Back when I dated a lot, I used to get pointers all of the time. I thought I was learning so much and becoming a pro. But what one lady taught, another would not always like. If I learned anything, it was communication is vital. I learned not to assume that what one lady likes another does as well.
Now, if I was going to be a regular, by all means point away. I do want to please you. But I am the type that likes to hobby around. Knowing I am not likely to repeat, I prefer not to spend the session with you over directing me. If something I do hurts, I would want you to speak up. Asking me to go right a little is fine too. Small things. But otherwise, I want you to make me feel like I’m good at it, even if you feel I am not. I’m paying for a fantasy, not lessons.
Clients, how do you feel about receiving tips or pointers during a session about ways in which you might improve? Would you welcome gentle correction and think of how it might be useful beyond that date or maybe even with a different companion or a partner? Or would you be resentful? Do you think being told to do a particular move or activity differently would enhance or stifle the overall mood during an encounter?
Quite often, I read on this forum and elsewhere on the internet that men hate what they perceive to be pretending in general and especially full on fake orgasms. But sometimes it seems like a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation because some men also hate being told what to do by women. I imagine those feelings might be even more complicated when it's the case they are meeting a companion they are compensating.
So do you just want your ego stroked... or do you want to know what you could do differently / better during a date?
Between "I don't like porn-fake" behavior in my session and I "hate" being told what to do. Enough room for a lot of nuance and variety of engagement.
While going down on a lady, if she suggests I move up or down, go faster or slower, use more fingers or fewer, press harder with my tongue or back off a bit, you will not find a more responsive student. Not long ago, I had a lady tell me "more fingers" while I was DATYing. And I did NOT respond "Dont tell me how to eat pussy lady!" If the lady is present in the moment and engaged enough to guide me towards a more mutually pleasurable encounter, then GREAT! I care enough about my playmate that I want her to enjoy my company (as I would wager is true for >50% of players). If for no reason other than I might want a second date.😁
Of course, no reason to put someone down or make them feel bad. And if you don't feel like it's worth your time, don't.
Otherwise, please, please give me guidance on how to improve my game. I promise you I will be thankful.
-- Modified on 4/26/2026 6:36:35 PM
I am definitely ok with being given pointers. Everyone is different and if you need me to do something different so I can help you get to the next level in this, I am all ears. Honestly, I welcome it and am willing to do whatever I can to please "you" whomever you are. Yes, I am man, but damn it, I am not the best at your body, so help me help you!
/enough said
Back in the day, providers would routinely state on this very board "Dont worry about my orgasms, you are paying me for me to please you." Now of course every women didnt believe that, but I would say that was the majority opinion 10+ years ago.
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As with most things, this lifestyle evolves. Remember from the "Pretty Woman" movie, "escorts" were instructed by their pimp (or friend who mentored/brought them into this realm) not to EVER kiss the client at all! But time went by, p4p women realized what men really wanted, and since they were willing to pay more for it, so...drumroll please...voila! "The Girlfriend Experience" was created! lol.
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The biggest difference I see today, is that women are much more likely to want an orgasm then in days past, and be vocal about it in some, rare cases. Yes, I know, I am generalizing here, but to me it just makes sense. Whether getting paid or not, if someone can get you off, and you're horny, I mean....why not? I guess it's the clients that obsess about getting the girl off is when it becomes a problem for the provider as I am sure that happens at times.
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In my case, if you want to hand me the cheat code to have YOU attain the ultimate sexual pinnacle, count me in! But I guess if you are tutoring me on how to please OTHER women, well...that is essentially you telling the client he sucks in bed and I think most would be resentful about that.
As I often say to my gentlemen - I get PLENTY of orgasms, so they don’t need to worry about explicitly trying to give me more. That said, if they’re touching me, I assume they want to give me pleasure, or at least not be inflicting pain! So at that point, I’ll give some guidance on what I like, with the full understanding that my preferences are idiosyncratic and are not intended to be applied to women in general.
Now, occasionally I’ll enter a situation where he has certain tendencies that I strongly suspect will be annoying or unpleasant to most potential partners. In those cases, I’ll gently explain the issue during the “post game analysis,” and it’s generally received appreciatively.
It's good to know that when you do think it's useful to convey feedback, it's well received. Thanks for sharing Claire.
Back when I dated a lot, I used to get pointers all of the time. I thought I was learning so much and becoming a pro. But what one lady taught, another would not always like. If I learned anything, it was communication is vital. I learned not to assume that what one lady likes another does as well.
Now, if I was going to be a regular, by all means point away. I do want to please you. But I am the type that likes to hobby around. Knowing I am not likely to repeat, I prefer not to spend the session with you over directing me. If something I do hurts, I would want you to speak up. Asking me to go right a little is fine too. Small things. But otherwise, I want you to make me feel like I’m good at it, even if you feel I am not. I’m paying for a fantasy, not lessons.
All women are different and react to things differently, especially when it comes to orgasms and pleasure.
While I'm confident in my ability to please, I always welcome guidance and instruction as to what YOU like and what works for you. I consider our time together to be about you as much as it is about me and I derive a lot of pleasure from giving.
I often tell ladies at the start of first time meetings "don't hesitate to let me know what works for you and what doesn't".
acquire enough experience with a variety of women so that already know if a "suggestion" is likely something that all women will like or whether it's a unique request pandering to a kink of that particular woman. The first time I had a woman ask me to fuck her in the ass with my fingers or thumb while she was bent over in doggy for intercourse, I knew that this was not something I could just "spring" on every woman I saw. At this point in my life, having had sex with over 5000 women, with providers amounting to about one third of the total, I haven't had any requests or suggestions that are new to me in about 10 years, but if I did, I would only take it as far as the woman who made the request because after 50 years of fucking women, if it was the least bit "normal" I would have encountered it already, so to answer your question, there is no ego to be bruised by telling me how you like it what you want.
Politely saying your preferences make it enjoyable for everyone.
If it's daty I expect any woman to give cues on what's working and gentle nudges towards pushing the right buttons.
If it's in general, I'd be careful. After all, we come to a session to have fun and relax, and sometimes being told you're doing stuff wrong or whatever can be off putting and dampen the mood.
Any instruction or suggestion to enhance the experience is more than welcome.
I believe that if the lady has a better time than I will have a better time. Feel free
to hold class. I like to take my time and fully immerse myself in the experience.
I love hearing this! Companions are providing a service and many of us prioritize making sure we're catering to and centering the needs of whoever is visiting us. Still, I do think a certain level is unlocked when a suitor is tuned in and mindful of the experience his date is having.
I always consider the time that I spend with a lady to be as much about her as it is me.
DATY – Yes, please provide all the feedback. If I can make you orgasm, I’d love to receive it and implement it like the best student in the class.
However, for anything else (except if something is painful or too annoying), please keep it to yourself. We don’t need to hear it. Don’t train us for other ladies—each woman is different. You can’t prepare us for everyone, so there’s no point. Keep the focus on you and help make our fantasies come to life!
Sharing is caring. And often, talking about what to do or how to do it is very sexy in itself.
I still see a 9.5 Ter provider who went UTR several years ago. One of the most common praises you would read in her her great reviews was how she taught a lot of guys to be better at sex. I know she opened a lot of doors for me and still does.