For males, it is critical to give up self control of orgasm to enjoy the maximum benefit of a lady's attention.
Ladies are *supposed* to be wired differently and in fact they are to a great degree.
However
A couple of my favs have taken the pledge not to self stimulate on the day of my appt. and have found that they are more responsive, and that this allows me to engage "female-tantra" techniques with them, which results in extremely intense, prolongued orgasm. This experience has caused them to swear off of masturbation the day before and on any day when they have a gentleman caller....
Much to my dismay masterbation is an equal opportunity partner these days. Most will admit to some masterbation but few may admit as loudly as me how obsessive I have become.
I carry a pocket rocket with me at all times and you never know when I may be using it. In the car, in the ladies room or at a restaurant. I love sex but this pre occupation with fingers and vibrators has got me wondering why.
It doesn't take much for juices to flow when i'm lying around naked sunning myself or hanging around the house. I need not have porn or anything real erotic to get me off and it can be achieved in less than a minute or as long as an hour. How wonderful to be able to control orgasm. Could that be why I love to masturbate so much?
Gentlemen..Who else will stand up and say I love to masturbate or do it just because.
For males, it is critical to give up self control of orgasm to enjoy the maximum benefit of a lady's attention.
Ladies are *supposed* to be wired differently and in fact they are to a great degree.
However
A couple of my favs have taken the pledge not to self stimulate on the day of my appt. and have found that they are more responsive, and that this allows me to engage "female-tantra" techniques with them, which results in extremely intense, prolongued orgasm. This experience has caused them to swear off of masturbation the day before and on any day when they have a gentleman caller....
I always wake up wet and turned on but usually never see anyone before noon. I have tried self pleasuring myself and not. I see very little if any difference for me.
I recharge pretty quick and only do one rendezvous a day so there's never a problem of overstimulation.
I have been reading a lot about tantra and am very interested in the makings of prolonged pleasure. I'm also a little on the kinky side at times but yet to have someone take control of me.
For the gent, this means at least the giving up of control his orgasm as ingrained by habitual masturbation. This is far more important at a base level for gents than for ladies due to the differences in biology.
For some gents, this is experienced in tantra methods, for others, release under the discipline of a sensual domme. Or, for some, in the exchange of raw passion and true intimacy that flows in the interaction of dominant male/ submissive female personalities.
Those who abhor such things are only marginally alive sexually. This statement will annoy the hell out of vanillas, but so be it.
For women, the giving up of control of orgasm over a prolonged time is not *necessary* for ograsm per se but pays tremendous benefits in the quality and intensity of orgasm. The programme indicated is similar to that of the men - abstinence from self pleasuring over an extended time.
Learning to live on the tingly edge of arousal and to cherish this portentious feeling takes a great deal of resolve and the willingness to postpone gratification. But the rewards, especially in the 'hands' of the right gent, are enormous. Imagine a single orgasm that combines and in fact exceeds the duration and intensity of dozens of the self pleasured variety.....
This is not "worth it" to every woman. I suppose it is impossible for ladies in the biz. And of course, given my particular inclination, I believe it to be best enjoyed in the context of a relationship to a dominant gent '
While learning to ride and submit to the orgasmic energy is gender neutral in esoteric practice, the biological benefits of abstaining are not there for women. Any particular orgasmic experience can be enhanced by holding and building the charge, or alternately not dropping the energy and allowing the orgasms to continue. In fact for many women our drive is lessened with abstinence- the way to keep that connection strong and powerful is to keep flooding our bodies with the hormones and endorphines of the orgasmic state. (the original fountain of youth)
Of. Purse when you get into "control" games with your ladies you are playing with very powerful psychological enhancers and I believe you when you say the ladies have loved the resulting experience. That said, it is not a specific tantric practice that I am aware of...
is arranged such that, as you state, the benefits of giving up control of / and / or orgasmic abstinence are not as great as they are with men. Hoever, in my experience (ie statistically limited, "anecdotal evidence" lol) women are more responsive when they are not self plesuring multiple times per day....
I will gladly buy the notion that with some women, orgasmic abstinence leads to a decline in response. I imagine that to have a useful convo we'd have to be on the same page about specifics - ie how many days, how much stimulation etc. And of course this will vary from woman to woman even as it does from gent to gent.
In fact, at my age (59) I find that if I go much longer than a week without, my level of arousal or desire may decline. And I may not find and hold the edge as easily. I do not know if this is typical. I am generally not a self pleasurer and have never been - I've arranged to have female companionship to fill that role lol...
How this plays out in the context of a d/s session or relationship is in fact largely conditioned by the psychology unique to the d/s relationship. I'm sure you are aware, the *brain* is the most important sex organ lol '
When a lady who is submissive to me gives me control over her pleasure, I like to combine stimulation (mine or her own as I allow) to but not beyond the threshold or orgasmic response, combined with repetitive withholding, and targeted sensual pain (ie based on the various nerve pathways and responses that are linked to the biology of orgasm). I like to enhance the blood flow to the vaginal area and indirectly stimulate the pudendal nerve.
After a few cycles (sometimes many) of threshold point stimulation and cessation, most ladies in my experience orgasm more intensely and for much longer than is typical to them.
With some ladies, I allow her to reach orgasm via anal sex - the pudendal nerve becomes extremely sensitive and anal orgasm may be more protracted and occasionally more violent. Many women have no idea that anal sex can be powerfully orgasmic. I feel badly for providers who, for the sake of the extra "point" , provide this service but hate doing it and / or numb the anus to avoid a pain response that is unneccessary when properly habituated..... of course this is an acquired taste '
Finally - I don't play this game during compensated time with providers. When I am donating, I expect the session to be about *my* pleasure. I am of course a gent and generous enough to care about the lady's pleasure should she desire it. However, the interaction herein described is primarily reserved for personal and / or OTC relationships. This activity takes a good bit of time and effort.....
though the context is different you may appreciate the link provided below....
I was just in the tanning bed today and so relaxed and hot and turned on. I have taken to shaving my pussy now so it's so smooth and tan. I started to touch myself in the tanning bed but then my own sense of propriety got the best of me. I thought I really must be a sex freak if I can't even get a good tan without wanting to masturbate. I'm glad I'm not alone. Maybe next time....
But I always find that I need a little extra after my sessions are over. No matter how good the session is, I still have not totally lost it. I didn't know I was a squirter until one of my lovely clients bought me a Magic Wand. I use it now after my session is through and the gent is gone. I'm all alone with his scent on my body and on my bed, alone with the memories of his tongue on me and in me, his cock inside of me .... and I just get off so completely that it soaks my bed.
Interesting how much guys like to talk about sex and women but not their own issues, even good ones.
Hell yes I masturbate regularly, as do most guys who have a functioning cock. As a single guy, it is often the only option, and depending on my mood, it might be days in between, or it might be several times a day. Sometimes it is emotion driven. Sometimes it is just the need of a release, or some positive endorphins. Sometimes it is something sexual.
I remember once when I was about 20 and newly married, I was having a conversation with another young married guy about masturbation. Another guy we worked with heard us and said "You guys are married, what the hell do you need to masturbate for?"
Well, if you have to ask, you'll never understand.
While sex with a partner may be good Pinot Noir, it doesn't mean that I don't sometimes like an inexpensive Riesling, or a fruit bomb Zinfandel.
After I see a provider, I will often masturbate 3-4 times in the next 24 hours, reliving the inspiration or just savoring in the fact that so much was built up to that meeting that it wasn't something that a couple of hours of connection could satisfy.
Most of my partners and I have masturbated with the other present every now and then as part of our sexual routine. How many men who have been in a relationship for more than a year don't know that there is no way that your partner is going to want to have sex as often or right when you may want it, and haven't had to masturbate instead? If you don't enjoy it, what's the point?
Masturbation can be a wonderful part of a fully functioning sexual being. Anyone who doesn't admit that or makes fun of it isn't evolved enough to get it.
For me, it's time between appts and cash flow. There is a need between these times. If life was what one would wish, I wouldn't have to at all. But that would be wishful thinking. Happy yanking!
I actually have several - one in Seattle, one in Portland and one in my car. This ensures that I never leave it somewhere when traveling, and that there is always one wherever I go. Very particular about the vibrations which are best for me and the doc johnson g2 model is the only one I'm in love with... Of course I'm quickly bonding with my hitachi, and my sybian will always have a special place in my heart. I don't often just do finger play, though love to masturbate with the water rushing from the spout as I fill a bathtub.
I'm very sensory so don't think about much other than the actual feelings, though I get nice flashes of bodies and smiles and ghost touches and sighs... The exception is if my masturbatory session is a sex magic ritual in which I hold a very strong thought and intention for the energy.
Before I discovered the wonderful world of hobbying, I jerked off three times a day to Playboy Special Editions -- which I still love. But now, I love finding a new provider, and stimulating myself to no end on her website and her reviews, anticipating our encounter together.
And then jerking off reliving the experience.
So I figure the typical visit nets me twenty or so orgasmns -- not a bad return
Personally, I think it's a beautiful thing when women masturbate. However, this is a private moment, women do not want anyone else to know it. Most porn sites though make women masturbation a major category.
All women rub clits, some do fingering themselves, some use any instruments handy, some would keep toys with them all the time, ... many women go to bathroom just to masturbate for a while (guys can hardly get into the mood without visual any aids).
Now, airport TSA's are getting more and more annoying. Many women traveling have to come up with new ways of carrying toys ... few years ago, a female college student traveling with 5 condoms filled with flour was detained and humiliated at an airport.
yes, many do so and are simply too embarrassed or ashamed to admit it, but there is a significant percentage of women imo who honestly do not masturbate and have no desire to do so.
speaking for myself, masturbation lost its appeal for me once i hit puberty...i don't know why, but it just became dull and lethargic. every once in a while i will give it a try, because i may be in a horny mood and want to just wallow in those good feelings for a while....but the end result is always the same: boredom! sleepiness! lol.
also the statement "all women rub clits" is also false. i never touch my clitoris, as any direct touch to that area has always been very painful for me, no matter how light. i do not understand the jillions of gadgets and doodads out there that are made to be used on the clitoris, as to me such a "toy" could only ever be a torture device.
It always makes me a little sad to hear of women who don't masturbate -- either through misguided shame or just not knowing how (or knowing how to try).
I've tried to get into them, but I'm not much for toys, myself. I'm ... good with my hands.
OMG!! I got to be just like Haley after my hysterectomy 3 years ago. I would be anywhere, doing anything: restaurant, car, movies, going to the bathroom, lots of things that were not sexual in the least. Then suddenly I would get wet and horny as heck. I would go nuts, squirming around almost obsessively with the urge to satisfy that need for the big O. I would always have to rectify the situation or really go crazy. It has been 3 years since the hysterectomy and I still get those wild sudden hornyiness, but not as often or as strong. I think most of it was a side effect to my surgery.
It is not a big deal or breaking news that we men have all masturbate. In contrast, I suspect a large percentage of men and women it is news that nearly all women pleasure themselves like us men. A much larger percentage of women than men will not admit to it though because of societal taboos. Hence, HaleyOrlando statement “Much to my dismay masterbation is an equal opportunity partner these days” .Gee when I was 12 years old at YMCA camp we had circle jerks. I wonder how many women can and will claim the same.
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