about your relationship. I honestly can say I understand. My first husband was the same as you described your "SO". Women, at least to my knowledge, do not have the same opportunities as men when seeking fullfillment of needs ie. providers; therefore, I ended up having numerous affairs; became very unhappy, severely depressed and began thinking suicidal thoughts. You know, "you made your bed, you sleep in it?" With two younger children very dependent on me, I (some say selfishly) opted for divorce instead (I'm Catholic to boot!). We are both on our second marriage, 13 years, and very happy. We BOTH work very hard on this relationship. Thank-you for your kind words--they are very encouraging. My best to you. I know what you are going through.
So, some people read the boards, and even post on them yet don't participate in the hobby as emeraldvodka pointed out.
How many people out there do so? And why? Just interested in the reasons and interest that people have..
(no, this is not a point-the-finger-and-ask-what-the-hell-you're-doing-here-buddy post)
Some people don't participate in FS, only see FBSM's and that's good, we can figure out why someone might choose that over FS..but what types of people participate in the boards but not the hobby?
Some might be:
1) Interested but unable to participate (illness,new,finances) 2) Interested but not wishing to participate (enjoying the fantasy maybe?) 3) cops (don't get stuck on that one, please)
But, what else? You've got the 'mike' to say what it is for you..
I've been a lurker here for years before I actually got into the hobby, for all the reasons tattoo girl gave. Money, well, that's money, no need to explain. The fantasy element is a big one, its the timid person's way of working into it. I loved the idea of the hobby, but was too scared to take that "first leap" because of the possible downsides. And, of course, the horny guy getting off on pictures it true, too. What can I say, the girls are hot, the pictures are good, and the reviews sometimes read like Penthouse letters.
#4. Horny sexual people who get off at our pictures ?????
Heh , regarding those pictures , I think nobody ever get off with them . There are millions of more hot pics on net but they dont advertise phone # . Only thing that I feel watching provider pics is ...: 1. Is it pic real or fake ? 2.I am more worth than she is , she should pay me (looks) 3. Even my greatest love in my life is not worth $$$$$$ per hour .
I live in the LA area, where price inflation in the last few years seems to have outpaced some of the other cities.
As a middle-aged, divorced guy, I'd enjoyed the company of providers all through the 90's, usually on a weekly basis. But the dramatic price increases since the "miracle" of the Internet and (-------, you can fill in the blank, as I don't wish to be moderated) has eliminated that pattern as an option for many people, including me.
Now seeing your favorite provider is a special event, and probably one for which you have to save and juggle expenses in order to manage. As a result, for me and many others, the very nature of the hobby has changed. Gone are the warm relationships I once shared with the women I saw on a weekly basis and got to know as friends. They've been replaced by the special one-time visit to someone, I probably can't afford to see a second time. Or because of the higher prices/special event nature of the situation, I'll choose to see someone else instead.
As a result, I've basically just dropped out because of the hobby, but I still hang around TER, perhaps just to keep a connection to happier times. But I really do miss the days (not that long ago, either) when I had the chance to build a rapport with a few women I saw on a weekly basis, precisely because I could see them that often.
I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I personally don't like what the "hobby" has become. There are obivous advantages to the convenience of the internet, but it's taken away a lot too. The high-priced, "mini-celebrity" provider that only wants to work a very reduced schedule and charge higher prices to offset that, simply is no substitute for the great women I used to count as my friends, and whose company I looked forward to enjoying on a weekly basis.
I have to agree with innocent bystander! i use to make monthly visits to the area that my favorite lady lived. Due to higher rates being charged and the downturn in the economy i am now relegated to once every 3 months to particpate in the hobby. I always booked dinner dates and now i am only able to do hourly dates. But i still enjoy the hobby and will make adjustments and choose very carefully my dates.
Well, I think there are a LOT of us ladies who still do give that warm atmosphere, and I do often tout the advantages of regulars for the very reasons you list. (Advantages for both).
Now, what was 'affordable' back then? What were the rates?
I think mine are one of the lowest here, and then on top of that give discounts for repeat, and for regulars, so it gets even lower (referring to a one-hour slot ONLY).
I know what you mean about inflation. When I started the going price was $100. Those days are long gone, but I also make more now so, oh well. If the cost is too high for you in LA, Mexico ain't too far from you. Have you ever consdered checking that out?
I live in NC, so I checked out a bunch of reviews in LA and there were some that were higher than normal, but a bunch that offered all the goodies, ranging from $160 to $300. Normal by our standards in NC. What did they used to be??
I have been around the hobby in the LA area for 20+ years and although I still participate on a vastly reduced basis you have hit the nail on the head Innocent Bystander. Ssex is also correct that in general it seems like the overall quality has went down and the price has went up.
I have stated my reasons before so I won't post a really long message. I came to this board looking to meet a provider since that was one of my fantasies. For me its not a problem of money, illness, or incapacity. I couldn't stop wondering whether the provider I am going to see is doing this to support a child, support an ill family member, support family due to lack of employment, being forced by some lowlife creature(Pimp) to do this, support a drug habbit, or any number of other circumstances. Maybe it was for the money. Regardless, I just couldn't get the thought out of my head that the provider could be in one of those dire circumstances. Not knowing I just would have felt that I contributed to someones misery. Not a moral judgement, but I couldn't get the thought out of my head that what if my family's financial condition wasn't what it is and my mom or someone I love had to do this to support me. The thought was enough to make me stop. None of you have to believe me if you do not want. I am recovering from surgery and this board is definately entertaining while Im in bed. Once I get back to normal in a few weeks I will end everyones misery and not post on this board any longer. Or maybe just posting very rarely as time permits. Until then Im just having fun here
are doing this because they HAVE to due to really desperate situations (to include drugs, pressure from somebody such as pimps, huge medical bills, sick family member, etc.)
I really don't think those numbers outnumber those who do this because they WANT to and LOVE it, however.
I think those providers who want to be providers AND love what they do are few and far between. I believe the vast majority are doing it for financial reasons only. It's hard to say how many of those are in "desperate situations," but I would say there are far more than you might think. Those that are in such situations aren't likely to spend their time on TER boards, discussing a profession they don't care for; or accessing the internet may be prohibitively costly if you are in such financial trouble. So even a TER poll may not reveal the truth on that.
I've met ONE provider who clearly enjoyed being a provider. I've met many more who are doing this to put themselves through school, help family back home, etc. Just take a look at all the girls coming in from other countries - I'd wager the vast majority are not coming to the US to fulfill their want and love of being a provider. They may enjoy certain aspects of the business, but if not for the money, do you think they'd get involved?
Anyway, I do read your posts a lot since I read the SD board somewhat regularly, and I'm very happy that you are doing something that you truly enjoy, it clearly shows. Count yourself among the lucky few who can say that; I believe there's great value in being able to do something you love and support yourself financially with that as a job. Most Americans can't say that, and I dare say that's true of providers as well.
Well said EV... I too am torn over the issue of exploitation and think about it often. It would break my heart if I spent some time with someone and found out they dreaded what they were doing and were just in a jam. There are plenty of providers who say "I need the money, but you know what, it's actually fun most of the time," but those aren't the ones we're talking about. It's the ones who don't want to be involved in it and feel they have no other choice that give many of us pause.
Several gals I know have said that you can't worry about that... That if a gal has a child and is desperate for grocery money, you're not improving her situation or her kid's by not seeing her, you're actually making it worse. That's an interesting perspective... It helps, but still, for many of us this issue is a dilemma.
Omega, Personally for me the issue is deeply unsettling. As corny as it sounds I wanted to live out that "Pretty Woman" fantasy of meeting a complete stranger for an entire week and be completely free to do whatever the heart desires. I just couldn't suppress the feelings of guilt, knowing that this person is meeting me as a function of her job. The problem was trying to figure out why this is her job. I just can't imagine a girl dreaming of becoming a provider when she grows up or a woman just waking up one day and saying lets see what would really lift my spirits?? Let me go become a provider. I just don't believe any woman would enter this line of work as a matter of choice. Whether it was previous abuse, drugs, finances, or whatever the case may be, it simply would make me feel very guilty knowing I kicked whily someone was down on their luck. Thats just the way I look at it. There is something missing or lacking in the personal life that leads a woman to enter this field. Im not saying Im right, but thats what makes sense to me. Besides, I would never want to see my mother enter this field for any reason at all, so why should I partake with someone elses mother, daughter, wife, etc.....
For fifteen years (up until April 2002), I worked two, (or for a period, 3 jobs), around the clock.
My fulltime job was the usual Corporate office stuff, with the horrible commute, and bosses that you despised so much, you couldn't believe how toxic your mind and body could become.
YES, I HAVE ALWAYS FANTASIZED ABOUT BEING A COURTESAN. Always thought that would be something I would love doing, and be good at it. I pretty much was 'like' a Courtesan anyway in my 'relationships' - by that I mean, I didn't want 'real' relationships (didn't have time) as I didn't ever want to marry again, and I wanted to spend a few hours with an engaging man, and then have him GO HOME.
Moving to almost 2 years ago: When my sort of SO and I were having dinner one night, and the wine had gone to our heads, and we were talking about 'if we were on our deathbeds right now' what would be the one thing we hadn't done and regret it. I said I'd always wanted to be a Courtesan. And he said Really? Well, then, let's do it. And I did.
There are plenty of women just like me that did so for pretty much just that - they WANTED to. (This is one reason WHY I want to write to the media - even our OWN community members have misunderstandings).
Many of us are sick and tired of the long commutes, the hard work, the low pay (and then get taxed to death, so even lower), the horrible work environments, the insecurity of the job situation (welcome to SD) and trying to make ends meet when life is more than being enslaved. The 'circles' of ladies that I'm in contact with are women who are very talented, brillant, and many with entrepreuneurial ambitions. Many of us have other jobs, or are in school, or have other businesses - or want to be able to be home with kids in a world where few parents are home (much) at all.
Don't feel guilty. Many of us are right where we want to be and love it.
Sedona, I don't know you personally so when you say you always fantasized about being a courtesan I take you at your word. No reason for me to think otherwise. Personally I can't relate to the headaches of the work environment since I haven't actually ever had to work for pay in my entire life. I can't imagine how tough it is for most people, and wouldn't go around claiming I do. If I were to give you a million dollars, or any of the ladies who are your friends, I don't for one minute believe you or the other ladies would continue to be providers. All would take the money, start very profitable businesses or make investments that would secure financial stability for a long time to come. For me, just knowing that creates a deep sense of guilt. Sure I haven't worked in my life and IMHO there isn't one provider on this board who would not quit being a provider in a heartbeat if I gave her a million dollars(hypothetically speaking of course. Honestly, ask you friends if they would stick around for one minute if they hit a million dollar lottery. So an unstable financial condition does play a role. And I am also sure there are a lot of women whose circumstances force them into this field. You are lucky enough to not be one of them but I simply can't believe for one minute that is the case with all women in this field. Just my thinking, hope I didn't offend you with anything I said. I did not mean any of it to sound judgemental or insulting.
Actually, my (other) business partner and I (who knows I'm an escort) were talking about when business really takes off and we have a nice income, I won't do escorting anymore, will I?
And I paused, and all the faces of my favorites, and the fun times we've had, came to mind. And I said, 'welllll..I would still want to see some of them..sometimes..'
It's not the money. Frankly, it doesn't even cover the overhead, so for me, it's DEFINITELY not the money (yet in other ways it is, of course) as in PRIMARILY.
I love their company, and what we share. I love what it 'does' for me as a woman - it allows me a creative and sensual outlet that makes me feel wonderfully alive and vibrant. It does so much more but I don't want to get all mushy..
(not having to work a day in your life? Now that's an interesting story..I can receive PM's..)
You're projecting your guilt upon others, like myself, who refuse to feel guilty about our occupations. There's something missing or lacking in EVERYONE'S personal life. Haven't you figured that out yet? Everything we do in life is to fill some kind of void. We work to fill the void of money. We eat to fill the void of food. Something is OBVIOUSLY lacking in your personal life if you're posting on the message board devoted to hookers when you have no interest in seeing them. (I still don't know why you don't run off to Craigslist or Google message boards. Those people would surely enjoy your ridiculous bullshit.)
You know what's lacking in my personal life? A 9-5 corporate job that pays $30K for having a master's degree. A boss telling me I *have* to do something when I good and well know I don't *have* to do anything. A husband nagging me to stay home with the kids. A wealthy, supremely educated, smart guy who understands and appreciates me being a free spirit. Dinner tonight. Gay people having the right to get married. A strong president who doesn't have his head up his ass. A companion for my mom. Those are things I'm lacking.
Just because YOU feel guilty doesn't mean I'm going to. Your guilt is just that - YOUR guilt. You own it. Either get over it or quit bitching.
I just found the hobby and TER about 4 months ago> I was happily married untill 7 months ago and didn't realize the sport was as large and active as it is. After some research I decided to try and see a few ladies that fit my criteria. I'm rather particular in whom I choose to spend time with. I live in a small market but within a reasonable travel time of larger areas offering more choices.I have been unable to see the providers that I want to see because 1 She retired, Lauren and Bryjea 2 No referrals 3 Ladies who will not do outcall "I will not do incall" 4 No referrals 5 No referrals...Morgan Ashley 6 No referrals...Mandy-Candy Did I mentionm no referrals Thanks for letting me rant Down but not out
for me, ive been in between g/fs for far too long , so that makes me newbie , so im learning the ins and outs of this "hobby" wich makes ter invaluable. Saving up some money , not a real big issue but will not be partaking of this hobby on a real frequent basis. Getting over the nerve thingie , not a real biggie either. also being a newbie it cuts down on available ladies due to screening and providers wanting references, wich i have absolutlly NO problem with !!! so in the meantime , ive been enjoying the various topics and discussions that pop up, you all seem like a great bunch of ppl. ....................................................that being said , when i get my act together .look out boston area providers...:>)
The scene has/is changing from the genuine GFE that the majority of providers in the past contributed to the client. Now its more like the actress trying too hard to make the relationship real that the fake is transparent. Its not the client for most part that's the real attention, its the money, etc. Price is often above the quality of service offered or the pleasure given and willing to be received. The tarnish of real fun and entertainment must be removed to enhance the reality of the fantasy of fun and GFE/BFE.
I participate 2-3 times per year. It's mostly financial, since there are other areas that need my money, too, such as investments. So I regard hobbying as a treat. Thus, while I miss out on building a relationship with a favorite provider, I do try to take more care doing my research so that my visit is a fun one. (For both of us.)
Well, since the rest of my life is completely backwards...
I'm in my mid 20s, run a successful small business (7 figure sales) and still live at home with the folks, despite owning two houses I rent out.
Have never been able to find the right person who I really clicked with. Still a virgin.
I always said if I felt the need to just #$*@ someone for the sake of it, I'd rather pay a girl $$ then sit there and lie to someone I didn't care about for the sake of getting them into bed.
I basically am trying to figure out what I'm looking for. The answer you expected??
To learn about men and enhance my marriage. I wish to learn as much as possible in order to prevent my husband the need to see a provider. Sorry Ladies! I also would like to learn and try to understand why some men who are happily (?) married still seek providers. I want to learn all that I can so that I can be the best for my husband, so that he has no need to look elsewhere. I do understand that no one person can meet all of another's needs, but I still want and need to try. My husband has some fantasies that I alone would be unable to meet, and I am willing to compromise, to a degree. Hence, I originally found the boards in searching HOW I would go about fullfilling his favorite fantasy. As long as I am part of the fantasy, I am willing. (Ladies, there may be hope yet!). I do wish to say thank-you to TER for making this possible for me and many others. Whether it is to learn, vent, or discuss, this site has been great. Thank-you.
Wow, if my SO had your attitude I wouldn't be here. I love her dearly, but I've been pushed far down her "to do" list when it comes to romance and sex. Sex is always with the lights off, always respectful, but happens nowhere near as frequently as I need (I'm a three times a week guy who finds myself in a once a month marriage). I love her with all my heart, but the sexual explorer in me needs more, so I do this 4 or 5 times a year to help me find balance. Many will judge me harshly, but I could never hurt her or the kids by leaving, so I found this to be my best solution. Also, I'm about a 5 or 6 at best in the looks department, but I get to have the illusion of being a 9 or 10 for a little while. I also married early at 23 so I never got to meet that many women (I had broken up with a grand total of two women (one dumped me and I dumped the other when she went all helter skelter on me and tried to run over my sister who didn't like her... slight warning sign there) and it was painful as I was wracked with guilt both times (I'm a Cancer and we're cursed with a tremendous of empathy, so much so that we often can't make tough decisions sometimes.....).
But I digress.... Take care of that guy and keep doing what you're doing. Simply TRYING to learn and address his needs is more than the other 90% are doing most of the time.
about your relationship. I honestly can say I understand. My first husband was the same as you described your "SO". Women, at least to my knowledge, do not have the same opportunities as men when seeking fullfillment of needs ie. providers; therefore, I ended up having numerous affairs; became very unhappy, severely depressed and began thinking suicidal thoughts. You know, "you made your bed, you sleep in it?" With two younger children very dependent on me, I (some say selfishly) opted for divorce instead (I'm Catholic to boot!). We are both on our second marriage, 13 years, and very happy. We BOTH work very hard on this relationship. Thank-you for your kind words--they are very encouraging. My best to you. I know what you are going through.
I have always been fascinated by this hobby, but have only partaken of it a few times in my life (I'm 56). Trying to live on a little less than a $1300/month pension doesn't help matters that's for sure. I spend a lot of time on line (around 180-200 hours a month), some of it reading this board and the World Sex Guide.
TER seems to be the board for those with champagne budgets, and WSG is for beer budgets. I can't post there because my username and password went bad, and the moderator won't assist anyone having problems with the system. The girls, establishments, methods of meeting, etc., are a lot different over there.
My most recent experience was with a gal who answered my ad on a paid dating site. She was a part-timer who only dated on the side to help pay her bills. I saw her for a BBBJ a few times. It was almost a GFE, since the one time we went out to dinner first, and she invited me to dinner at her place once. All in all, not bad. This was early 2003, about a year ago.
I'm really afraid to try the street action that is described on WSG. Too much risk of LE, or getting mugged or getting ripped off. You wouldn't believe some of the things the guys who post there do. On the other hand, it also describes "establishments" in a couple of the Southern states that are inexpensive. I may get the nerve together to try one of them some day.
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