I thought she was getting fat and unattractive, she disagreed. That was over 20 years ago.

Do you know what I miss about that woman? Neither do I, but I hope she is doing well wherever she is today. lmao

They say the best revenge is living well, I strive to "get revenge" every day. lol  Actually I am way too happy with my own life to give her anything more than a passing thought whenever I read one of these posts. Getting revenge is for people who think they have been victimized. I am hardly a victim, just a happy, drunken, whore mongering pig. oink oink

Guys do you wait for your wives to initiate sex or do you initiate sex?  I'm assuming the guys are the ones that initiating sex, however, after you are denied a few times do you still try?  I'm not married but I had this interesting conversation with a married friend of mine.  He told he's wife that he loves sex and would have it every night if he could.  So he told her, you tell me when because I always want it.   Ladies does that make sense?  I don't like this theory because then the women is always the one that initiates sex.  I guess the bottom line is how many times can you initiate sex and be denied and as a result you stop initiating.   Thoughts, comments and suggestions.    Thank you

We have Sunday "date night" if we've not managed to get it on before then.  It's not easy, with kids, schedules, and everything.  This is a good backstop.  Sometimes neither of us really feels like it but we do it anyway and it's always good we did.  

I decided I wasn't going to have sex with her. She hasn't noticed or said anything yet.......

It's just a matter of how much you are willing to pay for your freedom. That's why divorce is so expensive, IT'S WORTH IT!!!, every fucking penny. lol

and we were newly weds.  Blammed it in lack of privacy because of her children.  She refused to be inovative.  She claimed it wouldn't always be like that.  No, it went to zero.  The children have long since married & moved away.  I've stopped asking.  How many rejections does it take to get the message?   If I could get out, I would have some time ago.  

and if you are not, then I suppose you have your reasons. I try not to judge, but every once in a while you married guys that cry the blues about how miserable your lives are just scream to me "DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!"

I do agree that sex isn't everything, but sneaking around for the rest of your life fucking hookers and running scared that she will catch you just can't be any kind of life IMO.

and yes, I am being judgmental despite my stating that "I try not to be". So sue me. lol

FWIW, I could not "financially afford" a divorce when I got mine, but I could not imagine living my life married to that woman a single day longer, so I sucked it up and suffered through a couple of years of poverty to earn my freedom. Best decision I ever made, but I am aware that some peoples lives are more complicated and you have your reasons, just like I have mine.

When I was married, I would initiate 99% of the time. My ex rarely would. It always had to be on her schedule. If she wasn't in the mood, it never happened. She'd give me hell for it if I attempted to seduce her or change her mind. However, if she did initiate, and I wasn't in the mood due to stress, work, life, etc... I'd get hell for not turning it on like a light switch. This would also happen after being shut down multiple times back to back so I'd get disinterested in her. (I was not hobbying while we were together.) I think it depends on the woman, but if her attitude is standoffish, it's a huge turn off to me and I won't be interested in her, no matter how attractive she is.

but I remember it being pretty even.  Sometimes I would initiate and sometimes she would.  Just kinda depended on the day.  And Im one of those weird guys where sometimes Im tired and its not happening.  That being said 95% of the time she initiated I was ready.  Kinda hard to say no when she straddles you in your favorite chair with nothing but a sexy nightie on.  I would say 80% of the times Ive initiated she was ready.  I remember one time where she just wasnt feeling well.  Most of the other times she was on her time of the month..........and ACK, no thanks.  
However, I have had GF's that just seemed to never want to.  Was always some BS reason.  So I found some BS reason to not call them anymore.  It does become frustrating when you always try and just keep being rejected.  I read somewhere that women, not all women seem to like to work up to sex while guys like spontaneous sex.  I relate to that because if I have a 'planned' happy time with an SO it seems to not work, but on the SAME day same circumstances if she wouldve just jumped on me it probably wouldve happened.  Anyways the fix is that the women plan a day for it but dont tell the BF, husband etc.  This way the woman can work herself up to it and the guy feels like its unplanned.  We tried this for a time me and my ex.  Worked out fairly well actually.

cues, but in my defense, it is not entirely my fault.    For example, she will start a fire in the backyard and bring out a bottle of wine or she will heat up the pool and bring out a bottle of wine or give me a special kiss.   The problem with all of that is that sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, heating up the pool is just heating up the pool and starting a fire in the yard is just starting a fire in the yard.    Now, the one cue that I don't miss and which ALWAYS means one thing only would be  a sexy silky nightgown.

Are you implying that my wife has sex with me? What next, flat earth?

We also do it often. We have sex four or five times a week, when she is not working.

Marriage isn't just about sex or lack thereof. So it's not simply a matter of, "I'm not getting the quantity and/or quality of sex that I'd like from my wife, so as long as I can financially afford a divorce, I'm dumping that broad!"

try expanding your mind beyond your own little world where you hated your wife so much that you couldn't imagine being with her one more day. Try to imagine, if you can, a marriage that isn't like that. One where there is mutual love, but one partner is incapable of the intimacy desired by the other. So the partner suffering from lack of intimacy decides to "DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT" short of divorce, knowing it's not a great solution but is probably the best option out of all the not-great options.  

I think what GaGambler is saying is that you have a choice and that choice is yours... Only you know your circumstances... I don't think he is trying to judge your choice... But what he is saying is, once you've made that choice own it and don't come on the boards and cry about it... Not saying you are, but the poster who started this branch does, and frequently

I guess he was feeling guilty for cheating on his wife, and my words to Harborview sent him over the edge.

The difference (ok, jsut "one" of the differences) between him and I, is that he actually gives a fuck what I think. I don't know this fucktard and really couldn't give two fucks (or is that two shits?) If my comments got him all butt hurt.

Some people are awfully sensitive it appears, sheesh. I wonder how he is going to feel when I tell him how I really think? Do you think he is going to go all "tough guy" on me, or do you think he will simply curl up in the fetal position??? lmao

Here's a little something to help. LOL.

-- Modified on 11/17/2014 12:49:49 PM

"You can always get out. It's just a matter of how much you are willing to pay for your freedom. That's why divorce is so expensive, IT'S WORTH IT!!!, every fucking penny. lol"

but if you were to ask me if I enjoy torturing the "uber sensitive" than the answer would have to be an unequivocal YES!!!

Guys come on this board every fucking day and whine about how bad there sex life is and how "if they had a choice" they would "dump the bitch" My point is that you always have a choice, some guys just don't have the balls to make an actual choice, choosing instead to slink around making both themselves and their wives miserable in the process.

Now don't get me wrong, MANY of my friends are lying, cheating husbands who for reasons of their own choose to stay married and see hookers on the side, but those aren't the guys that come on here whining about it. Those are the guys I don't judge, I choose/chose a different path, but I rarely if ever get judgmental with the guys that aren't "whiners" Once you start whining about a problem that only you can fix, yeah I will bust your chops for it everytime. Call it a character flaw of mine. lmao

but yeah, I think you nailed it. lol

As for me, I can laugh at just about anything, including people who suffer "by choice" They might get mad at me just like this guy, but IMO the guy getting mad is ALWAYS the one losing the argument. As they say in poker terms "winners tell jokes, losers say DEAL" lmao

But what I don't understand is why you are acting all butt hurt about it... GaG stated his opinion... which like assholes, we all have... and he's right that divorce is an option, albeit a selfish option, but an option none the less.  I guess we need to handle you with care huh?

After my husbands little indescresion last year,we made a pact to never say no if one of us initiates it,no matter how we feel, the only time is when its girly time,and then I will take care of him several times that week.......I made a vow to NEVER take what we have for granted,and have come to realize how incredibly important sex is.......we literally have sex about 4 to 5 times a week.....and I love it.

Same here. We both initiate.
 She does say that I get an erection if the wind blows.  
In our early days,  Stress was a huge deterrent brought on mostly from a heavy work load and any financial woes. Preacher told us before we said I do,  that $$$ particularly the lack of would cause more problems than any other. For us he was correct. We just did not think sex when you did not know if you could pay the bills.  
Hard work paid off, 4 x last week

That way maybe he will be able to tell the difference in the future. lol

BTW this dumbass forgets that I wasn't even talking to him when I made my comments. I mean to be completely honest, I don't even know who the fuck he is, nor do I really care, but if he wants to take Rods place as the board piñata, I am happy to oblige.

Yes, you care. Of that I am 100% positive. As for me caring about what you think, who the fuck are you again? I can't seem to remember who you are.

and I don't have to "drop into" insult mode, I pretty much live there for douche bags like you.

I would be happy to pick this up later, but right now I have to go get laid. You have a wonderful day now. lol

Here I am trying to broker a peace and you go and throw gasoline on the fire... damn, you Texans are incorrigible! LOL.

So I am out of here for a while as well.

I wonder who will keep this fucktard company while we are gone? lol

HA I see what you did there.  Hmmmm I think you are taking it a bit personal, and thats usually my job around here.  I think if you look at Gamblers comments in a very generic and objective standpoint it wouldnt feel so pointy, so to speak.  Divorce is an option and regardless of what kind of price, be it human or financial his point still stands that if you're willing to pay then you do, and if you dont then you can go on hoping to not get caught.  Which I agree is a crappy way to live.  But thats our take on it and I for one am not trying to push that on you just saying its my viewpoint.  The fact that Gambler can "lol" about the situation is not something to get upset over, he's entitled to laugh at anything he wants, you dont have to agree but theres no need to get angry.  Lesson we've all learned on this board, me included.  

I totally agree with this.  Getting "revenge" is silly.  I think the best way to show someone that they are no longer important in your life is to not waste another iota of energy, thinking or even remembering them in anyway.  At that point you've truly proved that they can go do whatever they like and you truly DONT CARE.

Just not the ONLY option, as GaG strongly implied.  

is that something new?

Reading comprehension... never would have expected it from you...  

That you were replying to HWC and not me... you might want to switch to tree mode.

It's tough work, but someone has to do it.

-- Modified on 11/17/2014 1:30:48 PM

is someone who gets so bent out of shape when someone calls him out on his narrow-mindedness that he drops into insult mode. Also makes lots of assumptions about what someone's thinking/feeling as they post, and their motives behind their actions that only they know.  Then starts his usual bluster about tough he is, while those who disagree with him are whiners.  

Especially in a long term relationship.  So the consistent morning wood or anytime the wind blows thing gets a little boring. Who intiates it, if you don't move quick enough for my liking when we're snuggling or close I will. I have no issues saying I want you.

Stick to the topics related to hookers!!!! This Dr Phil shit is ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!

So you divorced your wife for getting fat and unattractive????  Way to NOT be judgmental there..........soooooo fucking glad my man likes my curves!!!!!  

I was, but I also had to include that I was laughing at your joke.......was torn on where to place it.

Im not.  I didnt insult you in any way shape or form, just pointing out a few things that I had to come to realize, and I think would benefit you as well.  That being said, you should ask yourself are you taking things a bit too personal as my comments were not insulting at all yet you took them that way.  Just an honest observation.....

If you're upset about GaG's post, let me inform you it may have been the most even-handed, non-judgmental post I've ever seen him make.  You seem awfully angry.  That can't be healthy.

Do you know how to follow a discussion tree?

But you replied to it anyway.  Since when is there a rule on this board about which posts you can, and cannot, reply to?  Oh.  Right.  That's your rule, to be trotted out whenever you want.  You do know what that's called don't you?  It's called hypocrisy.  Own it.

Why is it that anger is assumed when someone disagrees?  Is it because I didn't put a smiley face or "lol" at the end?

It was clear Leon mistakenly thought one of my posts was directed at him, when it wasn't. It had nothing to do with what people can and can't reply to. Sheesh.  

my left hand does!

I came late to the thread and, after reading your posts it's clear who the angry one is here.  Not to mention over-sensitive.  Now I must read the drivel you posted under me just below this one.  You really are quite energetic.  I guess having your panties continually in a wad will do that to a guy.
Lookin' good

and YES I'd hit on you there too!



Steph

-- Modified on 11/17/2014 4:14:42 PM

Everyone else who read them, I am quite sure, correctly assumed you were pissed.  Saying you're not simply rings hollow.
You are correct in one thing, however, GaGa is quite ill-mannered.  He's actually quite proud of it.  As for name-calling, he calls himself more rude names than anyone.
And if you go back and read his original post here, he carefully qualified almost everything he said.  So no "sweeping generalizations" at all.
Now go enjoy your nap

The last time I checked... Divorce is an option for everyone... Whether they choose to exercise it is another question all together.  I do agree it should be an option of last resort because once a commitment is made it shouldn't be broken lightly.  Some are too cavalier about it and some make it a much bigger deal than it needs to be.  

we are entertaining guests and take me away to another room.  Whatever the situation, I want her.  I tend to try to initiate quite often, but since she is pretty unreceptive unless she is already "in the mood", we generally do it mostly when she initiates.  As much as we talk, flirt, play grab ass, hug, kiss, doesn't matter, if she isn't in the mood, we don't do it.  Unfortunately she's rarely in the mood.when she is, she's great.

Anyway, it's really not the topic of this thread.  

And there is just plain fat. GaG is not attracted to fat. I am not attracted to fat. Plenty of people are not attracted to fat and that is not a crime but a preference that will determine whether someone is sexually attractive to an individual or not.  

Leave, or don't, or whatever floats your boat.  But shit, if I were in your shoes I'd be gone. You sound miserable. I've got kids, love (and enjoy fucking) my wife, but also like to meet new friends now and then.  The bile here is really toxic. Move on if you can and want to.  Or suck it up and quit complaining.  Jesus.

You're like the ten-year-old kid on the playground who gets called a name, can't think of a retort and yells, "No, YOU!"
Please, for the love of GaGa, rush out and buy some game.

The really stupid part is, I did it twice.  But don't worry.  I'm cured now.

how weak ALL of you are? How weak it is to have nothing to contribute in a thread, so you pick someone to beat up. Since you made that promise to not pick on Rod, you have to find someone else I guess.

but now nobody does.  She began to be crabby on a monthly, then weekly and then daily basis.  It's like that song "It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long".  I wouldn't mind leaving but I love my son and am very close to him

I don't know what your reasons for not getting a divorce is, but I know there are good reasons.  I for one would divorce my wife immediately, but I could never stand to live away from my son.  Nor could I put him through the crap that would entail.  My wife and I keep things sane around the house and we actually can get along very well because we both love him.  As long as we're able to keep things amicable then it is what it is.  Yes I have to slink around, but it's a hell of a lot safer than having an affair and then worrying if some woman will call me on the house phone or show up on the front porch.  Or maybe someone we know sees me out with a different woman.  Someday it will be a real option for me.

This guy HWC does seem if not TSSTTT, he is at least "too thin skinned to be on GD" of course, if Rod is going to stop acting like a pinata, and has truly learned his lesson, this douche bag could be an adequate substitute pinata, he certainly takes himself seriously enough to be fun to fuck with. AND he doesn't seem to let the facts get in his way.

but then, like you I did something about it. Unlike you, it only took one time before the lesson sunk in. I guess what they say about chinks being smarter than heebs is true after all. lmao

Actually, there are many, many positives to being married to the right person. In my case when I say "it's not you, it's me" I am telling the absolute truth. I think at this stage of my life at least, I can only stand so much "togetherness" that multiplied by the fact that no matter how hot the woman I am with at any given time, it only takes another hot woman to walk by me to turn my head. I am just too big a pig to make a good husband to any woman right now. That might change someday, but in the meantime if I were ever to get married again, I would be right here with the rest of the lying cheating husbands, sneaking around so they can get some "strange".

I will immediately jump on a plane, come to your house and whack you upside the head with a 2X4.  It will hurt.  But you will thank me later

Only a true friend would go to such lengths to protect someone from himself.

and in return I promise to do the same. In fact I will do even one better. You don't even have to tell me that you are getting married again for me to whack you with a 2X4, now how is THAT for a true friend. lol

as for me, that was not the ONLY reason I got divorced, but it was WAAYYY up there. The other reason was sort of related, when my ex wife and I first got together she was the life of the party kind of girl. She would be the first one to make arrangements for a bunch of to go to the beach, a concert or whatever. Some how in a period of just a couple of years she aged twenty.

One day I came to the realization that if I were to stay with her, I would be sentencing myself to a lifetime of boredom hanging out with old people and I would rather eat a bullet, or in my case give up every penny that I had to avoid that fate. Now I spend my time fucking twenty somethings and I am as happy as a rutting pig.

What works for me might not work for every or even anybody else, but it works for me. I hope you don't think that I am asking for permission or approval for the decisions that I have made in my life, Quite frankly my dear I don't give a fuck. "Rhett Butler didn't give a damn, Curly gives shits, as for me, I don't give fucks. lol"

A man walks into a bar and sees an Orangutan at the other end, sipping a beer.  He calls the barkeep over and asks, "What's up with that?"  Barkeep says, "You wanna see something amazing?  Watch this."
He goes to the other end of the bar, pulls a baseball bat from under the bar and whacks the Orangutan in the head with it.
The Orangutan puts down his beer, climbs over the bar, pulls down the barkeep's fly and gives him a blow job. Then he climbs back over the bar and goes back to sipping his beer.  The barkeep comes back down the bar and says to the guy, "Whaddaya think?  You want some of that action?"
The guy says, "Wow! Yeah! I sure would! But do you have to hit me in the head with the bat first?"

That statement, Never initiated sex in 25 years!

That was my Ex in our marriage, in 19 years she never initiated sex. Guess what ? it was very expensive in so many ways, But I got Out.

Had the same thing, decided she wasn't in to it, so I never brought it up any more and went 2 yrs without sex with her, didn't really miss it much because it wasn't that good. Thank goodness for the Hobby! However once they lose their passion and heart for you, hard to get it back especially after they have given their heart to someone else during the course of marriage, like 3 times over!! Happily separated now and can enjoy the hobby guilt free!! My only advice and I don't mean to be cruel, if she is not missing it with you, she may have another, sorry if that is cynical , but I lived it.