TER General Board

Self delete. (eom)
TitlessWonderMom 675 reads
posted



-- Modified on 3/3/2008 2:51:44 AM

TitlessWonderMom3877 reads

I read on another board, a thread that was disturbing to me personally.  I believe in everyones right to their own opinion but in this thread people felt the need to call women, "cunts" say they "should be shot" and were just "disgusting."  So with that being said I thought I'd ask everyones opinion here.

How do you feel about a provider continuing to provide while pregnant?  Have you ever seen a pregnant provider?  Would you see a pregnant provider?  If anyone has what was your experience like?

Hopefully this thread doesn't turn into a train wreck like the other one did lol.

if you found the content disturbing, you wouldve been relieved when the thread was removed.

instead you are repeating the content and inviting discussion upon it.

disturbing indeedy

TitlessWonderMom1070 reads

As for it being disturbing and me "repeating the content," I figured I'd ask it in a more open minded forum where most people aren't so judgmental.  It's a simple question so either answer the question or leave it alone.  It's simple IMO.

yes i understand

whenever a topic disturbs me, i always like to take that topic to other groups of people to discuss it with me

but i do it under an alias so i dont get more disturbed.



AlSwearingen319 reads

WHAT THE FUCK - SLOW DAY? DID YOU SUDDENLY FIND YOURSELF NOT THE CENTER OF ATTENTION HERE? IF YOU ASK A QUESTION AND YOU DON'T LIKE THE ANSWER (IN FACT, YOU KNOW YOU WON'T LIKE MOST OF THE ANSWERS), EITHER SHUT THE FUCK UP OR - MUCH BETTER - DON'T ASK THE QUESTION!!!


JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A RUBBER CRUTCH - WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE REST OF YOU? FEEDING THE TROLLS IS JUST PLAIN STUPID.

once a person can pass their own judgement.

other people's judgement  wont seem so important ... i hope.

sex doesnt harm a fetus.
neither does money.
being spiritually or emotionally conflicted might.

some people might argue that the job has a high risk of physical danger.
unlike the safer jobs such as police woman, mental health care provider, public transportation driver, construction worker, any job not in a freaking bubble.

i like myself.. not always, but overall.
whether or not others like me, isnt going to change that.

Mostly your assessment of the physiological situation of pregnancy is correct.  What is more damaging is the mental attitude - both to this profession - and to pregnancy.... For the most part - I believe that so much of the worlds ills are provided to us by people who are not happy - not with the world - but with who they are... and they need others to "put in their place,"  "act superior towards," or "put down."

That said, I always wonder what is behind some of the posts on TER....  The originator of this thread certainly does make me wonder about his motivations.

1.  No BS or joke, that was deep and thought provoking, thank you.

and

2.  I got the idea that the thread initiator is a woman, not a man.

Good luck





-- Modified on 3/3/2008 7:54:23 AM

tokai988 reads

IMHO, I think the only thing that might be "disturbing" is the risk of STD's to the baby, and possible violence of an unknown client. Other than that, I don't see what is wrong with a pregnant provider.

I suppose pregnancy emphasizes the fact you are committing adultery. But you should have gotten past that a long time ago.

I've never been with an escort that I knew was pregnant, but I have received dances from a pregnant lady at a gentleman's club. I tipped her extra because I knew she would have to stop dancing soon.

Just because a provider is pregnant doesn't mean she is married. So I don't know how it can mean she is automatically committing adultery.

As for seeing a provider while pregnant, I haven't done that. I don't think I would only because I have never been with a pregnant woman and I would feel awkward as to how to proceed.

b-

There is a kind of passive I'd guess, opinion in society about pregnant woman. The whole wholesome fruit of the earth thing. So a provider who is still working pregnant has a lot of bull to conntend with. I wouldn't want to BE pregnant again provider or not at this stage in the game, but I wouldn't do it if I was anyway. I see the fear of STDs and harm that could come to the baby. All that set aside, there are some men who find Pregnant woman a huge turn on. My husband always did. So each to their own I'd say.
It's a toss up.

rockofboston942 reads

yes, there are the fears of harming the baby, a little one who has no control over his/her situation... but horny pregnant sex is awesome.

add on top of it all the other weird, exciting controversy already mentioned above, and you've got a pretty hot cocktail, imo.

i think if i didn't know and arrived at your door to find you visibly pregnant, i'd be a little off-put. if you're not visible, but you told me while we rested, that'd get me going. if you advertised with pictures, i think we'd have a sealed deal.

but, again, oomv.

rock

I wouldn't want to be a pregnant provider.

I'd stop providing until after the baby was born.

I've been pregnant and I was violently ill  during my pregnancy.

Trying to provide while expecting would be an absolute nightmare for me.

One more reason I won't be having anymore children.

There is something about a pregnant woman - and making love to her.... During my marriage, the ex-Ms Superdude was especially sexy during pregnancies...  There was a softer note to her body, and a somewhat gentler approach to sex that was unique to her pregnancies... I can't say that applies to all women - as she is the only pregnant woman I've been with (that I know of...)

Someone once asked me what I thought my greatest accomplishment is... I replied... Being a dad... and that includes going through pregnancy with a woman you love...

I've never knowingly seen a pregnant provider and I probably wouldn't. As far as weather it's OK or not, I don't personally have an issue with something that is a woman's decision to begin with.
I make a habit of not judging anyone by what they do to put food on the table and a roof over their heads as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. Sure there are some gray areas here but I don't like to apply generalities so, unless the woman was engaging in other behavior that was unhealthy for her or the fetus I wouldn't have an issue.

I think it's OK as long as she takes extra precautions to ensure no STD's are transmitted to the baby. This might mean CBJ and no DATY or other activities that could infect the vaginal area. The baby's health is the first priority. Also, it would be best if she saw only regular clients that she knows and trusts. She shouldn't take risks of violence with new hobbyists.

Another question is whether the baby's father approves of this activity assuming he's still in the picture.

towards anyone who isn't intentionally trying to hurt someone else needs to look in the mirror.  You will see someone who is unfairly judged by a majority of people in our world.  Now ask yourself if you want to continue doing the same?

Glass houses, throwing stones, it's all the same.  Nobody should try to imposes their own norms on somebody else as long as nobody is intentionally getting hurt.

That's my opinion, which was requested.  Now here's the kicker: I'm not judging anyone here who is being judgmental - you're entitled to your opinion as much as anyone else, I just disagree with you.

If the pregnant provider is safe and doing it of her own free will, and the hobbyist who is seeing her knows and still sees her, then have at it and enjoy.  I've seen a pregnant provider, and it didn't enhance or detract in any way (although the boobs were firmer, but I'm a leg and ass guy), and I would see one again.

To take it a little further, I don't think a hobbyist has a right to know if she's pregnant or not, it's part of her privacy.

Good luck



Whether or not you have sex with a pregnant woman (be she escort or wife or SO) to me is a very separate issue with calling women degogatory names...

Last night I called a woman a "broad"....  in the sense of the word as a woman with some age... who obviously had been around... but was still attractive... (think Mae West).  I was seriously taken to task - unfairly as I did not use the word in a derogatory manner... but rather as a description of the woman...  

Was this some sort of bizzare gay site?  that hates women?  seriously this is spookey.....

Now my question - why post this here?

I could put a dent in the babies head if I hit it to hard.j/k lol

Since when is the baby's head only three inches in?  


LOL   :-D

TitlessWonderMom168 reads

I am a woman and a mother.  I read the original thread on a board that we can say is ummmmm not TER lol.  No, really it's a drama infested forum from what I can see and it is a provider/hobbyist board which made it worse I think.  

The original post was started by a provider who made the statement that she thinks providers who continue to provide are disgusting and gross.  Others chimed in with rude comments like I stated in the beginning of this thread.  It was a bit baffling to read and at this particular place they can't use alias to bash people.  I was so surprised at the anger people expressed there so I decided to post here where I believe guys and women a like are more level headed and less judgmental to see what the outcome would be.

Let me also say, I was pregnant and provided.  I took many percausions so to speak while I was, but it was also some of the best sex I ever had in my life.  Pregnant women are really horny lol.  My SO was aware of my actions and at every Doctor appt I was getting stds checks, both blood work for HIV and Herpes, as well as paps for everything else to ensure that everything would be fine for the baby.  I gave birth to a very healthy child and had no complications.  

So I am not trying to cause problems or drama by starting the thread here, I was curious as to what others here thought because I feel that this board is not only more level headed but more of a community.  Thank you everyone for the responses.

and therefore a woman (your alias).  I've been with many providers who were moms and in fact like a lot as they tend to understand a lot of things that "come outta my mouth"  so I am not prejudiced there....  

HOWEVER, that said - one of the truely spookiest events I've ever had was with a "mom" who was not pregnant (but lactating)... and she and I hooked up (she was a stripper who offered to provide for me).  Yes, she was incredibly hot.  but on our last romp, she drugged me... and the sad thing was - she got little more than I would have given her anyway....   one could say, she ended the relationship...  but that is NOT the norm - either for providers or for strippers...  

Would I have sex with a pregnant woman... as I said above - I did - the ex ms-superdude.... would I have sex with a pregnant provider?  I am not sure that I have not.... but one never really knows....  so for all the guys who say, no way - never... ever... I would offer to you that in the 1st trimester... you might not know.  and on some women even in the 2nd trimester - you may be hard pressed to say....

my advice... always take precautions... even if there is no pregnancy... it is just a good idea..



-- Modified on 3/3/2008 1:29:38 PM

Big Beef568 reads

Let's face it, some hobbyists are physically rough/abusive, some are crazy/psychotic, some have STDs, some are I.V. drug addicts, some HATE women,.... If you want to put YOURSELF at risk as a provider--FINE--- but don't put an innocent unborn in danger's way because you can't find a legit job, or afford to quit the biz for a while. It is sick, and WRONG!  BTW, I'm NO prude.


Do you consider that? Maybe seeing established clients only? It's going to be hard to switch to a legit job with time constraints. Especially during the early, most critical development phase.

BTW, I guess if she doesn't have the money and can't find a good paying job at WalMart, the best suggestion for her would be abortion. No risk to the fetus there.

For your part, you might take into account that at least she is choosing to carry it to term.

what about all the drunk drivers

how dare she take a risk like that.


what about reading posts like yours ?
she could feel shameful and horrible and get depressed and kill herself..

what can she do ?
where can she go ?

bubble please hurry get the bubble

Lets Fact it, Maddy has never seen a physically abusive hobbiest, she has never been roughed up or met any crazy psychotic men who used I.V. Drugs. She always uses condoms and has yet to see any visual signs of an STD.

The men who have met with madeline have been top notch upscale and highly educated gentleman. They seem to really love women and thier bodies. That's why they hobby Sir,because they love women not because they hate us.

On the other hand, my alter ego, the one who has a "legit" job has met and dated for "free" several men with serious issues like Hating women.

It is also a fact that most guys in the Free dating world do NOT tell the truth about STD exposure or their sexual exploits. In addition, 1 out of 3 people who get an std get it from their "partner" who never told them they had it.

Not from an upscale sex worker or hobbiest.

As a matter of fact, Sir, I do know of a few  married men who cheat on their wives, with women they met in a bar, pregnant or not exposing them to STD's all under the guise of trust.

I also know men who verbally and physically abuse their girlfriends, wives, and children for FREE most of these people have Legit jobs.

As for pregnant women.  I have never been pregnant so I cannot comment on what I would or have done, but I have however noticed that some ladies become even more lovely and desireable when with child. The chances of the fetus getting an STD while a lady is using a condom is almost nill and an even more remote possibility is a hobbiest abusing her.

Lets think now about the baby-daddy. What do your reckon he is like? A real peach I am sure, this would explain why she would be "workin this non legit" job to begin with.

Hey Big Beefy guy, I'll bet you go to church on Sundays don't cha? What would you have this lady do if she cannot afford to quit the "biz" for a while.

You sound like a real nice guy. Maybe you could start a non profit org for pregnant providers.

Hey Lets do the numbers, shall we?

STDs Estimated Number of Pregnant Women
Bacterial vaginosis   1,080,000
Herpes simplex virus 2      880,000
Chlamydia      100,000
Trichomoniasis      124,000
Gonorrhea        13,200
Hepatitis B        16,000
HIV          6,400
Syphilis       1 ,000

You know how these women got infected? They did NOT use a condom. Probably got it from the babies father.
HUMMM

I have been an escort since summer 2003, indy since November 2003.  I have never experienced violence or abuse (other than the occasional spanking...but I like that ;) )

I refuse to see people who are drunk or high.  If I ever show up and the client is already inebriated I just make up an excuse to get myself out of there ASAP.  

Yes, some hobbyists are physically rough/abusive, some are crazy/psychotic, some have STDs, some are I.V. drug addicts, some HATE women, but that is why screening and strict practice of safer sex is so important.

All jobs carry some risk.  Most women get into sex work, at least initially, because of a lack of choices.

Sex in and of itself will not harm a foetus.  If you do not believe me ask your doctor.  

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

-- Modified on 3/3/2008 10:24:09 PM

I have been in this biz for 3yrs and have never had a problem with abuse...I am a black belt so I doubt that would happen anyway.
I see mostly reg gents so there is very little risk for me. I would not be pregnant at this stage in the game, but I see very little risk for me. I am careful, see referenced Gents and we all have a great time and go home very very happy.

Without passing judgement one way or another, I will only say that if a woman continues engaging in sex, even protected sex, with a variety of partners while pregnant, she is placing her unborn baby at higher risk for miscarriage and other complications.

In the first few weeks of pregnancy, a mucus plug forms over the cervix to serve as a barrier to prevent infection to the fetus. This plug however, can be displaced due to rough sex, and if that happens, the baby is then vulnerable to infection which may be harmless to the mother, but fatal to the developing fetus.

So no, I do not think it is a good idea for a woman to continue providing while pregnant, but on the other hand, I can't help but feel sympathy for her financial situation which is probably the main reason she chooses to continue providing.

If one is to decide to be a parent, he/she should protect their children at all costs, whether born or unborn.  

I wouldn't work with a child in the room, why would i work with a child inside my belly?  

If caught providing while pregnant, I risk being incarcerated during term and could have a strong case against me to have it taken away when born along with any other chilren in my home.

There are enough programs to take care of pregnant women and their families.  I just don't understand the justification to consider any financial needs in one's life more important than protecting my unborm child from disease or harm.  

I hope I'm not wrong in thinking that if I was destitute and pregnant, I could get help for my family til I gave birth.


Maybe you could try these:

1) Perhaps see only established clients you already trust;

2) French only specials. As the pregnancy gets later, you might try French and Russian specials with lactation, some guys really love that.

I didn't realize that she was until later.  I suspected it while we were together, and then she made the formal announcement a week or so later.

If I'd have known she was pregnant when the appointment was made, would I have gone through with it?  I don't know for certain, but probably.  It must not have been a horrible experience, because I've seen her since, and as far as I know, the baby was fine.

lilli543 reads

no judgement here, i can understand the reasons why a woman may feel the need or desire to continue providing while pregnant. i think it could work out just fine if she took a few extra precautions and only saw established regulars during that period.

i can certainly see the erotic/kink appeal in sexually serving men while pregnant by another...but i have a dirty, perverse sort of mind. ;)

oddposes248 reads

She can do whatever she wants.  Personally, I wouldn't knowingly see a pregnant provider.  It's just not a turn on for me.  Do I know why and care to think about it? No.

If I were pregnant, my main concern would be living an healthy lifestyle.  I do alright now, but it would definitely push me.  No smoking, no drinking, clean healthy foods and exercise.  I saw a pregnant woman at the gym the other day and I thought it was great.

In the end it's their life, and they shouldn't care what others think.  Although, I admit, that's one of life's greatest lessons, and I still struggle with it. ;)

shaka700335 reads

Whoever the father of the child is should be working hard and taking responsibilty.

He should be supportive enough where the provider should not work while their pregnant.

Risk of working while being pregnant, well harming the fetus.



 

-- Modified on 3/3/2008 10:38:43 AM

TitlessWonderMom513 reads

Well when I was pregnant and providing, I didn't HAVE to, I chose to.  The father worked and worked hard so I didn't have to and I also am pretty good with saving money.  But once again I chose too for several reasons.  A) I was so horny there way no way one person was satisfying me.  I was jumping the SO 2-4 times a day and had vibrators all over the house, still wasn't enough lol.  B) I love what I do.  And C) I practice safe sex and was seeing regular clientel for the most part in which case lowering my risk to contract anything.  I also didn't encourage daty after a certain part in the pregnancy.  And D) my doctor said sex is fine when you are pregnant and some of the best you'll ever have, boy was he right!!

but she was afraid... so I went out - and did what any red blooded 'merican man would do.... I rented videos of pregnant pornstars having sex.... and showed em to the Mrs... she watched and learned... and got horny... taking the Bizzaro one out of defending the city from bad dudes....  or something like that.

Big Beef399 reads

Hooking while pregnant is reckless behavior for the unborn for the reasons I stated above.

Anything that anyone does anywhere at anytime could potentially hurt someone. So what? Big deal, Mr. Big Beef. It doesn't involve you personally, why would you give a rat's behind. If a lady wants to have sex while pregnant it is her decision and not yours.

b-

there is quite a bit of difference between risk from crossing the street vs risk from providing. Furthermore, the former type of risk-taking may be necessary just to function with everyday life. As Titless said, she didn't have to provide for any need of money, but just to satisfy her sexual urges. I think that's a bit different from crossing the street to go to her doctor for pre-natal care.

As for
"It doesn't involve you personally, why would you give a rat's behind"
that's just a generally horrible attitude. Very few things in life involve me personally. Should I not care about starvation in North Korea, genocide in Africa,  illiteracy in Mississippi, or Michael Vick torturing dogs, because it doesn't involve me personally?

AWomanLikeNoOther612 reads

Where exactly do you draw that arbitrary line? At what point does a risk become unacceptable? Is it "okay" if a woman picks up guys elsewhere and sleeps with them while pregnant? Is it "okay" if she only sees regulars? Is it "okay" if gents know she's pregnant and thus that they could have extra charges filed against them in the case of violence? Is it "okay" if she's got an STD already and will be having a c-section?

Truck drivers hold one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. Shall we say female truck drivers must quit their jobs if they become pregnant? Gas stations are often robbed. Shall we say female gas station workers must quit their jobs if they become pregnant?

We can't trust a woman to make her own decisions while pregnant- yet we're going to trust her to be able to raise a child?

It's one thing to be concerned. It's quite another to be judgmental.

And Zisk, for the record all those things you listed, no I don't expect anyone not involved to care. It is one thing to see or hear about something like that and think "how sad". But to me, caring means doing something. Are you sending food to North Korea? Teaching literacy in Mississippi? Trying to get on the jury to convict Vick?

When someone says they care about some plight they hear about in the world but then forget it a minute later as they go about their life, then it is an "empty" care. Big difference between thinking something is sad for a minute and actually caring. I care about things that effect me personally, such as electing a president or congress, or local business staying in business. Those are things I can impact and have an impact on me. As for Michael Vick using dogs in a fight ring? It is reprehensible and wrong, but I don't care.

b-

but didn't you just state that you provided during pregnancy because you were horny?

I'm having a hard time seeing how being horny leads to providing with multiple partners for money with all its risks just becuase you're horny.  

I don't know you, am not judgeing you.  But, it all seems so odd.

AWomanLikeNoOther205 reads

Because I've never provided while pregnant...

Nonetheless I'd still like to know where that arbitrary line is drawn.

Well when I was pregnant and providing, I didn't HAVE to, I chose to.  The father worked and worked hard so I didn't have to and I also am pretty good with saving money.  But once again I chose too for several reasons.  A) I was so horny there way no way one person was satisfying me.  I was jumping the SO 2-4 times a day and had vibrators all over the house, still wasn't enough lol.  B) I love what I do.  And C) I practice safe sex and was seeing regular clientel for the most part in which case lowering my risk to contract anything.  I also didn't encourage daty after a certain part in the pregnancy.  And D) my doctor said sex is fine when you are pregnant and some of the best you'll ever have, boy was he right!!

It just seemed odd to me.  Not criticizing, just so off the wall.

lilli581 reads

it's common knowledge that many women have dramatically increased sex drives during pregnancy, and it's easy to imagine one's mate/spouse not being able to keep up. also, as difficult as it may be for some here to fathom, not every provider is in this for the $$$$. some of us get a lot of enjoyment and erotic thrill out of what we do, and if one is being cautious and mindful, why should a normal pregnancy bring an end to this?

TitlessWonderMom353 reads

Because I actually enjoy my job and seeing the guys that I have established relationships with in the 4+yrs I've been doing this?  Is it odd because we are having sex every day for money and a pregnant woman shouldn't?  Is it odd because society has already dubbed our line of work so morally wrong?  Is it wrong because I took many percausions to make sure my baby wasn't harmed?  What is so off the wall?  

I think its funny how everyone has so much to say but lets put it in another perspective.  How many gentlemen saw providers while their SO was pregnant?  You ran the risk of bringing something home and endangering your unborn child also, so what makes it so different for a provider to engage in sexual activities?  I am sure when your SO was pregnant and you were hobbying you didn't let her know of your activities either thus increasing the risk for your child.  At least mine knew.  

I'm not saying you or anyone has to agree with me on this subject but I love how this business can be so one sided.  It's ok for us to have SO's and provide and run a risk.  It's ok for some of us to practice unprotected methods such as bbbj's running the risk of spreading syphilis or herpes to everyone we kiss, but it's not ok for a provider to continue working while pregnant?  Go figure, lol.

We run a risk at everything we do, from going to the grocery store to leaving our house at night.  I was very careful when I was pregnant and my doctor was well aware of what I was doing.  Like I said above, I was regularly checked for everything that way I would know that my baby is safe.  And he was born a very healthy boy.  

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I don't think anyone here has the right to criticize or look down upon a provider or hobbyist.  Do you not realize everything we do endangers someone or ourselves on a daily basis?

You make a very good point.  I'd never consider myself one to judge.  

I hadn't heard of women being this horny during pregnancy.  For a minute, I thought you were some guy getting off on his own lil fantasy.

Good luck and please feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to :)


. . . it's harmful when she 1) hurts or damages it through her escapades, and 2) Then brings it to term sick or with terrible illness afterward.

Since we see the fetus differently, we're going to have different answers. Though I will say, the idea is somewhat disturbing anyway. I guess the disturbing thing is putting pleasure before responsibility.

A few things I'd like to ask: what if it had been sex with her husband-- rough sex? Isn't there a possibility that he's seeing providers?



Yes I have seen a pregnant provider. Pregnant or not she was still hot and I came to do one thing and one thing only,have a great fucking time and some good sex. I've had sex w/pregnant women b4 and I liked it then as I still do now,but I'm not obsessed w/them. However if I were a provider I myself would not put myself out there like that when I know I wouldnt be pregnant forever,lol. Just saying! Evrybodies intitled to there own opinion.

Several of us could have been with a pregnant provider... it is very difficult to tell in the first trimester... so lets not go overboard shall we???

...so long as she doesn't tell me about how wonderful children are, I'm OK with it. Nothing on earth is more boring than a person, man or woman, talking about their children.

I guess my primary concern would be that the little enutero tyke might get a glimpse of "Little Lex" coming in and suffer from ophiophobia for the rest of his or her life...

"Mommy I had that dream again! A giant white snake was trying to get into my room! Whaaaa!"

Throughout my childhood I had a persistent nightmare of downing in Martinis and my loathing of gin and olives continues to this day.

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