Write Review
1,980,265 Total Reviews 3,664 New Reviews
10,985 Users Online

TER General Board

role play: when GFE becomes GFI
Claudius42310 13 Reviews 1328 reads
posted

due to 1st time nerves and medical problems i often have difficulty getting totally happy in session. it is dismaying to drill away for a couple of hours and come up with a dry well. an adaptation tht i discovered that made things considerably more reliable was to take the GFE/courtesan experience of romance and human warmth and push it close to the edge of GFI (girl friend illusion).

only did this with a few willing to try and i crafted the scripts to preserve some semblance of boundary preservation.

for instance one session that is still the best sex i've ever had started out with my walking in saying "baby you know i love you but i don't want you barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen." on other occasions during lulls in the action fantasies about future LTRs would have built in independence themes... having separate but closely located residences for instance or open marriage fantasies and the like. during the action lots of emotionally charged words would be used to finally liberate mr happy to let loose.

the risks were high and two of the ladies i've played these games with are no longer available. one apparently thouhgt i was low hanging fruit and tried to take me for a ride (didn't work, i'm surprisingly tough for a sweet guy). another freaked out in some way and can no longer deal with me at all.

now i am perfectly competent to keep my portfolio safe from predation, don't need any advice on that score. where i would like counsel is how to keep pressure off a non predatory lady so that she doesn't freak. is there a way of playing GFI that provides more/better safeguards than i outlined?

this may be academic since i had a fantastic first session Monday (review submitted and pending approval) which needed zero role play to make me an extremely happy camper. so i am reconsidering whether i will continue to need to play the game so close to the edge. but just in case..... it might be good to have an idea how to refine my role play so that there is less risk/stress for the lady.



Balboa7149 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
Claudius42310118 reads

and am qualified to teach some of those techniques, not as part of my day job mind you...

ReplyQuoteReport
EveAlexander207 reads

Perhaps your "little tex" can tell the difference between the lady who gives you a real part of herself, and one is a really good actress.

Please don't misunderstand, I don't knock those ladies who choose or need to compartmentalize so completely that her endeavors in this lifestyle are completely unconnected (or nearly so) from her most genuine "self." People rarely flash a pure, unguarded smile to a stranger on the bus, let alone commit an act as scary as opening oneself to scores of (virtual) strangers while in bed. From my personal experience, intermixing this lifestyle and the real genuine self creates a certain amount of unstable mental and emotional ground on the part of the lady which does create some renegotiation with the self to comfortably achieve resolution.

Seek out those ladies who lead you to believe they are capable and comfortable (and ideally enjoy) this tightrope walk. All the better if you can find a lady who is self reflexive and can tell you herself what limits she is comfortable going to before it gets too muddy. Of course, too much prior negotiation might just ruin the fun of exploration...

Ultimately, you could always just toss this out the window, continue to choose those girls who appeal to you for whatever other manner of reason, and just appreciate that you can drill for "a couple of hours" that first time, even if it doesn't lead to a big O. ;-)

Related Link: http://www.forbidden-fruits.net

ReplyQuoteReport
MarkusKetterman183 reads

In my experience (ie anecdotal evidence coming) many if not most providers play the "multiple personality" game - ie you are never going to get a glimpse of their soul, who they are when they are not providing. I understand this compartmentalization as necessary for many. I respect it. But it does place limits on the quality of the interaction.

On a very few occasions I have met ladies who are so integrated with providing that there really is no distinction between provider and every day person. True gems. Ladies with whom a real connection can be made, as long as the client is keeping it real and not playing the GFI game. There is nothing better in the hobby than to count such a woman as a friend.

Cheers

GTM

ReplyQuoteReport
Claudius4231087 reads

and i would never have started the GFI thing unless it seemed "almost necessary". my most recent experience suggests it isn't necessary at all. [my review for that is finally up.]

so i am temporarily suspending GFI as part of my repertoire and planning to repeat with as many of those willing to try without having GFI as part of the mix.

it should be an interesting and revealing experiment not to mention fun.

who knows, i may have found, finally a path to becoming a more "normal" less difficult client? ;-) that would be a good thing. while i will take risks there is no need to take more than necessary risks to make everyone happy in a transaction.

ReplyQuoteReport
Radcow59 reads

Have sex, a decent conversation time permitting, and go home to your wife, GF, SO, or partner. Too much is made of these so-called relationships. Despite, what many ladies will claim, it's a transaction. She does her GFE with hundreds of men per year, how could you ever think she's have time to be yours? Sorry, it's really an illusion, all of it. This is about money and trading in-kind services.  Guys who need a sick, twisted, and narcissistic way to think they are somehow more special than the next will need extra cash to PAY for that privilege.

ReplyQuoteReport
Radcow87 reads

Have sex, a decent conversation time permitting, and go home to your wife, GF, SO, or partner. Too much is made of these so-called relationships. Despite, what many ladies will claim, it's a transaction. She does her GFE with hundreds of men per year, how could you ever think she's have time to be yours? Sorry, it's really an illusion, all of it. This is about money and trading in-kind services.  Guys who need a sick, twisted, and narcissistic way to think they are somehow more special than the next will need extra cash to PAY for that privilege.

ReplyQuoteReport
tonylakers100 reads

and somewhat of an extension of my "All About the Benjamins II" discussion I posed a few weeks ago.  The GFE is better when there is  truth to it.  The providers who are true to themselves are the ones who provide the best of themselves.  I had a provider tell me that the money eliminates the pretension of the encounter and let's each person be themselves.  Well put, but might not be practiced.  And, believe me, you can tell the difference.  Those are repeaters, in my book.

ReplyQuoteReport
redhot96 reads

From the first encounter, I am sharing intimate time with those I see...but for genuine intimacy to develop, that really takes *time*.  

Multiple visits.  

Time to get to know each other truly as people.

I connect easily with others, but there is still a process to deeper intimacy being *genuine*.  Sometimes people try and force it when we are in situations that juxtapose our ideas about closeness and intimacy.  A number of clients I've seen seem to want the *illusion* more then what is authentic, as authentic intimacy can lead some down confusing and dangerous emotional paths.  I will admit, it is not something that most people seem to be able to truly do easily...be intimate, be genuine, while still maintaining proper boundaries.  It's not just about finding others that are able to connect that way, but it is moreso about knowing yourself I think.

Much love to all,  

xoMegan

ReplyQuoteReport
MarkusKetterman84 reads

of themselves. The illusion suits these folks just fine. And of course having geniune intimacy in the context of truly NSA sex is a bit of a non-sequitur. With true intimacy comes a degree of responsibility.....   the art, as I've seen it done by a very few special ladies, is to be *real*, to let some regular clients under the boundaries to a degree, even to be friends. But to be clear that real romance is not in the picture. And, with the more shallow clients, to offer the illusion if desired..... a very stressful situation regardless of how it's played. I for one could not handle the ego - dystonia....

Cheers

GTM

ReplyQuoteReport
Claudius4231080 reads

that is not me. although i can give a mistaken resemblance of that.

i am a bit of a gushy romantic in illusion or in reality. but however over the top i go i never ever expect instant return in kind. my feelings and expressions are strictly mine and i never expect them to have a particular effect or return.

the ladies with which i have played the GFI game have all shown something real. i have always tried to structure GFI sessions so that there were built in NSA safeguards. i love independent women. if i thought i could _capture_ one i wouldn't want to. it would destroy the cherished reality behind the illusion. no illusion however _temporarily useful_ could be worth that.

maybe i should give up explaining myself. it is perhaps just a little too complex. especially since it seems that i may now be finding a path to becoming a more normal and less demanding client.

ReplyQuoteReport
MarkusKetterman113 reads

I was speaking to a very common phenomenon among the folks who at one and the same time primarly rate ladies on the GFE++++ and *apprearance* scales lol. Something very shallow going on there......

You seem to me to be a hobbyist with self knowledge and willing to take responsibility. Nothing wrong in that.

My own character flaw is probably expressed in how much I like 18/19yo agency girls. I take responsibility for my 'bent' and do not delude myself in terms of what I am looking for, and in fact in many ways reliving. Eyes wide open, heart guarded, I let the experience of them wash over me and fill me. No expectations and no promises.....

There are very few ladies whom I will let under my defenses. Been there, done that, got the scars. But the seven years I've spent in cohabitation with such ladies is something I would not have missed.....

ReplyQuoteReport
Claudius4231079 reads

but thought i'd make it clear. after all posts are a way that clients market themselves.

that is one thing that the shallow folks don't seem to understand because their notion of a "market" is limited to the grocery. their concept for the board is limited to treating providers as fixed price commodities.

but even in a commodity market (CBOT for example) buyers and sellers exchange risks and values that are more than just the underlying soy beans, etc.

but i ramble again.... my attention is not focussed as i am contemplating my next adventure before the warmth of the last has even faded slightly...

ReplyQuoteReport
Claudius4231072 reads

and having shared some very high quality time with you i appreciate what you say. i confess that i found the way that you present yourself on your website to be an interesting way of packaging various possible flavors of GFI. but you were always very clear about being in reposnsible control of boundary issues.

i look forward breathlessly to our next encounter with or without the illusion.... i am becoming easier that way ;-)

-- Modified on 5/15/2009 8:53:47 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
Claudius42310147 reads

is little tex intelligent in the way you describe? the evidence suggests yes. when one or all of the performance personas is dropped at least a bit and i get to see the lady's authentic personality little tex gets a lot easier to please.

if the chemistry is good in some intangible way the couple of hours with no gusher can be a very very happy time for me. but i hate to see a look of disappointment on the lady's face.

BTW [switching to shameless flirtation mode] if we would meet for the first time i'd like to not try GFI with you. [flirt mode off]

ReplyQuoteReport
tommyboy_69105 reads

The answer is really simple...stay away from providers who have issues. How can you tell? It's a crap shoot but usually the ones who have their act together want nothing to do with us off the clock. They have jobs, families, and other interests and know that this is a business, not a dating game.

If a girl can't tell between your role play, and reality sounds like a problem. Most know what it is.

ReplyQuoteReport
Claudius42310115 reads

the real trouble sets in when one party wants to go beyond GFE or GFI and take it to the pathological GFD (Girl Friend Delusion) where someone is exploiting the relationship of course there is the possibility noted my several of things going toward GF/BF. but i don't think i have to worry about that happening! LOL!

i do think that your OTC time means automatic trouble is too simple. i like to keep things as simple as real but making a hard and fast rule is always too simple to be real. people are real. rules are just made up simplifications of realiyt.

i still have significant OTC interaction with a retired provider friend, _not_ i hasten as a FWB. it is a mutually beneficial realationship that doesn't involve sex. i have had significant OTC time with another and there was no real problem. of course in a third case it became quickly clear that there was only trouble and sorrow so that was that.

so while i think i have found a way past using the GFI (as a temporary play tool) to reduce wear and tear on the girl, i am still more concerned about the person than a stereotype.

in this i wholeheartedly agree with GTM. likely in some of the cases where i employed it the GFI was an unnecessary and unrealistic complication. i think it would be interesting to ditch it from my repertoire and see how it goes.

ReplyQuoteReport
Post Reply Back To Forum
Register Now!