I’d move on... NCNS is unforgivable IMHO. 
A few months ago I was ghosted by a provider I had seen 5 times....she no called no showed for our 6th appointment. I have not contacted her since, nor did she contact me. I know she is still booking appointments.
Has anyone ever given a Provider a 2nd chance based upon these circumstances? IRL, and in Corporate Life, I believe in 2nd chances, unless the person has lied to me or stolen from me. I don’t give anyone a 3rd chance.
My gut feeling is to just move on. I figure if she did it to me once, she will probably do it to me again. So my policy of 2nd Chances will not apply to Thieves, Liars, and Hookers!
Your thoughts please.
Of those times, about half I made out well, and half I regretted.
You either keep tossing those bones or you don't.
... with a young woman who was amazing in bed, would do anything and everything and had serial orgasms. She ghosted me, magically reappeared a year later and we started up again as if nothing ever happened. A few months later, I told her belts were being tightened a bit and I wouldn't be able to see her as often as we had been meeting. Left skidmarks, she was gone so fast.
Now I face something similar with a provider who I met when she first began. She ghosted after a year or so, became more of a big deal, raised her fees exponentially and now says she wants to get together again, grandfathered at her old rate, but always comes up with a last minute excuse.
Move on.... As Gagambler has said many times. - I will beg for pussy; I will pay for pussy. I will not beg to pay for pussy....
It really depends on how hot she is, how badly she behaved and how horny you are for her. That said, as a general rule I'd stay away. So long as there are good alternatives.
Once a flake, always a flake.
The fact that she has yet to contact you is appalling.
The question is, do you even want to see her again? If the answer is no, well, no point going any further.
I think you must be considering it though or you wouldn't have posted about it.
Assuming she is hot, skilled, sane and fun, why would it hurt to hit her up and see what she says? Pride and embarrassment are two things that keep girls from contacting guys after they fuck up.
There is also a "NEXT!" component from many of the women in this business so they stay distanced and a bit detached.
They can't fall for every client they meet, nor would they want to, but it seems like a healthy defense mechanism is in place with many to quickly move on from any bad experiences.
You can possibly break down that wall by a well worded, understanding and thoughtful email. Then gauge her response. Personally she should offer you SOMETHING in return. An apology for one, maybe some OTC time as well.
Judge things after she hits you back. How could that hurt?
... relieved when they go away?
I’d move on... NCNS is unforgivable IMHO.
Just go see her, hear her explanation, it could be the best session you have ever had. You know you want it, otherwise you wouldn't have asked us.
I had seen the lady a number of times. She reached back out to me a couple months later and gave an explanation. I honestly didn’t believe her but I genuinely liked her so made an exception and it’s gone strong for years since.
One and only time.
You answered your question.
If she pulled a NCNS, and then never made any attempt after the fact to explain, shes either not organized.... or not interested.
Even if it were a legit reason for missing the appointment....
Not following up to explain, says volumes about her.
regarding the nsnc, beyond an actual life & death emergency, not excusable (and in reverse sitch, any 2nd chance I might give requires a deposit).
main reason i'm posting is because saw some replies to effect of provider not getting back in touch afterward to explain.
i and a lot of providers i know have a strict "only speak when spoken to policy".
i've had ongoing clients say, 'you can text me anytime!"
nope, because all i ever picture is my text arriving when he's in shower and his significant other sees text pop up ending with "xoxo Kacy"
and my outlook is that trouble for him could mean trouble for me.
xoxo
Kacy TGirl
You are the buyer, she is the seller. In any commercial setting, including this one, when a seller disrespects a buyer, they don' deserve any more of your business. End of story.
Please tell me you're NOT thinking of "reaching out" to her. To me, that's a complete surrender of your manhood. Since she didn't contact you with a plausible excuse in a timely manner and offer some way to make it up to you, by making contact after this much time, you are telling her its okay to be disrespectful and you will always come crawling back. If you really feel like you need to be humiliated, then buy a cat-o-nine-tails and self-flagellate.
I have not reached out to her nor do I plan to! I have too much self respect for myself, and not enough time to deal with this. I posted because I wanted to gauge if anyone else had this type experience and how they reacted. Most of the posts are by Gentlemen who I may not always agree with, but certainly respect.
It also boils down to the fact that if she did it once, she would do it again; to me and other clients. Your 1st statements sums it up pretty well!
and according to almost everyone I have ever met, neither am I. lol
Back to your actual OP, yes I agree that if she'd do it once, she'd do it again. If she were to reach out to you, with a sincere apology and most likely a bullshit excuse, that would be one thing, but it's apparent that if she's still seeing clients, but not reaching out to you, you already have your answer about her feelings about retaining you as a client, much less a friend.
It is nice to see guys here with their nut sacks intact. That seems to be more and more rare on these boards, "having a set" is so often confused with misogyny around here, standing up for yourself doesn't mean you don't like women, it just means you won't tolerate disrespect and I happen to fully agree with that stance. NEVER "reward bad behavior" are words to live by.
Well like you have said over and over;
I have begged for Pussy
I have paid for Pussy; but
I never will beg to pay for Pussy.
My credo as well!
I am ALWAYS a gentleman with every woman I meet . . . . until she shows me by her own actions that she does not deserve to be treated like a lady. I have little time for classless women. You can put lipstick on a pig, and you might have a prettier pig, but its still a pig.
..life is what happens,when you're busy doing other things...had major overnight vanish...found out her apartment got robbed...phone stolen etc...i believe in second chances,once i discover what happened...but if no call/no reason..bye/bye...
no call no show, move on. even if she had to go to the emergency room or had a family member pass, she should have contacted you, apologized and asked what she can do to make it up to you once she was back to work.
If she's the best fuck you've ever had and that's what matters most then put up with the BS.
If you value your time and expect professional courtesy, then forget about it.
Simple.
Thanks for your replies. I will not be reaching out to her. Many Prominent posters have le ft interesting comments. Even putting pride aside, it really boils down to one of my final original comments; “if she did it to me once, she will probably do it to me again”!
Life is too short; List of Beautiful Sex Workers is too long!
Depends. I would think that if I had seen her 5 times that there would be great chemistry otherwise why the hell would I see her 5 times?
And if I have seen a lady 5 times there must be some sort of rapport, so I would probably reach out to her to see what she says. I would expect a sincere apology, a logical explanation even if BS, a reason why she hadn't already apologized, and some sort of attempt to make up for it. Absent most and probably all of those I would move on. However, I would be curious to see how she responds.
If it was a lady that I have never seen before I would probably just move on. Different situation.
She was NCNS, and to this day, has not contacted the customer. Only a love-sick puppy or a man who likes being a door mat would give a second chance in such a situation.
Ok, I will bite. You appear to have misread my response. Very well aware of the facts. I didn't say that I would absolutely do anything. I would just most likely want to see how she responds given that this hypothetical person is someone that I have seen multiple times. I didn't say that I would give her a second chance. I would just want to see her response and go from there. On the other hand, if I haven't seen her before then I would most likely just move on. Usually the ladies that I have seen once let alone more than once are eager to meet up again, so I would be curious why this lady is an anomaly.
this type of behavior is all the more egregious. She won't say it out loud, but she will be thinking to herself, "I KNEW he'd come crawling back," and you are giving her the go ahead to treat you like dirt going forward. I agree with your statement that if you hadn't seen her before, you would just move on. My point is that if you HAVE seen her before and she's still willing to be a douche, why wouldn't you STILL just move on?
Reaching out because of curiosity is a waste of time. If she gives you a lame excuse, are you going to prostrate yourself before her and say all is forgiven? Relationships, business or personal, only success when everyone involved is equal. If you hand her all of the power by coming back to her for any reason, you are no longer equal and setting yourself up to be treated even worse in the future. You are just setting yourself up to be played for a sucker.
Not disagreeing with much of what you said. There aren't a lot of ladies that I want to see multiple times. Any lady that I have seen that many times I probably treated very well and I must have felt that she was super into me otherwise I wouldn't have repeated that many times. Given that I don't lack self awareness I would probably want to see how she responds and why/where my read of the situation was off. What is wrong with wanting to see if there is an opportunity to become a better client for future ladies? Extremely unlikely that I would see her again, though. That is very disrespectful and inexcusable.
up until . . . . "I would probably want . . . . ." Why would you expect to get help becoming a better client from a woman like this? Why would her opinion be relevant to how you would interact with women who are NOT like her? Its like asking a career criminal what is the best way to be honest. How much weight do you give the response? You don't. Her opinion is worthless because of her lack of character and integrity. Trust me, NOTHING good can come from any more contact with someone who did this to you, only drama, and who needs that?
I can wrap my head around a lady that I have never met being a NCNS. I cannot wrap my head around a lady that I have seen multiple times being a NCNS. I wouldn't see a lady that many times if she didn't have integrity/character. There are plenty of hot ladies in LA.
Especially from someone who instead of simply refusing to book with me, but instead was so inconsiderate about my time as to simply NCNS on me. I don't honestly care what someone like that thinks about me.
I know how to show up on time, I know how to wash my own ass, (although it's fun to have it done for me sometimes) I know how to be a "good client" the last thing I need is some entitle cunt telling me what's wrong with me when I am the aggrieved party.
You do know I hope that is really is ok to act like a man with a spine. I don't ask the crook who robbed me if I did something to make him pick me to rob, I can't imagine wanting to ask a hooker who stood me up if somehow it was my fault. My gawd man, grow a fucking pair.
I hate to agree with you, but I do. Some people need to buy some self respect.
Good news, as business is slow, I have time to offer courses on how to obtain some self respect. I am thinking of advertising here on TER. There definitely seems to be a shortage of self respect here on TER so demand should be high. Let's say I charge $1K per class a real bargain if it avoids sitting around while having to sit around while being NCNS and beating one self up over the provider's bad behavior.
So what do you think? Of course I couldn't offer any guarantees as I suspect some here are beyond all help but those people have little to loose anyway.
but I think that the only way those who ought to take your course will be if a court mandates it.
And have a no refund policy for those beyond help. It sounds expensive, but for some here, it would be worth every penny. However, the ones who really need it are not likely to think they do. A conundrum for sure.
I mean I would have to start at the most basic level. It is not like many would have any concept of what self respect is let alone how to have some. I read some of the sad comments here and it is plan a doormat has more of a spine. I have read accounts of people waiting hours for a NCNS to call or show, all the time thinking it is their fault, followed up then begging the so call sex worker to see them. And if some of the ladies stories are half true I will have to teach basic ass whipping as well. The stories I read here prove what a monumental task teaching self respect around here would be.
Sadly I think mrfisher is right. It would take a court order to get those most of need of my class. I thought I would offer. Some here are in desperate need.
I think charging a minimum of $1K an hour is just fine. I think I will open my school directly across the street and charge $2K, the people most in need of a spine will automatically assume that the $2K class is twice as good, just like they think a $2K hooker is twice as good as a $1K hooker, and paying the tuition in the first place is proof positive about just how badly they need the class. hmmm, maybe I will charge $5K an hour and I won't even hold classes, anyone THAT dumb will be too embarrassed to even ask for their money back, just like the spineless jellyfish who go through with sessions even when the fat old hag that answers the doors has ZERO resemblance to the hottie in the pics. lol
Fuck, I put it out there first. That does it I will offer an extra deluxe class at $10K and throw in a custom school hat. That should prove my classes are better than yours.
Yeah, sure I will. lol
and I'll offer a super delux class at $20 and throw in a T-shirt that says "I am strong decisive person, hear me roar" LMAO
The last paragraph is the stoooped shit that I expected to hear. This is all bullshit. I have had a lady NCNS probably a handful of times. But never a lady that I have seen multiple times. I cannot wrap my head around that for several reasons. In LA there are way too many extremely hot ladies. And frankly if I had to choose between two equally hot ladies - one that I have seen before and one that I haven't, well, I would see the one that I haven't seen before. Hate to admit it but I am kinda a 🐖 like that. Point is that for me to see a lady that many times she would have to be more than just really hot. So I probably would reach out to her at the very least to ensure that she is ok. Who knows what might have happened? How that inquiry is made would really depend on the situation? Regardless of her response, I would not be inclined to see her again.
I have never lived in one of those really shitty states in the center of the US where hot escorts are few and far between - and neither have most of the guys that are providing advice. Odds are that most of those guys wouldn't follow their own advice if they lived in one of those places where there are 2 or 3 decent escorts in the entire state. It is bullshit to speculate. It is easy to say that you would not reach out.
Unfortunately, I suspect that most of the guys who have a lady NCNS after seeing her multiple times really fucked up somewhere and probably lack the self awareness to even know that they fucked up. Ladies want repeat clients. Right now the economy is terrible and in such times many ladies unfortunately assume more risk and see a guy that they wouldn't see under different circumstances.
Probably usually the lady tolerated the guy and couldn't take it anymore. Maybe he was gross or a drunk or became too friendly or overstayed his time or pushed boundaries or misread the situation. I suspect that guys that have a lady NCNS on them after patronizing that lady multiple times usually fucked up somewhere. Dunno. I have trouble wrapping my head around this one. I suspect that this sort of guy may move onto another lady and have a similar experience because he lacks self awareness and never changes his behavior. So WTF take 5 min and send her a note. Similar to what you did in the post, reach out to her and tell her that you have been stalking her which is how you know that she has still been seeing other guys after she was a NCNS. Ok, don't do that, but maybe just ask her if she is ok because this isn't like her? Or ask her if you did something wrong? Just see what she says.
I am just getting tired of seeing these sorts of posts. I suspect that the root cause of many of these sorts of posts is a lack of self awareness. Usually the first indicator of that is when the guy posts under a handle vs. an alias.
A sense of humility can go a long ways.
Second chances are for those that are apologetic. I too believe in second chances but only if the offender owns it and tries to make it right.
If she owned the NCNS I would think about it. But it sounds like no such apology came. No way would I see her again. My time is extremely valuable. My self respect is even more valuable. Both are more important than my trying pay to bed a woman who respected neither in the past.
Second chances are for those that own they need one. I do give second chances but only to those that own what they have done and apologize.
Losers.
The saying goes.