My last 4 sessions have been dissapointing. Nothing to do with the ladies they were all wonderful. The issue was me not being able to get to the main event? Doctor says nothing is wrong and won't prescribe anything. I love the hobby but why go on?
...but there are MULTIPLE threads regarding this subject on the 60+ Board. If this is applicable to you, you might want to check them out. There are MANY issues regarding lack of desire and/or ED and some of them are age related.
Like any medical opinion, it's always a good idea to get a second set of eyes on the problem, so a second doctor would be a good idea. Maybe a urologist? There's always the chance that if your libido is good (seems to be OK, if you've scheduled 4 sessions), there might another medical issue in play.
And then there is always the mental/psychological aspect of things -- desire and function are directly impacted by many issues that are mental/psychological. I've battled depression for decades and it does have a subtle effect on desire and performance.
There are many possible issues here, some of them interrelated -- get them checked out and figure out what's happening. Then you can make an informed decision about things.
Buena suerte!
How much time do you give yourself in between play time? Usually for me I play every 7 to 10 days. You might be playing too soon between seeing a girl. The older I get the more down time I need between play time.
that we refer to it as "down" time. Lol
Also, you may need longer sessions - a tease, rest, tease, rest sort of event, relaxing nude in between. Key word, relax
Because it's there.
But seriously, you provide absolutely no details in order for anyone to offer an opinion or solution. Age, physical condition, performance in the civvie world, performance before these last 4 sessions, etc...Not being able to get it up can be physical or psychological, or both. With no other information provided by you, it is apparent that your MD (or MDs) thinks it's psychological, as ED meds won't fix what's in your head.
..... cock rings. Works wonders for me. Just one more thing to try.
Or this joke that I've posted before :
A man and his wife go to their doctor.
They both complain that he is suffering from ED. The doctor asks the man to step outside, so he leaves.
He then asks the wife to take her clothes off. She asks why. He says he needs to check something that might help her husband get an erection.
So, she strips off, lays down on the table and the doctor walks around her a couple of times and writes some notes in his charts. He then tells her to get dressed.
The doctor walks out and says to the husband, "It's not you, she doesn't get me hard either!".
What, to you, is the Main Event? Your own shuddering finish? Penetration? Enjoyable stimulation? ... Sometimes, the Main Event is just "being there" and enjoying the company of a beautiful sexy woman.
.
Since micktoz posted a (relevant) joke, so will I. (Stolen from Lamont Cranston on the Humor board.)
.
A women goes to her gynecologist for a check up and the doctor tells her no sex for a week.
So the women goes home and tells her husband the she can not have sex for a week.
The husband asks, "What did the dentist say?"
.
Which Main Event?
My last 4 sessions have been dissapointing. Nothing to do with the ladies they were all wonderful. The issue was me not being able to get to the main event? Doctor says nothing is wrong and won't prescribe anything. I love the hobby but why go on?
Being There:
Coincidentally, I posted on a local board looking for a "patient provider." Jokes aside, this thread hits home.
The condition (difficulty in achieving orgasm) often referred to by medical types is DE (delayed orgasm) or, my favorite, RE (retarded orgasm). I'm in my early 60s and have had it for about 20 years with it getting progressively worse.
I think I've taken every reasonable route to alleviate the problem. I've mostly given up. I've seen several doctors, including 2 urologists. The last urologist has a specialty in sexual dysfunction. None of the doctors found any medical reason for my situation. I'm healthy (still running a few miles every other day), watch what I eat and take no medication. I have no problem with erection, though one of the urologists suggested ED pills. All they did (viagra, cialis, various herbs) was give me a stronger erection with the same result - nothing. In the end, the last urologist recommended a shrink specializing in such things. I drew the line at that not wanting to spend a bajillion dollars for a treatment that was iffy at best.
I have no problem going solo. I also found a masseuse at an AMP who, with a lot of work, is able to accomplish the task with her hands. One friggin' masseuse in NYC! -) So, it kind of leads me to believe that at least part of the problem is psychological.
I want more and am not ready to give up. So I will watch this thread with hopeful anticipation.
I can't get hard enough to have sex. I'm in my 40's and had a marriage from hell. I thought my issue was because how bad things were between me and my ex but it has continued after the divorce.
Go to a doctor and ask to have your T checked. My production was killed off by having chicken pox when I was 32.
If your doctor isn't helping you, get another doctor. I did.
Certain meds, like opioid pain killers will knock your testosterone down to single digits. Keith Richards must not have a penis after hisyears of opioid use. Demand a test for Testosterone from your Dr, better yet, find a Endocrinologist Dr. They treat low T and are up to date (hopefully)
Your family Dr cant do the follow up monitoring that you will need if you do have low T. Many family Drs will try to get you on roll-on gel Testosterone, and call it, good, but those roll on gels are largely ineffective and will keep you from physical contact with any female until you shower that shit off. Many family Drs are reluctant to prescribe Testosterone injections, but that is the most effective treatment. Research on low Testosterone on the web. There are lots of forums and even YouTube videos on how to do the injections, which are in the upper thigh, and either every two weeks, or weekly depending on your blood tests, which are quarterly. However, the good news is you will feel better, have more energy, and have hardons like you have'nt had since you were in highschool .. BONEUS!!
Sexless marriage? Did she beat you up emotionally? That shit can wear on a man's self esteem. It could be the big head cockblocking...
That's true, and the effects can continue well after the relationship ends.
There is some really good info above so don’t just give up. That said I’ll offer my solution.
I’m 71 with type 2. I still have a strong desire and that is the key. I get erect but it doesn’t last long. I’ve tried viagra and cock rings with no luck. FS was too frustrating so I tried massage. A couple of bad experiences then I finally found a beautiful girl. ( her body is great also). We rub cuddle etc. about the second visit I couldn’t orgasm and got upset with my growing old. She said “are you enjoying yourself “
I definitely do enjoy my time with her so much that I see and enjoy her weekly. We both orgasm every time now. We fondle rub privates etc. once she got me to enjoy what I do have I stopped worrying about what I don’t have. What I do have has gotten even better.
Lots of luck to you. As long as you keep the desire there is still a lot of enjoyment to be had
Nice post Dude, good luck. Try Clomid and female condoms, good luck
that you may want to pursue? tried different things, different providers. Sometimes is not a medication issue but a mental block... or something that you may want to explore a little further?
I know first times can be a bit awkward, but maybe if you have a regular provider both of you can explore different kinks?!
C'mon... the possibilities are endless!
And have four wives???
your last four sessions were with the same or different providers but you may want to stick with ones you know while you're working on the issue. Its more relaxing walking in the door and seeing someone you know and trust rather than having added pressure and anxiety with a new girl. Just a thought.
Your case seems more psychological than physical and may be a focusing issue because you may be easily distracted. You may want to make a concerted effort to focus your mind on the women in front of you, her assets, skills and the pleasure your receiving. Stop thinking about not finishing and other things.
I wouldn't give up though. 40's is way too young to throw in the towel. There's guys in there seventies here still pounding away.
NEVER Quit.
Sexual Pleasure
is one of the Greatest Pleasures on this planet.
There are providers that KNOW
How To
bring a
DeadDick back to Life.
So if there is a possibility of it being a psychological issue, maybe a true tantric provider might be able to help re-route some of the "blockage." I find that if I'm concentrating too hard on crossing the finish line, it seems to get farther away. The mind-body connection is a strange and wonderful thing, but sometimes I have to "head fake" myself and not concentrate too hard on the end game.
Supposedly if you are physically able, you will have erections during sleep. One verfication is to put a paper ring around your dick, like a roll of postage stamps. If the paper is torn in the morning you had an erection.
...and it will probably happen more times than not.
Sometimes men have a fear of cumming too fast so they're thinking about baseball and all the crazy shit they do to keep from being a "minute man." But that can also lead to holding off so long that they mess themselves up for having an orgasm.
I also see a lot of men who are in what I would call "masturbation ruts." They have stroked themselves a certain way for so long that it's very hard for a provider to replicate without good communication.
I always ask my gents to describe their fantasies to me. For instance, asking, "Describe your perfect BJ to me" will help me know how to proceed to the "main event."
So I would recommend laying off masturbation (if you do) and allowing sexual tension to build. Also, tell the lady what you need--fast, slow, hard, soft, more this, less that. Unless she's a "paint by numbers" provider, she will be happy to give you what your dick desires!
Good luck!