A little humor...
Do you care to share one of your fucked up schedules?

Geesh!

No wonder we're sitting around kicking one another in the nuts here.

Have a little fun!

Fuck one.....hell...fuck'em all!

pk

Hahahahah

Have to admit I got a good laugh from your post.

Since I've been doing this for a year, on 3 separate occasions my best friend (who has been a not-so-secret object of my lustful desires), has called me within 5 minutes of me leaving my house for a "date".  Have never picked-up of course, because I know I wouldn't be too smooth with random chit-chat and quickly getting off the phone at that point (and who needs last minute guilt of lying to a friend about what I'm doing - "sorry, can't hang out today, I have too much laundry to do").  Conidering we only talk once a week or so, I do think her timing has been a bit freaky in this regard.  Alas, I've still managed to keep my focus on the task at hand (condoms? Check. Breath mints?  Check.  Hobby phone?  Check.  Envelope?  Oh shit, I almost forgot... ;o)

...in the shower.  Blow me while I close my eyes and imagine you're my cancelled appointment."

Try living with two stoners who never remember where they put ANYTHING. Seems like every time I'm trying to have some "me" time, there's a knock on my bedroom door followed by a "Duuuuude...have you seen my wallet?"

I get interrupted while masturbating too. Here's the worst story.  

I was making a long trip home before I started - or even knew - what providing was.  

All of a sudden I got this sever urge. Let me tell you, it's very hard as a woman to masturbate while driving. Of course I didn't. What I did was stop in at a porn shop and bought a toy to stuff in my underwear while I was driving.  

Get into car - stuff it down - and as I was driving, that lame ass toy was so weak there was no way in hell it was going to get me off.  

So I spent the whole night driving seriously and painfully horny with no relief. I don't think I ever solved my frustration that night because I cringe just thinking about it.