I would assume a few have been through this.
In some relationships, it's not just the guy who isn't getting what they need. People forget that. Some partners enjoy their life without certain things, others look to get what they need /want but still enjoy the relationship they have. Others would leave if a decent situation presented itself.Suppose you are a guy who has been married for many years and hobbied to make life more bearable. Things have been stale but you don't want to break up the family. And suppose you find out your wife is leaving and is shacking up with a new guy (not because she found out about the hobby). You can't really resent her for wanting it but you see a difference in the situation.
In this hypothetical, you're going through emotional and financial turmoil, but you're also trying to figure out what to do with your life after spending 30 years with a partner. You think about dating, tindering, increasing your hobby activity, sugarbabying or maybe even trying to find a meaningful relationship. But you don't really know where to start. Presumably some of this group have been through this kind of hypothetical, and maybe have thoughts about things that helped.
And suppose you go see a therapist to help you sort things out...would you tell the therapist about hobbying or consider it something apart from the real needs. You don't think the hobby was a major factor in the breakup but wonder if hobbying has been a healthy coping mechanism or distracting from addressing your needs.
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I would assume a few have been through this.
In some relationships, it's not just the guy who isn't getting what they need.
People forget that. Some partners enjoy their life without certain things, others look to get what they need /want but still enjoy the relationship they have. Others would leave if a decent situation presented itself.
I don't care if you put up pieces of paper on the wall with each option written on them and throw darts at them. But DO something. Or do several things. Just do it.
And if you're in therapy, don't tell your therapist you're seeing hookers. They may be pros but they're human, too, and can't avoid judging you from a position of ignorance.
So use the ads here or on some other site. Read reviews. Get in touch with someone and get screened. Then have fun. You'll thank me later.
If you are going to see a therapist, not telling them what is going on with you makes the whole thing a waste of money.
If they are going to be judgmental, then it's time to find a new therapist. That said, if they are worth their salt (and many are not, unfortunately) they'll know what you're up to in about 5 minutes.
To the OP: Yes, do see a therapist. I did twice in my life: Once before I could establish a steady relationship with any female, and then again after I got divorce papers. Good ones do help.
I do concur with my friend's final line of advice, however.
Just kidding, really, and I had a very good therapist for some years. And bear in mind I did NOT say don't tell them "what is going on with you," just stay away from the subject. Whether someone sees a hooker or doesn't is NOT a psychological issue to me. You can deal with your problems honestly in all other respects and have just as good an outcome. But therapists are much like other people when it comes to this world. They have opinions based on ignorance and prejudice. And seeing a hooker is not something anyone needs "help" to recover from. In fact, there's no real reason why it should come up at all. In my case I saw a therapist for a couple of years and there never was a single point where discussing my whore-mongering was remotely relevant to the issue.
with friends and family. They are your lifeline in times of need. Use escorts for relief of physical needs, but not for emotional support.
If you are going to pay someone to help you through this, lying to them, or lying through omission, kind of defeats the whole purpose of having a therapist in the first place. You seem to be torn between thinking your mongering had nothing to do with the problems in your marriage or not. The fact that you aren't sure in your own mind suggests that perhaps a "professional opinion" might be warranted.
One thing to keep in mind about therapists, they are people first and ALL people have their own set of pre-existing biases and prejudices, and "if" your therapist has an underlying bias against hookers or paying for sex it could cloud his/her advice to you. Just something to keep in mind when you start the process.
As for what to do "now", fresh new pussy might not fix what is emotionally "broken" (sorry, I couldn't think of a better word) with you, but it's an awfully good bandaid IMO. One suggestion is to address your pussy needs and your emotional needs separately. You do NOT want to jump into a guaranteed to fail "rebound" relationship after 30 years of marriage, but I am sure you still want pussy, and you still want some kind of emotional connection with a woman. Most people look for one person to fill both needs, but how about finding a hooker/SB to satisfy your physical needs and a female "friend" to fill the emotional void? Meaningful relationships happen in their own time, trying to "find" one or looking for one where it doesn't really exist in order to replace a broken one usually ends up in failure.
There are many reasons people turn to various forms of the hobby. Some are looking to fill the void of any females in their life, others are in long term marriages with solid emotional connections but no longer any physical ones (and 100’s of variations in between). You are clearly going thru a lot and seeking the help of a professional I would be very smart. The last thing I would do is worry whether a therapist is going to judge you. Would you go to a doctor with a severe migraine and tell him your knee hurts and hope that he finds out what is really going on. Would you go to a mechanic and tell him your AC isn’t working when the trouble is something in the suspension of the car. You get the picture, if you are going to go to a therapist and not tell them the truth, you might as well take out a few grand from the bank and just toss it out the window as your driving down the expressway. If you open up to the therapist and you feel like you are being judged, find a new therapist (and politely point out to them that you didn’t come to them for approval on your life choices). Most importantly, talk to someone about what you are going thru and address it head on. Not doing so only sets you up for a crash later on down the road.
I highly recommend therapy for this type of situation. A good therapist not only provides a safe environment for you to discuss your issues he/she also will help you discover things about yourself you never realized. There are a lot of online resources. (I believe Psychology Today has a website where you can search for therapists in your area that specialize in all types of areas--drug problems, relationships, breakups/divorce, etc.)
Having undergone therapy for a couple of years myself I can say it was invaluable--it freed me from the chains I carried around for a long time and I learned a great deal about myself. The subconscious buries a LOT of things. I'll warn you, however, like with anything else (including this hobby), you "get what you pay for." By and large-good therapists are pricey-so this will be an investment. But if you put a sincere effort into it-it will be very liberating!!
Here is the Psychology Today weblink that can assist you in finding a therapist to fit your situation--(an excellent resource).
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
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As someone who has been in therapy on and off for 20 years (because of fucked up parents), I can tell you that everyone that works in mental health has some kind of a messed up past. Why else do they want to help others? Their past is jaded too. So be very careful on what you divulge because the therapist is like any other person, they have opinions and prejudices.
Personally, I would consider this a blessing from my 30 years of marriage where 15 have been completely sexless thanks to menopause.
I never understood how therapists would help. I'd just want to argue with them, tell them their ideas don't make sense.
I'm not quite sure I'm following, you think that people don't normally want to help others?
I'm saying that people that want to "...deal with and help other people with mental/social issues" are typically mentally damaged in some way too. I just don't think someone with a really good past childhood, mental status, etc would typically want to be a therapist. AKA Therapists need Therapists. I've seen enough different therapists to know this over 20 years. Take their advice like a good friend that doesn't know you personally... strange combo there, but that's how I approach it. I had a woman therapist, with spouse, over this whole lack of sex thing. SHE didn't see my side at all... hold hands more, hug and snuggle more. Nothing prevents you from jacking off does it she says. Sorry, I need a blow job. Rosie Palm and I need a break.
A lot of mental health professionals got into the biz because they had mental health issues themselves. But that doesn't mean that they don't want to help people. You do, however, need to be careful about disclosing information about how you wilfully violate laws for a variety of reasons. If you ever want to apply for a security clearance, they could rummage through that stuff. If you get a divorce, your wife might be able to obtain that information and use it against you. Not to mention that there are circumstances such as if you are perceived as a danger to others (which is interpretable) where they could share information with authorities. I wouldn't assume that everything you say is always completely private.
from a therapist then their advice is going to be worthless without the whole picture. If you're going to go that route, then it makes more sense to discuss your problems during a session with a hooker. At least you will get a blowjob along with the worthless advice.
I know one provider I see that I consider her a therapist, too. I get a multiplying effect for my money. I respect her perspective and she has an advanced psychology degree. And, I do get a BBBJ as a bonus.
I see nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. It is like getting an oil change for your car. It is good maintenance before things get too bad. But, like doctors, they are not all the same. Finding a good therapist is very difficult, and for those that can barely afford it even harder because they can't afford to try different doctors. I think it would reduce crime and health care costs. Stress and poor mental health is a big indicator and the root cause of heart disease, alcoholism, drug addiction, and many other diseases.
So it might be. What do you care if I'm stressed, have poor mental health, my hearth if f'd up, I drink, I use drugs and have many other diseases (actually I'm very healthy and not addicted to hard drugs) but if I was? Maybe I'm talking for others in worse situations. As your doctor I will tell you to laugh at it all. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvhDFKU-Q3g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxAo1ibCy6w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN2jqTilLOM
Talk about worthless...what do you get for your $200 blow job?
for $200. If you get out a little more, you would know that prices for girls that work from an incall charge more than that. However, if you are in the streetwalker market, which is where I'm guessing you get your price point, I'm told that for $200 you can get one that's not that fat and still has all of her teeth. I have never seen a streetwalker, but is this consistent with your own experience?
280, 270, 200 (for 30 minutes).
and sourcing on Hx, one level above the street yourself.
...all he can afford to see are cut-rate K-girls. In L.A, as you say, you can see a K-girl for $200 for a half hour. CDL has seen K-girls in the Bay Area for $220/hour. He IS one level above streetwalkers himself.
The wimp uses the modern version of Craigs' List (Humaniplex) coupled with a disposable Tracfone. He takes the by the minute plan so that they can squeeze him in between large loads. A little donation for a little dick.
and I have never used it. I have a long history of slamming them on various boards when someone brings up the subject. The link below will take you to my most recent bash of Hx when the subject came up on the LA Regional Board.
So your entire narrative is bullshit because you start off with a false narrative. Since nobody here remembers you from your prior posts, you are off to a great start destroying you own cred.
I see you had my post removed about your ED. So in addition to being clueless, you are also a cowardly post-puller. It really sucks to be you. Your new butt-buddy is the only member I have on ignore, so I have no idea what he said, but he's been repeating the same shit here for years.
Half that or even less for a SW.
$200 can get you a decent regular girl, regular service too.
I don't even think they exist (only on TV) and wouldn't trust him/her.
I wouldn't be married either. But if I did, I do see her leaving with that other guy.
In the end I would get drunk and get a cheap apt girl before considering suicide but not going thru with it. 
You could be writing about what I just went through about 5 years ago.
Yes, a therapist can help and you have to be open and honest if you want honest responses.
Yes, dating even before Covid was like putting your dick in ice water (don't try it--seriously). Between the gold diggers and the liars and the silly young girls asking for dick pics, I just stopped trying for a long time.
In the emotional state you're likely in right now, you probably need time more than anything else. Hit the home gym, buy a bike and ride it, volunteer, take some long road trips, read the books you have been putting off reading. Do something to get mind and soul and body aligned before you try anything resembling dating. And while it will be tempting to play here when the urge strikes, you may be better off taking a hiatus from this thing as well.
First off, I am a big fan of therapy. Helped me through the death of my first wife, and saved my life.
Remarried and then divorced after many years, happened in my mid 50's.
I live in a small town, dated a little bit, but the pickings are slim and at this age I have too much baggage.
I strongly believe escorting to be moral, and in particular with older men who are burnt out on relationships.
I have mentioned what I am about to say in past posts
When I started I thought I was doing something horrible. Then it dawned on me, it would be how horrible it would be for me to turn off the libido for the rest of life. The idea of never caressing a breast or a pussy was depressing as hell. So I stumbled on to escorts. (In fact, the thought of never feeling the inside of a pussy, bareback, depresses me, but I would never do it).
My mother passed away when my father was in his late 50's. Back then there was no internet or any other options other than Penthouse or Playboy, of which he had many, for pleasuring. He never dated. Now I understand why. Self pleasuring the rest of my life is not my idea of fun.
So here we are. The OP story is not unique, happens to great number of men. Happened to me and I never saw it coming.
...in many senses of the word.
Yep, another story about low-sex wife of almost 20 years (my now ex-wife, since '94). We did make the decision to attend therapy, BOTH as a couple and then individual therapy sessions with two different counselors.
After months of sessions, things did finally come to light to explain why her sex drive was so low -- suffice to say a lot of terrible childhood issues needed to be resolved. When push came to shove, she wouldn't carry through with the measures recommended by her therapist (in conjunction with our joint counselor).
Since she refused to take the responsibility to make her own life better, I made the hard choice to end the marriage.
Realizing I needed a (hopefully) enthusiastic female sex partner but not wanting to get back into dating or pickup a woman at a bar (the AIDS situation was still very much a concern), I made the decision to try escorts a few months after the divorce papers were filed.
On a trip to Nevada, I visited the world-famous Mustang Ranch, had a life-changing experience that exceeded my hopes for that enthusiastic partner and I've been in p4p (off & on) ever since.
Engaging in p4p with the right provider "takes the pressure off" regarding dating (and my prostate!), so I'll most likely continue. Since I'm an old dinosaur, this might be how I live the rest of my life.
We'll see...