Does anyone think this will work?

Backstory: My wife left me recently and even though we still have love for each other, she's not coming back anytime soon for a number of reasons. Her only real weakness is that she is super jealous of any girl talking to me.

My strategy: I want to hire a girl to "run into me" at my wife's work place and start hitting on me in front of my wife. Nothing wild, just some pleasant conversation where she hands me her phony business card.

I love my wife and believe me if I can think of anything else to try, I would do it but I'm running out of ideas.

So, first of all, does anyone think that a provider will take on the job and does anyone think I'm totally insane?

Please share your thoughts. Thank you.

It's over.  I am saddened at your loss, but let her go.  She did you a favor and made her choice.  How can you live with someone who is blind with jealousy.  Do you really want to explain your every move, every call, every time your 10 minutes late for the rest of your life.  Get rid of her.

than you are mentioning.

Making her jealous is not the way.

Find out why she's not coming back and work on that.
We, as a group, can't give you any realistic advice until we know more than you are telling us.

Just my opinion...
B

Did you say insane? Yep, that's the answer. Of course, it helps to know why she left in the first place. That's probably the area to take corrective action.

Years ago I read a story by Judy Blume for teenagers in which the children of a divorcing couple believe that they can get their parents back together if they can only get them together in one room.  It does not work, and they finally realize it, and with that realization they gain some maturity.

I am afraid that your "plan" suffers from the same immaturity about relationships and contains a similarly far-fetched dream.

so you can move towards having a REAL relationship. This sort of thing breeds mistrust, and that's the real issue. Work on building the trust and being trust WORTHY.

just about the same as the wise folks who posted above.  Jealousy does not have a part to play in a mature relationship.
   Some of us "mature" folks come to the conclusion that sometimes in life things seem to happen for a reason ..... even those things that seem to be terrible at the moment.  We, of course, do not know what your wife would tell us your shorcomings are, but if she has been "super jealous", is she someone with whom you want to live the rest of your life?
   The advice given by those posting above can be summarized as: 1) move on; or, 2) work at the underlying problems (if it is not already too late).
   Why not see a marriage counselor on your own (probably a female) and then tell her you will pay for an initial session for your wife to consult with her.  In writing, tell your wife that you want to try to make the marriage work, that you have already seen a counselor, and and that you have made arrangements for her to see the counselor without having to pay.
   Good Luck.  Having someone to help cushion the potholes on the road of life is a gift.

Uh, no way, my friend.  Remember, the three phases of relationship withdrawal:  Sad, mad, glad.  You're in the sad phase right now.  Soon, you'll be mad.  Then, you'll be glad to be rid of the little witch.  Trust me on this.

If she's jealous of women talking to you why are you going to hire a woman to talk to you in front of her? Won't that just piss her off even more?

As others stated, this seems pretty high school ish.  Maybe you should have your friend ask her if she likes you "more than as a friend".

Go see a marriage counselor, they deal with this stuff all day long and will have much better avenues to fix the problems.

-- Modified on 9/13/2004 3:39:12 PM

I don't think your idea carries much merit, and of coure there is always two sides of the story. That fact that you have posted this question on this forum (I suspect), also might have something to do with it.

However assuming that the uncontrollable jealousy does exist, it will be extremely hard to change that behavior even with counseling. However on the other hand if you are giving her a reason to be jealous that behavior would seem to be easier to change.

Save the manipulation and the contrived games and look a little deeper into the true causes of your wife leaving you.   Because if what you posted is your best idea, then you really don't understand the situation and you're going to drive her farther away, not bring her back.  

If you're really serious about understanding what went wrong with your relationship, then get serious.  It sounds like you may need some professional help to navigate the passage, but its worth if if you want to save your marriage.

Shallow, silly sophomoric games won't get her back. The only way she'll come back is on her own accord. You can jump through all the hoops in the world in every contortion imaginable. If she wants a new life there won't be any stopping her.
  Hide your assets, hire a hit-man(oops I meant an attorney)and be glad for the hobby and for the way TER serves the hobby.

   Good luck

       Cm.

I think you need to be honest and generous with your communication. Think of the areas that she says are problems and really look and see if they are about you or about her. Own your part of everything and be honest with your self.

Do you want this marriage to work because you love her? Or is it that you don't want her to leave? There are no right answers, only what you want to create.

I know you know better than using the jealous card. Now think about what you really want and set about creating the possibility of it happening.

pounds of dynamite also.  Your suggestion about marriage counseling, along with that by Sedona and others concerning maturity is right on.

My 2 cents-

First, see a marriage counselor- by yourself and together.

Also, visit a divorce attorney but don't tell your wife or it will piss her off and the marriage counseling won't work. The purpose of the visit is to understand the ramifications, not to start a divorce. If the marriage counseling doesn't work, you need to understand what you are in for.

Good luck man.

There's a lot more going on here than is contained in your post.  You two need to explore WHY she behaves the way she does.  Has she ALWAYS been that way?  Have you changed recently, which might contribute to the problem?  Or could she have REASON to be jealous.  Don't forget, we guys like to think we're pretty slick, but more often than you might expect, our wives pick up on things.  She may not have proof, but that doesn't matter -- if she suspects you, that's all she needs.

You need to tell her how her behavior makes you feel.  Try to get her to talk.  Let her know how YOUR feelings.  Try to get her to consider counseling.  But don't pull the stunt you're considering.

old I Love Lucy episodes.  If you're both grownups a heart-to-heart should be in order.  If she's just not into it, and can only be coaxed back by trickery, then it's time to move on.