Be thankful for the times you hobby & pennaurieus(sp?) when you're not.
-- Modified on 7/22/2003 7:12:38 AM
all i can say is spend withen your means,,,,this hobby is tough on the heart,,,it really is lol....just have fun and dont overspend.......
Sham
If you can't stick to a budget, then you need help fast or you will be in a cardboard box. LOL
You need to see what you like about the hobby, if it is the companionship part because you are lonely and you think providers are going to solve that, you are going to have a problem. Keep hanging out with civilians.
If you are using providers to feed your entire sex drive, you have got a problem. Need to add alternate methods to fulfil your sex drive, use your imagination here.
good luck, I've been there, anyone with an ATF has probably been there at some point or another. I suspect it's best to get it under control early likr you are trying rather than later. Once you meet someone you just have to be with, watch out!
I had to give this advice to a client of mine. Here was his scenario.
He is in his 40's. He has been hobbying since his 20's. After meeting him we hit it off, personality wise and I knew I could discuss anything with him.
He told me he "could have owned 3 houses by now" if he didn't hobby as much as he did. (Since I am great with numbers, I offered him some advise, in which I know he wasn't crazy at first to tell me.) He was into some really heavy credit card debt. What I told him was this. First off, no more escorts..for the time being. Limit yourself on who you want to see, and not every woman who roles through town. Second, get a loan and consolidate those credit cards. (In which he eliminated 3 or 4 credit cards and no more high interest on those cards with a much lower interest rate on the loan.)
(I know this was great advice, because I loved credit cards. Racking them up as soon as I got them. I had to do the same, stop spending and think every purchase through.)
He did listen to me, after watching his spending and not seeing an ladies (including me) he was finally able to see the select woman he really desired. As to me, because I am not a gold digger, I didn't see him the entire time he was working on his finances. I couldn't keep seeing him rob Peter to pay Paul.
It worked and I think now all his bills are paid on time and in full instead of late and partial payments. I don't think (sorry ladies if this bothers you) a woman should come before your mortgage or rent. You need to live. Having a woman is for enjoyment, not bankruptsy.
Good luck..and pace..and take this advice, choos carefully in who you want to see. Research and make sure that the woman you want 6 months ago is the same woman you would see now.
Shaye
Sometimes I'm a bit shocked when I hear how many girls certain of my clients see. If these are affluent guys (which most are), I say more power to them. A few others, however, are not so successful and I do worry about them sometimes, but I don't say anything since it's not my business (unless they asked for my advice).
Once a client mentioned he was on the verge of some financial problems and said he was spending way too much on women. The next week he called and was excited because he had met a new hot provider and thought we could have a fun threesome. At first I said sure, but the next day I called him back and said we should postpone it.
He probably called someone else, but at least I felt better knowing I wasn't part of an expensive session he could little afford.
Most people laugh at the idea of sex addiction, but the financial repercussions alone are very significant.
Hey it is not the hobby that is the problem. It is our love of sex, and that is expensive however you cut it.
You need to try and set some kind of budget that you know you can live with without cutting off finances for any of the important things in life, so to speak. If you find yourself driving to see a lady in a car that your 2 months behind on the payments in your doing something wrong(just an example).
I toss a set amount of money in an envelope every week(hopefully), put it in the nightstand drawer, and when i have enough, i get to play in the sandbox. But if business is bad, which it has been more times then not lately, the money i try to alot myself for indulging most likely won't make it to the envelope. It's in my budget as a weekly expense, but it's last one the list, behind all the real bills. So if something has to give, guess what. No fun for me 
-- Modified on 7/22/2003 6:46:30 AM
Manage your need for sex rationally. It's a need, so it's also a weakness. It gives others power over you. Don't be a slave to it.
Another consideration is that you are not being truly satisfied by providers. The most satisfying sex that I have is with a significant other. Practicing different positions with the same woman can lead to simultaneous and extended orgasms, which I find much more satisfying than fantacies. This requires unprotected sex.
IMHO, anyone who has unprotected sex with a provider is playing Russian Roulette. I can't express my thoughts about this clearly enoungh and still expect it to be posted. There are so many variations of VD out there that hobbyists are putting at risk the rest of their sex life, which is probably more important to them than their natural life.
