I've recently been reading tweets from some providers and some from some twits (is that the correct name for one who tweets?) that are either advice to providers or providers talking about their problems. There was so much negativity about clients that I was taken aback. There was a link to a website that was all about making fun of emails from clients. Sure, some of them were pretty bad, but a lot of them were just people who didn't know how it works.  

The worst was a link to a provider in Dublin who generally despised all her clients and wasn't shy about saying how awful they all are and insulting all her "categories" of johns. Her most positive comments were  that she had the "least resent dealing with" men over 55 and that she had some "sympathy" for them.

Someone please tell me that that isn't how providers feel about us. It makes me feel ill and sad and ready to quit the hobby.

Rumen

Some people just need to vent. Some may be fed up on how a numerous amount of men has been treating her. There are many mean 'Hobbyist' out here. I'm sorry that you had a run in with that. The only way to avoid it is to just ignore than move on. Not all ladies are the same or your ideal of an 'Escort'. Vice versa for hobbyist.

I personally can say that one man can not justify my thoughts on them all. So don't allow for it to make you feel any type of way. Be stronger within self. There just words.

Hope I helped.

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Just as with strippers (whom I have found to be much more misandrist) there will be women in P4P who resent us and the fact that they're doing what they're doing to earn money.  And there will be some who are upset from a string of bad dates, from being disrespected and from a host of other causes.  But in my unscientific sampling I'd say most (greater than 90% in my experience) are nice enough and just trying to make it in a dog eat dog world.   I think the real haters burn out fast (mostly by burning bridges) and others know when they've had enough.  

On the other hand no provider is falling madly in love with you,  you did not give her 4 orgasms and she is not your girlfriend after 1 date. I don't know what a lady says about me in her diary once I leave and that doesn't worry me as long as we have mutually respectful fun when we're in a session. Enjoy your playtime and remind yourself it's just about having fun.

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It is not just hobby.  

- Stories of fast food workers adding "extra sauce" to take revenge on customers
- Trader from a prominent investment bank called clients "muppet"  
- What TSA folks say about the general public behind closed doors

Would be interesting if there are data breaking down job satisfaction between low-end and high-end providers, as well as providers working in different areas.  

Fortunately, we have Yelp, TER, TUSCL, and a few other review sites that help us identify professionals who actually like what they do (and most likely do a great job as a result

before, but this one was definetely spot on. Well said.

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I always assume the best clients are the clients that the ladies forgot they ever saw.

My best days at work are the days I can't remember.

I'm stunned. With the exception of Kisses_Jones all of your replies are disgusting.

I wouldn't go to a doctor who despised me for seeking medical care.
I wouldn't go to a lawyer who despised me for seeking legal advice.
I wouldn't go to a grocer who despised me for seeking food.

Why would I want to go see a provider who despised me for seeking sex and companionship?

I don't understand your problem or attitude, but I do now understand why I see so many comments about how awful the clients are.  

Thanks so much for poisoning the well.

Rumen

BTW: men don't have any trouble treating people with respect and professionalism and they expect the same, sadistic boys just fuck any hole without giving a shit about anything.

Like attracts like. A girl with a negative attitude will not attract the nicer guys...thus, she's not going to like her job very much.

My feeling is that a girl who hates her clients will show it, even if she puts on a good 'act'. Her negative attitude will be reflected somehow in her site text, photos (some girls' photos seem so hard and almost cynical to me), or reviews. For instance, she might have a zillion rules, half of which begin in 'Don't'. She will not be willing to chat over email, AT ALL. She will require you to TEXT ONLY!!!! and then yell at you for not checking her calendar beforehand.

My experience is that nice clients will stay far away from someone who is irritable, who seems more impersonal, who doesn't present herself in a positive and dignified manner, who doesn't take pride in her work, who doesn't seem to operate in a physically and mentally sustainable manner. So, a girl like that will attract a lower tier of clients, even if her reviews/photos are great (and especially if they are not!). Thus, her negative attitude will self-perpetuate.

When I worked for an agency, it was high-volume...presentation wasn't the classiest. They exhibited me like chicken parts - here's a breast, here's a thigh, come get it! I saw a LOT of assholes, and really wasn't treated all that well. I usually experienced several of an escort's typical pet peeves per day (NCNS, boundary-pushing, way-too-rough fingering, asshole-poking, hair-pulling, condescension, fee-shorting, and overstaying, to name a few). My time and body were not treated with respect. As a result, I didn't care about earning repeat customers, as much as just getting through the day, hour by hour. So even if the guy who came in at 6PM was really nice, I wasn't trusting and open and able to fully enjoy my time with him. I never wanted him to stay a second longer than the time booked (and would have preferred that he leave early); either because the next dude was already waiting downstairs, or I was just so exhausted I craved being left in peace. Or, maybe I just wanted fifteen minutes to eat some dinner and take a sh**. I wouldn't say I hated all clients, but I thought that the constant hustle and aggravation was just what escorting was all about. It wasn't about fun, or sex, or making genuine connections with people.

As an independent, things changed pretty quickly once I raised my rates (then my time minimum) and was able to vet all clients before meeting. I met nice men who were perfectly respectful of my time and body...and MYSELF. I experienced far fewer pet peeves (most of the aggravation I did experience was just from fielding emails from clients who didn't make the cut…and in a few cases, dealing with former agency regulars), and so negative energy didn't seep into my sessions or my mindset. I wasn't on guard, or thinking, 'Gee, I wonder what THIS one's gonna try!' Instead, I was thinking, 'Wow, he sounds really cool!'

I have two dates coming up this week, for which I'm actually pretty excited!! The men were respectful during screening, booked longer dates (they are feeding me ), and just generally seem like really nice people with interesting lives. It's a pleasure to spend time with men like that. No matter how it goes in the bedroom (and I doubt it will go that badly), I am sure I will manage to enjoy my time with them.

I refused FOUR possible dates within the past few days. They just seemed like people who'd leave a bad taste in my mouth. One was BL'd for double-booking and I got a bad vibe, one obviously hadn't read my site and had no idea where I was even located, one seemed like he wanted a GF and didn't want to specify a concrete amount of time for the date (meaning, that he'd book the shortest time, and try multiple maneuvers to keep me for as long as humanly possible), one was too young/immature. So they got declined, and as a result, they won't affect the way I feel about my clients or my job...

So I guess my answer would be, just look for clues in a girl's presentation that she LIKES people and WANTS repeat clientele, longer dates, etc. That she takes pride in herself and has criteria for who she sees, beyond just safety. When I worked for an agency, a 3 hour date was very rare and would have seemed interminable. Now, four hours almost seems too short!!

All memories are reconstructions of the events themselves. And the retelling of an experience is colored by the dynamics pertinent to the moment of recollection. Who was that cinnamon roll you had at the bakery last week? Gross? Sickly sweet? But at the time it probably tasted pretty good. Will you ever have another cinnamon roll? Probably, and you'll enjoy it assuming it's not stale or moldy.

I suggest not putting much emphasis on how you or the providers remember each other. The session is an experience that is good at the time. You might remember it as a waste of money or a foolish expenditure of time. The providers remember it as what they felt they had to do at the time to pay the bills.

Anticipating the session, maybe saviring it for awhile afterwards can be pleasant for us. Maybe for the provider it's work screening you and getting her incall ready and then more work cleaning up afterwards.

It is our good fortune that as clients we can construct generally good memories of the interaction we have with them. That's part of what we pay for. In the session we live in the moment for a couple of hours. Otherwise our moments are distracted by planning and dreaming about what we want the big moments to be, and by creating memories of where life took us in a past that we are certain we experienced.

Providers will feel differently about us than we feel about them. Although love ain't on the menu, feelings are a constant for both parties.

---------- Se

As you can see there's someone for everyone. The mean girls get the mean guys and the nice guys will get a nice girl.  

Those guys where totally bashing those ladies for you though. The chicks that are poisoned just can't handle the pressure that comes with this lifestyle. Any and all occupation(s) can be stressful. Everyday isn't promised to be a good one.  

Being honest, I agreed with one of the responses. I can see things from both point of views. Don't let others make you so upset. Stand up and believe in what you believe in. Find a humble provider and have some fun. Make her your ATF. She's out there somewhere Rumen . Have patience.

Take it easy Love.

It was a thoughtful response to your question, and with considerable truth, based on experience.

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I reread CGs response and I can see I didn't interpret or appreciate it correctly.  

Thanks for the nudge.

Agreed. I wouldn't either. Unfortunately I do not have the "mind reading" app so I can tell what they really think of me before I hand over the money. Would appreciate it if you can pass along a link so I can download that app to my cell phone... LOL

OTH if I have to choose between one who hates me but does ALL the acronyms (BBBJ, DATY, DFK, BLK etc...) at a cheap price versus one who loves me but is non-GFE and charges an arm-and-a-leg methinks I would rather go with the former.

I thank those who pointed out that I wasn't interpreting some of the responses very well. In rereading I would have to agree and I apologize for my harsh response.

I would like to point out that I'm not looking for love or even friendship, but I would expect courtesy and professionalism from any highly-paid service provider I went to; be it a dentist, a lawyer, or a courtesan.

Rumen

PS: I've always liked the term courtesan. I'm hoping it will catch on again.

You have written quite the contradiction there. Upped your rates and time requirements, only to turn away customers you didn't want to see.  

I'm not following how the rate increase is keeping the undesirables away.

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I don't read twitter post from anyone, I don't take into consideration other peoples opinions. Especially hotties I'd like to shaft. Not out of disrespect of their opinions, more so because we will most likely never share the same interests. I can't name a single lipstick color other than red.

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Is to take all of our stuff offline, lol.  

But w/o the higher time minimum and rates, and more importantly, the corresponding changes in attitude/presentation (which I THINK I might have mentioned, lol), the higher-quality clients wouldn't ever contact me.  

When I was an agency girl, and later on as an independent doing 1-hour incalls, I NEVER got ONE dinner date request, EVER. (I did, however, get lots of guys who booked 1-hours and wanted to go to dinner...lol).

I don't see the correlation between rates and time to the higher quality clients never contacting you.

Your last sentence makes sense. Personally I never ask ladies to dinner, I assume they are busy working when ever I may be in their company, OTC of course.

What a really nice response.   This answers a lot of questions that float around my head as I plan, participate and wind down from a date.  I'm guessing I'm not alone.   Why we were a match. Why we may not have been.  Your last two sentences speak volumes:

"When I worked for an agency, a 3 hour date was very rare and would have seemed interminable. Now, four hours almost seems too short!!"

I think it all comes down to having options.  All of use working for others be it in an office or for an agency have few.  We take what we get and often it's not all that great.  Those of us willing to take a chance and work for ourselves can reap big rewards or flame out.  But it's in our control and that goes a long way toward building an enjoyable phase of our lives.  There are a lot of brave people in the hobby. People who on either side of the ledger have often stepped out on their own and thrived on the pioneering spirit.  This is a bond that runs through what we do and can be at the core of a connection for those seeking one.  This is often overlooked.

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..this isnt for you.

who work at an agency. just can't do it.

The term "twit" usually means a foolish and inconsequential person. A superfluous fop lacking both physical strength or intellectual depth. Usually a rather well born WASP, and generally a reference to males--I don't know what exactly the female equivalent of a twit would be.

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I think it's much more them being socially polite than real affection. Plus they are getting paid. The dislike/hate has to come from their experience with asshole clients.

When you read how much of a "connection" is made it's usually from a hobbyist perspective. If we could ask the provider their opinion.Hmmm?. (If guys have a good time  it really doesn't matter . they believe what they want to believe.)

That is exactly correct! Chemistry is chemistry, and you can't have that with everyone. I have friends that I genuinely enjoy my time with, and truly look forward to my next visit. Others...I have to admit I have found myself sitting at the edge of the bed while they dress silently mouthing 'GET THE FUCK OUT ALREADY'. And it has nothing to do with their looks, or the amount of money they spent, or even if the get down time. It's always due to something they did during the session, that no one should've had to explain in a kindergarten's tone, that it was unacceptable.

The #1 unacceptable thing that shouldn't have to be written or expressed: HYGIENE. If your breath reeks of dogshit or your balls smell like Limburger cheese, who in the hell is going to be happy and/or grateful for that??? No, I don't hate them, but it will cause me to birth a litter of kittens on the wrong day because I find myself thinking, c'mon dude!!! And yes, when it happens more than once we go off about it.

Have I had a few funky tweets regarding potential friends? Sure, but mine were ALL about 'friends' I refused to ever see because of something they did during screening or initial correspondence that let me know, this is not at all a guy I want to spend my time with, or waste his, because it's just going to suck. But again, something he did. Not that I hate him or my choice of profession.

 
Thankfully, I haven't had that many bad apples at all, and if I saw someone I did not enjoy I would just politely decline to see them again. Because it's not solely about the money for me, I want us both to thoroughly enjoy the experience.

Thanks for being so real.

Reminds me very much of what I heard from a favorite provider who started off at an agency.  Our first date (when she was with the agency) was fun, but subsequent dates were even better, after she become independent.

She shared with me on one of our later dates how she had been stressed that day we first met, she had finished up with a not so nice guy shortly before I arrived as her last date of the day.  So from experience, I understand your point that even if you meet a decent guy, you can't just instantly change a mood and energy level - just not how it works for real human beings. And I remember she kind of laughed when I asked if she'd gotten my clothing inquiry (the first and last time I've made mention of clothes when setting up a date - I had asked the scheduler to ask her if she had the outfit from her photos).  My innocent niaivete both entertained and charmed her at the same time.  I didn't understand (at the time) the almost total lack of control she had and the revolving door she dealt with from being over-scheduled.  And mind you, this lady is no shrinking violet, she is very strong and highly intelligent - so if SHE couldn't control that situation (lack of communication from the agency and over-scheduling) probably NOBODY could.

So yeah, she pretty much echoed what you are saying re the difference between working for an agency and being independent.

Hope you continue to meet the kind of guys that YOU want to...

...you said you like the term courtesan.
I find that term to be so completely pretentious.
I'm much more of a down-to-earth type guy.
Different strokes for different folks obviously!
But good overall thread you started.

[

there are times that I wish they'd just mail in my check and not bother me with anything.

So, I can sort of see the jaded provider's point of view.

On the other hand, if they make me happy, I'm all set, either way.

What happens if you have a bad day at work? You'd probably tell your significant other or friend. However, many ladies don't/can't tell anyone about their work so they take to social media to get it off their chest. Typically these posts will be one extreme or the other, a really positive experience or a really negative experience. So I don't think social media should be used as a gauge for the attitude of escorts as a whole because it would be very skewed.  

Yes there are some women that do this because it is the only choice but there are some who do it because they generally like to do so. I believe that those who do it because they like to typically have better experiences because the selection process for who you see is more stringent.  

However for a "good" hobbyist, someone who is respectful and follows the rules of engagement, it may be unfathomable the depth of how bad a "bad" hobbyist can be. Stalking, cyberstalking, death threats, shorting donation, the list could go on and on. Most ladies can vent, compartmentalize, and move on. Not every hobbyist is out to do horrible things and if a provider feels that way and has the financial means to take a break, then that would seem like a reasonable thing to do

that is because people are inherently selfish. they have to be taught otherwise.

Note I said some. In every service industry, sex work definitely not excluded, there is grumbling about the clients. Most everyone does it. It is normal. For most it is a momentary disillusionment from the stress of the job and a client or two making it worse, but for a few it builds. This is especially true if she doesn't want to be there and do this. Some do come to hate us. Some waitresses also hate their clients, as do so bag persons. That is life. I do my best to avoid those that hate their job, but some are great actresses. But most of the grumbling is stress and a difficult client or to. Everyone vents.

At the end of the day people are people and have to live with themselves.  How they think or feel about you only has as much power as you grant them.  Don't take what they say to heart if it's damaging but, instead, learn from their patterns on how to avoid them or triggering such a discussion.  

Life's too short to dwell on those people or their hangups.  Let them deal with their own issues and keep their monkey off your back.

Thank you for this terrific and honest post!  (I get so tired of reading the same BS-dribble!)