And do they know anything about your "hobby" or practices?

I have two teenage daughters.  It's its own special challenge... doing the biz, having an adult website, raising my daughters to be true to themselves!  I'm very sexually free and expressive.  I practice BDSM and Tantra, besides vanilla.  My youngest recently said to me that she wished I were just normal - a regular Mrs. Jones.  She told me she wanted to get into S&M, but since I do it, she doesn't wanna do it!  Made me laugh!  I mean, what a thing for them.  Instead of me being a preachy, self-righteous, uptight type mom, I'm the opposite.  And kids usually wanna rebel against whatever their parents are!

Case in point: I was self-pleasuring myself in front of my live webcam (for my website).  Well, I didn't hear her knocking at the front door.  I had JUST tossed my cookies and was in recovery, when I heard her walk in!  I hid my object behind my back, she walked in and had heard the vibrator, of course!  She was smiling and shaking her head.  I looked up, a bit embarrassed, and said: "well, it's not your ordinary 9 to 5, is it?"  She just kept smiling and shaking her head.  Gees.

Still, I'd rather raise them this way than with all that conditioning I was raised with that sex was wrong, evil and something one should feel guilt and shame over.  Bah humbug to that!  XO Faye Desiree

Hilarious. The best thing about your situation, is that you know there are no rules, and therefore you are instantly and unavoidably enjoined to play things consistently, constantly by ear, always adjusting and modifying the plan. I think even the most puritanical, anti-sexual of households could survive happy and raise balanced children, IF it played all moments by ear like you are doing.

But then, what do I know. I have no kids, and am certainly not a puritanical anti-sexual sort. It's interesting that your youngest wants to rebel by keeping her action all vanilla. Funny.

I want to have ANY form of action. If all I could get was S&M, I'd "settle" for S&M, my parents' preferences notwithstanding. I don't even know if S&M would be rebellion or conformity. My personal goal is to find a venue where I can celebrate my sexuality. I grew up in a party town, have been to international carnivals like Rio's Mardi Gras, look good and keep fit and am still young, and STILL I can't get laid except with providers. They sure do take the edge off. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing, but I do know that I haven't EVER found a civilian individual partner, or group of friends, who are even the least bit supportive of the idea that heterosexual males should celebrate their sexuality. We're supposed to be frustrated by it. Viagra? Hah! I want ANTI-viagra, just to make the difference between desire and fulfillment a little less painful.

Women have that part easy ... ya wanna celebrate? Have a party! Invite your friends! Go to California, strip in the streets, get laid by well-meaning good-looking hard-bodies. Damn, what a life. Guys are just considered lechers and pervs if we go masturbate for our hot-looking friends without first having all the FEMALE trappings of an interaction, the parts that RUIN the goddamned experience. Talk, and sweet nicey-nicey, and long-term commitment, and planning for going to the zoo, and getting up at dawn for feedings.

On all those HBO documentaries about sex, there is always some chick who overcomes a repressive upbringing and eventually learns to celebrate her sexuality. By this, she means that she gets to love her job, have sex a lot, probably have a job that involves sex, and basically be proud of the human mammal that she is. I want the same opportunity. Any suggestions?

The best suggestion I guess, would be to try to get roles in porn movies. But ya know, porn doesn't seem like it would cut it. First of all, independent porn isn't something I know about. I'm not exactly into movie making, don't know squat from video, and don't really like the whole Hollywood phenomenon. Second of all, although I'm OK looking, I'm not hung like a horse and I'm not anything above average as far as the bod or the squirt. What IS IT with porn stars?!! The guys can squirt about a gallon, and like forty feet! How do they DO that?

Anyway, I'm just having fun posting tonight. That other thread about the rift between the genders has got me thinking. I want to "celebrate" my sexuality, too, and we all know that although it's the next best thing, paying a provider is not wholly being your own most celebratory self.

Nightie night ...

Two boys over 18 both aware of what Mom's does.  Older one better adjusted with it  Younger one had the stereo typical television ideaology about it.  Thought the men must be ugly, fat, gross, etc....you know the stupid stuff the media throws out.   Well from a safe distance he started seeing once in while Mom's clients arrive.  He thought I should try to marry one of them.  Of course, been there done the marriage thing and found it could be highly over rated.  This is so much better!!!!!

While I'm certainly never going to beat up anyone celebrating their sexuality..Here's what does and doesn't work for me.  Even the thought of my daughters knowing my sexual "habits" or practices simply horrifies me!  When I was growing up I kept my sexuality to myself...Started masturbating at the tender age of 11, after looking at pictures of Playboy (circa 1965).  The whole image of sexuality was strongly taboo in my Roman Catholic upbringing...I had much older GreatAunts and Uncles during that time that never displayed open affection, such as kissing on the lips...Hugs were okay.  I found that by making sex - in any form taboo it made the "act" so filthy, so sinful I was immediately aroused!  Our puritanical elders had it right in my book...I'm quite nearly a andromaniac because of the earlier lessons in life and I prefer that "edge" during sex...Making intercourse/sex acts fun,playful or something to be shared as if it were perfectly acceptable ruins my drive...I like it nasty as if I'm being bad...Minimizing the "sinfullness" of the act by openly displaying it ...significantly reduces the impact, for me.  I say we keep it taboo...I prefer feeling "beastly" during the act!

I have two teenaged daughters that I have raised since
pre-school age.  They are both (finally) in college, & have
the normal bf-gf relationships for that age group.
We have had to deal with them starting their periods, having
"female problems", all the usual "stuff" that young girls
usually take to "mom."
I share pretty much everything that I am doing with them.
They have seen me up and they have seen me down, like most
children, they want to see their parent(s) happy.
They do not know that I play for pay.  But they do know where dad spends his overnights, etc.

My two cents worth!

LM

I believe it depends on age as to what level of exposure is appropriate, as well as the tone of that exposure.

Sex - yes.  it is a natural act, and important for children to know about.

I do think that specifics of the act (or acts )should be left for them to discover.

I think that children should be raised with an understanding that sex is a beautiful thing...but the specifics are just confusing....Lets face it - we all have our specific level of taste...and it is based upon what we have found works for us. Children have no frame of reference for the specifics...With my kids I call that adult stuff...and they can figure that part out on their own...knowing that there is nothing wrong with any of it as long as nobodsy is hurt in the process.

Too often we push our specific issues on our kids.  What we want is for them to be happy....not to act out our own frustrations and dreams.

I am not sure how old our child is Faye who made the comment about S&M...but I sincerely hope she is well into her teens.

As emotional as sex is for youngsters...it is too easy for them to get confused and turned artound in such a way as to never find what THEY like.  Since they are looking to us, as parents for starting points..we should make it as general as possible with as little pressure as to direction as we can.

It is too easy for an open relationship with our children to turn perverse.  As mature as they might be...they are still children, and as such hold a level of innocence which should be protected without stifling their individuality.

Talk about a gray area....

Hello, this is my first post on the national discussion board on TER.  I will have to say that it is a very nice board.  Easy to read and navigate around.  The staff should be very please with themselves.

The discussion in this thread hits quite close to home.  I have a teenage son and I try desperately to keep him from knowing what I do.  I just do not what him ever looking at me and not just thinking of me as his "MOM." I realize that he probably knows I have sex, he is no fool, but I don't want to do it infront of him nor do I really want him meeting the men I am with unless I am going to marry that man.  No need in getting him all emotionally involved or questioning things.

Now, I am very open with him when it comes to talking about sex.  I feel that is necessary in today society.  I don't want him having to go to someone else to learn what I, as his parent, should have taught him myself.

Soon enough his attitude towards me will change as he grows older, but I would like to keep him as innocent as possible for as long as I can.

So in retrospect, I would have to say that I agree more with Brilliantboy and OverHere.

This is my opinion on the subject.  Not saying it is right, just my opinion.

Nice subject matter, BTW. Got me thinking.

An added thought:

One little funny, I remember when my son was about 10 and he was watching a nature program and saw a chimpanzee nursing her baby and he asked what it was doing.  I told him and kind of explaned things a little to him.  Obviously, he toiled this around in his little mind quite a bit.  For, it wasnt but a few weeks later that he came to me while I was getting dressed and asked me if he was breast fed to which I answered' "Yes", his response to this was "Yuck!" LOL

Have a great day!

Steami

And so is teenage pregnancy, STD's and AIDS.  Or are these the specifics you're talking about that are just too confusing?  I'm a strong believer in sex education, but it sounds like the education part is missing here.  I can't believe parents have this attitude.

I know there are an awful lot of single women that raise two or more kids, so I realize my saying this sounds like a double standard.  But regardless, there aren't too many single men that could do what you've done and successfully raise two daughters.  

In the midwest we used to refer to healthy "corn fed" girls, but this being California, I'm sure yours were raised on oatcakes!  Sorry, had to get that in.

Blow Jobs, Russian, Greek, Hand release, Fisting, Rimming, BDSM, Golden Showers, missionary, doggie, DATY...

Need I go on?

The specifics of the acts or acts themselves are what I refer to as not appropriate for children to learn from anyone but their own contemporaries or in their own time.

STD's, Birth Control, Rape, Teen Pregnancy...these are part of EVERYONE's reality.  As such, they need tobe taught to the kids...so that they understand the very real considerations of a sexually active life....and so that they correctly understand the consequences  - and as such do not need to fear them.

The What is important.

The HOW is not.  Let them determine their own level of taste themselves in the course of discovery.

OverHere

Sex, like Religion, has many different opinions based on fact as well as conjecture.  I believe an adage from my high-school "gearhead" days applies here.."Run what you brung"...If everyone raised their children the same, instilled the same beliefs in them, gave them all the same precautions and advise what a "homogenous" world we would live in!
There are casualties of "war"..And have been since time immemorial...That is inevitable.  All we can do as parents is the best we can  for our children...There HAS to be a time of discovery...inventiveness and the subsequent disappointments  and triumphs that go along with life's "lessons".  I'm not going to kid myself and say.. "Gee, because I shared everything I do with my kids they won't make the same mistakes I did!"  Having said that, I believe anyone who thinks this somehow circumvents the potential for failure is setting their children up for a fall and it's a big cruel world out there!
Education of STD's has nothing to do with parenting...Instilling common sense, taking precautions and setting them on their own two feet is the best possible course of action irregardless of your religious or sexual beliefs.
We agree to disagree...I am supremely confident of one thing...I taught my kids the best way I knew how...Now, it's  time to learn on their own!

I have often read your posts and really enjoyed them. But this one has me a bit awed. I am not sure I have ever told anyone here. But I have a 7 year old son. I very seldom tell my clients, and if I do it's because I slipped. I have tried to keep my pro life very seperate from my family life. I don't answer my phone in front of my son and I NEVER have had a client in my home. This business is not for children. Why do you think we have laws permitting girls to work who must be over 18 or 19? A child ( as I have been seeing in my son) has enough of a time figuring out their sexuality and their bodies without having other influences. Yes teach them about erections, feelings, birth control and STD's. But everything in it's place.Can an early teen really understand what S&M is? Does she comprehend the psychology of it? Or does she just think the Leather clothes are cool like any other rebellious teenager? I wron't talk to my son at this time about condoms, because it is not appropriate, but I will talk to him about touching his penis at every waking moment and why Mommy has hair and big "rasberries" (nipples) and he doesn't. If he wants to get into this business at some point in his life ( God forbid! LOL) he will have to learn it on his own. It's not a question of being Mrs. Jones. It's whether you should be exposing your child to this business and Adult Sexuality  in the name of being " A Hip Parent" . Yes, making your child feel dirty and evil when they are experimenting with their sexuality is wrong. But I also think it is wrong to give your husband/boyfriend/client head on the couch and risking your child having that ingrained in their memory. That stuff can come back to haunt you and that is unhealthy. Well just my .02$

I read your post several times and I still have no idea what you said, or meant.  Maybe you should read the post I responded to first so you get what I was talking about.  In case you missed my point, I was saying that to take the attitude that "sex is beautiful" and ignore the risk factors and the moral issues is irresponsible at best.  I know there are those who disagree, but this is, after all, a discussion forum is it not?

It's not fair sexually for men and women, nor has it ever been.  I'm sure we've all been in female and male bodies in various life times.  The pendulum of life being unbalanced for women has swung around... and now it must be very difficult to be a guy in today's world!  I feel for you.  People aren't into relationships as much these days, and even when they are, that doesn't mean they're getting good nookie.  Don't know what I'd do if I were a man... probably study Tantra or the art of great love making and then go out and find someone to practice with!  Good luck!  XO Faye Desiree

I don't try to shove anything in her face, but she's aware of what goes on.  I'm fairly liberal in my approach to life.  But she's an American.  I don't think our sexual attitudes, by and large in this country, are very healthy.  I have a good friend in Holland.  They're just more relaxed about their sexuality there.  She has a 16 year old who still reacts to her though.  Part of it is the age group.  It's a difficult time for everyone during those years...  XO Faye Desiree

Of course I've had these conversations with my kids: safe sex, STDs, emotional involvement vs. sexual appetite.  Were you aiming your question at anyone?  Do you have kids who are teenagers?  XO Faye Desiree

Did I give anyone the impression that I'm having sex or practicing sexual acts in front of my kids?  I'm not.  That's off limits.  Sorry if my first post left anyone with that impression.  Does she know what I do?  Yes.  I've always been very honest with my kids.  Does she participate in anyway or get involved with my end of the business - good god, no!  Faye Desiree

Dear Faye,
As I mentioned before, I enjoy most of your posts and discussions. But this one we just disagree. If I am a Mrs. Jones because of it, so be it. This is how I choose to do My thing. As another poster mentioned, any type of parenting is not fail proof. But I think we need to leave our experiences and misfortunes aside so as to not influence our childrens decisions later on. I apologize if I sounded too harsh in my original post. For some reason I'm thinking your youngest is 13 or 14... BTW My son did catch me looking at an adult site. He saw a photo of a topless very volumptuous lady with that "Cum fuck me look" in her eyes. What did he do??? He laughed his little ass off LOL!!! God bless little boys
Take care
Love Monet xoxoxoxoxox

In the same post I do believe that I was pretty clear regarding what was not appropriate without being vulgar....obviously you needed to have it spelled out for you in a language you understand a little better....thus my reply regarding the specifics.

lemme quote what I said originally

----I do think that specifics of the act (or acts )should be left for them to discover.----

I also said:

---I think that children should be raised with an understanding that sex is a beautiful thing...but the specifics are just confusing---

In my reply to your post, which you also apprently did not read...I was more explicit:"

----Blow Jobs, Russian, Greek, Hand release, Fisting, Rimming, BDSM, Golden Showers, missionary, doggie, DATY...
----The specifics of the acts or acts themselves are what I refer to as not appropriate for children to learn from anyone but their own contemporaries or in their own time----


If you want to "Discuss" then do not cherry pick sentences and ignore the rest of the post. I was NOT in agreement with Faye's apparent casual attitude towards sex and her children...although she has clarified her stance further down the string.

John, you are the one not discussing.

-- Modified on 6/29/2001 7:22:19 AM

If you read my post Faye, you could see who I was talking to.  

-- Modified on 6/29/2001 1:31:15 PM

"You got Sand caught in your Vagina Again didn't you?"
- South Park's Trey Parker as Cartman

What in the world did Faye do to deserve your Harsh replies?  Send you the sand?

You are DEFINITELY not having a discussion.  You just want to abuse.  Go abuse someone who can see you and therefore retaliate as you deserve.


Note the quotes.  those great words are not my own...having been caught stealing a line once this week I decided to give credit Where Credit is Due.

LookyLooky

-- Modified on 6/29/2001 11:41:37 AM

>>>
Don't know what I'd do if I were a man... probably study Tantra or the art of great love making and then go out and find someone to practice with!  
>>>

Nice in theory. Doesn't work in practice. The "go out and find" just doesn't seem to happen. I've tried lots of things -- making more money; obsessing less about my job; developing a strong network of friends; not spending so much time with non-romantic acquaintances; learning how to talk in mooshy seductive wiffly-waffly language; only ever being straightforward; stay on top of recent developments in the "battle between the sexes"; totally ignore that battle; etc. etc. It seems, some people have "mojo" and others don't. If I knew how to develop "mojo" I wouldn't be posting here. But as it stands, after 35 years of dating and attempts at mating, I've discovered that the only category of person who will even ENGAGE in sex at all with me, much less ENJOY it or allow me to REPEAT it, is aprovider. So "go out and find" is empty advice. I know you meant well. I'm sorry to mope. But it's just another case of Marie Antoinette ending up saying, "let them eat cake."

You are one beautiful lady!  Good luck in raising your son!  I've been a single mother for most of my girl's lives... it's a challenge - best one there is!  XO  Faye Desiree