HOW DID THIS GUY GET PAST SCREENING?

first time hobbiest... sounds reasonable on phone, has a job, and gives a phone # - remember - even serial killers look normal - most of the time... also - they REALLY look normal for the 1st one... and without an indepth psychological profile - how ya gonna know.  

Right now, my daughter is a very attractive kid.  believe me... I pay very close attention to everyone - and  I mean everyone she comes into contact with... only those I trust (which is me, and maybe my ex. period) would I allow to be alone with her.  And right now, there is an adult male who IMHO has an uncommon interest in her... and it drives me nuts... I finally had to share my suspicions with my Ex yesterday - and after I spelled out the "clues" that I have observed over a 2-year period - her conclusion was the same as mine... no unattended alone time with the dude.... but that is based on two years of weekly observations.

As a hiring manager - I can tell you that all sorts get by screening - even for legit jobs.  Criminal background, credit check - good starts... but will they guarantee your safety? No, the just increase your chances of normalicy.

Biz,

The question is rhetorical for the girls eh? I agree with you 150% on all counts.

I was hoping to get people to think a little more deeply about screening.

Not sure if you remember a girl named Charis who was murdered by a client.

Anyone who thinks I'm being overly dramatic, think about it.

And as for mauiman.....have some damned dignity. Can you not see what is happening here? I, for one am not going to spell it out for you, but you need to cool your jets on Ky for the time being.

Good question. There is alot of the more Upper scale agencies there screening process is verifying your job and that's it. They dont require references. Even though it doesn't appear to be the case with this guy. Most wack jobs appear to be normal in the beginning. The other problem is that alot of providers don't read this board or other boards. They don't know about this guy yet.

not only am I ok with it... but I advocate it strongly.  I think that it makes the hobby better for BOTH the guy as well as the gal.  

I know that in every instance I have been the victim of a bait and switch - or a no show, or  upselling - there was no screening - of any sort... none.  so I do feel better if a gal engages me and says - who have you seen or where do you work or something.

Actually most providers I have met know of the folks I have seen... so I am cool with what they ask...

He is not deceitful, bad intentioned, vicious or a savage, just dumb.

In the way most girls run their business, they are safe with honest, good intentioned, sweet and dumb.

Personally, I prefer someone with a bit more sense about him but I know plenty of girls would be happy and safe to see him - just don't give him your parent's information or phone number.

xo Lisa



-- Modified on 1/25/2007 9:08:47 AM

According to his first post either on National or San Francisco, this was his first visit.

This smacks of serial stalker!

I disagree whole-heartedly and will remind you of a girl named Charis (Chicago I think) who was murdered by a client.

This man is in denial and exhibits all the characteristics of a dangerous person.

My 2 cents!!! and PERIOD!!!

personally, I really do not know how to screen for this type of encounter.  All I know is I like the ladies I see and I know that most of them have lives outside of this hobby.  Serious lives.  For me to intrude would be the same as if I went over to my dental hygenists house... and made myself comfortable - so while I think that my dental hygenist is cute - attractive and with all that I seek, that would kind of be inappropriate since she has not shown interest in me.  

In this hobby, that line between the personal and professional life is difficult to judge and for anyone not able to make the distinction I would say - don't hobby.  You make it difficult for the provider and yourself... bad deal.

If you really want a private life as a provider, don't go blabbing about it to hobbyists! You shouldn't tell them ANYTHING about your personal situation. NOTHING!!!!! I don't know the girl, but when I looked her up on the website, her face was ALL OVER the page. No blurring, no nothing. And because she's so beautiful, I bet she gets noticed. I'd be freaked to show my face on the Net like that. What if people know what she's doing? Okay, nothing wrong with it, but hey, it's still an illegal job!

And on top of it, she talks about her private life to a client to the extent that she reveals her Dad's name? How else would the client find her Dad's number? Why go into it? Why? Unless you really WANT to be with a client, but that's different. As long as you're charging a client, he shouldn't know anything about you, period. You can still have a good time and a pleasant relationship, but you don't owe the truth to anyone.

Unless you really fall for a client, don't share any intimacies. And if you do fall for him, stop charging him and make him  your boyfriend. But to sit there and blab about your private life is nuts. The client isn't your therapist, he's a guy who pays you to fuck you for a certain amount of time. And don't kid yourself, you wouldn't give it up for free to anyone unless you were really into him. So either she was crazy about him, or had really bad judgment. I think putting big color photos of your face on the Net is already bad enough. One of my provider friends did that and she was recognized by everyone in her neighborhood and now she's frozen out by all the soccer moms in the area. Plus, the husbands all make eyes at her. Dumb move. So don't expose yourselves unless you're willing to take hits from unbalanced guys like this one!

Thanks--I still don't know how to do it. Now I know what all the fuss is about. That is 1 screwed up review.
Pay close attention to what? What are you talking about?

Some idiot (smoothdeepsub) bares his soul, and personal details about the only provider he has seen.  The details next to his name show that he has only one review.  If you have VIP status, you can click on his number of reviews, and see just who he has seen.

So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together, the subject of his one review, Ky, was the subject of his inappropriate attention.

Of course the fact that I can only 1 "Ky" in the TER db makes her easy to find.

The soccer moms recognized her?!  from WHAT?! HOW?  help me here.

Re:Whenver i take one all i see is boobs eom

Aha! Eet ees az I suspected. Come here dahlink. I seenk you need an hour or two of deeep, INTENSE therapy, to explore zeese feelinks you haff for the female 'damme de liebe'. Perhaps you should experiment on mine

Simple. Some guy showed one of the husbands of the soccer moms this hot chick on the Net. Wow. It just happened to be my friend the provider. Next thing, the guy (according to my friend) tells his wife. Who knows if he showed her the photo, whatever. She proceeds to tell all the other soccer moms. Most now stay away from my friend, except the one who explained to my friend why all of a sudden no one wanted to talk to her anymore. They are freaked that this has been going on in their suburban community and that she lied to them. Supposedly, they are now worried about their kids and hers too. It's turned into a real nightmare, actually. Just shows you how dicey it is to put your recognizable face on the Internet if you're trying to be UTR.
Anyway, my point was that you can't have it both ways. Don't share any of your private life with hobbyists. Trust your own personal friends and don't tell anyone ANYTHING. Or get a shrink if you have to unburden yourself.

Your website is awesome,i think you would have an wunnerful time in the valley if you ever visted!

I am not able to judge whether or not he is a serious threat or not.

It is not uncommon for a client to fall for a provider in the first encounter.

I do agree that he has boundary and judgement issues but to what extent is not something that I can provide an answer.

For the sake of the safety of the provider in question, I do hope you are wrong.

Lastly, I hope someone contacts her to make sure she is privy to his postings and to possiblly contact authorites to prevent further damage.

xo Lisa

One of life's uncertainties are the parts of others you do not know.

often, when I meet someone - male or female - and I get to know them and listen to their story, I am left to wonder, so what have you NOT chosen to tell me.  That is, what do you not want me to know.  

Go to a strip club, you have no way of knowing who is there... either on the stage, behind the bar, or in the audience.  What is the story? why are they there.  Sit in the lobby of a hotel... is the guy sitting there talking on his cell phone really chatting with a biz acquaintance or? perhaps the agency waiting for the room #.  

You never know.  When I started going through the divorce process, I learned tons about my neighbors that I never suspected... I suspect that your friend may be able to turn this around... but it will take time.

When I was a kid, I remember that the girl (she was all of 13! that I had a crush on, was forbidden to me by my Mom.  Fortunately my Dad explained that to me.  Turns out that "sally's" (not her real name)Mom, who was divorced, was an escort!  lol!  It was to some extent common knowledge.  Since Dad took my on my "dates" (too young to drive) he did not care.  "Sally" and I went our separate ways, my family moved... and all was forgotten UNTIL I went to college... Sally had grown to be a young lady.  Sweet and kind and studying to be a nurse.  She was well raised by a lady - who taught her daughter to be a lady.  What I learned from this was, what you do, is not who you are.  The ladies that I have met in this hobby - for the most part - are pretty ordinary, they are Moms, strippers, students, psychologists, nurses, entrepreneurs, real estate agents... and a lot of other things in between.  But that does not define them as people any more than being President defined John Kennedy, or for that matter, the present CIC.  Yes, it is a part of them, but not the sum of a life.  Many providers have shared some of their personal life with me.  Why?  I think that they know that I do not take their trust lightly.  Some I have probably shared more than would be prudent, but my trust has not been betrayed... sad, but in civie life?  no way.

Would I suggest putting your face on the internet?  Personally I don't know - it is a line that if you cross it, you cannot go back.  And the reason, goes back to "Sally's" Mom... that this lady who was doing the best that she could for her kids, would be ostracized by some for her attempt to provide for her children is a reality.  

I would be willing to bet (and I would probably be on safe ground here, according to the stats) that at least 30% of the women who no longer speak to your friend will be divorced within 5 years and will seek to get alimony and child support.... lol!  Why will they get divorced? Because they will become miserable nags, constantly drawing attention to the shortcomings of their hubbys... And the hubby?  Some will hobby and some won't.  And why do they hate her?  it is not worry about the kids, it is the worry about the threat to their ability to control their husband.  

And they call that marriage, and what your friend does "hooking"!  Sorry, but our society - while a pretty good approximation of "OK" in some areas is a bit messed up with definitions.

I have no doubt that your friend is a great mom, and valuable member of her community.

Thanks.

We as providers need to keep our personal info to ourselves.....we need to take some responsibility too, for our safety, even outside of screening and gut feelings.

You know, I finally got around to reading that review, and, hmmmmm, where did I hear this story before?

I remember when Ky ("Kai") danced at CH2 when not escorting. Very attractive, and articulate enough. Absolutely tragic she's improved to mediocre in the room.  Almost in the same league as LA's Kaliana lookswise.

I always kind of wondered why she needed a manager (I'm also familiar with the manager, who could usually be found drinking with the GM of CH2 in the back, but I digress).

The gentle reader might find the link illuminating.