Share you funny/interesting sex story either in the hobby or civvie life...or both

 
1- One time, while we were waiting for shower to warm up, I was doing a provider standing doggy and got lazy so sat on the toilet for RCG. Toilet seat broke and stabbed me in the butt resulting in 8 stitches. Yes I still finished

2- In my younger years I once put a girl thru the wall face first. Let me set the scene. I was living in a house in the hills in Hawaii. It was an old house with a lot of wood rot. Also I was a poor 24yr old fresh out of the army after more deployments than was healthy. So all I had in my room was a mattress on the floor with these silk leopard print sheets that someone had given me. Hideous. Anyhow, brought a girl over, petit little buck-o-5 and was doing her doggy when one of the corners of the sheets came untucked from under the mattress. And silk sheets don't give good traction, so it was like a reverse slingshot right when I thrusted into her and her head went right thru the rotted drywall. No I didn't finish.