Here we go again...It finally happened to me 3 months ago after meeting a wonderful provider. The multi-hour session was the best I had ever had, her looks were what I had always dreamed of and her personality and mine "clicked." I instantly scheduled another session and it just got better ON ALL LEVELS. More than 1/2 dozen sessions later we are in contact everyday via e mail and meet socially between our sessions on a "pal" basis. I use her "real" name and she mine (no, it's NOT really "idiocyreigns," LOL). Having done the "hobby" for over 15 years, I've never experienced this. She is an active provider, posting and reviewed on TER and advertising on BP and EROS. As for me, I am in a long term relationship. I know the odds for anything serious developing are low based on the forum where we first met and the fact that I am twice her age but I find it wonderful to have met and interface with her, to put it mildly. Is it overstepping to engage her in discussion concerning how we should continue? I know there are those that will say "run" and I respect that opinion but I'm looking to hear from those - on BOTH sides - who are of the "stay" opinion.

Simple. Keep paying her for sex and enjoying it.  She is not going to quit providing. Are you going to dump your long-term SO?

Don't overthink it, unless you "want" to fuck it up. It's not overstepping to "engage her in discussion" on the subject, but IMO it's stupid.

Look at the possibilities, either you will scare her off if she only wants casual, you will find out that she is interested in a LTR, then WTF do you do with your existing SO, or you just end up putting serious thought where lighthearted fun used to be. Do any of these scenarios look inviting to you?

You currently have what most of us would consider the "ideal" situation, how can "discussing it" possibly make it any better?

Why not continue as is? Seems perfect fun, relax and enjoy.

I am a success story. Others will say differently.lol  Ter,or something comparable,will always be around.

Can you deal with her continuing to have sex with others? Are you ok with losing your LT? You already have the 'cheating' down pat.

Btw; BP is using her in their advertising?LOL

My advice, continue as is and enjoy! Quick question, how do you feel when you read her new reviews?

If so, what makes you think she wants anything but the current relationship?  Maybe she is just giving you a true GFE.

The OP was not yet at the point you are, but you will find some useful and thoughtful advice here.

to appreciate and enjoy the lady and what you two are sharing as it stands right now, without it "going" anywhere

because you will probably lose it all if you do not recognize and remember the fact that there are still boundaries to be respected, and that the lady is in charge of setting or adjusting those boundaries.  

You need to be fully aware of and understand her lifestyle without jealousy posessiveness or any attempt to control her, and to be trustworthy and supportive and keep any confidences

to be grateful for what you have without pushing to make it anything more

offering more (gently respectfully and non-obtrusively) is okay - as long as you don't overdo it. Everyone wants to be wanted lol

and trying to have the whole store for yourself, and any time you want. Recommend continuing ongoing visits when the store is open

Discussion?  Not yet.  First you must answer where you want it to go, exactly?  Before you rock the boat & spoil a great hobby relationship...  Are you willing to give up the SO/LTR for her?  
If you think you are, then can you support your new love?  What is it you would want from her?  But until you answer your own Q's, no point in asking her.
skb

You have to know when to jump off it so you don't crash into the beach and end up with a mouth full of sand.

That might be one week from now, one month, one year, or ten years.

What ever it is, just go for it.

Where is it written that because you like someone, click with them and there is some degree of reciprocity that the situation HAS to "advance" anywhere?

Why not simply enjoy the woman's many virtues and appreciate her existence and how she benefits you.

This idea that all relationships that click must advance to lifetime commitments or necessitate some sort of heavy choice is silly.

I have had only one provider relationship that went to idiocy's level of feelings, and I agree---enjoy all of what you have...intimacy, spectacular sex, someone with whom you can share, and little risk of the bad stuff in a relationship---since you pay and leave, and everyone is on their best behavior for your brief meetings.  You're getting the best of each other.  But, you aren't her one and only, she's not your one and only.  So keep the fantasy, and do what I did---ask her, when it is time, to make the break swift,complete and final to minimize the angst.

(Surprisingly) rational responses. I guess I do have it good and I realize I can muck it up with too much introspection. Yes, it is kind of creepy to read the new reviews and see her PM's to hobbiest's on the boards and their responses to her TER postings, but what the heck, it is her way of making a living - and probably a nice one at that and she is incomparable in her escort activities. Providing is much more lucrative to her than what other 20-somethings are making in this economy.
I'm pretty sure that not too many of her clients, if any at all, have the relationship I have with her on a personal level in terms of familiarity of her "non pro" life. Oddly, seeing her outside of the paid sex relationship is almost like being with different person. She's shy and physically, though still gorgeous, looks very different (no cracks about wearing regular shoes instead of FMP's please).
I'm also interested in hearing from providers on this: from my experience, the veil between pro & private lifes is usually not dropped: is it significant that it seems to have slipped here? One of the bottom lines is that I can see myself "hanging out" with her as we share a lot of out of the bedrooom interests including active sports, travel and wine sampling. Is it crazy to ask her if she would she entertain meeting my S/O on a social level so we could do this? I realize that she probably never would have given me a second glance if I had not originally contacted her (thanks TER ) but also feel that this point of contact is history. I also know that the "litmus" test is whether she would still see me if I was not paying - pretty sure about the answer for the bedroom part, not so sure about the answer for the non-bedroom part that has been "off the clock."

But keep your wits about you.


* Introducing her to your S/O is never a good thing.  How will you explain knowing a beautiful young woman half your age?  Don't think for a moment your S/O won't see through any alibi as women have a "sixth sense."

* Taking her out socially, travelling, etc. is also unwise.  Chances are you will run into someone you know.  Unless you travel for business, how do you explain suddenly travelling without your S/O.

Its obvious you are more than infatuated with her.  However, she may not feel the same.  She may just enjoy your companionship and friendship.  Any ideas of your S/O, this lady and you riding off into the sunset happily are delusional unless you have an open relationship with your S/O and she accepts your hobbying.  Even then a woman half her age may pose a threat to her.

Why do you need to know where, if anywhere, this is going.  Can't you just enjoy the adventure?

You state: 'the veil between pro & private lives is usually not dropped: is it significant that it seems to have slipped here?'

You are reading way, way too much into this. Most of my clients see the 'real' me. About 30 of them know my real name, 8 have been to my home and 2 have been in daily contact with me for years and know all aspects of my life. I also spend off the clock time with handful of my fave clients. However I have ZERO romantic interest in ANY of them.

She simply sees you as a client who is also a friend.

Stop before you fuck this up royally.

You just want to hear what you want to hear and you want providers to tell you that it's OK. You want your cake and eat it too. You want to introduce her to your S/O? How selfish and deceitful is that!?! You are already fucking someone else, who cares if it's a provider...you think your SO would care if it's P4P or for free? And now you're gonna get all chummy the three of you while you fuck her as well. You're one piece of work.

there are going to be people who click better than others.  I have clients I have become friends with outside of our P4P. But if they want to play they do pay, and if we want to hang out as friends, we go do that.  

I have one friend who I am really quite fond of and we do quite a bit together and will probably be lifetime friends.  I think both of us have wondered...."should it be something more because we may be compatible?".  I know from my side, at this point in life, no.  As long as I am providing, it's not gona work.  It doesn't mean you don't have a good thing, it just means, it is what it is.  

Society bangs into our heads these silly notions that there has to be a culmination of all relationships into some permanent thing, or commitment, or a final acceptable destination of some sort. But many times, it's a much happier experience to just walk your beautiful path at the time and not try to cram it into some box filled with labels. Doing so, could change and ruin lives.  Personally, the fact that you have a SO would be, in my opinion, so negatively hurtful to your SO and your Karma, that it's not worth it nor is it right.  

Also, the point of going to a provider is NOT to ruin your life but to have temporary happiness, release and satisfaction while not losing everything in your life by getting in a complicated civvie situation and ruining everything. You are lucky enough to have also found a friend that you enjoy as a provider.  Just leave it the way it is and enjoy that sweet addition to your life.  

It doesn't sound to me like you've done any thinking beyond wanting the 'feeling good' feeling to continue outside the bedroom. That's pretty much a recipe for ending the relationship very quickly if you push things.

Even if you both enjoy each other's company, you'll find out real quickly that moving things beyond the provider/client relationship brings a lot of challenges and requires much more work than you're going to put in if you simply continue things as they are. Are you ready for work instead of play in the relationship? Is she? Moving things where you seem to want to move them is a point of no return. Are you ready to risk ending the relationship completely in order to see if there's something beyond what you have now? Do you have the emotional and financial resources to manage 2 caring relationships simultaneously? Are you ready to possibly sacrifice BOTH relationships if things don't work out with your provider friend?

Like I said, it doesn't seem to me that you;ve done much thinking about all this.