I've heard from so many of my regulars that a lot of clients get very possessive and in some cases become stalkers. Seems strange becuase for me the beauty of the provider/client relationship is that both parties know exactly what the ground rules are.
My experience in the industry
Due to some hard turns in life, earlier this year I was desperate for money and decided to become a provider. I love sex and I've always been intrigued by the industry, so it seemed like a great fit for me.
Before posting my first ad, I did a lot of research. I was shocked by how careless and stupid most providers and patrons appeared to be with regard to LE and STD risks. I came to the conclusion that a smart and cautious person should be able to minimize those risks and have a lot of fun with the industry. I needed the money, so I decided to go for it.
Luckily, I'm a very attractive girl with great pictures, so I received a lot of attention in spite of having no reviews. Knowing I could afford to pick and choose, I decided to play it safe and screen thoroughly.
The first thing I did to screen was have initial contact by email only. This way I could weed out all of the stupid pieces of shit that can't spell or write a coherent fucking sentence. Major pet peeve of mine. This actually weeded out about 70% of the people that contacted me. I didn't even respond to those idiots and I'm very glad for that.
I did quite a lot of screening with the remainder and this really pissed some of the men off, but at the same time made many others feel much more comfortable with me. Basically, everyone I interacted with either loved me or hated me. Out of everyone that emailed me, I probably only took on about 5% as clients.
In the beginning, it was absolutely amazing. I was very surprised by how much I enjoyed my first patrons. They were intelligent and professional and I was quickly making a lot of money. I couldn't believe I didn't get into this earlier. Life was great.
I established a nice roster of regulars. The men that tipped well and were professional got special treatment, including time otc, an expanded menu, and a very accommodating schedule. I made myself available for them when they needed me.
It wasn't very long until things started to sour for me. The first of my best clients - people I thought were right on the same page with me - started to get too into me and the fantasy of our relationship. I think they actually fell in love with me, which was very uncomfortable and inappropriate. I didn't think much if it at first and just wrote it off as a few good clients gone bad. I quit responding to them and changed my industry name.
Eventually, this trend got worse and worse until it felt like all of my favorite clients were no longer seeing this as a professional relationship. I'm a very accommodating person and I started to become depressed because so many men wanted more and more from me. It was emotionally draining and I started to get bitter and angry with the industry.
One day I finally snapped. I had a little time to myself before a client showed up and I tried to meditate to get into the right mood. He showed up ten minutes early and I was just furious, which is when I realized I couldn't do this anymore. I canceled all of my appointments and quit the industry.
I was in the industry for a total of a little over three months. I saved up over $20,000. I provided under three different names. I performed BBBJ to only three special clients - everything else was covered. I posted a total of 8 ads on Backpage and one ad on the regional TER page. Every single client I had was a TER member. I was never reviewed.
Aside from my three favorite clients, I faked every orgasm I had, but I'm not the kind of girl that needs to orgasm to have fun.
I tested for STD's at the end of each month I was in the industry. On my last test, two days after leaving the industry, I found that I had Chlamydia, but I had no symptoms present.
After leaving the industry, I purchased breast implants and will become a stripper after I am finished with recovery.
All in all, I learned a lot about life. I definitely picked up some emotional baggage I need to sort out, but I'm much better off now than I was earlier this year. I really liked my three favorite clients and I'm considering making myself available to just them at some point as an UTR provider, but I'm still a little pissed off that one of them gave me chlamydia.
I posted this because I don't think the patrons very often get honest feedback from providers. How can we afford to be honest when we're paid to provide a fantasy?
Happy hobbying.
A lot of this has been said before, but it's still all valid, especially the part about clients getting too emotionally involved. While it's not true of everyone this business seems to have a high proportion of people with emotional baggage on both sides of the transaction. So shit happens that really shouldn't.
There's only one thing I don't get. Why become a stripper? I am no expert on this and haven't been to a strip club in years. But most mongers who post on the subject have said that strippers are much less emotionally honest than providers and are more into rip-offs. I'm not saying this has to be true in your case. But if it's correct, you could be in for a disappointment because you don't seem to fit that mold so you might not blend in. Who knows.
Anyway, good luck. From the way you present yourself, I wish I was one of your potential UTR clients.
I'm not much of a stripclub addict but there are big fat bouncers to remind ppl that it is all just a fantasy. Lol
That so many supposedly "cream of the crop" clients could act so callously as to cause a great provider to have to hang up her spurs after only three months is a crying shame; and I don't know what to say except, guys - if you see yourself in here, please clean up your act.
All the best to you in whatever field you go to.
Thank you for posting this.
Well, except for the one guy who gave her VD, it seems the great sin all these guys committed was falling in love with her. That doesn't exactly strike me as callous behavior. A wrong decision on their part, yes, and not professional, but understandable.
This was an interesting read and lots of credit to you for sharing your story.
If you continue occasional forays into unprotected intercourse, I strongly suggest you talk to your doctor about keeping around some prophylactic medications to be take before such meetings. Low level antibiotics will usually prevent GC or Chlamydia from getting a foothold. Same for anti-virals. Though not definitively proven, anti-retroviral pre-dosing is also a good idea.
helps if you read the op's post 
Chlamydia can be transferred very easily during oral sex.
Most people who have chlamydia have NO symptoms.
Don't make the ignorant assumption that if someone has something, they had unprotected intercourse.
Lots of people have it, have no symptoms, pass it on to others, and never get tested because there's no obvious sign they have it.
but yeah, seems our doc needs to go back to med school. lol
if you do not have a throat culture you may never know you are infected.
Tristan "This way I could weed out all of the stupid pieces of shit that can't spell or write a coherent fucking sentence. Major pet peeve of mine.
The first of my best clients - people I thought were right on the same page with me - started to get too into me and the fantasy of our relationship. I think they actually fell in love with me, which was very uncomfortable and inappropriate.
I'm a very accommodating person and I started to become depressed because so many men wanted more and more from me. It was emotionally draining and I started to get bitter and angry with the industry.
After leaving the industry, I purchased breast implants and will become a stripper after I am finished with recovery."
You won't find the most articulate associates at your new strip club endeavor .
Many of your naive customers at the club will also fall in love with you.
Some guys will be very rude to you , no matter how pretty you are.
Some weirdo might stalk you when you leave the club parking lot.
I will suggest you deal with your anger management issues before trying out as a stripper.
The club environment isn't a very healthy atmosphere to be working in for a long period of time for many reasons.
I think a provider has far more control over her work and the men she chooses to see than a girl at a strip club has over her work environment.
To succeed at either you need to have the right sort of emotional make-up to pull it off. It's definitely not for everyone, and being beautiful doesn't help much if you don't have the other characteristics necessary to deal with all the men, many of them clueless, that you'll run into. There's a reason clubs need bouncers.
I sympathize with you and feel sad for the negative impact this had on your life. Still, it would be inconsistent if you established contacts with the “three best clients” who were part the reason why you exited this business.
Having said so, you might have learned from this experience on how to respond to such clients in future, which would be a positive. There are many pretty providers in this business like you, who probably face similar situation, but somehow learnt how to deal with it.
This is a unique profession where providers try their best to charm clients, but if they are too successful it leads to emotional attachment affecting the business. And men at times fail to learn that unlike a normal commercial relationship where you do make friends, in this business the commodity that is being transacted is “friendship” or fake friendship. If the provider started offering that commodity outside the commercial transaction, she would have no business any more. Probably this profession is for alpha-male and not the romantic types who end up getting hurt or pissing their providers.
Hope you have better luck in the strip clubs where the contact with clients is very limited.
I doubt that she will have more luck at strip clubs. There are more emotionally needy men in strip clubs than there are in the hobby.
I am one of the alpha males in this business. I believe in paying providers well and never attempt to negotiate their fee down. I tip well. But when I come into a room with a provider, I am there for two reasons. I want to get off and if I am good enough, I get her off. I don't show up with wine or flowers and don't drink wine if the privider has it. I enjoy, finish, shower and am back to my civvy life during my alotted time. I deeply, honestly don't understand men that show up to incalls with wine, flowers and gifts, I view them as johns that are looking for romance that they like in their civvy lives. It is all about connecting long enough for a robust roll on sheets with a hot woman, anything more overly complicates life for the provider and hobbyist.
I've heard from so many of my regulars that a lot of clients get very possessive and in some cases become stalkers. Seems strange becuase for me the beauty of the provider/client relationship is that both parties know exactly what the ground rules are.
But no. Just search for threads about "I've fallen for a provider and I can't get up." Guys who should know better continue to forget this is a business and their ATF is not in love with them and has an actual life. There are probably a million threads on this. Guys who are too fucked up to have a real relationship with a civvie woman gravitate to providers and confuse what's going on because of their own needs. Always has been, always will be. It's called human nature. Sometimes (much more rarely) it happens the other way 'round.
the reality is that MOST clients do not fall in love with clients - some do, and we've all had 1 or 2 a year who do - but to claim that you had multiple clients fall in love with you after only 3 months in the business just doesn't smell right. Either you're delusional about their intentions, or you weren't handling your business right. I would bet money that it's a combination of the two.
I'm not trying to be a jerk, but there are TONS of girls who get into this business every day, and they all think it's GREAT for the first few months. The new girls are always "just looking for a few regulars," and they use all the same cliches "low volume" "upscale" etc. But the reality is that guys flock to 'fresh meat' and there is always a new girl on the horizon. It doesn't take long for you to become old news, and EVERYONE becomes old news sooner than later . It is actually WORK to keep up the marketing and personality and attitude to be in it for the long haul.
This isn't a business for girls who are just looking for a fast buck - they end up like you - jaded and damaged, if not older and wiser.
And STDs happen even with condom use (condoms reduce the risk - they don't eliminate it).
Well said. I was also wondering how she got "regular" clients in a short period of 3 months and all of them suddenly falling in love with her. There are plenty of pretty providers around and I would think that while few clients may get infatuated with them, they genreally keep their feelings manageable, otherwise TER would be full of such problems. There seems to be more to this story.
..... when I was brand-new I had clients emailing me wanting to be exclusive and "take me away" from the biz after one date. So....who knows what can happen in a few months with someone else. And "regular" client may vary on the provider.
You realize that clients offering to take you away from the biz were most likely pulling your leg to get more intimate services from you. Let's rationalize a bit. The men that you met were most likely married. They have likely cheated on their wives with several women before you. May be you were special to them, but if you expect that specialness to last, your assumption is likely way off the mark. Their wives were special to them at one time. What make you feel that your fate would be better than their wives? Keep the fact that this is a cash exchange for erotic favors business, nothing more, nothing less. If I am a clent of yours, I leave with a smile on my face, you look at the envelop that I left for you and see yourself a bit closer to your goal. As long as both of us understand our basic objective for our meeting, both of us will be better off.
im guessing if you screened . these 'stalkers' you should fill other providers in on to give us the heads up... wouldn't you?
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Stay safe.. If you think the same thing doesn't happen in the club, your completely wrong.
I worked the strip scene before escorting, i must say... ILL PASSS!! I can walk into almost any club NOW and get asked for a dance, i say no.. next question is... do you do anything else?
If you think its just 'stripping' that goes down in clubs, your completely wrong. Extras & Escorting is EVERYWHERE.
Stay Safe
Some men in this hobby are in it for the wrong reasons. So are many providers. While your are proud of your research and screening, you seem to have made a couple of critical choices that caused your current state of mind. One major mistake that I see new providers make is not understand exactly what their objectives for entering the business are and what issues they don't want to experience. You should have entered the business with a good sense of how much money you wanted to make and the time frame that you wanted to make that money. You could not have anticipated that some emotionally needy men would become attached to you, but your experience is something that every top provider experiences and develops strategies for dealing with.
How did you get the stalkers? Re-read your post. You discussed how narrowly you screened, down to the specials 5%, which you cut down to an even smaller percentage. And you most likely told each of the men, or many of them, how special they were to you. If a man walks into your life with unfilled emotional needs, why wouldn't he become attached to you when you are whispering in his ear about how special he is? A man's educational level and wealth are poor markers for his emotional health in relationships. Some of the most educated and wealthy men are also the most needy emotionally. Don't feed their need by thoughtless statements about how selective you are and how lucky they are to be with you and how special they are to you. View the business for what it is, a man pays you for sex. You take money to provide sex. Both of you get what you came into the encounter to get. Both of you go about your lives once the encounter is finished. If you meet a man that does not live to that standard, if you have good reason to think he is stalking you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, he is a fool, you have enough information to make his life hell, no sane man, even an emotionally needy one will want you to play the exposure card that is available to you if he doesn't get out of your life.
I don't understand your logic on the SDT. You are sure that one of the three men that you may still see UTR gave you the SDT, but you will see each of them and likely perform the same type of sex with them. Is your decision making relative to someone that has harmed you not part of your problem?
If you think becoming a stripper will solve your problems, stop and think again. Stop for a long time and think again, hard. You will have stalkers, some of them will be dangerous people. You may be better off getting a job in the hospitality industry and work your way up to management, it is a hard route, but given your state of mind and some of the assumptions that you are making, you will be better off making a little more than minimum wage with a hope of one day making more.
If you decide to stay with providing, screen as vigorously as you have been. But when the men get in the room with you, be inviting and warm, but under no circumstance should you whisper in their ears how special they are to you. Because if you continue that pattern, you will simply grow your list of stalkers and become even more bitter than you are now.
Hi Tristan, I'm a UTR provider that was basically in your shoes a year ago. I had a few great guys who were BFE's, but I also had crazy nutbags who pushed boundaries and got stalkery. Here's advice from someone who's been there=let the ones you wish to keep know you're going UTR and pull your ads. I say this because when I was fading out, I had ads up and was getting reviews from my awesome guys while ignoring the clingy, gross, and crazy. This pissed off the clingy, gross, and crazy-they were very insulted-I ended up with three bad reviews=one from a stalker who was nuts, one from a too rough creep I blacklisted, and one from a guy I never even saw who flipped out because I didn't get back to his crazy ass right away. So I had to have TER pull ALL my reviews and completely fall off the grid. You'll be happier with just regulars. I've also danced, please know they fall in love there as well. I currently do webcam and think you should try it. It's lots of money and no one touches you, no one can follow you home, hurt you, etc.. Please give it a try. Also, good luck and make sure you take some time to pamper yourself, it's been a rough industry for most of us.