Recent experiences have created in me a curiosity.

I know there will be MANY who will attack this thread simply because the boards have been infrequented as of late. That being said, I would like to hear from those of us who actually know of retired Providers/Hobbyists.

Do they grow tired of the drama? Do they find something/someone much more fullfilling? Do they start/foster families?

More importantly; when someone retires, are they still capeable of engaging in intimate relationships? Both physical and emotional? Does the Hobby create irreparable wounds for providers or grandiose expectations for the Hobbyists?

Please don't give anyone away(hoping you wouldn't anyway).


I have established an opinion based on one case in point. I know ONE CASE doesn't make a CURVE.

medical field.

That is an EXTREMELY small sample and cannot in any way be taken as representative.

One of them I met AFTER she had retired. I cannot say that providing in and of itself was an issue for her; because she had serious wounds prior. In her particular case, she had chosen to provide (so she told me) for the specific purpose of "lowering herself" to the level of her original hurts. So because of her attitude and goals going in, it did additional damage. 10 years after leaving providing, she cannot have a normal sexual relationship.

Another I knew as a provider, but never saw her in that role. She, too, had major damage prior to providing. As a result of her attitudes going in, the providing harmed her more. She hasn't been retired long enough to assess how well she is doing; but she's receiving help.

Another I knew in a provider/hobbyist role and, unknown to me, I was actually seeing her well after her official retirement. She and I have lunch once a month or so in a non-hobby context and she is happy, fulfilled, well-adjusted and reports satisfactory romantic relationships.

SO -- from this extremely small and non-representative sample; I would say that providing, in and of itself, does no particular harm.

HOWEVER, the mindset of the woman doing the providing seems crucial based on that sample. If she goes in with the wrong mindset, it can do harm. If she goes in with the right mindset, it can do good.

Keep in mind, this is anecdotal from a TINY sample. It is entirely possible that all women but the two I have cited who go into providing are deliriously happy sex goddesses for their husbands once they retire.

Not retired yet  but definitely off to the medical field....and will continue my happy horniness albeit to one special and dare I say very lucky fella! (Never got my feet wet.) Got to finish sowing my wild oats some day! The only wounds left on me was from John Barleycorn but I kicked him to the curb years ago. Hopefully when someone moves on from this party it's with no regrets and some wisdom of human nature. A psychology degree if you will. Anyways, live and let live.

I believe if you have a strong mind, you are
in this for a reason and you know what and where
your priorities are you shouldn't have brain damage at the end of the day .

I'm in this a little longer than I had set my own
goals but being selective as to who I meet keeps
things balanced. If providers go in this with an
open mind ,not treating the men she meets as if she owns them , and enjoys the build up of preparing for a date she will be fine.

You know... back in the days where hitting the dance floor on a Friday & Saturday guys seeking chicks , chicks seeking guys isn't much different its just all online now and we use our party money to prepare for each other cutting out the door fee, what to wear, $$ for ladies night out and if providers keep this in mind only adding
the screening its fun! Only he pays us since
we won't be seeing each other "that way" if you
know what I mean !

...and a curve doesn't really mean anything. Providers and hobbyists are individuals and each finds his or her own path in life.

Few are smart enough to do this 2-3 yrs tops saving enough cash to start a new biz or simply retire to the caribbean..

One found a good job.

One found a husband.

And one found Jesus.

I bet that covers 90% of the circumstances.

One was one of my stripper/escort friends.  She seemed to have reached the end of her stint as a stripper... she was looking old and tired... desparate, some might say...

She disappeared....

Some weeks ago, I happened into my old watering hole... and she was there, stareing at me, across the bar... she was in VERY conservative street clothes... and she recognized me, and smiled.  It was only then I noticed that she was with a gent.  Not a great looking gent, but an ordinary guy... a normal guy, an average guy... while she seemed more beautiful that I remembered... she positively radiated... they were obviously leaving... and as they approached the door, she turned and came over to me, and hugged me.  We embraced for a moment or two.  After that she pulled away, and I ackwardly asked "where do you work now?" and she responded, "see that kind gentleman behind me, he is my husband and could not be happier, I feel better than I have in years"  I smiled and wished her well....  He is lucky, because I know she loves him....

The other one who left, jumped off a bridge... and I have known many, many in between... one was one of the most corageous women it has ever been my honor to know!  

so you see, they leave, for many reasons, as many as the reasons they come into our community.

-- Modified on 3/14/2010 6:21:30 PM

And this one started a job and wants to find her way back to touring when she accrues enough vacation.

It's odd- you can leave with the goal of building a great life but it still feels like there is something "missing" that I had never touched before I started providing.

As I've told people who have asked when they saw me: there really is nothing else in the world quite like going on a wonderful first date.  Nothing quite matches the anticipation while you are getting all dolled up and the seduction of a mysterious stranger.  *sigh*  As a provider it seemed like I got one every single time I met a new friend.

We just change up our strategy and equipment!

i know one who just retired. she had horrible situations in her upbringing...no dad around, abusive relationships, her mom always having sex while she was in the house as a kid. she even said the first bj she ever saw was her mom to some guy when she was 14. it'll mess a person up.

she got pregnant by her pimp, and the last text i got was "...peace". no clue how she's doing now.

I didn't know Jesus got lost.

Someone came to my door just the other day looking for him.

All Jews get lost, and get lost over and over again.  We even invented a word for it:  Farblondzshet  (Yiddish for hopelessly and eternally lost - is there any other way?)

We wandered in the desert for forty years, Ten of the twelve tribes are known as the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel.  They are still lost.

In any field of endeavor, it is easy to name several Jews who have risen to prominence, be it the clergy, science, art, music, entertainment, government, belle letters, military, philosphy, medicine, law; you name it, Jews have done it....all except one notable field:

Explorers

Go ahead, name one famous Jewish explorer. (Dora the Explorer doesn't count.)

You can't, because there aren't any.

QED

"Old providers never die, they just fade away."

That's what I plan on doing when the time is right -- just turn off the cell & web site, and then get on with my life....

.... taht time ain't gonna be any time soon, I like you guys too much!