true story..saw a newbie provider two months ago..decent looking..figured i would give it a try..walked in ..said hello..donation received..no chatting..all business..gave me a decent cbj..a little mish..had some daty..then i go to kiss her and she says NO..she said she only kisses her SO..kissing her client is way too intimate..i was flabbergasted..i told her that i was just inside of her..thats not intimate? she said that was completely different..i just kept quiet and she finished me off with a cbj..i left..i have never been with a provider who didnt like at least some lfk..am i nuts? is she nuts? needless to say i will not be a returning client..should i be disappointed? is she right? i thought i knew the meaning of intimacy but now im really not sure..what does intimacy mean to you? i need feedback on this..i am really confused..

I understand her thinking on the situation. Her job involves being very intimate with clients but kissing is the one thing she can save for her SO. I think for some girls its also a way of disassociating. When beginging I used everything I could because it was the only way for me to not conect with a client emotionally. Now I know how to control that while still having a wonderfully fun time, and enjoy being "connected."
Also, in the past when I have been in a relationship I didnt kiss either, more so because my BF wanted to know no one else was kissing me. My lips were for him (at least the ones on my face!). I think its more so for the men in our lives (or women) then it is for us.
Now I dont care what a SO would say! I like kissing!

Also lots of differences in preferences and I'm not one to judge.  I certainly wouldn't see someone with such a limited menu.  Was there no way for you to do your homework and find out what was, and what was not on hers? I'd never see someone who was unreviewed and had no web site.  I guess because she's a newbie there was no way to find out.  That's the risk you take when you see someone like this. Not for me.

and I also would guess she is young

Kissing is more of a gfe romantic type of thing, and a lot of providers simply don't wish to take it to that level with clients. You have to respect a providers comfort level, and not try to force her to go beyond that.

I don't think neither one of you are nuts, & either you are her should have explained and or asked what was on the menu, and what wasn't.

An old/short story in asia.

A gisaeng and/or a geisha, they didn't kiss but they did all variety of sex.
They thought that they gave everything to her/him when they kissed. Some of ladies in these days think like this way. Even there a line in old geisha films like this; I can do everything for you, but my lips are not allowed.

So, I totally understand your newbie provider's mention, but personally I don't see ladies like her.

you read were false or you don't have VIP to read the details, you will not be able to make informed decisions.

No kissing is a deal breaker for me; as is CBJ.

Just a thought...it may very well have been that she took a look at you and decided she had NO interest in playing "tonsil hockey".

The SO crap is...just that for the most part.  She's in this biz...and unless she wants to sell herself with a VERY limited menu...she will LFK at a minimum.  Or in this case...NOT.  But I suggest it had a whole lot more to do with you...then anything else.

Write the damn review and let your fellow hobbyists know of your experience.  You keep coming up with these "scenarios" and they are a tad hard to understand...given the only gals you have reviewed are "porn stars".  

So are you nuts?  Nope...just a bit strange in that the flow of your stories is dysfunctional, to say the least.  If you keep this up you might be getting ready to unseat Big Mac as the resident "story teller".

...run into this with any providers I've seen. But I read reviews and look for kissing LFK, DFK as one of the things I won't do without. I have read some reviews of ladies that won't kiss beyond just on the lips. I don't see them. I have talked to some ladies though that say the face and the lips are up close and personal. They can do DATY, bbbj, and all sorts of intercourse positions without being face to face and those are ok. They don't want to do the face to face stuff. I had a stripper tell me once she would fuck someone in the VIP room before she would kiss them because kissing meant being face to face and way too personal. Go figure!

if she did not meet up to your standards,  your approval,  you shouldn't see her again.  I am fond of DFK and have no problem with it.  Some gals don't like it I suppose.  See someone else that can give you what you desire.  Happy Hobbying!

I used to refer to that style as full service.Only it wouldnt allow saliva exchange no daty no kissing just a bj and some nookie, I was under impression that meant full service.  As opposed to gfe which is basically saliva exchange and lots of it everywhere.  I always considered daty to be a gfe type thing to offer, But then to do that and not allow kissing hmm thats just in the middle of full service and gfe, only missing is dfk. I guess every ones different and this is where this is a great system with the reviews for people to refere guys to reviews as opposed to getting guys thst arent goin to get what they are lookin for. since you dont want to discuss details then no one knows whats goin to happen.

Sex is just sex. Its fun, yes it is intimate, but it isn't as intimate as passionate kisses. It makes things too real for my comfort and it really bothers me. Now I do LFK, but I can understand her feelings as I to share them to a point. There is a lot of emotions involved in kissing, at least for me there is.

No one is nuts in this case you was just not a match. It happens especially if you TOFTT. You have every right to be disappointed but unless she advertises or has reviews stating she preforms certain acts, she did not misrepresent herself.

thanks to everyone for an excellent feedback on my thread..i am just now wondering why all the informative and positive responses to my thread come from our providers..smart-ass comments and negativity is all i see on here coming from our resident cavemen on this board..

So does that mean I am a provider? Cool, I always wanted to be a gigolo!

Ladies, scoed is open for business, book now and avoid the rush! I provide a true BFE. I even drink beer while watching sports completely ignoring you. Get your BFE now! Ladies I am the provider you have been dreaming of. Every lady dreams of having a super morbidly obese, sickly, small dicked BF with ED right?

Just take it like a man, it's something you needed to learn anyways.

Of course the ladies won't post a smart ass comment, it damages their rep and business for doing so.

If no DFK bothers you, then next time learn about a 'new invention' called TER reviews and profiles and read up on a few before booking a session. Might save you the hassle and learn from other people's mistakes and experiences.

If it was a new girl that has no reviews, try not to take one for the team if you're going to bitch and whine about a DFK or CBJ menu. It's part of the risk for TOFTT. Clearly, judging from your post it tells me that you are not ready to TOFTT so just stick to the "new invention".

Two days ago, they were calling you a pimp.

When I started out doing incall massage, I didn't kiss either and I didn't have an SO. Kissing, for women, stimulates the emotions much more than men, whereas receiving DATY can be purely physical... you don't need to "feel" anything for the guy to get off by him.

So, for a woman to kiss a total stranger right away, she has to overcome or bypass her natural steps to intimacy either by shutting it down or overriding it. Some providers don't feel comfortable doing it and so they just don't kiss at all.

Now I start each session with a "break the ice" chat. I still don't and won't kiss a client right when I walk through the door even if he wants to. I need to wait until I get past the feeling he is a stranger and to where I can feel comfortable with it and enjoy it to. I don't want to have to shut down to kiss. I want to wait until I can open up and respond.

Contrarily, I could probably walk in, spread my legs and get DATY right off the bat. Face to face, mouth to mouth, and tongue to tongue is much more emotionally intimate than mouth to genitals, which is very intimate physically.

That's the TER way! Ignore the silly cavemen and tune into those that make some actual points and show some level of intellegence!

I agree! Taking some time to feel comfortable with someone is key. I don't want things to feel mechanical and I'd rather feel a nice connection.  I love to kiss but it's a major turnoff when a guy has absolutely no clue HOW to kiss! Kissing involves some lip..the tongue should make a gradual introduction. I don't think any woman enjoys being assaulted by a guys tongue (especially when she doesn't know him!) Let me breath and don't slobber all over me.. It just becomes a prelude to a bad session! For God's sake, rinse with some mouthwash before you kiss anyone!

...There is a scene in Pretty Woman expressing exactly that sentiment.

If I could end up with a hot chick like Wilma or (God willing) Betty, I'd be in seventh heaven!

Your response, btw, was excellent, IMHO.



-- Modified on 2/18/2012 8:03:58 AM

I met a gal who wouldn't allow a drop of cum on her body, but loved to be pissed on.  (And also had no problem with me playing tonsil hockey with her.)

There are tantrikas who won't allow intercourse, but feel free to cum all over their face.

Others you can pee on, but no kissing, then others, vice versa.

I met a gal into scat play (No thanks!), but everything else was like diet vanilla ice cream.

So, there's nothing that unusual in what you describe.  Everyone has their own thing.

If the gal can make you happy doing her thing, then that's what is important.

Thank God for reviews, eh?

One of the reasons I don't pay much attention to GFE...if all they say is they provide a GFE experience, it's much to variable to have true meaning.  

I just wish the ladies explicitly spelled out what they will AND will not do (if it's a usual type of request like DFK).  If it's YMMV, then just state it.

Link

forsome reason, some providers will not even provide lfk.  If you are able, ask before you make the appt if its that important to you.

There is just something about a kiss that does have its own intimacy.  If it didn't, why do you want it.

My reply was negative and smart ass? Are you sure? I shared what I knew from speaking to some ladies and their take on your question of kissing. I did point out that I wouldn't see ladies that don't kiss, LFK and DFK.
Which part was negative and smart ass?

Or should I join scoed and offer my services as a genuine BFE because my post was like that of the providers?