I had this thought after reading the link
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=365809&boardID=12&page=1

Since DATY is my fav...

What are your thoughts on DATY, good and bad?
Who rocked your world?

And WTF with the ladies who are like, "Oh, be oh so gentle because I'm soooo sensitive?" I'm thinking this is really just saying that they'd rather not do this. Am I FUBRed?

The gentleman I met last night needs to be nominated for the Daty Olympics!

Good:
Lots of attention to Miss Clit
Sloppy and wet
Gentle Suction mixed with rhymthmic tongue pressure

Great (for me):
Add G spot (yes, it exists!) stimulation via well placed (and clean) fingers, softly at first... then harder and faster as I close in on climax.

Not so good:
Dog lapping (imagine a dog lapping water from a water bowl)
Really light tongue flicking (ok that is just teasing!)

BAD:
Although I think facial hair is sexy, and even the 3 day unshaven look turns me on... PLEASE PLEASE do not rub your face on my pussy, labia, or clit. This is painful. Would you enjoy me taking a piece of sandpaper and polishing your schlong with it? Methinks NOT!

Biting is NOT cool. Not only does it hurt, it can cause injury to the lady making her unable to work later that day or for several days. You do not realize how sensitive that area can be. If you don't want it done to your balls, then don't do it to her clit.

These are just a few suggestions based on my preferences... Daty on!

With everything that goes on down there. I am sensitive, but doesn't mean I don't like it. Most guys have rough hands or use too much pressure. It's like working with mercury. An artform. LOL

With me a lot can go a long way. But just like a guy what turns me on the most is enthusiasm. Act like you love it and I will too.

Kisses,
Vanica Love

So much does depend on the lady & if she desires & enjoys it.  Personally, I enjoy offering DATY to my partner...  I enjoy feeling her respond to ME.  Of course that THRILLS me.  
But I say again, I do not GIVE my partner an O.  I give her my attention & what she does with it is what creates her O.  Another way of saying this is I am the motor but she's the driver.  I support her & give her the freedom to move to her satisfaction.  

I have had the Once in a Life Time Experience...  a Favorite Lady (breathlessly) said to me "If You Do That Again, I'll Have to Pay You!"  You can not BUY that kind of response.  
skb

I prefer it light, otherwise I'll get there too fast, or worse, get desensitized. Then it's not in the cards for at least another 20 minutes, :/

The reason women say "be gentle" is because some men think that sucking a woman's vulva is a good idea.  IMO, this should never be done unless requested.  Why?  Because when you suck the region around the urethral opening you injure the urethral opening.  The resulting effect is feeling like you have broken glass in your urine for days while it heals.  It's not a UTI it just feels like it.  It's awful.

I agree with her. However, if you have a beard (not stubble, but a beard of some kind), I don't mind if you use it on  me. Clean-shaven has one nice feel, beards have another and both work for me.

i dislike DATY for both physical and psychological reasons. physically, i do happen to be very sensitive in the area around my clitoris, to the point where even a light direct touch on my clitoris is painful. since that seems to be most men's focus when they DATY, it leads to very ouchie times for me.

however the physical side is only maybe 20%...psychologically, DATY makes me feel extremely uncomfortable, like the world is topsy-turvy, because a man is placed in a subservient type position. as a submissive woman this feels very very wrong and strange for me. even for that tiny percentage of men who claim they DATY simply for the pleasure of devouring a woman and care nothing about pleasing her...even with those men, i get that unpleasant subservient vibe. i also feel pressured to "relax" and enjoy something that is completely unnatural for me to enjoy.

basically, i would be a very happy camper if i could avoid experiencing daty again for the rest of my days on this planet.

but sloppy with a bit of nipping with the teeth...oh god. get the tongue deep in there...i have to hear the juices being slopped all over the place, grab my hips and force me even further in your mouth..

okay. thats the general gist. i cant say anymore..or i shall have to whip out a toy.

oh! and please, please....throw some finger action in it!! two fingers in, hook em to the front...

and thats all. sensitive? no. not for me. get down on it!!

I have a clit ring....any sort of sucking will instantly turn me off. It hurts like hell. I always warn anyone going down south that my clit is extremely sensitive...and yet I get a few deaf folks.

I had a client get my ring stuck in between their teeth, a few have pulled it, a few have sucked it really hard......all of the above ended the session.

Seriously it hurts really bad. and I will never repeat a session with them.

Licking it feels really good I think it is the added weight of the jewelry that gives the added sensation.

I LOVE it! So far, I've been very fortunate to meet hobbyists who are either talented or sincerely dedicated in making me, well, excited. From my experience, the only way DATY can utterly fail is if s/he just could care less about their performance. If this is the case, then I always suggest newer techniques that can benefit the both of us.

Personally, I get the "sensitive" remark. I don't know about other providers, but when I get excited my entire body begins to shiver and sweat almost uncontrollably. And, if the DATY is very intense at first, I could get excited to the point where it hurts... so normally I direct the hobbyist to other "zones" that need just as much attention. Or, we switch places; I always enjoy returning the favor.

Please don't interpret it as such! Just like men, women are all built differently, and some of us (*cough cough*) like a more delicate touch.

Dear Carrie:
If you have to write a pamphlet for performing DATY on you how would you write it and what would it have in it? Also what would you say and what clues would you give us so you would be at the pinnacle of your eroticism? Please take you time and elaborate in detail Ms. Hillcrest.

You just solved a long, unsolved riddle with my g/f. I think she is the same as you (and never really told me) and now I know why she felt that way when I offered/asked.

Thanks.

Enlightenment! How refreshing.

At least for me it's because I've cum so many times my clit is hypersensitive and needs a break!! DATY is the best thing ever!! Nothing like being the girl having the O's or the one giving the girl O's!!
XOXXOO
Sage

Would telling a guy you don't dig DATY be to assertive? So in order to be submissive you must submit to DATY even though you don't like it?

Because, you know, you CAN just say no, and I think most guys would honor that.

No, when we say be gentle, we mean be gentle. That doesn't mean we don't like it, that means we want to actually enjoy it. I read the link, shook my head, and moved on. My experience has been that there is a direct relationship between how much a man loves DATY, and how bad he is at it. The more they love it, the worse they are because they get too into it, are too rough, they want to suck on the clit like there is a strawberry shake hidden in there somewhere, they want to rub on it and wind up smashing it between their fingers and the pubic bone. And all that hard suction and rubbing just plain HURTS. Suckling is wonderful, sucking hurts. Lightly rubbing with fingers that are wet with saliva or her juices feels divine, but rubbing on a dry clit with even a little bit of pressure hurts.

If you love DATY, then go slow, be gentle, tease the clit ever so gently and softly with your tongue. You will see her clit slowly engorge and the juices start to flow. The softer the touch, the more sensitizing and arousing it becomes. The more aroused she becomes, the more her clit will engorge. When a woman is fully aroused, THEN a little more forceful licking and sucking becomes a pleasure. When she gets to the point that she just can't take it anymore, you will know because her hips start to move, her legs start to quiver, and suddenly you have an octopus wrapped around your face lol.

Ok, not all women are absolutely identical, but the message is pay attention to what her body does, not the sounds she makes. When a woman is aroused, her body will tell you. Her muscles will clench or tremble, her juices will flow, her breathing will become shallow and rapid, you might feel her abdomen go rigid just before orgasm.

But no, when we say be gentle, it doesn't mean we don't like it. That just means pay closer attention to her body, slow down, and be gentle

Please pardon me, as I may have misled a tad... I was thinking of a specific encounter with a provider, who was nice enough and did a fair job from her side of things. However, any touching seemed problematic, and I was definitely getting the vibe that she really didn't want nipple play, breast play, pussy play, DATY, etc.

I have done DATY with women who were more sensitive than others, but there was always a response to the effort. In the above case I think she was avoiding saying no, which was a shame. I'd much rather work on the ladies schedule, unless they are a very versatile provider, because I find I get a better overall experience if we keep things in her court, so to speak.

Dealing with the hardware is tough... you should write a little primmer on DATY with hardware for us all

Thanks to all. Very fun and sometimes enlightening.

I somewhat regret the rather clumsy reference RE: "the gentle thing" which was really about a specific experience with one provider, and really had no place in the discussion at hand.

John...all potential clients know my feelings about engaging in activities, sexual or non, with the goal or focus being my pleasure. so yes they know i do not care for daty, but a few seem to not really believe it so they try it anyway. and then of course there are those as i mentioned before who claim to not be concerned with a female's physical pleasure, and perform the act for purely selfish reasons. still, i can only tolerate it for a very very brief period...no more than a couple of minutes, maximum...at which point i try to politely stop the gent or if necessary, physically position myself in a way to make the act impossible.

as a submissive person, yes it is my nature to surrender or give in to things in order to please others, even very difficult and unpleasant things. the only reason i stop daty with clients after a couple of minutes is because any more than that and it will place me in a very bad place mentally, preventing me from providing proper service.

...they had three other guys gnawing on the same spot earlier that day.

(The truth hurts, as does excessive DATY.)

Being gentle and following her queues makes a big difference on how much she will enjoy DATY with you.

Xoxo.

I'm no sex expert. When it comes to sex, you could say I am "book smart" but not "street smart." But I have read a lot about male/female relationships.

I have concluded that, fantasy aside, sex between a client and escort is, for the escort especially, VERY different from sex between a man and a woman who have freely chosen each other as mates.

In the real world, women use a huge number of very sophisticated mechanisms for choosing their mates. Some are seemingly superficial -- such as the ability to hold a decent job. Others are quite esoteric, such as her ability to distinguish whether his immune system is such that by mating with him, offspring will have a greater chance of survival. (A woman subconsciously senses this within 3 seconds of meeting. If he isn't compatible, she finds him unattractive notwithstanding other factors.)

In the real world, then, women in actuality find a relatively small number of men attractive. While *which* men are attractive will vary depending on the women; the number of men each woman finds attractive will be fairly small relative to the available population of men.

Okay. So what does this have to do with DATY?

Modern men are told incessantly -- even by such as the Love Goddess -- that 90% of women's orgasms are stimulated clitorally. The science behind that is fairly strong. And they are told the best way to accomplish this is through DATY. There are entire books instructing men on how to do it.

Evolutionary theories abound on why women have orgasms at all; but some new data is interesting. Orgasm increases the chance of conception. Likewise, men (subconsciously) register the female orgasm as a sign of her attachment to him and fidelity.

There are two important aspects of this.

First, in order to have an orgasm, a woman must be in the right frame of mind because brain scans of women as they were stimulated to orgasm by their partners indicate that a prerequisite for female orgasm is a sort of "letting go." This "letting go" is far more likely in the presence of a familiar male with whom the woman feels safe. And studies also indicate that her odds of having an orgasm increase with her perception of the attractiveness of the man.

As orgasm increases the odds of conception substantially. In the era of the "raping and pillaging barbarian hordes," this reduces the chances of conception through rape while increasing chances of conception in the case of males who she freely chooses through affection and biological advantage. (Isn't the female an amazing creature?!) In addition, studies show married women have a lot more orgasms per sex act than unmarried women. Why? Because the very fact the man is *committed* to her makes a difference!

Second, even though he doesn't understand and can't articulate why ... many men will want any woman with whom he mates to experience orgasm. It is an indicator of bonding, acceptance, and a greater likelihood that any offspring she bears will be his own. Men with this desire are unlikely to differentiate their responses in this regard between escorts and civie relationships because unlike women; their pool of mates that they would freely choose is extremely large compared to the population of women as a whole.

So ... let's look at this within the context of an appointment between a client and an escort.

Prior to meeting, he supplied her with a great deal of personal information. She checked him against a sex offender registry, checked him against a couple of blacklists, called up the last two escorts he saw and made sure he wasn't dangerous, a cop, or a thief. She analyzed his every word in email and voice conversations looking for risk factors.

Even so, when he walks into the room with the escort for the first time, she is extremely aware of the various threats he could present. That's why all the debates about when/how to count the money. And that is among the least of those threats.

(Guys: have you ever brought a gym bag to an appointment and had the escort express interest/concern about what you might have in the bag?)

Such a mindset is much closer to that of the woman accosted by the barbarian hordes than a woman with a man who makes her feel safe. Her odds of orgasm decline.

Moreover, the commitment element is missing. Hell, she just chatted with the last two women he laid and she knows the odds are that she is only going to see him ONCE. Her odds just declined some more.

Then, there is a 50/50 chance his immune system is incompatible. And, if he is any older than 50, odds are even worse because his immune system may be weak even if otherwise compatible. I gather most clients are 50+; so let's make it a 75% chance that there is no immune match. This effect can be masked by using birth control pills, but that mutes other things, so we'll leave that out. So -- odds are 3 out of 4 that this is a man who, within 3 seconds of meeting, she would never choose as a voluntary sex partner. Her odds just declined some more.

And, finally, there are the other factors. Many hobbyists are old, out of shape, etc. Age difference up to 7 years is fine -- that can actually make a man seem more attractive. But beyond 7 years? Although it isn't always a problem, it certainly can be. And by the time the difference is 12 years, in most cases we are talking total turn off. Then the big bellies. Most women find strength attractive, and big bellies are incompatible with strength.

And, of course, although it is ironic -- many (not all, but many) providers, at a core visceral level, automatically evaluate ANY man who would see them in that role as a bad mate choice. They won't admit this, but I believe it is true in many cases. MacDaddy wasn't as much of an abberation as we guys like to think. The odds of her orgasm just went through the floor.

In wanders Mr. Hobbyist. He has a desire for the woman to have an orgasm for reasons of evolution he can't articulate. To HIM, she seems a perfectly suitable mate choice. That's because he evolved that way. And he has just read about 26 books and articles about how indispensible DATY is, how to do it, etc etc etc.

What he has missed is that ALL of that material pertains to circumstances in which the woman chose him freely as a mate.

It is incompatible with a circumstance in which the woman with whom he will be having sex is, in aggregate, almost 95% likely to have NEVER desired him as a mate, and she has profound concerns for her personal safety to boot.

In the former case, with a civie partner with lots of communication; DATY may be just what the doctor ordered.

But in the latter case?

It would seem to me, that, protestations of providers and hobbyists to the contrary, DATY with many (though not all) escorts is a waste of time and could only serve to aggravate the escort -- no matter how well it might be performed technically.

I am sure in some cases it is a little different. Maybe in the case of an escort and client who have seen each other many times so there is a comfort level, the age difference is close, the immune systems match up, etc. And, maybe in the case of super highly sexed escorts. But I frankly think these are a minority as female sex addicts are 4 times more rare than male sex addicts.

So, overall, just from book learning, I actually believe escorts who do not appreciate DATY from clients are quite common. They simply ENDURE it.

That's why it is called "work."

Okay -- call me cynical. Tell me I'm wrong. CONVINCE ME.

then I kept scrolling and said to myself "self, WTF, do you really have the time or desire to read all this?"

So sorry if I did not get value. Again, not pissed.

No matter the DATY technique, a certain indeterminate percentage of escorts are unlikely to enjoy DATY or experience orgasm with an old, out of shape, immunologically incompatible whoremonger who, just minutes earlier, they were afraid might try to rape, murder or rob them.

or a hobby (obviously this one doesn't suit you well)!  Do you actually think anyone reads your rambling 15000 word posts, with your load of "facts"?  Really though...immune system match?
Where do you get this stuff?  More important...WHY do you get this stuff.
We are NOT impressed, nor amused, only red eyed, and pissed that we even spent 2 min scrolling thru this to see how long this one would be!
Give it a rest John....you think too much and fuck too little!!

I won't challenge your poor red eyes and aching head. Just go to Google, and type "immune system mate choice" into the box (without the quotes).

I don't talk out of my ass, whippersnapper. There are facts to back me up.

Hey, I'm a guy. I could always stand to fuck more. But that doesn't necessarily require thinking less.

Knowledge is the power to fulfill your desires. Even the desire to fuck.

very interesting actually, however i believe your logic is a bit myopic in certain areas and also relies far too heavily on stereotypical, somewhat outdated generalizations relating to gender.

as for the female orgasm, i've long held my own theories about the reasons behind that. it serves no real biological purpose imo, and is simply a physiological leftover of the reproductive system of the human male, a wisdom tooth of sorts. the chances of a female orgasm occurring at the proper moment and pace in order to help power sperm up through the cervix and into the uterus are much slimmer than many researchers in the field seem willing to acknowledge. it is also a reality that "raping and pillaging" is a long-used and very effective form of psychological warfare and genocide. impregnating the females of the enemy via rape has been very successful throughout history. so the argument that conception is far less likely when a female is not willing simply does not hold water.

you seem to also make many assumptions not simply about the methods by which provider select clients, but also about the "mate" selection process for females in general. i happen to carefully select and screen my clients not merely for safety, but also for chemistry and compatibility. if i feel no genuine connection with a man, i will not see him as a client. perhaps i am unusual in this, but it should not be assumed that we all take on clients with whom  we'd never sexually interact in any other circumstance.

on "mate" selection, i do not feel that human female sexuality is limited to "mate selection," or ever has been. we humans are unique among most of the animal species on this planet in that we are biologically wired for sexual intercourse completely outside of reproduction. any day of the month, any season of the year, and even when both male and female are beyond reproductive years...we maintain the sexual drive and urge.
this means that obviously many more factors play into the selection of sexual partners, or even sexual attraction, than mere mate selection.

you also mentioned significant age differences (which you defined as more than 7 yrs) decreasing the likelihood of a woman finding a man desirable. i strongly disagree with this, as a woman who has never been attracted to a man less than 10 years my senior. even my body repels at the thought of touching or being touched by men beneath this range. my first boyfriend was 31 yrs my senior, and my Husband is almost 20 yrs my senior. older men and younger women are the perfect biological fit imo, it is only certain cultural conditioning that leads some to feel otherwise.

oh, one more way in which i do not fit your theories: i am a woman who very rarely orgasms simply because i have no desire to orgasm. however if such a thing happens, it is far more likely to happen with a man with whom i feel no emotional connection or bond.

so what do you make of all that, Mr.? lol

-- Modified on 1/28/2010 10:25:25 AM

You are right about some of my assumptions contrasting provider choice of clients with female choice of mates. There are most assuredly some cases where a provider uses criteria similar to, if not identical, in choosing clients (beyond the first visit) as she would in choosing a boyfriend.

But that's why I specified the first visit, because I'm aware of that limitation. Still, since I select providers (especially for later visits) with nearly the same criteria I would use in choosing a girlfriend -- I should have made greater allowance that at least some providers might do similarly. In fact, I know some who do precisely that.

And, of course, that would blow my thoughts right out of the water. Especially for appointments after the first.

So I accept that you are right about that, especially since my own personal experiences confirm your point of view rather than my own. LOL I'll administer a gentle thump to my head. (*grin*)

Rape has certainly been, historically, a successful reproductive strategy. Just look at what percentage of people on earth have Genghis Kahn's DNA.

So orgasm only changes the odds.

But I'm not sure we disagree completely. If orgasm increased the odds of conception by, say, 5% (I'm just pulling that number out of thin air) -- that wouldn't be enough to cancel out the reproductive strategy represented by rape on any appreciable scale. We might both be right.

I don't think orgasm in the female is just a vestigial byproduct. That's because we all start out not as males in the womb -- but as females; and then differentiate based on genetics and hormones provided by the mother. Orgasm feels pretty darned good, and pleasure is a powerful motivator.

As for issues of age -- I am looking at averages. These things will certainly be different for every person. So the fact that you differ from that doesn't necessarily invalidate it.

It's kind of like me. Personality is more important to me in a provider than looks. And, given my druthers, I frankly have a fairly strong tendency toward monogamy and greatly aspire to never have a big long list of reviews. But anyone who used ME as a general example of a hobbyist would draw some very incorrect conclusions about male hobbyists generally.

So I'm not sure either your anecdotal experience or my own invalidates the overall tendencies.

I may have one other error in my reasoning; induced by simple human nature.

I see lots and lots of threads about screening, verification, and counting the money. As a result, these seem to me to be very big concerns for providers. Often these things are seriously highlighted on their websites and the provider might as well be issuing Top Secret clearances. What is their purpose?

Well, overall, to assure the provider's safety and (indirectly) that of her other clients.

In that environment, which seems to me to be an environment of at least near-fear, I just don't think it is highly likely for a woman to be relaxed enough on a first visit. Some might be. And subsequent visits may be very different because all of that "Is he going to murder me?" stuff is squared away.

Anyway -- for all practical purposes, I'm going to concede that I think you're right and I'm wrong on half of this -- and on the other half I'm still studying.

And I'm GLAD you are right. LOL

In other words...

You can DATY all ya want as a man whore, but some of these hookers, flat do not want ur tongue on they pussy, an far be it they would want to give evidence that the old fat fucker made her cum. She must hid it. Gotcha

That was Mongerese, its a relatively new language spoken by most serious ass hobbyist, except you I guess Fuzzy Phallus. Not sure what the hell he speaks, I guess dick-talk getting it's root in dicktation.

Some of my basic assumptions above aren't valid. There are most assuredly some cases where a provider uses criteria similar to, if not identical, in choosing clients (beyond the first visit) as she would in choosing a boyfriend.

As I select providers (especially for later visits) with nearly the same criteria I would use in choosing a girlfriend (though not identical) -- I should have made greater allowance that at least *some* providers might do similarly. In fact, I know some who do precisely that.

And, of course, that would blow my thoughts right out of the water. Especially for appointments after the first.

Rape has certainly been, historically, a successful reproductive strategy. Just look at what percentage of people on earth have Genghis Kahn's DNA.

So orgasm only changes the odds.

I don't think orgasm in the female is just a vestigial byproduct. That's because we all start out not as males in the womb -- but as females; and then differentiate based on genetics and hormones provided by the mother. Orgasm feels pretty darned good, and pleasure is a powerful motivator.

As for issues of age -- I am looking at averages. These things will certainly be different for every person. So the fact that a given woman differs from that doesn't necessarily invalidate it.

It's kind of like me. Anyone who used ME as a general example of a hobbyist would draw some very incorrect conclusions about male hobbyists generally.

So I'm not sure anecdotal experience invalidates the overall tendencies.

I may have one other error in my reasoning; induced by simple human nature.

I see lots and lots of threads about screening, verification, and counting the money. As a result, these seem to me to be very big concerns for providers. Often these things are seriously highlighted on their websites and the provider might as well be issuing Top Secret clearances. What is their purpose?

Well, overall, to assure the provider's safety and (indirectly) that of her other clients.

In that environment, which seems to me to be an environment of at least near-fear, I just don't think it is highly likely for a woman to be relaxed enough on a first visit. Some might be. And subsequent visits may be very different because all of that "Is he going to murder me?" stuff is squared away.

Anyway -- for all practical purposes, I'm going to concede that I'm wrong on half of this -- and on the other half I'm still studying.

And I'm GLAD.

I got to stop reading your shit for sure.

So you can rest assured there's a lot of worthwhile info there.

My error is one of DEGREE -- not existence.

If you think that every single provider out there is just dying to have any and every random hobbyist lick her pussy, you are wrong.

This is not only true for DATY, this could be said for most of the experiences shared with a John.
After all it is a business and I very much doubt that any woman can emotionally attach herself to so many men.
Sooner or later even the best and most exciting thing becomes boring.
Even the most srudly man would change his opinion on sex if he had to do it 5 to 10 times everyday.

Men are pretty oblivious to this, since their ego and sexual drive clouds their judgements.
Reviews are just the extension of their fantasies and purchased conquests.
A flowery review usually hides the reality.

IMHO

Why pissed off? I admit to the boredom problem.

Believe me, I generally have a rather jaundiced eye when it comes to believing providers telling me how big my schlong is, etc.

However, as with any female orgasm, there is a range of physiological responses, and some are a bit unmistakable. However, I digress...

I was merely trying to elicit some thoughts on the matter of DATY - which was prompted by a specific session I experienced (which I did not explain well). I love the boards because it tells me a lot about folks (mainly the providers) that I might not get from their web ads.

I might see someone (or not) because of how they present themselves on the board, regardless of their appearance, and I admit to putting value on some specific physical traits when selecting a provider.

Namely, that we have used the boards to select providers ... though the criteria we use likely differs.

And -- I agree, certain physiological responses are unmistakable.

So far, thank goodness, the providers I have seen have known better than to embarrass themselves by faking an orgasm; because I really don't need my ego stroked that way.

What I found most interesting in the thread was a couple of ladies basically admitting they don't like clients performing DATY, but allow it for the money.

"What I found most interesting in the thread was a couple of ladies basically admitting they don't like clients performing DATY, but allow it for the money."

really, from whom? i clearly missed these comments, but would love to see them. it would give me great comfort to know that i am not the only female on earth who does not like DATY, lol.

btw, some of us allow DATY not "for the money," but simply because it is what will please the gent we are sexually serving.

Oh hell. I know some providers have faked Os and moaning etc. They don't have to "like it" to allow it...

And thats fine. It's all part of the fantasy.

It may seem like a distinction without a difference, but the distinction is in fact important; and I used a sloppy shortcut.

Yes, the DATY is not allowed "for money" -- it is allowed to please the client. That is a couple of steps removed from "for the money," and I think it makes an important difference.

"How do we do it? Some of us don’t. I have never had an O with a client and I am certain I never will.

When it comes to a client's looks, I close my eyes most of the time. After all, it is all about the money, at least for me.

DATY doesn't feel good with clients, nor does much of anything else."

Yes, I think this is fairly common. I can't quantify it because I'm not going to put every provider in the country on a polygraph and grill them. LOL

wow, i must admit those words were shocking for me to read. that sounds like someone who loathes the very idea of sex with men in an escort situation, who is disgusted by the men it attracts. if that describes the feelings and motivations of the typical provider, then i am saddened, but also very grateful that i am very far from being the typical provider.