Ok so I'm not one who partakes in threads that in my opinion are a little too inflated or where we truly don't know the other side of the story.  
I wanna bring people's attention to a topic that's  "hot"  at the moment. Recently one provider denounced a photographer on social media. Since that thread started I believe there was at least one more person who came forward with a similar claim about this person. Social media was flooded with support towards the provider in question. I feel bad for the provider because no one wants to be in that sort of situation. The apology posted by the photographer was lame at best. It seems like this "social media justice" is a very dangerous thing. No trial, believing one side blindly can be truly dangerous. Providers showed their unwavering support may be a beautiful thing. But imagine if that same "social media justice" one day targets you providers, or you hobbyists?  
A couple of years ago I found myself in a similar situation. A provider went on social media and told a story that obviously made her look like the victim and me as the perpetrator. Providers rushed to pat her in the back and support her. I found myself with the dilemma of whether or not go on social media and engage into a she said she said that honestly.... was not gonna go anywhere. I remained silent, only sharing my side of the story with a couple of close friends. I on the other hand apologized for whatever she thought I did to her. I basically turned the other cheek for my own peace of mind. I was disturbed by the thought that I was affected emotionally and obviously other providers hearing that side of the story was going to affect me one way or another, in this biz gossip seems to be pervasive, and I ended up being affected by losing some people. My question was, did she even think of the ramifications of what she did on social media? perhaps she was hurt at the moment and without knowing it, she was causing me more damage than she really intended?
My point is, while I fully support providers coming forward when someone violates her or his privacy or betrayed one's trust. Should we go into a tirade against the other individual without even hearing what they have to say? Potentially ruining their livelihood? Providers go to great lengths to avoid bad reviews knowing it can ruin their rep. Yet engage in that social media justice without giving the other person at least a chance to give their side of the story. I don't know either the photographer nor the provider so I am plainly stating I am sorry for what happened to her but I take neither side until I fully know what happened. Meaning from both sides, because I know what it feels to be falsely accused of shit I didn't do. Of course I am human and I make mistakes and I could have done things differently, but the depiction of what happened was grossly distorted by the other person. So maybe we should keep this social media justice in check before it really gets out of control. Who knows if next time you will become a victim of this new type of ridiculous justice.  

any input on the subject guys and girls? sorry for the stupidly long post.

I very much care about other people, especially their feelings/situations, so it is real hard for me to not speak up if it comes to my attention.

I roughly heard something about the photographer/provider situation. I don't know much about it.  

I at least am a good ear for most, but I also don't like being involved until I have heard from both sides and really know what it is about. Sometimes people lie. Sometimes both sides lie. I like knowing the whole thing that goes down because so much gets lost or not brought up that happened and did matter to the situation. Speaking in general on any arguments or issues others are having.

I think people don't take the time to consider whether something is true or not, how it can move/affect others who hear about whatever situation. I get touchy/upset on things that don't directly involve me at times.

------------------

I had a friend of mine get blasted as if he screwed a girl over. I spoke to him and asked what happened. It mattered to me because 1. He is my friend 2. I had a booking with him and wanted to know if I'd get screwed too. I also asked the lady what happened. Turns out it was over some little thing that wasn't even worth blasting him about. I am grateful she didn't lie to me. I guess everyone has freaking out moments and takes their issues out on others who didn't deserve it.

I think the biggest thing that sucks for people like me, is that I go to bat and speak out for people. It is real messed up when the person you took up for turns around and screws me over. So I get that feeling. I've had it happen many times and it makes me feel like why bother caring for others or being a true friend, when it isn't a two way street. Then I sit back and think of all the worthy people I would miss out on by closing myself off.

I can very much relate to your post. I have no advice because I still run into the same issue over and over. I just try keeping my friend net small and weed out the PT or Fake friends. Hope this helps.

But seriously. There is no way to have a legitimate dispute resolution on social media. Public opinion only reinforces the opinions.  
I would stay out of anything like that. It's a no win situation for most.  
What people know about truth is usually subject to revision.

There tends to be a "mob mentality" here as well where people often respond without having a clue as to what the facts are, but respond based on their own predisposed biases. The BSU's ALWAYS take the hookers side of the argument. The "hooker bashers" ALWAYS take the side of the guy, Many providers ALWAYS take the side of their "sister" providers, etc etc etc.

 

Another thing I have noticed, the first reply often sets the tone for the rest of the thread, unless and until someone steps up and say "HEY, Wait a fucking second and lets get the facts"

 
I know first hand how ANYTHING can be posted on the internet defaming somebody without a shred of facts or proof, It is what it is IMHO. some battles are worth fighting, others aren't. I am a believer that you need to pick your battles carefully.

 
But of course in lieu of any other facts to the contrary, blame the Tranny. lol

... that sometimes people lie, as you said.  

I don't have a problem with a provider or "hobbyist" using a TER discussion board to air a serious problem that can could harm others.  People need to be warned about bad, even dangerous behavior in this community.  And by posting the issue in a discussion thread vs using only back channels, the other party has the opportunity to tell his/her side of the story.

Then there's those who lie, or if they don't lie outright they report a situation as fact even though the source is questionable.  That is truly a slippery slope.  I've seen cases on TER where that happened, and things got pretty ugly. In one case awhile back, a provider and others were mercilessly attacked for what turned out to be lies told to the OP by a provider.  And the attacks continued for months, until Admin finally put a stop to it.

Today is an interesting day to bring this up.  We have a lot of freedom in what we can say, in social media and elsewhere.  That freedom gives us power over others... to help them, or to hurt them.  There's a new movie just out starring a superhero who was reminded by a wise man, "With great power comes great responsibility."  We can complain about the behavior of others on social media and elsewhere, but in the end it comes down to what each of us chooses to do, how each of us decides to treat each other, here and on Twitter etc etc.

In the old days, a posse would round up a varmint and lynch him, or tar and feather the poor bastard.  Or, a group of villagers would come pouring out of their homes with torches lit ready to burn the poor guy's ass.

 
At least the internet has the advantage of keeping the violence in a cyber sphere, so the only harm done is to the reputation.

 
But it is also a reason I still shun SM.   I have a hard enough time now with the villagers wanting to run me out of town without having a cyber village to contend with.

At least that is what seems to be ingrained as a knee-jerk reaction to the written word, probably since hot Neanderthals' phone numbers were being etched on the walls of caves lol.  

And yes, as someone here said - whomever gets to the forum first often controls the spin.  

To play on social media is taking a risk that something like this happens.  I think the only way to deal with it is to offer this simple reply: 'Has anyone ever said something untrue about you on social media? If so, then you understand how I feel right now'  

Ultimately the last recourse we have is to condition the reader to not accept the written word as gospel - sometimes it can be done with presenting 'alternative facts' though that is a tough hill to climb because the narrative has already been set.  

A more general reminder that just because you read something on social media doesn't make it so is easier for someone to digest, and if they can see how it can apply to the same derogatory posts they have likely seen about themselves at one point perhaps there's hope.  But probably not.

-- Modified on 7/4/2017 12:45:19 PM

(Some of this is in response to what NGBE posted and other parts in general about the topic)

Yes, we can chose to be helpful, understanding, and nice individuals. When another person upsets you, unless it is a dangerous situation, I don't see why two adults can't take their issue privately. I see it often where 2 or more people want to start a twitter war. I also see many do not know how to fully read what others say and want to assume what that person meant and go BSC. I don't like arguing. I will call people out but there is a huge difference between going BSC/nasty and being blunt/willing to listen. I eventually just block people who seem not to have respect for others or play nice.  

You can easily share experiences on social media or here without mentioning who you are having issues with. That is the huge difference between venting/needing opinions and trying to be nasty/BSC/trying to ruin someone else's livelihood/reputation. The first is ok, the second is not.

I view people who trying bring others into the argument, for the purpose of ganging up on a specific person, people I do not care to speak to. What is it to stop them from doing it to me? It's why I try to watch who I chose to be friends with, in RL and The Hobby.

1-You got angry people out there that just want to take their anger out on someone else

2-You got the drama people who want that attention and validation of them being right.

3-You have people who no matter how clear you are in what you say or type, they will take it the wrong way and run with it.

4-On the same topic, you can also be the nicest person to others... and still be Judged by others... not for anything you did but because of what others have done. No one should ever be Judged on anything unless that person specifically did something themselves. Judging by proxy isn't fair either. It doesn't matter if 99% of people have been shitheads, if I wasn't one then how is it fair to throw me under the bus with the rest of the shitheads, when I wasn't a shit head?  

I see 1 & 2 quite often. 3 & 4 I have experienced many times. It always hurts more if the one who is doing it is your friend or perhaps was your friend. I have never once called out anyone on the last one, 4. It is frustrating to be judged and have things taken out on me when the whole issue never had to do with me anyways. Pretty sure those people that have done that to me would never want anyone to treat them that way. I keep things as the real me, whether work or RL related. A true friend knows not to assume I am like everyone else, they already know how I am. That's the way i chose to see it. I just go about my way and ignore it or try talking privately to the person. A few did apologize to me and all was fine after. I chose to understand and try to see what another may be going through or how I would like it if I was the other person. Be great if more people just tried this.

#4 can be just as bad as people ruining your name/rep. Both situations are where one person is either being attacked or just getting punished for something they didn't do. I am a firm believer in taking responsibility for anything stupid I may say, I never like anyone assuming about me something I didn't say nor do. Like I said, unless it is a direct attack on me, I ignore the best I can or try to work the issue out. Now if someone is directly trying to get people to gang up on me or I am being misunderstood, yes I say something. You can defend self without getting nasty to their level. Some people will not care what you say for whatever reason that may be.

needed much more nowadays with all of the information thrown into our faces, while using words that appeal to emotions in order for it to take effect, and accomplish personal agendas at a fast pace.  

Social media is built for things to spread like wildfire and "go viral". If used right, it can be very lucrative. If used and abused carelessly, well, you become like me - which might not be the ideal persona to follow according to recent news.  

I decided instead of typing my response here, I am probably going to write a blog on this after thinking it through a bit, because it's definitely fascinating to watch people follow each other around like blind sheep. That's the whole point of social media though.

I do have to say one thing about the "hot" issue. I feel for the girl, and sometimes in cases like these, it can be very confusing for the person it happened to, as the perpetrator "sets it up" in such a way that it can be very hard to explain these types of things, especially publicly. I think giving a little bit of grace for the victim in exactness is ok. If, in fact, the person who caused the situation set it up to confuse her or "condition" her to say yes to things she wouldn't normally say yes to.

If that's the case, (I suspect in a lot of abusive situations, it is,) then the abuser put that on himself by purposefully blowing smoke clouds and purposefully making the story hard to dissect and dissolve.

I can see enough that something happened. Personally, sometimes a twisted story isn't such a bad thing and maybe it'll teach this guy to be crystal clean in his professionally.

For me, I've had social media stuff happen to me where stories were told, and I was called out to be a very shitty person. Did I deserve that? I don't know. Maybe. Some of that stuff is true. Did I need it to learn a valuable lesson? I think so.

Putting ourselves out there with that much exposure, plus utilizing a very sensitive and powerful tool means we are accountable to a much higher standard, and also our fall will be harder.

Some people are victims to online abuse. In our case, we make make the decision to not only put ourselves on the line, but also those who associate with us on the line. That's where the money is, and that comes with responsibilities and consequences.  

Some things, as others have said, could be dealt with between the persons involved and never brought to the public, and obtain a lot better results, and less heartache. Some situations, social media is a tool to spread information fast that in some cases, it needs to be

The amount of people indirectly involved on partial information can have brutal consequences of misinformation.

-- Modified on 7/4/2017 2:10:10 PM

Justice owes its existence to truth. Truth is given voice by reason. The indignation on social media is outrage masquerading as reason, and is therefore neither true nor just.

The Faustian bargain of twitter is trading deliberation for dexterity. Anyone with opposable thumbs can tweet, but the rational thought part is a bitch.  

They don't use tar and feathers anymore where you live?

 
You actually have to pay extra for that in a BDSM session.

-- Modified on 7/4/2017 8:04:30 PM

Just in case anyone misunderstands me, my posts were mainly about calling others out on social media.

I know some of what happened with the photographer stuff. I chose not to speak on it because I was not there to see everything that went on. I do sympathize with the ladies who are very upset about it. I do not discount their valid feelings. I do not know everything nor heard (or asked) from the guy. Since I only am hearing bits and pieces of what happened from the one side, I chose not to jump to any conclusions about it. This do NOT mean I don't believe the ladies, it purely means that because I do not know the full story, even from them, I care not to get involved.  

No sense in jumping in on one side when you may be wrong and harm someone else. I wouldn't enjoy someone calling me out and everyone slamming me without knowing my side. So I just follow that path.

I only like looking like an ass when I want to be one, not when it's not my intent.

The stuff on social media was also IN ADDITION to other ladies having come forward about this photographer on other sites I can't name that providers use as tools to help us screen and work as safely as possible. Now if we can't believe the providers who post information about men on those sites, then what's the point of them if we are also using the info placed on them to make informed decisions about who to see as a client???
Either we take that info at face value and use it to see guys or not, or there's not much point screening clients / photographers or whoever in the first place??

See, you don't need a lonnng reply to make a great point. Agreed, review sites are tools, imperfect as they may be, that we have to rely on to make our decisions, provider and client. It sure beats the alternative ... nothing.  

And while YMMV, even tho I'm not familiar with provider sites/tools, I rely on trends/consistency to help me make my evaluations.  

I'm not familiar with the issue S2C is referring to, but if there was a complaint and then corroborating posts in addition to the complaint, I would throw caution to the wind and avoid said perpetrator. JMHO

VerifyHim and SafeOffice smears are worse for the client than the fake TER review you guys constantly complain about. At least with fake reviews you can dispute/plead your case with TER admin, with VH and SO there is zero recourse for a client/vendor being maliciously lied about by a scorned provider.  

BTW, it's cute that you guys think that those sites are so golden and secret that you dare not mention their name in public forums. As if they both haven't been totally and completely compromised....

A very level-headed observation. There's no accountability on Twitter, and that's precisely why so many providers who have been bounced from TER/P411 for being shady AF have such an outsized presence there.

I agree with you in general. However one should always do their own research and not just take anyone at their word. Not speaking about the photographer. but about what's listed on BL sites.  

Honestly I have found plenty where girls were out for vengeance, just wanted to keep others girls from seeing their clients, little things that guys did but the poster will say all sorts of stuff that didn't happen, or just claim a guy is LE bc he acted off....

Now I am not saying I do not take BLs seriously, I do. I just know some girls abuse it. I use my own reasoning and research unless I know it is a girl that's not missing a few screws that posted it.

Example:  

In WI, IL, and TN well over 60% of the claims that potential clients are LE are NOT. Guess what? I did my own research and verified myself. Hey, sometimes I am bored and double check things and other times I checked bc I was touring in those cities. All bc a girl had a red flag for whatever reason and just assumed he was LE.

I check BLs and use that as another way of checking for flags that I need to further check on.

I think one of the reasons Gina requires ID from the girls on P411 is because some who were bounced from there came back under different names. Many of the hookers who don't have active TER profiles are creating new personas on social media.

As more and more hookers use social media they will see diminishing returns. I've heard that a lot of guys who don't normally monger see girls off social media. The supply of guys who have the money to do this is relatively small on social media. Ultimately TER and Eros will prove to be the real profit centers.