You're dealing with human beings, women no less.

If you want to play the 100% honest game be prepared for the repurcussions:  providers who don't want to see you.

This is a client's hobby and a provider's business.
Of course providers are going to protect their interests.  Very few are invested in 'honesty and accuracy for the good of TER'.  

The best review system is one that providers aren't privy to.

Second of all you've missed the point entirely.

If a client every wants to see a 100% honest review?

It has to be one that the reviewer didn't write with the knowledge that the provider in question would see it.

It's not supernatural.

TER's major systemic flaw is that it encouraged provider participation.

A rebuttal system or reverse review system would be counterproductive to the provider.  Telling a fat lazy fuck that he received a muted performance because he's a fat lazy fuck with bad breath in a rebuttal?  Now tell me, who exactly would benefit from that?  The fat lazy fuck would just withdraw his $$$ and become an anti-hooker recluse.

Clients don't pay to get criticized.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate TER having let me scream until my voice was horse over fucked up reviews until they were removed...I just can't honestly say that my shrill cries or that of other providers is ultimately beneficial to the review system.  As it stands you have a system easily manipulated and a lot of clients who are largely starting to devalue and disregard the system.  I've heard more and  more clients say lately that the reviews are such inflated nonsense they don't even consider them at all beyond establishing whether the provider they're interested in exists.

I have to agree. I started looking at some of his reviews and wondered a few times, "why did he want to see this lady". Something doesn't add up.

your posts in its entirety.
You are 100% correct in your summation.

Crap, and double crap to just about everything you just said.

First off, there is in fact another review site that adamantly refuses providers acess to their full review. Its not even half the size of this site. Want to know why? Most providers (like myself) told them to f/k themselves. I won't participate in a site that makes money off of ME, and refuses me access to my own reviews. They are about ME after all. I earned them, I damned well deserve to know what they say.

TER's major SUCCESS is that it has encouraged provider participation. Notice how rife the boards are with participation from ladies? That isn't an accident. I'll give you the web adress for one of the other review sites. Its dead. The discussion boards are nowhere near as active, and the frequency of new reviews much less than TER. You have it exactly backwards.

I agree that any sort of rebuttal system would be a total waste of time, and I am quite confident that TER will never attempt such a trainwreck. The new format was trainwreck enough. But that doesn't mean there isn't value in responding to provider complaints about reviews they believe are false. In all honesty, I've seen girls crying "fake review!" when I'd lay money they saw the guy and just didn't like what he had to say. To date, I have had 4 reviews removed. Three were flagrantly false, and one turned out to be a genuine review, but attributed to me in error. Of the three false ones, only one was unflattering. The other two were very positive. They just happened to be very fake as well, so I asked that they be taken down.

The REAL solution here, and I continue to be ASTOUNDED by the men who can't grasp this is - DON'T SHARE YOUR REVIEWER HANDLE WITH THE PROVIDER! This is not rocket science! There are two things that just don't mix - personal information, and reviewer information. Share one or the other, but not both. Some men say their review history alone is sufficient for screening with the ladies they see. Fine. Then don't give your personal info at the same time. Also, be prepared to accept that some women will refuse to see you if your reviews are not glowing enough for them. Problem solved.

If guys would just keep their mouths shut about their reviewer handles, they would not have these problems. How hard is that?

I posted on another thread but will start a dedicated one on this.  I just received veiled threats from a provider for whom I posted an honest but less than positive review.  In the review, I tried to point out good qualities, but I felt that it was important to be frank about overall appearance and body.  To make a long story short, she suggested I have the review removed and mentioned both my home town and her premium membership in intellus.com.  Since I did post it late, I have had it pulled.

Not long ago, a fairly high end, rated provider refused to see me because of negative comments she received from another provider in my review list.  This was bad enough, but that other provider even intimated that I had been with "diseased" providers.  Knowing the high end crowd this prospective provider hangs with, I'm pretty sure who these comments came from.  (It likely involved a surprisingly less than satisfying experience I'd had with a provider in the top 100 list.  When she read my honest review, I received a bawling, mildly hysterical voice mail from her.)

Lastly, one provider refused to see me based on my prior reviews.  She has very high ratings, and I believe she was apprehensive that I might lower her averages.  

Although I truly believe it is important to be honest and accurate for the good of the TER community, this sort of thing tends to put a real pall on it.  Perhaps that's one reason we see so many reviewers rating every provider they see as "One in a lifetime".  Since I'm still relatively new in the hobby, any suggestions would be appreciated.

25 reviews is not that new. However we hear more and more of this and it is very disturbing.  My advise is to get at least 2 ATF that will vouch for you and let your reviews speak for themselves.

Thank you for your honesty; it helps us all

that this place, or a review system, even exists.

Or, you can opt not to provide your TER handle as a part of your screening portfolio.

But, yes, the phenomenon you describe certainly happens. And is more likely to happen with the most highly reviewed providers - the ones who are all 9s and 10s.  Some of them really earn these "marks". Others avoid getting lower scores in the manner you describe.

I for one feel a lot better about seeing a provider who has generally high marks, even a lot of 9s and 10s, but who has a few 8s and 7s here and there....

While that is very disheartening, there is the other side of the review system that providers have to deal with. Pissed off men who ask for off menu items and when refused, post crappy reviews. The review system is flawed but it's the only one that exists. How to correct this is anybody's clue.  

When reviews are held as high as they are, both sides suffer sometimes The guys because they feel they can't be honest enough without getting some repercussion, and the ladies for loss of revenue. I have no solution to this problem except to do what the guys suggest to us...move on and get over it.

What they don't know can't hurt me. Not that I've had to do a negative review yet, but if the day comes I don't want the kind of problems you're having.

That might be the case but we ladies generally know who reviews us...we remember the session and unless you are writing about something that didn't happen to throw us off, we know even if it's weeks after the fact. Those gory details work to our advantage too.

Unless the provider that was reviewed puts out an alert, other providers I'm trying to schedule with won't know about the review, won't know I've seen her, and won't be able to talk to her and be fed BS.

..."The best review system is one that providers aren't privy to."...


Interesting...so a man can destroy a woman's livelihood because she wouldn't do something he wanted but knew she didn't do? Nice one there. If anything there should be a rebuttal system, but that would seem too fair and crappy bullshit reviewers would have to clean up their act. It's not bad enough that we have to be reviewed, we then can't see what Joe Shmoe writes...true or not? Keep wishing..it might happen and then when the ladies get really pissed off and most pull their reviews and want to be de-listed, what will you do then?

The system is flawed..everyone knows that but to roll over so far to one side is crazy...monger board or not, without the opportunity to review us, there would be no TER as we know it ...or it would become a sausage fest.

Sorry...got my posts mixed up. You have a point but if it gets out in the long run, things like that are duly noted and can be mentioned in references and if a guy is particularly bad...he gets mentioned on one of our boards that literally thousands of ladies are privy to all over the US, Canada and Europe.

-- Modified on 9/14/2010 3:31:07 PM

Will the provider in question post in the private area, link their review handle to their P411/DC/RS2K id, and say what exactly? He hit me? He was rude? He wrote a bad review? He's been with diseased providers? Just make up stuff? Do you take it at face value?

Yes I do see your point. How do you address the fake, misleading and damaging reviews put up by men who did so out of spite/retaliation? I guess you do what we have all done at one time or another...freaked out until someone in admin listened and it was on our shoulders to prove it was fake.

If my dollars were being impacted by the man you described, you can bet your ass I would rebut if I had to withhold services due to hygiene...roughness or any other thing other than physical appearance that made my scores drop due to no fault of my own. Who cares if he slinks away...maybe it's the wake up call he needs to clean up his act. There's criticism and the truth. If he can't handle the truth...not my problem...especially if it impacts my ability to do business.

Well same goes for a review of a provider...do you guys take the reviews at face value for the most part?

In addition, if more than one lady can confirm something that I find unacceptable, I do tend to believe and heed the warnings.

Obviously some people don't take reviews seriously and some take them far too seriously. A lot of us have very different points of view about their purpose and relative benefits to clients and providers. Some of us feel they are appallingly dehumanizing and others feel they are necessary to maintaining some semblance of quality control. Or both.

This is strange country we're walking, folks.

They're inflated for the most part, and if somebody has a beef with a provider it's often obvious and doesn't necessarily deter me from seeing her. It's only if I see a pattern of bad reviews that I start worrying.

I took the opportunity to filter through your review list & as a provider, I must say, I would be skeptical at best. For someone who supposedly does his homework so well, you sure seem to have a lot of disappointing experiences. I would wonder if you really know what you want to begin with. You claim to see highly reviewed providers. I found several that had only 1, 2, & even ZERO reviews. On a couple you complained about them being heavier. Checking into their ads their pics obviously depict them as such. One of them, you'd have to be fall down drunk to not see she is quite large. Hmmmmm.....perhaps you are one of those "closet" BBW lovers, who gets the guilts later & must publicly save face? Then there's the fact, you have 25 reviews in you short career, (congrats on your free annual membership) & Never been white listed?! Caution tape is in the mail.

In fairness to both sides, I wish to point out that providers already have any number of national, regional and even local black lists for clients. Some of these lists, clients don't even know exist and they can be put on without their knowledge, without even knowing what was there, and with no chance of rebuttal or correction.

I have taken a look at what is public on the national black list and I am quite frankly appalled. If the lists I do not know about are anything like that, they are an abomination.

At least a guy *knows* he has made the NBL, even though there is no way to remove himself or correct data.

But what is most appalling is that this list publicly outs clients for the world to see -- employers, spouses, etc. -- AND SOME providers ROUTINELY do this to men -- not just for legitimate reasons such as violence -- but for things such as NCNS. When I last looked in my region, fully half of the outings of hobbyists on the main page were for NCNS.

Can you IMAGINE providers being publicly outed over NCNS? You are on your way to his hotel when your car gets a flat tire. It's raining out, you go to try to change it and the rain damages your cell phone so you can't call. By the time you get home there's a message on your answering machine from your father disinheriting you because the guy did to you just as a provider once did to him when he got a flat tire in a zone with bad cell coverage: published your full real name, address and phone number for all to see.

This demonstrates quite conclusively that SOME providers have no better sense of justice, proportionality or even common sense than SOME hobbyists. Many INDIVIDUAL providers are quite solid, just as many INDIVIDUAL hobbyists are quite solid. But one look at the national black list demonstrates pretty conclusively what happens when a tool is turned loose in the hands of one side of the equation that cannot ever be questioned or changed by the other half of the equation.

Do you think a similar situation for hobbyists-only would be any better? Don't you think there are some hobbyists out there who are so narrowly focused that they would destroy a woman's career over a single NCNS or something similarly disproportionate?

Yes, a situation like TER where both sides see the reviews can create serious problems with threatened blackmail on one side, and threatened bad reviews on the other.

HOWEVER, because both sides can see the reviews, and at least to SOME extent it is possible to have fake or seriously erroneous reviews removed and a malefactor kicked off; there is at least a potential for justice.

Yes, it diminishes honesty on the one hand; but it increases honesty on the other hand by requiring at least some level of accountability.

No system is perfect.

By disallowing providers to see reviews; they would be more honest in some ways, but likely less honest in others.

That is, of course, based on my assumption that in terms of good-bad; there is no real moral difference between hobbyists and providers.

How do men like me address the blacklist sites that they can not see or participate in? Often they don't because they can't. Many men do not even know they been blacklisted yet they are turned down because of it. It is possible for a lady to make it very hard to see a non Backpage provider if he is new and don't have some ATF go to bat for him so to speak. Heck they can't even look up to see if they been blacklisted and by who. Please do not say ladies never blacklist for spite and/or retaliation as every one here should know better. It happens all the time. At the same time I think these provider only blacklist sites are important as they help protect you ladies from truly bad men yet do not deter men from seeing you, and I would not change the way they work even if I could. You yourself have stated you use them to screen your clients. A provider-less review board that works something like the blacklist sites that a lady could not get delisted from could give us guys the same protection the blacklist site afford you ladies as there are some downright dangerous fake providers out there. I see how such a review site would be abused as I know that provider blacklist sites are abused from time to time, but the site would have its ligament uses. I also see the benefit of a rebuttal system you talked about in anther post would be useful as It would give us men an opportunity to learn why the service varied from ones normal level. Please note I like TER the way it is and am not saying it should change nor would I change it if I could. I am just saying other kinds of review sites also have there place and a provider free review site would also be useful as well. I use more than one review site because of there differences in them even though TER is by far the best one in my area. There is no perfect review system, that is why I use other review site and see the benefit a provider-less review system could provide.

There is way to many reasons to lie. To name a few reasons a review may not be exactly honest like free VIP, fake one's own review, discounts and other bribes, fear of reprisal, revenge, personal relationship and there are many more. Reviews are only part of my screening process and no were near the most important one. My screening process has only let me down once and ti was because I rushed it and only spent a half my normal time gathering information as I always dreamed of doing a beauty pageant winner only for the red flags to show up a few days after the bad date. And her reviews were all excellent except the one I gave her. Little head was doing the thinking. Please note I am not saying that reviews are not important tool in screening as they are. I just don't take them as the gold standard of screening as there is to many falsified reviews to go just on them and not every quality providers has them. My best sessions has been with ladies with few or no reviews because they are new to the business or don't want them. Damn TER review rules would only let me give a 7 on performance to the best session I ever had because of services offered as she played safe and I didn't know if she DFK as it in not on my menu. I reserve DFK for my wife. I do know her doubles partner and mentor does not allow for DFK and she follows her lead. Caps on how high you can rate a session is anther reason to question the performance score on reviews.

I have a couple of reviews that I don't so much agree with, but in all honesty it is in the eye of the hobbyist.... One guy says I am not as pretty as my pic's then the next says I am prettier than my pics... Confuse me.... Lol....  The thing is why get mad over an opinion... I would rather somebody be honest so you can get a feel for the real me.... Like I don't dress up or wear make-up, so I would hate for a fella to say i did in a review... "She showed up in her sweatpants" Oh yes I did!!! Lol.. That doesn't happen often but it has... I always ask 1st if the fella minds...

Honesty is the best policy so you all know what you are getting...  Some ladies are just don't understand.. Not everybody will think I am great, I know that... If you read my reviews before hand you should think i'm great... But if not hey, it's okay... Sometimes the chemistry is off... Or whatever the case may be...

So suggestion is to write an honest review.... Always... Use a hobby phone and email so nobody can find the real you... And if a provider threatens your personal life report it to the other fella's so they will know to run!!!

Thanks!!! Just saying it is all a matter of opinion!!! Common sense.....

Regardless of whether a client gives out a handle or not: low ballers and reviewer outliers will always be found out.

Now while you're preoccupied with the success of the discussion boards and willing to attribute some of that success to female participation I'll see you one and say that the board success here is just a byproduct of TER having the most extensive database out of all review sites.

In terms of other sites that don't allow provider participation, well just because you provide a service doesn't mean that review sites have to be fair and give you access.  Information is free and unregulated...clients can get on the internet and say whatever they want to say about providers with little to no regulation.  That TER has taken the high road ensures that we're not a liability and won't compromise their fiscal success.  

I don't agree with your opinion...you say "crap", I say to-mato.

I feel the top 100 will create more problems because the girl on there will do anything to stay on that list. I rather meet girls who are not on the list.

but by searching via email address.  Do a search yourself with just the email you use to contact providers.  Some might be pissed that I am saying this but I believe the info is already out there so....  

For the record, a few things said here are off target.  

1)The most GFE provider in the world is still likely to get a few not so great #'s.  Why, because we are all only human and not robots.  None of us can be everything to everyone, someone some where is not going to like the style we do things, or the way we conversate.   That is all the more proving a true GFE, because can ANY of you every remember having a GF that was peachy ceen all the time?  One that didn't ask you for help, or get sick, have issues with friends that contributed to the mood.   We are them, and we have the same issues but yet most of the time we are able to push past difficulties in our life to provide the very best of ourselves for you to partake.  We might be dealing with death in our family, the loosing of our children who are grown and making wrong choices, friends who are not taking care of their health, and so many other things that might be about to bring on tears at any moment.  Do not forget the human side of this, else you want to be treated in like.

2)I like many do not CARE what you did with someone else.  I have been asked by men to read their reviews so I know what they like.  I personally don't work that way.  Why?  I don't want to WORK, I want a more natural freeflowing date where I can feel out my guest and try to become what he needs which isn't always what he wants, while also getting the sexual needs I have met.  Most of the time when you get what you need, rather then what you want you have an experience that doesn't fade and will be one you strive to achieve again.  Again, keep the human factor in mind because a true provider who is honest with you and herself will never be the same way twice.  Different things effect how each day will effect a person.  So I guess it depends if you are looking for true or a really good actress.  In the end do you want a natural flowing session that feels like time is drifting away or do you want someone who has gone over your check list and is following a list?  I know which way I go.

3)LISTEN to your gut, and research all you can but keep the above in mind.  Just because she did something with someone else in a review does not mean it is going to happen the same way with you.  Reviews are a GENERAL guide letting you know what type of lady they are.  Read them but don't vest yourself in them, it will only lead to too high expectations that we could never possibly live up to.

In the end, this is supposed to be about having fun.  If you scrutinize sessions pushing for more and more you are never going to truely enjoy them as much as you could have.  Afterwards all you do is look for flaws in the session and that takes from the enjoyment.  Have fun, don't catalog your date, instead enjoy it.  Burry your face in her hair after and smell her scent, enjoy her and don't think about the review till it is time to write it.  And for god sake if you have a hard time acomplishing twice in a hour either book 1.5hr or let her know and try for a fucking ginormous one at the end.

Lust you, Sage

Sage, I could NOT have written this ANY differently!! On ALL aspects you are SO correct...I "work" in a very similar fashion as you. I EnJOY every session differently, I read and feel what my men need and want, as it comes, it is the reason I have been able to enjoy this in my low volume way I do...I despise fake reviews and men who offer reviews as its a favor. FOR the longest time I did not even want reviews, because what I do with you is between us...I want this as real as most of the men I have spent time with want it. It is a unique and individual experience every time, with every person...Men (and providers) who put SO much into this (for me) is a negative.  I am a human, I am a sexual woman who wants every experience to be one and new in itself...
Yours Truly
Scarlett...

For roughly what percentage of your reviews were you able to figure out who wrote them? I presume that unless the reviews are very vague, astute providers (especially low volume ones) can figure it out most of the time. Am I wrong? You now have the handle after the session, combined with the personal info he gave you before it.

Not revealing your handle might prevent pre-emptive rejections, but I doubt it would prevent potential repercussions.

You can wear sweatpants if you want baby.   (as long as you let me keep my socks on!)

I would say at best, maybe half of all the reviews I have I know the man behind the review. And I am a low volume provider by most standards. Add in that not only am I low volume, I would say roughly 80% of my business are regulars whom I know well.

TER gives you 90 days to write a review. If the experience was a negative one, why post it two days after you saw the lady when the experience is still fresh in both of your minds? Write the review when the details are still fresh, then save it. Post it 90 days later and I'll eat my garters if she is able to identify you as the author. Be objective and specific enough about whatever it was you were unhappy with, but leave out the fact that you brought her a bottle of wine and discussed the relative merits of Kurt Vonnegut's works. She'll remember that 90 days later. But if you were pissed because she was texting while playing the bone flute, she won't remember that because she's probably done it a dozen different times.

Take a deep breath everyone.

Now, some cosmic truths:

Gals should never ever send threats, veiled or otherwise, to a reviewer because they didn't like the review.  If they feel they were wronged, they should bring their case to TER management and abide by their decision.

Guys should strongly consider keeping a firewall between their TER handle and their real name, thought it is a shame to have to do so.  

Guys should also report any gal who does make a threat to TER managment.  TER should, of course, get the gal's side of it but if they see that it is always her against the world, then we know who has the problem here.

A strong review system serves the good providers and client, and helps get rid of the poor ones.  Honesty and respect and to be the cornerstones of such a system.

And finally, I support a review system where providers get to see the reviews because a good provider will see what she is doing right and wrong and take pains to improve her performance.  Isn't that what much of life is about, anyways?

Now, exhale slowly.

I'd first like to know who that review was of, though I don't expect you'll share.

Anyhow, it seems the Internet is determined to turn all social and business interactions into a cesspool of gossip. Rumors and outright lies are almost impossible to stop once they get started, as many providers have been aware of ever since review sites like this began cropping up.

The only advice I can think of is to ask one or more of the providers you have seen to put in good words for you.

A review is as much about the client as the provider. From how and what they write I try to determine if they sound like someone I can relate to. If not, I disregard the review.

If the reviewer strikes me as someone I can relate to then I'll take it into consideration.

I think its really good to be honest in our reviews otherwise whats the point...I guess the main thing is to write reviews for the best and worst and the ppl in the middle that were whatever maybe just say nothing at all...I can't not say something about an awful experience, but I do worry about girls not wanting to see me because I am willing to write a bad review....never thought about that before. I guess its good I write good reviews too, just wrote one a minute ago for a hott Asian I saw that rocked my world. lol Hopefully the good and bad will balance out. I hope that woman leaves you alone now...you removed your review so she should really drop it.

Lol..... Keep you socks on if you would like... If it's cold out mine will be on too...

I travel on school breaks and in the summer... You can always request that I come to where ever you may be... You never know where I will show up next.....

As time goes on, & TER gains more popularity, more providers WILL be requiring your handle for screening purposes. A gal can learn alot about a man through reading their reviews. ie. personal tastes, are they respectful, honest, whiney, gossipy, indiscreet, vengeful, DANGEROUS, the list goes on. I'm not going to take risks w/ gents who are not compatible w/ me. If I don't like you, believe me it will show, then I get a bad review because we're not compatible, or I'm a "bitch" if I refuse you service. And of course, safety. I'm not interested in being ripped off, or hurt physically, or emotionally. The bitter undertones of a gent who has issues of anger, & disrespect for women, are quite apparent in your writing. Finally, how loose are your lips. Some of you give out way too much info & put the provider at risk.

I did ask for him to remove it
It was stupid
He had never dined at the Y
Yet he complained about having my ass in his face
He mentioned the directions to my hotel were messed up
He said the room was dark
Sometimes I think men just need some cheese with their wine
I remember things quite differently
I remember going out of my way for him
My hotel was elevator card secure
I met him for a glass of wine
If I was too old then..get your ass up and walk out
My room was in a 4 star hotel.
Panoramic windows, candle lit..if it's too dark ask for more light
If you've never had oral sex and you are uncomfortable having flesh in your face be a man and say so.
Don't write a frickin review and complain a Sexy ass was in your face.
The problem with SOME reviewers is this.
They are inexperienced and insecure.
So they will lie and complain. They r trying to be something they are not....
Sexual
Some reviews should never be written
I'd rather WALK AWAY then do something I don't want to. It is given between the two parties that at anytime you want out...the door is there. And I would never take the gift if I didn't earn it.

Okay, this may be a dumb question, but how does one have a provider add him to the white list?  Do you not need to give your handle to do so?  Also, if you want to refer a potential provider to your white list, do you not need to give your handle?

I have not yet looked into the mechanics of how the white list works, but I will do so.

How do you direct potential providers to the white list?  BTW, I still haven't figured out how to access this list.  I have written to several providers that are willing to recommend me to it.  One ATF in Orlando unfortunately is not a member.

Not to mention used car sales men, drug dealers, thieves, con-men, and other lowlifes that prey on others for there own gain. As mrfisher point out many providers are down right ethical in comparison even if all their clients are married. Just because it is illegal does not mean it is dishonest. Yes there is some ethic issues with the hobby, but compared to any of the professions listed above, honest providers are saints.

This is my first response on TER ... I must say I am quite impressed with the intelligent discourse on this topic and am grateful for 1) other providers that are so well spoken and represent what I feel is my POV admirably 2) hobbyists that are kind, intelligent and respectful in their posts.

I am a part time specialty provider ("Fellatrix") who dearly values her talent and privacy so I take my time getting to know those with whom I wish to share my specialty ... which I believe leads to reviews that are more favorable due to a mutual respect for one another. I could be wrong but I believe that my patience (which leads to anticipation on both our parts) is why I have not experienced bad reviews. To me, if the emotional/spiritual/intellectual connection isn't there, I am not going to see the person therefore eliminating misunderstanding in the session.

Thanks for listening.

I guess we all just have to accept that both clients and providers have good and bad days, different tastes, and different requirements, and that a bad review can result from any combination of these factors. We are ALL YMMV to a point. Threats are unacceptable. Bad reviews for both providers & clients are unavoidable. In my line of work, 90% of my customers will be happy with my service, and 10% won't. I just have to work on raising that 90% mark without letting the 10% bog me down.