There have been guys with great reputations. They decide to quit the hobby and do something mean on their last appointment, like beat up a provider or not pay. I have heard stories where a provider has seen a guy for 2 years every month then at the end he does not pay.

There are probably more than a few good reasons, but the most important is "because that is MY choice." Just as it is yours to pass and move on.

However, do not think that withholding your last name means that they do not have it

Re: Saftey yes, but in reality it's to find a bad client after something goes wrong.

Some agency girls check ID upon arrival....I guess that agency do the same.

We give our full name to a lot of people on a daily basis...most of them we do not know(stores, customer services, etc etc) what's the big deal??

That if someone isn't fully safe and screening with you they were not with the guys before you.

Now lets say that the guy before you did something serious to her, you wouldn't want to be the one to show up and find this situation in your hands, or be the Name and # next on her list for LE when they find the situation.

I understand your concerns with not wanting to get busted but the ladies have those same concerns and more. A study shown that women brunt over 80% of the risk in this business. Arrested and prosecuted 80% more then men are. hurt raped and or murdered nearly 98% more then clients are. So who do you think has more reason to be concerned for safety and freedom?

Everyone is concerned about this, the women do to also have families to worry about other careers, I know if word got out what I do in my day job I would be done for, no one would ever hire me again, so making 100% sure I am safe and my freedom is secure.

The trick to this is to find someone with a great reputation and smart enough to not keep the info after you have met. I know any info I get is never stored on my computer or phone (online file only in a secure location) and once I have seen you, all I keep is First name Last Initial and email address. Again still never on any hard drive. It can be a pain in the ass from time to time but I never Save my passwords to any of my accounts that relate to this, and I use mobile browsers. What can I say I am Anal about my Safety and privacy.

Sorry for the rant...

You can always tell her that you came to the room first to check her out and that the actual client with that name is waiting in the car for your OK.

Rover?  Spot?

so she can clearly see that my name is indeed, Old Yeller.

True story (using the dogs name), though I only mentioned it as a tongue-in-cheek remark.  

I've only been asked for ID 2 times. And each time they did, I knew before hand it was coming. Fake ID's - I have several. They are cheap and easy to come by. Hell, if you look enough like someone, you can borrow one. Under 21 kids get away with it day in and day out. Ya never wondered why the supposedly 21+ nightclub always has so many girls walking around looking like jailbait?

No I did not have one with the dogs name, but in that particular case I knew I wouldn't be asked, I only used it because I'd forgotten to think of a name before I called - she was one of those girls whose idea of screening was recieving an unblocked call and grabbing your crotch upon arrival. Oh, and lets not forget the always important - are you a cop? Because cops never lie about not being a cop. *rolls eyes*  

But I certainly could get one with the Dogs name - Kodi...uh...Blackpaw. Sounds kinda badass.    

unknown"I will never divulge my last name and in almost 20 years of participating in the hobby it has never been an issue until now."


  The best way to break rules, is not get caught.
  A realistic fake ID can be bought for  less than a $100.00, or easily make it yourself.
 Email alias,no problem.
 There are places you can rent a land line  phone number, with your fake name.
 How bad is your desire to see her?
 Personally I think provider references amongst themselves, with John cell numbers that match,is the safest route, but I'm not a provider.
If I was, prices would skyrocket out of "everyone's" range.
If I were half as worried as you about being caught, I would wear a mask everywhere, to fool the cameras, and I wouldn't drive my car.
Unless you are a politician or a sports star, you're not as important as you think you are.
Your last name is generic to the agency or indy.
I hope everyone,especially providers, realizes how much personal info can be obtained from a license plate.
Back to your regular programming.

L...O...L

Well, I'd say the name I give you would be as real as the one you give me. You wanna keep your real identity hidden, as do I. In that regard, "dishonesty" is quid pro quo. The expectation that WE should be more forthcoming than YOU, is absurd.

The fact that you DO keep records of every client you've seen only strengthens our justification for gaurding our identities. You are not LE proof, no matter what you think, and we don't want to get tangled in your mess when/if (god forbid, I don't wish it) you find that out. Furthermore, the damage you could do with the information entrusted to you, if you had the mind to, is not something a wise man leaves to chance.

You may think it is ok because YOU know you are trustworthy and smart...but WE don't. The same as I know I am no threat to you, even though you don't, and so I can breeze past your screening with the identity of my choice without feeling any guilt about it. No harm no foul.

I don't encourage anyone to be "dishonest and shady", I encourage them not to foolishly divulge personal info simply because you ask. I don't know that you're anymore trutworthy than the guy who e-mails me saying that the King of Unga Bunga needs my help to cash a check.    

Don't try to make it a moral issue, it's not. Has nothing to do with honor or character. In what world is seeing hookers, or being one, a matter of honor? It has only to do with the fact that I am not going to leave my ass hanging in the wind, to get burned later if YOU fuck up, or go on the war path.

"Dirty, disgusting, vile, classless"...these are all opinions of society at large, about sex workers, AND the men who see them. Having a real name is supposed to change this how? It doesn't change anything about what you do with them behind the closed door. Either it IS all of those things, or it isn't, regardless if I am insert-real-name-here, or Fred Flintstone.

And no, I don't think you can get "pretty danged close". No matter how much you know about him, information being true or false, it is still a stranger coming to your door. A stranger with a name is still a stranger. The only difference is what form of recourse you might have after the fact.  

And I'm well aware of the methods used to dig up information that is not voluntarily given. I worked for a debt collection agency during my first year of college in which my only function was to locate people who didn't want to be found. And people who took any of the simple commen sense steps to avoid it, got their wish, they fell of the radar.

The internet has limited reach, and it can't find what isn't put out there in the first place. It CAN find whatever information is left there for you TO find, which may be what I WANT you to find. And I don't mean to make it sound all double-O-seven, because it's not. Anyone with a bit of resourcefulness can figure out how to skip past an escorts screening process.

All you can do is put your measures in place to improve your odds of safety. And you should. Many guys are too trusting and too oblivious of the potential consequences and make it easy for you. And most scum bags and vice cops (a redundancy, I know) will look for easier targets than a woman who puts up those kind of road blocks. For those of us just looking for some leisure time, maybe we think you're worth the small effort it takes to dance around your screening - take it as a compliment

Just sayin, if anyone really wants to get to you, for whatever reason, asking for their last name won't do shit for you, like most other screening measures that you think are air tight.

Yes, seriously.

You'd find out? How? Oh, let me guess, "you have ways", yeah that's getting redundant. No use in arguing that point, I'm sure you're a regular  P.I., congrats.  

According to your website, Date-Check or RS2K would get me in the door. Or I could just give you reputable and easily verifiable references, which are legit by the way, minus the fact that none of them know my real name - they didn't need to. And surprisingy, even without that little tid bit of information they are alive and well, didn't get ripped off, and would have nothing bad to say about me (other than I'm fat, loud, ugly, have a little dick, can't fuck and worst of all...secretly Italian! - hey, nobody's perfect ) Either way.

But I digress.

Never did I say taking precautons is not valuable. In fact I very deliberately said they were - check further down the thread. I only stated that many of you over estimate their effectiveness - in a nutshell, along with pointing out the OP's original statement, that the use of a last name is well, no use at all for your safety, but potentially detrimental to ours.

Tit for tat? Websites (heresay from the mouth of a salesperson), a ladies "history" (WTF is that?), reviews, back channel, and "many other things" (like what?)...ok, thanks for listing off a bunch of shit that all equates to the exact same information.

All I know about you is what a bunch of other dudes tell me, which is exactly what you'd know about me by checking my references. Yes, I have the advantage of some blurred out pictures, whatever good that does me in the interest of protecting my privacy, eh, none.

I am not disregarding a ladies safety when jumping over her hoops because the very thing she is trying to potentially protect herself from is me, and I obviously know my own intentions, don't ya think? Come again?

In most instances there is no need for any crativity on my part. For most, references are enough, which I have plenty of.    

Don't take shit so personally. Screen as hard as you want to, lady, no one suggested you shouldn't.    

 

 

Hi SolaLove,

I agree with your primary thrust -- that a guy using fake identity and encouraging others to do so is ethically problematic. As far as I am concerned; I only see women with discernible ethics anyway and if I have a problem with a particular woman knowing my name, then I shouldn't be getting naked with her to start with.

But I disagree to some extent with your notion that because providers have websites, reviews and backchannel, a hobbyist's safety is assured in a process with extreme differences in levels of personal disclosure.

Anybody can set up a provider website, usually for free. I even set one up for my chickens once as a spoof and demonstration site to help a local lady learn how to use escortsite features. Really. The sites are offshore, anonymous and usually effectively untraceable for anything short of a murder. Even those hosted domestically are usually concealed via proxy registration that is only penetrable via search warrant/LE involvement. The fact that someone has set up an anonymous and untraceable website speaks AGAINST their credibility, not for it. When I do a whois lookup on a provider's domain and it returns her real name and address, THEN it will provide credibility. Until then it is just neutral information that could have been constructed by anyone.

Reviews do not tell me anything about how a woman handles sensitive personal information. MANY hobbyists, some very credible people, have reported that they have had unfavorable reviews yanked due to very highly-reviewed providers threatening to out them to their spouses. Thus, some of these high review numbers can be skewed by threats and are not necessarily meaningful in some cases. And even if they were meaningful, they only pertain to what happens during an actual session. The fact that a woman is a great french kisser doesn't necessarily reflect her trustworthiness outside of a session; NOR -- most importantly -- does it guarantee that her spouse, boyfriend, best buddy or other person doesn't have access to hobbyist information that could be disclosed if the relationship went south. How many providers who have boyfriends or other persons handle hobbyist screening information disclose that fact on their websites? None. So a hobbyist assumes unknown third-party risks of disclosure.

Furthermore, there is ample evidence that there is a population of providers out there who absolutely cannot be trusted with a hobbyist's personal information. Look no further than the National Blacklist. Look at the front page for your area. Look at the hobbyists whose real names and employers are now showing up in Google along with their status as hobbyists. NOW look at the reason they were outed. Yes, sometimes -- and quite appropriately -- for violence or theft. But 50% of the time it is for (unverified) NCNS or being a "timewaster" whatever that is. Can you IMAGINE the hue and cry if providers' real names were outed in a Googleable format for NCNS or time wasting? But my point is that you have objective evidence before your eyes that a goodly number of providers WILL, in fact, disclose personal information of hobbyists for things that may merit being on a personal DNS but certainly do not justify outing. This problem is pervasive enough that hobbyists who are reticient to disclose personal information have a rational basis for their concern.

Then there is the backchannel, but it is of limited utility. When so many reviews have been yanked due to threat of personal disclosure; nobody knows who the right guy is to ping to find out if a given provider issues such threats. Sure, I get pings from hobbyists about providers I have reviewed; but how is anyone to know to ping me over a provider who showed up at my house and I didn't review? (That's hypothetical, not real, thankfully.) And guys like me who try to keep their sex-partner count down and don't review much don't have access to the RO boards. So the utility is far from ubiquitous.

So I do not believe that the fact provider's have anonymously registered offshore untraceable websites, reviews about their sexual skills and that a backchannel exists sufficiently justifies the differential in personal disclosure.

Furthermore, if I am to believe what some providers post; most hobbyists are 100 lbs overweight, get winded on their way to the incall, smoke 3 packs of unfiltered camels daily, are too stupid to wash their ass and are on the verge of a major coronary. It would seem that the major physical risk most of them pose would be getting out of the way so the provider isn't crushed when she yells "boo" and has the hobbyist collapse from a heart attack. (The preceding paragraph isn't intended seriously, it is tongue-in-cheek humor.)

In my opinion, the only thing that can justify that differential in disclosure for ME is my personal confidence in the particular individual provider's ethics. That is why ethics is the single most important and overriding factor that I analyze pertaining to a provider and everything else takes a back seat. I don't see a generic "provider." A generic provider is just like a generic hobbyist -- an ethical crapshoot and provably risky as hell. But an INDIVIDUAL provider, who is a distinct and unique human being complete with her own character and ethics; is NOT an ethical crapshoot and so the differential in disclosure can be justified.

To a certain extent, we all view the world through eyes that use ourselves as a baseline. To me, it is unimaginable that anyone would hurt or steal from a provider -- simply because I'd never do it myself. Yet it happens, and so the screening that I believe is superfluous and needlessly invasive when applied to me is clearly necessary overall.

Similarly, it is unimaginable to you that a provider would misuse hobbyist information or make it available to third parties because you'd never do it yourself. Yet, some providers DO misuse the information, and hence hobbyists are wise to be selective about what they reveal and to whom.

Because humans tend to evaluate risks as being higher than they actually are (which is a good survival trait), it is no surprise that a provider would require a guy with 80 reviews PLUS a thumbs up from the provider's personal friend to reveal information that really isn't needed for her ACTUAL safety in that case. Likewise, it is no surprise that a hobbyist might have real concerns about revealing that data, even to a lady with stellar ethics who poses no ACTUAL risk of inappropriate disclosure.

Because the volume and speed of the hobby doesn't typically lend itself well to a very careful and considered approach; there will be overkill on both sides with "one size fits all" precautions.

I DO reveal my personal data; but only to women whose character as individuals -- not as "providers" -- has passed muster.

Sola... Only one thing scares the crap out of me and that is a crazy provider who gets something up their ....
If a certain provider we know did not know the real name of pandora she would not have been outed. Giving our real info sets me up for an outing or blackmail! Not violent but probably more damaging!

Can't there be a better way? I do not ask for your real identity and the funny thing is even when I do know a providers real name I still call her by her Hobby name.  Its not important. I guess I am naive when I ask how many gents with good references commit an act of violence on a provider. An that is the only reason you need real info.