I have often thought about the different classifications of hobbyists and the men who make up our fine community. (Hardy often stays up late to ponder deep philosophical quandaries)  

I have concluded that we fall into 4 Groups.  

1. Single Males, Ages 18-25: This group of men care about one thing and one thing only...getting laid. Period. Most of them are still living off mommy/daddy's money so they really don’t care what they spend. As long as they are not monetarily cut off; who cares! Their only problem is usually in the initial screening process (i.e. no references or an immature attitude in contacting a provider) but once they get an appointment, they are virtually harmless, and will generally not cause the providers too much trouble. Their sole objective is to get as much pussy as financially possible and really don’t give a rats ass to try and create any chemistry or kinship with the ladies. They walk into a session and its non stop sex from the start. (Who needs initial banter?) Their motto is cum fast and cum often. In fact, these are the guys that can easily cum 3 times in the hour...boy aren’t our fine providers lucky!  

2. Single Males, Ages 26-35: This is prob. the worst group of hobbyists and I would venture to guess the one group providers hate seeing the most. These are the guys who have made some money on their own, and want everyone (I mean everyone) to know about it. As a whole, this is a conceited and arrogant bunch. At the session's start, their get to know you chatter with the provider prob. consists about their jobs/cars/careers, and of course how much money they make. Then, when they finish fucking a provider, instead of talking to the lady during recovery time, they have the audacity immediately to check their cell phones and or blackberry's for important messages they may have missed (hey, its been 10 minutes since they were last in the office). When the session is over, they don’t understand why the provider has not instantly fallen in love with them. They are after all God's gift to women. These are the guys that also want to know just how great of a lover they were (news flash, not very good)  

3. Married Males, Ages 35-45. These are the guys that after several years of marriage are looking for something else that is missing at home. They are after that combination of unbridled and uninhibited sex (where the provider does things you forgot were possible and your spouse wouldnt dream of doing) with a mixture of GFE and companionship. They are interested in cultivating some sort of relationship with the lady, even if it’s only for the hour or two they are with her. The only limitations for these hobbyists is that they have to be careful over their finances and avoid having their spouse question where the money is going. Often these are the best clients for providers to maintain as there is less of chance that a hobbyist will cross that proverbial line and want more out of the relationship. For obvious reasons, these men need to be careful how they act and as such respect the boundaries that exist. They are very concerned about maintaining discretion and privacy and choose providers who will do the same.  

4. Divorced, Widowed Males, Ages 45 and up: This is the "been there done that" group of hobbyists. These men bring a lifetime of experience and insight to the table. They have no intent of finding Mrs. Right again, but rather live in the moment of hobbying. These men have the wealth (if their divorce has not wiped them out) and patience to pick and choose the perfect ideal woman for them. They tend to stick more with a few all time favorites; ladies whom they have cultivated some type of relationship with which often goes beyond the traditional hobbyist/provider arrangement. These men tend to garner the most emotional attachment to the providers and really care just as much about the relationship as they do the sex.  

I think this sums up our fine community quite nicely...now which group is Hardy in...
   


-- Modified on 2/6/2008 8:06:06 AM

I would most closely fall into category four, but your summation hardly describes me. I may or may not find "Mrs Right", I'm not looking for her, but I am not immune. I don't stick with a few ATF's, on the contrary, my goal this year is to see at least a  hundred different women in at least a dozen different countries.

I think you need to create a few more categories.

is scheduled for publication next fall.  It is expected by then to have 15 classifications and numerous sub-classifications.

Interesting topic and four groups. Interesting enough to bring me out of posting retirement!   I Won't even speculate which you fall in- especially given how tough you are on TER ratings!  Either you choose a lot of average women to see or are incredibly tough rating them!

Unfortunately, there is a lot of blending of your categories- I'm in #4 by age and description, but am married.  I am temporarily retired from hobbying but did see few at the end and did garner emotional attachment occasionally as I am open to close connection.  Because I'm married, I'm wasn't looking for "Mrs Right" and was safe to the ladies.

But....  because I do enjoy connection, the risk is still there for falling hard and I would not run from Mrs. Right if I found her!

-- Modified on 2/6/2008 8:36:13 AM

-- Modified on 2/6/2008 8:36:42 AM

A very thoughtful and insightful analysis Hardy. Yet, I fell through the cracks. Not to worry, I don't take it personally, since I've seldomed fit into any category very neatly. I probably fit into category 3 best, yet I'm well over 45, and have many of the characteristics of category 4, but without the wealth.

you should not cap category 3 at age 45...I think it goes well beyond that.

I kind of fall in the middle here. I'm well over 45, but married, and not wealthy. As far as the "Been there, done that", no I haven't. I didn't start hobbying until I was 55, so there's a lot I haven't done. I do hope to remedy as many as I can.

but also a bit of presumption in all of these. I tend not to lump people into categories as it really serves no useful purpose.

are my new hero.

I would extend the age group in #3 , I'm 61 , happily married, fulfilling sex life at home, just out looking for variety after 5 kids,8 grandkids, not looking for another another wife, but rather enjoy the relationship building with a few selected ladies that comes unemcumbered with discussions about bills to pay, family stuff,etc.  And did I say variety , although , after 70 plus reviews in 2 years, am finding myself ,less about the variety and more about the relationships.

I guess you and I are in cat. 5 when it gets defined.  I too am older, married and your description is how I describe myself except I just started.

married males 46 and up.  Or married males 60 years and up.

Me thinks you need to do some more thinking about this.  You have a very limited view of who hobbies!

I find this post somewhat offensive (don't worry about it, I am not mad) because it glorifies 2 categories and bashes 2 others. It basically says that single males under age 35 are bad hobbyists and jerks. Then it says married/divorced over 35 males are somehow enlightened and better lovers. Naturally, I assume you are in category 3 or 4.

How many hobbyists from each of these age groups have you known personally?

I understand that you didn't do any researach and were only doing this for discussion, but I believe there is a MUCH greater variety of hobbyists than 4 categories. If there were only 4 types of hobbyists, providors would quickly get bored with us and not enjoy their work. I think providors enjoy what they do because of how many different types of men that they meet. Just my thoughts.

By the way, by age I am in category 2. The description was nowhere near describing me.

A single ten day trip to Costa Rica or Bogota will get me half way there. It's making sure I get to at least a dozen diferent countries that's the challenge. I have a couple of countries the I love so much, I keep going back for more, kinda like having an ATF, but for an entire country

Hardy you knew when you started this thread you were going to get a lot of shit from it.
You can't put all of us into only 4 cats, because someone will always get their feelings hurt and get all paranoid that you have sterotyped them into something they aren't.
I demand you appologize now for all the insults you have caused and termoil over this racial profiling, age discrimination,education or lack of,bank accounts, marital status, religion etc. BTW i am in cat 3 but @48 LOL
uc
ps you go gg 100/12 yes and gb22 good to read from you again.  

-- Modified on 2/6/2008 3:11:13 PM

As usual, you tend to think too much in black and white and not in the grey world that this truly is.   I doubt anyone here truly falls into one of these four categories entirely, and we each have our own unique motivations for doing what we do, which you far too often tend to question or sometimes even ridicule.  I'm not sure you can "sum up" our community at all really.

I'm interested to see to what degree their experiences, of us hobbiests, match with Hardy's conceptualization.

By the way, way get offended or insulted over what Hardy has to say. It's just his thoughts and opinions. Why give him so much power, that you would feel personally attacked. I just read it much like these quick personality tests you take online, or which are in a magazine article. You see the results from anwering the questions, and see how much of it fits for you, and how much does not.

So you just assume any guy over 35 is married or divorced. I am 41 and never married. I don't believe in marriage and I don't believe in love. I enjoy the hourly girlfriend and would not want to live with someone 24/7. Unless you are EXTREMELY lucky a marriage will fail. Hell, in my point of view all marriages fail, some just stay married out of convenience or fear of being alone.

b-

Marriage is for masochists. No thanks. Freedom and a vast variety of women in small doses keeps me happy.

...The list Hardy has drawn up on his own, or the fact that a few guys have taken offense to it.  After all, the list is purely subjective.  How would Hardy have the materials or experience to suggest the appropriate categories for hobbyists?  Based on what he's suggested, I'd say he probably drew these conclusions based on the personalities of this board, and therefore, his list is a good inspiration for thought and discussion.  

As a provider who has been around for several years, I can attest to statements that these four categories are pretty inadequate in describing hobbyists.  And because I've seen the personal characteristics he has described attributed to men of all ages, I wouldn't even use age at all, if I wanted to pigeonhole hobbyists into certain categories.  But like most of you, I realize there is a large gray area out there, that can make categorizing people - period - difficult and seemingly unfair.  Its a fun thought to ponder though, especially if we focus mainly on the more "eccentric" members of our community

I used to be much more idealistic, but, by now, to a great extent, you speak for me, balathazar.  I love the line in "Two Mules for Sister Sara," in which Hogan, responding to Sister Sara's view of how sad it is for him to be alone, says that he has a great life with women whenever he wants them "and none of them named Hogan."  "Love" really is an illusion.  The best that can be reasonably expected is SOME personal contact that's mixed in with the same business transaction that marriage entails.  Why not do that with the women whom one finds most attractive?

... fucks - rent it!  LOLOLOL

I'm kind of a #4 but would love to find a Mrs. Right.  I enjoy the relationships I have with my ATFs but also keep an eye open for that special woman to share my life with.

Don't fall into any of your classifications, though I fit into category 4 more closely.  Yes, with certain providers, I value the friendship more than the sex...the sex is a given, but the friendship has to to be built over multiple meetings, and is far more fulfilling.  Remember that providers are live, female human beings.  When that special connection is built, it makes the sessions far better, as it is not just sex...it's sex with a friend, someone you can trust, and talk with about life, the universe, and everything...

I have found that putting people into categories always leaves me "surprised" - and NOT in a good way.

and those of us who love our wives but at this age most (now, now..I didn't say "all!") women just want little to do with sex.  Children are raised and their hormones are shutting down.  Us guys still want, and need, the sex.

There's not much you can do to rekindle any desire with the SO, so we are looking for what that younger married category wants.  We're happy to have 90 minutes of kissing, hugging and one cum. We're not out to prove our virility to anybody - mainly because one is all we've got!

This is especially true for the men in this category who are "younger than their age" - stay in shape and have a sexual drive that isn't anywhere near being met at home.

We don't want a divorce and for many of us, we don't want the young providers - experience and compassion as much as passion is desired.

As usual ......................I'm right!

yawn. people said what I was going to say, I am bored not really offended. I posted something similar spinning the positive to single guys. I'm assuming you cheat on your wife or SO though, much more honorable than bragging of wealth!

I'm no prude; do what you will!. but I loathe people who have affairs trying to claim either moral or social high ground.

-M

-- Modified on 2/7/2008 8:10:52 PM