TER General Board
Negotiation. I would appreciate thoughts from providers.
Many FS provider ads are quite firm in their "I don't negotiate" stance.
I have wondered about paying for a number of sessions in advance and obtaining a discount in that manner. Many providers (that I have run across) do not like extensive discussions on money and I have respected that.
Any thoughts on paying for x getting y (y is some value greater than x)? (I have seen this for provider-style massages.)
I would think the hobbyist has most of the risk...if the provider leaves town, leaves the business, etc.....that's the roll of the die.
-- Modified on 6/3/2002 8:22:00 PM
Sometimes its a lot cheaper just to pay the price they ask.
Among providers' principal dislikes are hobbyists who try to negotiate them down, whether by $25 or $200.
That is a sure way to reduce the quality of service, and to antagonize the lady forever.
Can you picture Rhett Butler or Warren Beatty chiseling down a provider? It may be a class thing too. Chiseling and bargaining are widely considered not to be upper class behavior.
Advance payment is also a sure way to waste and lose money with providers. Been there. Loan a desperate lady $500 for an emergency, and you will probably never see it or her again. Been there a few times with ladies I'd seen several times.
One coed I knew borrowed tuition money from five different guys, and was not even enrolled. She was a fantastic f**k however and gave endless bbjteoku. LOL
People do not like to repay loans. Try reporting one of those to a credit reporting agency. LOL.
I know it's in the blood and DNA of many New Yorkers to chisel away in every aspect of living.
I lived there as a young lawyer for almost a decade.
I've seen New Yorkers try to bargain with vending machines!
It must be the stuff you see and breathe in the air when you fly in and out, or aberrant behavior brought on by overpopulation, crowding, and just maybe plain and simple obsessive primitive greed.
My humble advice is to pick providers at a price level where you are comfortable. Put the cash on the table as soon as you decide to stay around. Be a perfect gentleman. Enjoy the experience. Don't be a schmuck, or you'll wind up on the "Providers Great List of Schmucks & A**Holes" and never again get laid, not even by a swamp creature or a wife. LOL
-- Modified on 6/4/2002 8:54:33 AM
more than once a month), then negotiation is acceptable. Have only done it once. A provider charged $600 for 2/hr. It could get expensive, so I proposed paying her normal rate the first time I saw her each month, and to pay a discounted $400 2/hr. for each subsequent visit during that month. She understood the business side of my proposal and agreed rather than being silly and sticking to her "quoted rates". Unfortunately, other things got in our way (my fault honey)and we stopped seeing each other shortly there after. But I will always remember her great attitude on this subject, and her class. May see if I can revive that agreement sometime in the future. I have also turned down offers of "freebies" and discounts from lower priced providers just to keep the business nature of our relationship from being clouded. Bottom line: Do it with class. To try and get a $300/hr escort to knock off $50/$100 on your first meeting is tacky.
in that it will lead to the loss of your money. I agree with Lost Schlong, the quickest way to lose a favorite provider (and for that matter a friend) is to loan them money. It just doesn't work the same as a retainer with a lawyer.
A prepayment to a provider has the same personal dynamic as a loan. How do I know? Ummmm yep! I did that. Helped a local provider by providing some materials and services that she was in desperate need of. Understanding was to trade it out. Was I stupid? Yes, Oh So Stupid. All of the sudden she was just too busy and had a litany of excuses. Completely my fault.
Same thing happened to a friend. He helped another lady with her computer, installed modem, sound card, etc. Did she reciprocate? Nope! She was too tired, then was PMSing, and then started her period. This was someone I had Excellent experience with when I PAID.
The lesson I learned was to trade cash for services AT the time of service. The value of any service decreases exponentially from the time it was rendered. -or- "But what did you do for me TODAY"
As for negotiating price, If it is for a whole weekend, maybe. Don't try to chisel someone on their hourly rate though. When someone trys that on me, I immediately walk away. I know that if they are that price sensitive, they are also likely to complain about the service and not want to pay when the bill is due. It will get you hung up on in a hurry.
Frankly, to begin with, I feel like my rate is low enough right now that I wouldn't lower it for this kind of situation to give someone a "deal." Plus I would find it distasteful to be *beholden* to someone in that way... I don't know what may come up, I might get sick, or move, or *whatever*, but I would hate to have something like that hanging over my head. I know there are some ladies who are open to this kind of bargaining, but personally I feel like our gentlemen are much safer in general sticking to the "pay as you play" concept!
Hugs*
Nicole
I have had it turn out badly when loaning something and have had it turn out terrific. I think it is just a personal call on how you feel about the provider and what you are loaning, so to say.
HootOwl,
I share the sentiments echoed by fellow TER members. It would be tacky to try and negotiate a fee with a FS provider that you are seeing for the very first time.
My suggestion is simple -- make sure you do your homework. The prices for quality FS providers fall in a specific range. If someone is charging subtantially more, make an effort to understand why -- perhaps she is a porn star or something along those lines.
Once you see a FS provider on a regular basis, and have established a rapport of sorts, and helped them as a friend in their of need (stay clear of financial aid)... then perhaps, they may be more amiable to somesort of negotiation.
I have a few favorite providers who I see on a regular basis. I have a huge collection of CD's and custom burn a few for them. That small token of appreciation goes a long way ...
-- Modified on 6/4/2002 7:05:37 PM
thing I want is to haggle, negotiate, or start acting like I am at my job when I am having fun. Besides, the attempt, successful or not, is going to leave a bad taste in someones' mouth.
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