NOTE: I searched around for an answer on this but didn't find anything satisfactory. I apologize if I'm retreading old and tired ground.

I'm really new to this, only had about 8 total sessions with 3 different providers.

I've had a more or less regular weekly hook-up with one girl in particular for the past 5 or 6 weeks. She's the first provider I called and exactly what I was hoping this was all about, just an incredible experience.  

I'm not sure if I committed to an actual arrangement with her, I may have said the wrong thing or misread the atmosphere. I know I may have gotten too attached, and I'm sure she's aware of it.

I know I've told her several times that I was close to being unable to support weekly hook-ups and was going to have to slow things down soon.

 
I skipped last week with her to give myself some time to clear my head and gain some perspective. Joining TER really helped with that. I heard nothing from her, so assumed we were good.

She texted me today that we needed to talk, so I called her back. She is pretty upset that I wasn't coming over, said she needed the money because she hadn't been working and was waiting to see me before other clients. She told me I had committed to a weekly arrangement.

I know I was getting too close to her, that's why I took the time away and saw a different provider who I also really enjoyed being with. I'm over that, but I still want to see her. I'm afraid she's relying too much on me, counting on my donation to make her expenses, and perhaps looking on me almost as a SugarDaddy, which I am not even close to being able to be.  

I'm making some serious newb mistakes here.

So...do I need to break this off? Is there any way to salvage this so I can keep seeing her without complications?  

If I do need to break it off, is there a way to do that without being an asshole? I do want to live with myself afterwards.

There's no "breaking it off," you're not in a relationship. Ignore all correspondence, done. Had one do this to me, it only took a couple of unanswered texts for it to go away. I mean really, how hard do you think she's going to work to wring a few bucks out of you?

you should be writing soap operas..you could call it " as the jello turns"...

If you treated her this way, we would all be talking about what a psycho you are. Whether she needs the money or not you have your own finances to worry about and were obviously trying to keep giving her money when you could. I know some women struggle but really, there's no excuse for being "upset" with someone who has given you several hundred to thousands of dollars over the course of a month or two. Only you know how upset she was and if you're comfortable going back, but if you want to keep seeing her, you seem to be on the right track. I just wouldn't use her as a reference any time soon, lol

It was very tough for me to realize that in the beginning,b because I had established some good relationships. She's probably projecting her disappointment onto you, as though it is your fault. She made promises to herself that you would be a steady income. When that starts to not happen, it's easy to count the money before it happens, and to build the ego too. It's a bummer when I don't get to see certain people as often, or they suddenly stop booking. But every time they leave, I have to tell myself, "This may be the last time you'll see them - because they may find they like blondes better." Lol

But if you're getting too attached and are becoming an SD, and you don't want to be... it's a recipe for disaster in the long run. You may need a more hands off relationship, where the woman doesn't try to reel you in every time she thinks you should be there. Especially if you start to have feelings for her. Part of the art of this can be a woman being somewhat aloof while apart, so the guy doesn't get the wrong ideas in his head. Or so the guy doesn't fly out of there like a bat outta hell.

The trick is knowing the difference between the customer being responsible for our income, vs us being responsible for our income. The tough thing is, it's a business. But sometimes emotions do get involved on someone's part that fucks the business side all up. In the end, it is on us, the provider, to work in this very competitive field and pay our bills by the business we bring in. And when business stops in one area, finding another person to fill that slot is our job. Not yours.

But as far as you pleasing her continually, or being her main support, just like anything - if you know you can't or shouldn't, enabling her isn't going to make anything better.

The perfect scenario would be for you to have found a lady who appreciates your business, enjoys her time with you, and doesn't pressure you into anything. In that case, you may be more comfortable returning. But once you get into this business, it's hour for hour, a set amount, and that's it. You don't buy into a contract. Neither does she. And both of you can *poof* disappear whenever you want to.

If it's been a long term thing, like months and months or years, an explanation is nice just because people worry, or would like to know what to expect.  

It sounds like you have communicated less dates, and she wasn't having your answer. Which to me is a red flag, and if you're feeling emotionally vulnerable, best to tread carefully. This sounds like way too much pressure for someone just looking for P4P.

-- Modified on 9/26/2015 9:49:47 PM

rotate favorite gals.  Going exclusive eventually leads to problems...  she takes you for granted or service suffers.  
I would message her back & appologize for a "misunderstanding"...   she "thinks" (or maybe hopes) that she could see you weekly.    
Gals sometimes get possesive OR want your entire hobby budget.   SHE does not know what your budget is or other expenses.  Often gals need cash at the first of the month when the rent is due & electric & phone bill needs to get paid.   In the future you might want to skip a mid-month week & come through at the end.  Or a (unspoken) new plan every other week...  or once a month...  but something sustainable.    

I tend to binge on vacations but must mind my budget most of the time.  Over spending can get out of hand& possibly trigger questioning by others or financial disaster.

So she is not your wife or girlfriend.
Then what are you doing?
I think it's time to move on if she is making you feel uncomfortable.
It's no need to continue seeing her with this type of drama.

 -- Modified on 9/26/2015 8:22:24 PM

Her behavior is off the tracks unprofessional.  

I would suggest a hiatus of at least a month and then see if she gets it. If she is still in this mind set after a month, move on.  

You might want to re-think that handle, not that you asked.  

Jell-o is not the kind of image a guy should be putting out there. It almost invites you being taken advantage of.  

If you want a dessert related handle, I would suggest:  Devil's Food.

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Rule#1: No provider will turn down a new client to see an existing one who hasn't made an appointment. They go where the money is.

Rule#2: You never "need to talk" to a provider. If she wants to act like your girlfriend, then she shouldn't be charging you.

Text her that you enjoyed the time you spent together, but you are done with the hobby for now.

Hay jelloman.  I think you posted to newbie about AFF and BP and being in an area with slim pickings.

Others are already warning you about this "friend" of yours and you need to learn another term that's used a lot on TER: BSC = bat shit crazy.

Although we only have your side of the story and notarized, signed copies of your "weekly commitment" papers are not yet available on the internet, what you are describing to me sounds like a provider who is BSC or getting there.

If it was me, I would want to be as nice and kind and gentle as possible but I would cut the ties.  "I'm really too busy to see you." (Hay!  I AM busy, and I can't ALWAYS make time for this.  And sometimes it's plain IMPOSSIBLE for weeks at a time!)

How much of your info does she have?  TER name?  Real name?  (Well, according to Freakonomics, if Lemonjello and Orangello are real names, Jelloman42 could be a real name, too.)  

And burn those weekly commitment papers before she posts them to the internet

No strings attached. You don't owe are anything.  Some say they pay escorts to leave and not have to call. In the future you might consider NOT repeating with any provider until you get a better grip.  

If she's a decent person and she likes you, she'll understand your budget and work with you. If she's not then maybe she's playing you.  

Either way, she needs to understand this is not a job with severance pay. Unless you clearly stated to her "hold open X day and time for me every week" then she shouldn't be turning people away. Things happen in life, so she shouldn't be counting on income.

I spoke to her early this AM...she's not wrong, I sort of committed to a weekly hook up last time we were together. I talk too much. She quoted me pretty accurately and jogged my memory.  

What I meant to say, and should have said, was that ideally a weekly hook up is what I want but can't afford. Apparently I said more than that. I'm a major league asshole.

We're going to meet up this afternoon (her idea) and try to re-connect. We need to set some clear ground rules.

I really do suck at this.

Don't beat yourself up too bad over this.  When you go to set the ground rules, keep in mind that it is YOUR dollar that you are spending for some of HER time.  Personally, I would just apologize for the misunderstanding and mistake, then cut all ties.  She sounds a bit manipulative from what I've read.

that oral contracts are not worth the paper they are written on.

That said, we should all be careful about slips of the lip.

In any case, do follow the advice just given and move on.  I think this particular contract has run its course

Some of you wouldn't know how to look after yourselves if I gave you a print out.

So if you want to keep getting played that is your choice.
It's clear she knows you can be taken advantage of and that is what she is doing.
 

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something to think about and explore. This sounds like you are getting turned on by what's happening. Lots of guys try to get a girl to do this so they can have that experience.

I have been lobbying for some time now.  Firstly, no provider that is about their business is going to rely on any one hobbyist to supplement their entire income.  Maybe if you were a millionaire and the sessions were arranged weekly at $5000 per, then maybe.  But even then I think it is human nature for a provider to say "hey if I'm making 5 gs a week off this one guy, then imagine what I could make doing etc.."  Any who, this sounds like she is a manipulator, be careful.  This is a business, and if a provider likes you, then those weekly visits would not cost you a thing.  But that is another story.  Like a lot of the guys have said, your number 1 priority should be to make sure that you are not putting yourself in the poor house while trying to accommodate her income.

Against your advice I went...

She told me to get there at 3:30, got there a few minutes early. Texted her I was there. No response. Waited 10 minutes, called her, no answer. Waited until after 4, called again, no answer.

Sent the goodbye text and headed home.

Got 2 texts, my phone wasn't working, I'm waiting. At least 12 calls from her phone and 2 others. Texts from other numbers, please call. My phone is now turned off. Gonna need to figure out how to block numbers.

Can someone explain to my why I'm crying like a little girl?

-- Modified on 9/27/2015 4:50:29 PM

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Another term is mangina.  Or, maybe you're just a nice guy and a little too new to this.  But also, so it seems, is she.  

PM to follow.


-- Modified on 9/27/2015 3:24:32 PM

I haven't answered and she's not leaving voicemails. I did manage to block her number, but not the others she was calling from.

2 texts from her number...my phone wasn't working...I'm waiting at the door, where did you go?

Then one rrom a different number...please call (name withheld) she's very upset.

At least 16 calls before I got it blocked.

I give up...I'm not cut out for this shit...

Ignore her and all things related to her. Shake it off. Go see two different TER well reviewed and established escorts ASAP. The overwhelming majority of escorts on TER are decent if not super nice women. This will be a funny story in time because that is all it is.  

It's fine to be a drama LLama on the inside, but don't act like one on the outside so much.

You permitted the little head to speak for you, next time run it by the other head before you let your lips move.

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Meaning , you don't hear from her until you reach out to her. Sure saying hello here and there is fine, it's even nice. But when one starts cracking the whip and getting all clingy it's time to move on.  And it's NOT attractive to have a woman begging you to pay her bills. Many providers might not be rich but we should still be able to pay our bills!  

  If you did actually agree to see her every week, well did you sign an actual binding contract? It doesn't sound like you did. You have someone who has gotten used to seeing you every week and even she should know, nothing lasts forever. You just need to be honest and be up front. If she flies off the handle then, on to the next. This is supposed to be fun for you. Not have you here asking questions on what to do.  

  Good Luck!!!

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