10 could easily be my 6, or in some cases even worse.

but good luck back channeling if you don't.

I think he needs a lot of encouragement, encouraged to jump off of a tall building that is. lmao

but yes, I do agree with your point about only Back Channeling with known members.

And have no problems back channeling.  

Maybe it's due to my board postings?  

Yes, I alluded to that in another thread, and I certainly understand it if it goes that way.

I think that I have to have this one inscribed somewhere, it is awesome:

"In short, the moral of the story is: if you think your dick makes bad choices sometimes, why would you trust a stranger's dick to do the choosing for you?"

I also concur with you that the system should rely a lot more on the more objective issues and leave aside the numbers, I would feel comfortable with that.   Having acknowledged all of that, realizing that our experiences are highly personal, that tastes are different, please trust me when I tell you that these ladies were not 8s and 9s unless these guys had been holed up in a cave for 10 years.   One of them really might have been her years ago, but the body in her website had a distant relationship to the one I saw and 1 out of 39 mentioned it?

END OF MESSAGE

Great response Alyson! Maybe I've been lucky, but I haven't had any big surprises so far when meeting providers. I would like to ask the original poster...after all that you wrote and elaborated on, what do you suggest for yourself going forward? I doubt the problem will resolve itself. Reviewers will continue to do what you previously stated. So, how will you select any differently

Getting pm's from guys with aliases or no reviews. When I ask the alias boys to pm me from their review handle I never ever hear back. If you have no reviews I ain't gonna help. You could be her ex for all I know.  

And that's probably right but it makes the same point, I'm not going to respond to a PM about someone I've seen unless I can see reviews he's written or otherwise get some sense of who he is, such as through board postings. I'm not about to inadvertently encourage someone like that budding serial killer andrewwwwww or whatever the fuck his handle is to see someone I've seen.

Well done! I myself ignore the ratings (except for total rip off) and I read the reviews to try to get a sense if the lady's likes and dislikes are similar to my own...I certainly don't expect that I can make her come as many times as another reviewer did...some reviewers are just sex machines that way and I simply cannot compete!

Well, my post had the three lessons that I have taken away, but I don't blame you if you did not see them, in the midst of all those words.   Frankly, I am surprised anybody read that book.

1)  Backchannel (I have been participating more and I will write some reviews)
2)  Make sure that the reviews are recent (probably want reviews within the past month or two and no further out than that))
3)  Don't assume that a review that seems out of place necessarily implies that guy is an asshole (try to contact him, see if he has any posts on TER, look at his other reviews to make sure that he is not a habitual complainer)

BTW, I agree with Alyson and GaG, I don't want other guys to make the decision for me, that is not where I was going.  In the end, remember I made those two appointments without having full access to TER, I was just quite a bit surprised that I would have made the same choices and that my opinions on looks and performance would be so divergent from what nearly 50 guys stated.   I know I keep making this point, but it is true, I am a reasonable guy, I am not demanding and I probably find a wider variety of women attractive than most, I am not stuck on weight, height, proportions we see in magazines, etc.

Absolutely!

I respect the system, it has helped my decision making process of who to see. I also appreciate that it is a boost to the lady's marketing efforts and if she took good care of me the very least I can do for her is write a review.

I'm a member of your group 2, I'm not a good looking man, I don't think I'm ugly but none of the ladies that I've seen in the hobby would have given me a second look IRL. This means that I've never had the opportunity to be with women this beautiful, much less have sex with women this beautiful. So perhaps my looks rating of the ladies I've seen are higher than a guy who has been with civie women who are comparable to them. Other than my college GF, I've never been with women that are such sexual dynamo as most of the providers I've been with are.

As for the TER VIP free days, c'mon man it's $25/month, if $25 is an issue for you, then you should find another hobby. I have never been motivated by the free days for writing a review, in fact I didn't even know we got free days for writing a review until a few months ago, I've participated in a few problem reports and I got 2 days credit for submitting them, but all that does is move back the day that my monthly membership renews. I don't care one ounce about free days, it's $25 damn dollars man.

I have been with a few providers who don't want reviews, I don't know why they don't want reviews but I respect their wishes. One of the providers who has asked me not to review,  I've been seeing fairly regularly, she is fucking outstanding in every way I'd love to write a review for her.

-- Modified on 11/14/2014 6:34:09 AM

All reviews should be consider YMMV. If my breath stinks I would want the provider to hand me a toothbrush and tell me to go freshen up if I wanted to continue to DFK. If you take away the menu and reviews all you have left is her stats and advertisements.  

Do you really expect guys to come hand over 1K on the off chance that you are really going to give him a GFE. Sure some will, but most will not hand over that much on the chance she tells them they get a CBJ, one position, and kicks him out after he finishes. She might tell them all they get for that is her sitting there smiling for an hour.  

Your reviews and reputation is what allows you to charge the rate you do, stay in business, and be selective of the clientele you see. Don’t matter if that is here on TER or through word of mouth.  

Verification sites would not exists or become extremely unsafe because membership is based on a providers reputation.  

How would you know that the references a client is giving you that is coming through town is from a reputable provider?  

It’s just funny that the very site that has allowed women to double, triple, or even more her hourly rate, become safer, more selective of their clientele because of how it’s designed with reviews, services, top rated listing, and ratings and yet that want to change all that

Got rope???

I wonder how Deb is doing? lmao

I'm sure all of your farts are wet ones! How's CeCe?

For that croc bridge

i started to read it but it was so long i had to fart..

And I'm not anti-alias at all.  But I'm only going to give info about girls I've seen to handles I know and respect, and who are connected to reviews.  Why would I send an unknown and possibly dangerous guy to a woman I've seen?

I write the first draft the same day or the next at most...  then I let it sit.  I might reread once or twice & even edit.  But I don't submitt until a few weeks have passed.  I particularly look at whether I am being fair.  Sometimes it's her, sometimes me, sometimes both.  If anything I should have been more harsh in my early reviews.

and everyone else is wrong!

Seriously though... reviews reflect real world perceptions as well as the crap of manipulation and coercion. If you bother to statistically look at review scores for a few ladies (yes, I have! out of curiosity about assertions like yours), you would see that.  

I looked at 20 providers chosen from the top 100 lists for 6 large cities. All had 30+ reviews. Every set of appearance data for every lady was skewed negatively to some degree, reflecting a few lower scores (usually early in their careers, or preceeding/following a gap in reviews), and essentially all data fit the model distribution. Outliers (ALWAYS LOW scores) that did not fit the distribution stood out like the proverbial sore thumbs. Those are asshole reviewers. To be fair, it is statistically nearly impossible for anyone to have all 10's (no distribution of data at all) so go there for allegations of review manipulation.

Consider that a provider I have seen and reviewed as a 9 was seen by another guy. I got a PM saying she would be a 9 except for some stretch marks (which I considered trivial), and he scored her a 6 for THAT REASON ALONE. His score remains as a statistical outlier, not because she was not model hot, but because any hint of a stretch mark made 1 dude hysterical. Can that be predicted? What about moles? Maybe nostril size is someone's personal turnoff? Who the f*ck knows.

I will also point out that in many studies of female attractiveness on a 1-10 scale, men consistently ranked ALL women at 5 or above. We are genetically hardwired to see an available female as attractive - usually as more attractive than she might actually be. We ain't picky about spreading our seed. Sadly, women are hardwired the exact opposite way - the same studies say they tend to see 80% of guys as unattractive. They are picky about the seed they prefer.  

Not trying to rag on you here, but you need to consider whether your perception is right or whether there is something about your tastes that is different from the norm.  

As for reviews, just remember that they are indeed representative in most cases (and now you know in which cases they might not be) and can be a good indicator (not the only answer) of how you might perceive a provider. Without VIP, reviews are worthless... the free general section is a tease and a loss leader. Feel free to write them yourself or not.  

There is one thing I've learned in this world and real life: Every experience is in great part what I make it. No one else is responsible for me making the most of where I am and what I am doing and whoever I am doing it with. I can make an experience someone else despised great, or appreciate the beauty in a woman someone else thought was heinous. That is really the ONLY problem with relying on reviews, and I can beat it nearly every time.  

Sorry for rambling gang, but I am sick of the "I disagree with your review of her appearance" threads

I use my alias just to flirt with hot men here. Yup,  I'm a flaming homo. I feel a connection between you, me, and nick. Could you bend over for me real quick? It won't take long,  I promise.  

you could at least spell it right. Then again, Wu has also accused my alter ego, Conan The Grammarian, of being a pedantic putz.  But, come on, doesn't your computer/smart phone have spell check?
Anyway, who gives a shit what that semi-celestial-Sicilian thinks

Ok, dude, think about it. You've got a bunch of guys paying to hang with, and possibly fuck, a woman. Some of us are married and like a relatively safe way to get variety. Some of us could get women easy but don't like the work or the drama that comes with a 'real' relationship. Some of us are just goal oriented; Why waste time wooing some chick into bed when you can just make a call? But many of us are sort of semi-losers who are willing to pay for the brief fantasy that we are studs. Part of that fantasy -- extended past the appointment time -- is the demonstration of chivalry. So, yea, she wasn't that great. But she is a struggling young businesswoman and it makes us feel good to write her a nice review. Or, OK, she was a bit chubby and had nasty saggy boobs and a thin spot of hair on the top back of her head from too much cheap dye and hair curler/dryer/whatever shit. But that makes us feel all the more sorry for her. Didn't your grandma ever tell you that if you couldn't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all? Well, not saying anything at all doesn't extend the fantasy or get VIP.  

So deal with it. This is a site for Johns, but also *by* Johns. This is how I use this site:

1) See who has lots of reviews. Lots of reviews means lots of clients. OK, yea, that's kind of skeezy. But it also likely means lots of satisfied customers. I surf the popular girl ads, see if their photos excite me, and decide to book or not. When looking at photos, I look for the *ugliest* one, because that's most likely closest to reality. I don't read all the crap the girls put on their webpage. This is not dating. We don't need to be emotionally compatible.

2) Come across an ad I like. In the past, I used to take a lot for the team, and post reviews. I am too lazy for that now, but I still like the excitement of finding some undiscovered gem. So, yea, I'll troll BP or wherever. If I find someone I like, I'll check TER for a ripoff report or something. That's stopped me from a few bad decisions. But generally, in cases where I'm dealing with the unknown, I just get extra cautious. Any red flag and I'm out of there. I have been at the door in front of an incall, got a sudden bad vibe, and canceled. In those cases, I later let her honestly know why, and so far have never had anyone freak out angry. They like to be careful; I like to be careful. We're on the same page. I have had a few wonderful subsequent dates with some of those girls.

So, anyway, yea.... This site is a fine resource. But don't get too caught up in the details of the reviews. Remember who the authors are

Yea, once I was chatting with a girl on these boards and a guy PMs me to warn me against it. He said she was loony and a 6 in looks at best. Said to definitely stay away.

But you know what? I booked her anyway. I thought she had the most mesmerizing blue eyes and great personality, and it was one of the most fun memorable sessions I've had in my life, even though we never even had sex. We exchanged real names and stuff, sort of stayed in touch, and it seemed like a nice sort of almost friendship until she stopped talking. We're both married. Maybe I got too creepy. Maybe I was not worth her time. Whatever. I don't actually know what the deal was. Anyway, now she won't talk to me anymore. C'est la vie.

You never know who you're going to meet, until you meet them. Be bold. Be adventurous

END OF MESSAGE

Between the ladies' photos, review scores, and written reviews, there is plenty of information for guys to make well-informed decisions.  Will it work out every time?  No, but then again everyone doesn't agree about restaurants or other things either, do we?

I really don't get the hand-wringing about this stuff.  When I see photos of a lady who gets mostly 10s for looks but who doesn't float my boat, I spend all of 2 seconds thinking, "hmmm, that's interesting, guess I just have different taste" before moving on to the next ad.  I don't sit around contemplating the great mystery of why I may find others' 10s to be a 7, or why some 10s in my eyes might only be an 8 in others.  Who cares?  I don't need others to validate my opinions in either case!  

Also, FWIW, and along the same lines as my point above, looks ratings are naturally biased because they are GIVEN by guys who found the photos of the lady hot enough IN THE FIRST PLACE to want to pay her beaucoup $$$ to be with her.  MOST guys don't go see ladies if they don't find the photos attractive.  So NO guy who didn't find her hot enough for a date got a vote in her current appearance rating.

TER reviews are tremendously helpful.  And yeah, we all have different styles and value things differently.  But who the fuck cares?  You learn from experience how best to mine all the available info to make good choices.  Whining about others' reviews or opinions seems a little small-minded to me.  Improve self-awareness about what is most important TO YOU and try to learn from the mistakes of bad choices to minimize the chances of future bad experiences (what clues did you miss from other reviews, etc.).  But despite all that, there still are going to be mediocre experiences - just like poor meals at restaurants that may have had 5 star reviews.  That's life. Accept it and move on.

Some guys simply have no standards, it's a simple as that. Now I am not talking about having "different" standards, I am talking about not having any standards at all. That's the only way that some of the pigs, and we have all seen them at one time or another, could ever get a ten,  even from Stevie Wonder. lol

Yes, there are many cases where it's just a matter of taste, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that crap, I get all that. Sometimes I read reviews and even after looking at the photo shopped glam pics, come away thinking "that woman is a five at BEST" yet see scores no less than 8's and some even with 10s. The only explanation other than short term insanity is that these guys are so desperate to find a woman that will be nice to them, that all reason and standards go out the fucking window. I quit stressing about this long ago, but I haven't trusted the ratings of "strangers dicks" where it comes to appearance for many years now, and couple that with the outright manipulation caused by the "top" lists and you have what we have now, a broken system.

to make a good choice? - which for appearance would be photos and reviews stating if the photos are accurate or not?
I'm so glad I started this hobby in the era of reviews - what a complete crapshoot this must have been before this.
Any weaknesses of the current system just seem so minor to me, as I generally get all the info I need to make a smart choice - and that's what it's all about to me.

and I doubt any review system of any kind will ever be 100%, not when taste of any kind is involved. Some people simply have higher standards than others, whether that be in food, drink, hotels or pussy.

I guess it must be nice to be as easily satisfied as some of the guys here. Anyone woman that will get naked with them merits a ten in their opinion, no matter how old, how fat, or how unattractive she might appear to any discerning eye. Yes, I do envy these guys some times, but I wouldn't want to be them. I'll stick with fucking hotties TYVM

but back to your point. Yes, what we have now beats the hell out of what we had pre internet. Of course review boards are hardly necessary in countries where this is legal. About half of my whore mongering is done where I can meet my lady of choice, see what she looks like, and even ask EXACTLY what is on the menu before ever committing to a dime. or a colone, or a peso, lol

Could you bend over for me too? I promise you'll enjoy it.  

But I am glad that others have different standards - or as you say, even "no" - standards lol - perhaps it lessens somewhat the demand for the ladies that I like to visit.  And so much of arousal is just a mind game anyway.  Perhaps some guys who are 5s themselves just feel more comfortable with ladies closer to their level, less intimidating.  And if they have a great vibe together then I have no doubt the sex is good and the lady can then become a beauty queen in his mind.  And hell, even IF he could still admit the lady was below average in looks, if he plans on seeing her again there is really no plus side to giving her a below average appearance score (something less than 7).

But fortunately I don't have this problem of intimidation.  Even if I am a bit on the reserved side by nature - I have no problem just being myself with anyone I meet.  Soooo, bring on all the lovelies...

END OF MESSAGE

Since I am not, no, I would not enjoy it.  I don't even like it when a hot hooker tries to give me a prostate massage.  Sorry, you'll just have to try your luck with JCA.

I think we can all agree that the real 9's and 10's are not really the women in the highest demand here. Most of the guys here seem to prefer members of the OTHFBC, which does leave the field wide open for you and me to see the young hotties.

So I guess I should "quit my bitching" and enjoy the lovelies that have plenty of time to see the likes of you and me as so many of the other guys are off chasing fuglies. Lmao

Thanks for making me see the bright side to all of this.