It may be economic need, a new passion, an addiction, fantasy fulfillment, something that just fits for a number of years, etc.  Whatever.  But there are some things that I would hope most could agree on.

What somone does for a living, does not necessarily define who they are.  If by choice then it may be an element of "who they are", but not the sum of the entire person.

Ladies, if you exchange sexual favors for money, you are in the role of all the above.  Weigh that and don't take offense to whatever terms are used.  There are more important things in determining who is a jerk.  Worrying about whether the "nicest term" is used is secondary to their overall attitude.  Same for guys who use the C word.  To assume a guy is a jerk because he uses certain words is similar to judging you as a person because of what you do.

For guys who DO use the terms to put down the women in this business -- you are still paying them.  So who is "lower" is very questionable.

Any, sorry for another lengthy post.  There were just some threads lately that seem related.  Just wanted to say it is what they do, not who they are.  At the same time, understand the ramifications of doing it.  Words are also just words, not always someone's feelings.

I think we(society as a whole)get wrapped up in the idea that we can/shouldn't JUDGE people. We really don't have any authority to judge anyone. Some of us claim to know WHO(M) has that authority.I simply claim that we attempt to assassinate or assess one's character or lack there-of.

I think when someone is physically forced to partake here-in,maybe then do they have a right to assess someone else. Drop the name calling. Didn't it go out with junior-high?

I disagree, while many words define a profession or a social group we should try to always use the least denigrating one. Otherwise by your token the N word would be acceptable to refer to African American, etc etc.

And as far a "judging" users, extreme examples such as the "N" word is not very usful in debate.  Are you saying the C word, as previously stated is used in common in the UK, is the same as the "N" word?  Are you saying that anything we use except what is the most politically correct term is analogous to being racist?  

I don't disgree that we may be defining ourselves a bit by the words we choose.  But that does not make the word any less correct just because it is not a favored word.  Are you to be the one appointed to determine acceptable or not acceptable?  

John, trick, whoremonger, whatever, are accurate while I do this activity.  It is something I currently CHOOSE to do.  But overall, is that who I am?  Who I was a year ago?  Who I am a year from now?

I would rather words not have power over me in such a way.  My main point was to not let words define who you are.  Also, not to empower words so strongly that you judge someone simply because of their use, or you probably become the more judgemental person.

-- Modified on 8/22/2009 1:38:49 PM

and in the words of a very famous and successful African American "It's not what they call you, it's what you answer to".
The fact that we are on this board, in itself tells everyone that we don't disagree the importance of the services that prostitutes provide, so honestly, the subject is like Joan Rivers.....old and worn out. So everyone, pick a hoe and go do your thing!

that I find offensive, myself, and consiously choose not to use them. Why would I use any words, that I find offensive, to describe someone that I admire. Whether it's ethnic, professional, physical, or any other reason, is irrelevant. If it's offensive to me, it's offensive to them.

I live in city of warren and there many stings in my city but if you want a hoe just go to any garden shop. they also sell bee killer for the stings

it's kind of funny, some of you men are more sensitive about the words that are used, than the we are

I give a lot of respect to the providers I have seen.

Consider these facts:

[1].  One has to pay hundreds to even thousands $$$ per hour for her service.

[2].  She does not do business with just anyone, and she does not have to provider "sex".

[3].  Women in general share intimacy with only selected people in her life.  If some female offers this part to you, don't you appreciate?

Then, How do providers compare to other females who provider you with other services in your everyday life?  I agree, there should be some respectful name.

Not since my first experience with a professional women have I ever experienced my dates as being with whores, hookers, etc.  The experience has always been with professional women.  Sometimes they have been wonderfully competent professionals and rarely not so competent professionals, but the experience has never been one that fit words other than that.
I do not experience myself as a John or a trick and I hope the women I have seen don't experience me that way.

When it all comes down to the nitty gritty you are a "John" and they are "prostitutes". There is no way around it. If anyone believes anything else they are living on fantasy island.

"It is not what you call me but what I answer to that matters."

But then again, I live on fantasy island.  Boss.

you should use the words that describe it for you.  That is not how I experience it.

What’s going to be insulting to anyone is a moving target.

Where is the value in choosing to use derogatory labels for people, or default to the lowest common denominator in a general context when it’s not necessary?

Why not choose to use more positive labels?


-- Modified on 8/22/2009 8:00:18 PM

a Cocksucker.  I mean it in the nicest way of course!  lol  

I don't get offended by any of these terms.  Honestly, it never comes up.  There are more important things to be taken care of when I am with a client.  

Doing this doesn't define me.  It is just another thing that I do.  I like it too!  I don't feel that the gents I see are lower or higher than myself.  I think we are all nice people in need of something physical that our bodies naturally crave. It's all good.  

Now.....go get laid!  

Muah!  Betty xoxo

I agree, Stan, that a person cannot be defined by their occupation.

HOWEVER -- we should understand that people very often *define themselves* that way.

We are an extremely status-conscious society; and one aspect of status is occupation. It is so important that, in the world of civie dating, it's about the second question a woman asks. The answer to that question allows her to assess a great many things about a man.

Because of the hierarchical fashion in which men usually define themselves, occupation has taken the place formerly held by aristocratic ranks and titles. Women also do this, particularly women who have worked very hard to achieve certain occupational roles such as doctors, lawyers, etc.

In addition, guys out of work have an extremely high suicide rate because without an occupation, they lose their sense of value.

So while I agree that one should never define a person by their occupation; it should be understood that such a high-minded idea will often clash with the reality of people's self-identification.

On your second point, I both agree and disagree.

I agree that a man can very lovingly call a woman a nasty name and mean -- truly -- only the best of things. The same can occur with any and every word in the dictionary, even those deemed most offensive. So on that, I agree.

But I also disagree to the extent that words mean things.

Very often, providers and clients don't know each other very well, and there can be room for unintended misunderstanding. People often don't understand the complete context from which others are speaking. In that event, words are interpreted literally according to dictionary definitions.

In addition, especially in writing rather than in person, the facial expressions and mannerisms that give words nuanced or even opposite meanings are largely absent -- leaving even more room for misunderstanding. Again, the words get interpreted either within the reader's own context or the dictionary definitions.

So I believe that, in general, the use of words that a person would generally be expected to find offensive should be avoided except in circumstances where the reaction of the person targeted with the words can be fairly certainly predicted.

But, back to where I agree with you -- I agree that the use of specific words such as "cunt" and "whore" do not automatically confer "asshole status" on the person using them. After all, one lady who posts here outright calls herself a whore; so she clearly isn't offended by the term.

Would *I* use such terms? No. Not in referring to any provider I've ever seen. These women might be many things, but "whore" is not among them.

If you dont like such terms as trick or John. Why would you want a lady to be called names such as slut or whore.

Now me, I don't care if I am refered to as a trick or a John.  First, the is the role I am fulfilling when involved in this, so I won't deny them.  If someone's intent is to put me down with them, well, whatever, they just don't bother me.  If they did, then I should not do the acts that tricks and Johns do.

As for slut, to me it means Sexually Liberated Ultimate Treasure (S.L.U.T.), so call me a slut any day (even in HS I never bought into the "girls are sluts, guys are studs" BS.)

For those who only want to use nice terms, or even create new ones...power to you.  I am all for treating each other with respect.  But please, both sides stop making mountains out of molehills.  Stop labeling people for their word choices.  I mean, I think we are getting a bit carried away when we begin to fret that "provider" is not a nice enough term.

Cocksucker as well.  I meant it in the micest way of course!  LOL  

we need to channel all this energy into something positive. We need to fight to make it legal. Lets march on Washington

I live in the real world, that's why. I don't believe in PC terms that are used now. For example BBW is a term used by fat women to feel better about themselves. Fat is fat just like a provider is a prostitute and a hobbyist is a john no matter what words are used. I am just different when it comes to seeing providers. My main thing when with them is to get off. I could care less about a GF experience and I don't want to get to know them. I don't want to hear their problems and don't care to engage in BS chit chat. A little talk to get to know each other slightly is fine but that's it. If I want a gf experience I will get a real gf.

...wardrobe constraints, writing employee evaluations. Costing out projects that I knew would never fly but that department head wanted to look smart in front of the CEO.  Answering 10 calls and 20 e-mails a day while on vacation.  Being told where to be and when to take vacation.  A much bigger whore then than now.

Still, 'whore', 'ho', 'slut' are name calling and judgemental - not describing a persons job.

Sometimes to identify the activitey and sometimes the person.  

My point is that regardless of sensitivities, the words do apply to the activities and people should accept that.  They don't have to like it, but at least accept it if the acts fit the definition of the word - it is what it is. Dictionary definition of whore - a woman who engages in sexual acts for money.  (also men who do trhe same thing.)  If your business is good enough to pass up clients that believe that word technically applies to the job you do, that is great.  It does not make them wrong however.  

But just because such a word is legit when applied to the "hobby", does not make them appropriate labels for the person in total.  X is a Y because they do Z is too simplistic in labeling us complex creatures.

I just recently learned that a lady friend of mine was held up a gunpoint doing this.  Why do we seem to treat these words like they are real weapons?  It is all pretty trivial, and though I use the words only in appropriate settings (humorous interpersonal situations), I also would prefer not to have anymore sessions while walking on eggshelss.  Afterall, again, I would be paying you, so whose personal label would be lower?

You are correct i dont want to be called a John . Someone calling me a Client sounds a lot better. And what provider likes the term whore. The better term to me would be provider or companion i could go on and on of better terms out there to use.

middle managers trying to ride the coattails of better employees who aren't high enough on the food chain.