Andy Rooney On Morning Differences: Men and women are different in the morning. We men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, 'How can he want me the way I look in the morning?' It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve. ----------------------------------
Andy Rooney On Fabric Softener: My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes. ------------------------------------------------- Andy Rooney on Monica Lewinsky: Monica turned 28 this week. It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees. ---------------------------------------------- I'm sure it's not him really saying these thing, it's a joke..about him saying them. It was sent to me from a girl on here. Have a Happy & Safe Weekend!
Yes, those are all very funny. I just can't imagine Mr. Rooney saying such things. I have always loved his spot at the end of 60 Minutes. He proves a person can be funny without being risqué.
I always had meant to write him, but since I know he's probably reading this I'll use this venue.
When my kids were about five to seven years old, they adored listening to Andy on Sunday nights. Now, if you are a parent, you know that Sunday night is the toughest night there is to control kids because they are all hopped up from the weekend and are difficult to get back into the school day mode.
My solution was to tell them that if they didn't have their clothes and school work ready for the next day, there would be no Andy Rooney for them that night and they would settle down and behave superbly.
I don't think it had anything to do with the content of Andy's reports because they were a little young to understand things like what you find in your desk draw after twenty years. I think they just loved the sound of his voice because for days later they would imitate his whine and break out laughing.
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