A little background about myself - 32, divorced for 3 years after a 3 year marriage. I like my independence, so I've been relying on tinder/OKCupid/ and of course, the hobby to satisfy my needs and keep everything unattached. I stay in the $300-$500 range. Most of my experience with escorts are cordial and positive - they're polite, friendly, fun, and usually let me know when they're in town again. I usually see them only 1-2x and don't become a regular
There was one, however, I started getting attached to. I've seen her about a dozen times over the course of a year. We really enjoyed each other's companies - we could talk for hours about everything; our broken homes we grew up in, life, everything. She became a low volume and under the radar a few months into doing this work and one time didn't even want my money. When I saw her I'd pay for the hour but usually stay the night or at least a few hours. After a while she hinted that there were times up in my area where she was super bored, and wanted something to do during the weekends, but usually flaked out the last minute. While she was out of town, we would occasionally text each other stupid funny things. Sometimes I would get pure radio silence from her.
I work as a sales executive for a living, and reading people is one of my strengths. The vast majority of the escorts I've seen are friendly and professional and that's it. This one? I'm not so sure. She certainly liked having me around during our appointments, but was there anything more? There are some things which are difficult to fake - the way her pupils would dilate when we held each other, and many random intimate moments that seemed to have a sense of passion behind it, more than just a friendly business transaction. She'd talk about what our kids would look like, and we'd have a large number of sappy, vomit inducing lovey dovey moments. After 6 months of seeing her I started letting her know I was getting attached.
As stupid as it sounds, if she had taken up my offers to do something outside of her work and we enjoyed our time together, I would have eventually asked her to go exclusive and leave the business behind. I would have taken care of her. It would be a non-business date, because I needed to know I wasn't just an ATM to her. I know she wanted financial security and I had the means to provide her a decent middle class lifestyle (judging by her client volume and the posessions she owned, the pictures of her apartment she showed me, she was not "raking it in" but rather just getting by. It was a long shot and would require serious lifestyle changes for the two of us - and these sort of arrangements have a history of very rarely working out - but I probably would have done it anyway if she were also willing to make necessary changes. She made me feel a way my ex wife and all of my ex girlfriends rarely could.
Two months ago I found out she retired, and that she's now engaged to someone in her agency's management and has been with him on and off for a while. No word, nothing from her directly. My heart sank upon hearing this. To me, the feeling wasn't much different than the more difficult breakups I've had in the past. I find myself thinking about her time to time, wondering what she's up to and jealous that I'm not around and with someone else.
**So the major question I have is:
What was her deal?
Was I just a another "preferred client" to her?
Did she actually catch feelings from time to time with me but learned to compartmentalize them as many do within this profession? Was she thinking about someone else while with me?
Did she catch feelings but suppress them because she didn't want to risk losing her income stream to support her children?
Is she one of those girls whose minds can change day to day on who they're interested in?
Or was I just played by the greatest actress I've ever met?
The whole ordeal has left a wound in my psyche. I was genuinely sad about all of this. It will be a while before I return to the hobby - if ever, that's for sure.
A nice "I've fallen" thread.
You were played...to some extent. As how she felt at other times...only she knows. But since she is engaged I guess you weren't all that important.
Could it work with a gal from P4P...it could. But I wouldn't be looking for this here. Deception and illusion are key components for the gals...it allows many of them to be here (and stay here).
As for your psyche...go and set up another session with a gal and move along. If you're looking for "love"...best you not "return to the hobby". Try and find them where their income isn't dependent on you paying them for sex.
There was one, however, I started getting attached to. I've seen her about a dozen times over the course of a year. We really enjoyed each other's companies - we could talk for hours about everything; our broken homes we grew up in, life, everything. She became a low volume and under the radar a few months into doing this work and one time didn't even want my money. When I saw her I'd pay for the hour but usually stay the night or at least a few hours. After a while she hinted that there were times up in my area where she was super bored, and wanted something to do during the weekends, but usually flaked out the last minute. While she was out of town, we would occasionally text each other stupid funny things. Sometimes I would get pure radio silence from her.
I work as a sales executive for a living, and reading people is one of my strengths. The vast majority of the escorts I've seen are friendly and professional and that's it. This one? I'm not so sure. She certainly liked having me around during our appointments, but was there anything more? There are some things which are difficult to fake - the way her pupils would dilate when we held each other, and many random intimate moments that seemed to have a sense of passion behind it, more than just a friendly business transaction. She'd talk about what our kids would look like, and we'd have a large number of sappy, vomit inducing lovey dovey moments. After 6 months of seeing her I started letting her know I was getting attached.
As stupid as it sounds, if she had taken up my offers to do something outside of her work and we enjoyed our time together, I would have eventually asked her to go exclusive and leave the business behind. I would have taken care of her. It would be a non-business date, because I needed to know I wasn't just an ATM to her. I know she wanted financial security and I had the means to provide her a decent middle class lifestyle (judging by her client volume and the posessions she owned, the pictures of her apartment she showed me, she was not "raking it in" but rather just getting by. It was a long shot and would require serious lifestyle changes for the two of us - and these sort of arrangements have a history of very rarely working out - but I probably would have done it anyway if she were also willing to make necessary changes. She made me feel a way my ex wife and all of my ex girlfriends rarely could.
Two months ago I found out she retired, and that she's now engaged to someone in her agency's management and has been with him on and off for a while. No word, nothing from her directly. My heart sank upon hearing this. To me, the feeling wasn't much different than the more difficult breakups I've had in the past. I find myself thinking about her time to time, wondering what she's up to and jealous that I'm not around and with someone else.
**So the major question I have is:
What was her deal?
Was I just a another "preferred client" to her?
Did she actually catch feelings from time to time with me but learned to compartmentalize them as many do within this profession? Was she thinking about someone else while with me?
Did she catch feelings but suppress them because she didn't want to risk losing her income stream to support her children?
Is she one of those girls whose minds can change day to day on who they're interested in?
Or was I just played by the greatest actress I've ever met?
Was there ever a chance I had with her?
What goes on in their head when these situations occur?
The whole ordeal has left a wound in my psyche. I was genuinely sad about all of this. It will be a while before I return to the hobby - if ever, that's for sure.
They're very good questions, however. In my experience, (now I am one year older than you, so listen to your elder,) lol jk.
I've found these questions are impossible to answer and have answered except from the person you're asking them about. Since she is not available to ask them to, I would strongly suggest accepting that the questions are unanswered until you meet her again... if you do.
Let her go. If its meant to be, she'll show up again. Cliche, but it's a strong enough statement to go by when that's all you can do.
People fall in and out of love all the time. Also, one can be attached to another, but then move on. A huge part of life is simply moving on and keeping the good memories.
Dear Ms. Ova:
Would you say that you are an excellent therapist and each time an interaction might have the potential to become something intimate you remind them that this is merely your job. Also how often would you see repeat clients as part of your work as a sexual and relationship therapist? Also when would you stop seeing a client if the situation starts to become dangerous from an emotional and psychological standpoint? Although you are not out to hurt anyone I know there is a certain line that you do not cross so that you can maintain your professionalism as well as the sensitivity and caring of a human being. I know that these are professional and personal conundrums that you have pondered from time to time when you began in the hobby and still to this day. Please elaborate further when you get a minute.
Dear Duplicitouslust:
"Would you say that you are an excellent therapist and each time an interaction might have the potential to become something intimate you remind them that this is merely your job."
No. I'm a friend, not a therapist. I only play one on TV. And I simply say what I think and believe on an opinion basis.
"Also how often would you see repeat clients as part of your work as a sexual and relationship therapist?"
It's a non issue because Im' not a relationship therapist.
"Also when would you stop seeing a client if the situation starts to become dangerous from an emotional and psychological standpoint?"
The second it starts seeming dangerous.
"Although you are not out to hurt anyone I know there is a certain line that you do not cross so that you can maintain your professionalism as well as the sensitivity and caring of a human being."
As much as it is my job to protect his feelings, it is his job not to cross those lines. But some are good at creating that fantasy. Hopefully I am one of them.
"I know that these are professional and personal conundrums that you have pondered from time to time when you began in the hobby and still to this day."
No, I actually deal with it as it comes because every person and situation is different.
Please elaborate further when you get a minute.
My elaboration on the purpose of my initial response to the OP was, no one can answer his question. It is simply him putting unnecessary stress on himself that is not resolvable. An answer to his questions won't take the questions away until she answers them. He just needs to let go. That is well known. I'm also speaking of something I have recently done, and have seen a close friend to. Acceptance is like having sandbags taken off of your shoulders.
Thanks for asking, however. You're too cute.
-- Modified on 6/9/2014 6:38:34 PM
You opened your heart and she trampled mightily on it, keeping you in the dark as she played her hand with cunning. And you a salesman, of all people - but it goes to show the wisdom of that old song I have linked below.
Your questions are for the ages, my friend.
Just be glad your wallet didn't get taken along for the ride also.
Just be glad you aren't the guy she wound up with.
Never once been with a hooker who didn't reach orgasm. How do I know for sure? They told me, that's how. LOL
HTG used to say that "this whole GFE bullshit made the guys fall for the girls." She was right. Girls got to be so good at the GFE thing, many dudes just like yourself were actually starting to buy into the illusion.
It is in the best interests of these girls to make you think they are into you, to a certain extent, b/c they don't want to get gigged on a review that describes them as aloof and distant. Every GFE lovin' guy will run from that type girl and the girls know this.
But it's not the girl's fault. I tell any newb that listens to me to play the field. Sure, see a fav more than once but if you ever get close to the point of wanting to see her "exclusively" (meaning YOU wont see any other hookers) that is a major red flag that should be heeded.
Contrary to what my bud CPA said, I think you need to get away from the biz for awhile. You're not ready to fk another broad now. You'll proly blow the money on some girl thinking about the one that got away and you wont enjoy it. I do agree in the principle to "jump right back on the horse" generally, but not in this case.
Every person in this biz needs to get away from it from time to time. Breaks are good. They are re-energizing and healthy.
Take a good, long break. You'll know when to come back. Your little head will tell you. LOL
fall off a horse you get right back up onto the horse and ride again. The OP needs to have a successful encounter to put ms broken heart out of his thoughts.
If he was complaining about a few consecutive bad experiences with different hookers (e.g. they didn't perform his preferred menu options or they weren't into the session/they had an off night, or they cut a session short, etc.) and from those few bad experiences in a row, he was talking about leaving the business, I would TOTALLY agree with you and CPA. Like I said, I am down with the "fall off a bike, get right back on" theory, generally.
But this is something totally different. You don't pine for a gal that you clearly have feelings for and cure that by banging some new girl. He has no desire to fk a new girl now, imo, and he would just be going thru the motions and have his wallet lighter. This isn't a physical or sexual thing, it is an emotional thing for the OP.
This is the equivalent of him being hungry and you want to give him water. When you are not emotionally involved like the OP, it's easy for any of us to say "just go bang another gal."
I just don't think in this situation that will help him at all. There is a time and place for that, it just isn't NOW, imo
A good GFE is going to do that and the ladies cannot be blamed for doing a great job. I get a tad peeved when the ladies get accused of "playing" a john, (CPA mentioned this). In this case she didn't hit him up for more money but gave him extras, and now this is a crime????
Guys, you wanted this and now you have it, and it is up to you to deal with the fall out if you fall for the incredible illusion some ladies are so very good at providing.
Jack has the right idea!
She told me I "love the way your cum tastes"
.... I told her, I love you!
Do I... really?
handing over gobs and gobs of our PERSONAL time is not part of any 'act' that i've ever seen. i don't even spend significant amounts of my personal time with most of the clients for whom i genuinely care - being intensely introverted with a need for lots of time alone, that's a very rare phenomenon for me. dinner once in awhile; a few extra minutes spend catching up on our respective lives is totally typical; but not several hours of free time, every time i see someone.
i think it's safe to say that she did care about you. that said, feelings do not negate boundaries. she probably genuinely liked you as a friend - may have even cared for you as a potential romantic interest - but for whatever reason, it was not meant to be.
at any rate, i think that obsessing over it is bound to do you no good at all, and may possibly be harmful. be grateful for the connection that you had with her; just because she is gone, it does not mean that she did not add value to your life during the time you spent together. everyone adds something to our lives; even if they are only able to stay for a short time, it was worth it to have had them at all.
you learned a valuable lesson... the hobby does not make things emotionally 'safe.' chemistry and compatibility can cut right through the 'business' aspect of things. it's also important to remember that you can care about someone, maybe even love them; but it doesn't mean you'll get what you ultimately want from the situation.
That is an absolutely awesome reply to the OP. I don't comment on here often but I went through a similar situation as the OP. But in my case, I was the one that caused the rift between myself and her. I highly doubt I'll ever be able to mend our friendship, but I learned so much from that experience.
After the dust settled I'm no longer upset about the situation, and can reflect on our times together as pretty damn awesome. I agree that if you're looking for love than the hobby isn't for you, I had to take a while off myself. It might take a while, but just remember the good times you both had.
i think it's safe to say that she did care about you. that said, feelings do not negate boundaries. she probably genuinely liked you as a friend - may have even cared for you as a potential romantic interest - but for whatever reason, it was not meant to be.
at any rate, i think that obsessing over it is bound to do you no good at all, and may possibly be harmful. be grateful for the connection that you had with her; just because she is gone, it does not mean that she did not add value to your life during the time you spent together. everyone adds something to our lives; even if they are only able to stay for a short time, it was worth it to have had them at all.
you learned a valuable lesson... the hobby does not make things emotionally 'safe.' chemistry and compatibility can cut right through the 'business' aspect of things. it's also important to remember that you can care about someone, maybe even love them; but it doesn't mean you'll get what you ultimately want from the situation.
I forgot to add one last comment.
Just keep your head up, it is a cliche saying but time does help things.
I can't agree with butterflydust more. I know I have recently entered into a friendship with a provider. We don't even have sex anymore and obviously I don't get charged for her time. I value the time we spend together and it is hard not to fall for this beautiful, special lady, but her friendship has become more important than just a client/provider relationship. Where this goes, I'm not sure but I'm enjoying it while I have it.
I will not repeat with any escorts for the foreseeable future
There was one, however, I started getting attached to. I've seen her about a dozen times over the course of a year. We really enjoyed each other's companies - we could talk for hours about everything; our broken homes we grew up in, life, everything. She became a low volume and under the radar a few months into doing this work and one time didn't even want my money. When I saw her I'd pay for the hour but usually stay the night or at least a few hours. After a while she hinted that there were times up in my area where she was super bored, and wanted something to do during the weekends, but usually flaked out the last minute. While she was out of town, we would occasionally text each other stupid funny things. Sometimes I would get pure radio silence from her.
I work as a sales executive for a living, and reading people is one of my strengths. The vast majority of the escorts I've seen are friendly and professional and that's it. This one? I'm not so sure. She certainly liked having me around during our appointments, but was there anything more? There are some things which are difficult to fake - the way her pupils would dilate when we held each other, and many random intimate moments that seemed to have a sense of passion behind it, more than just a friendly business transaction. She'd talk about what our kids would look like, and we'd have a large number of sappy, vomit inducing lovey dovey moments. After 6 months of seeing her I started letting her know I was getting attached.
As stupid as it sounds, if she had taken up my offers to do something outside of her work and we enjoyed our time together, I would have eventually asked her to go exclusive and leave the business behind. I would have taken care of her. It would be a non-business date, because I needed to know I wasn't just an ATM to her. I know she wanted financial security and I had the means to provide her a decent middle class lifestyle (judging by her client volume and the posessions she owned, the pictures of her apartment she showed me, she was not "raking it in" but rather just getting by. It was a long shot and would require serious lifestyle changes for the two of us - and these sort of arrangements have a history of very rarely working out - but I probably would have done it anyway if she were also willing to make necessary changes. She made me feel a way my ex wife and all of my ex girlfriends rarely could.
Two months ago I found out she retired, and that she's now engaged to someone in her agency's management and has been with him on and off for a while. No word, nothing from her directly. My heart sank upon hearing this. To me, the feeling wasn't much different than the more difficult breakups I've had in the past. I find myself thinking about her time to time, wondering what she's up to and jealous that I'm not around and with someone else.
**So the major question I have is:
What was her deal?
Was I just a another "preferred client" to her?
Did she actually catch feelings from time to time with me but learned to compartmentalize them as many do within this profession? Was she thinking about someone else while with me?
Did she catch feelings but suppress them because she didn't want to risk losing her income stream to support her children?
Is she one of those girls whose minds can change day to day on who they're interested in?
Or was I just played by the greatest actress I've ever met?
Was there ever a chance I had with her?
What goes on in their head when these situations occur?
The whole ordeal has left a wound in my psyche. I was genuinely sad about all of this. It will be a while before I return to the hobby - if ever, that's for sure.
Sometimes a lady just needs a friend. I found myself in a situation one time that went outside the "norm" found here. I will not go into detail because she knows my alias and trust is something I hold dear , and I'm using an alias because I reviewed her and don't want anyone guessing which lady I'm talking about.
I once met a lady while traveling on buisness, she knew I was out of town and therefore may never have seen me again. So need to put on a facade to hope I turned into a ATM for her. But some of the things we have done and secrets shared with and without a donation would make any man go hmmmmm what the hell?
But I viewed it like this, two people clicked, became friends and genuinely enjoyed eachothers company, at no time did I ever have romantic illusions, why screw with a good thing? I like her she likes me we chat quite a bit but only see eachother every few months. It's pretty straight forward a pretty lady liking me for me and not just the cash really lifted my spirits through some tough times I was facing, and though I have never asked I'm assuming she was in need of a real friend at the time. Karma kind of thing right place right time, there are all kinds of feelings that can develop with a man and a woman, everytime a gal needs a friend it's not love, so don't confuse it or get all crazy and stuff. Sounds like she needed a friend, a shoulder to lean on or a sympathetic ear, maybe a chance to come from behind the mask and feel like a real woman not just some guys source of physical pleasure. Or maybe just someone she feels safe with to have fun. That may have been the case. Not sure how I ended up with the friend I made but I feel blessed and am actually very pleased that I can be a confidant and sympathetic ear now and then as she has for me without complicating things. Look at it like that and hopefully you can look back and smile instead of being jaded.
And you know who if you're reading this, maybe it brought a smile to you're face as thinking back on some things did mine as I wrote this. Friendship is cool, relationships not so much.
Subtract the P4P portion of this and it sounds like what can happen to anyone in "less" real life...
The successful ones don't talk about it...
That's a tough question to answer.
In my situation I've been spending alot of off the clock time with the Girl I'm seeing. I met her over a year ago. We just hang out go to dinner and do some shopping. Sure I see her for a session about once a week. But the other times we just hang out and have fun. Does she have feelings for me? I'd say somewhat. Do I have feelings for her? Um HELL YEAH!!!! She's really Sweet and too darn Adorable.
When you "hang out go to dinner and do some shopping" who picks up the tab?
Dinner we will excuse but if you are paying for the shopping then that is a Sugar Daddy relationship.
Dinner we will excuse but if you are paying for the shopping then that is a Sugar Daddy relationship.
She's really good to me. So I just want to show her my appreciation by doing a few nice things for her. If this is considered being a "Sugar Daddy" then so be it.
Well anyone who is not an asshole would be willing to pick up the tab for dinner.
But "There have been a few occasions where she pays for her own shopping" (Sorry, had to correct the typo on occasions)
YUP! Must be love!
Henceforth you shall be referred by the term "SD". Be thankful it is not STD
rather than the girl you are "paying."
When I talk to my mom or girlfriends that know I'm a provider, I call my regulars "My Favorites", "My Guys" or "The Guys I'm Seeing". I feel like because they are my regulars and have been so good to me that they deserve a better title. I even have endearing nicknames for each of them. Calling them clients or johns seems like they are objects instead of real men of substance, and it seems too business-like. I'm really not much of a business woman....just a slut with financial goals.
So yeah, ROGM....you call her your provider, your girl, the girl you're seeing. It's cute. I bet she loves the way you dote on her. Everytime you write about her, I go "awwwwwwww". Bless your heart. 
So yeah, ROGM....you call her your provider, your girl, the girl you're seeing. It's cute. I bet she loves the way you dote on her. Everytime you write about her, I go "awwwwwwww". Bless your heart.
Thank You. I realize she's a Provider cause that's how I met her. But as I got to know her I found out that she's just like any other girl trying to survive and pay her Bills. If you asked me a year ago that I would know so much about her Life and be this Friendly with her a year later I would have said you're Crazy. I was just looking for a Girl for my Playtime Needs. Nothing more. She's a Sweetheart. So how can I not like her?
And "the girl he's seeing" is fictional.
Don't forget that part!!! Hahahahahaha
]No insults or sarcasm or scorn.
Lots of thoughtful responses - some humor - lots of sound advice - lots of caring.
This "hobby" can be dangerous - legally, physically, and emotionally - no matter which side of the envelope we're on.
But at the end of the day, those of us who participate share certain insights, knowledge, and secrets that the vast majority of our contemporaries (who so righteously look down on us) may never comprehend.
We have so much more in common than we have differences.
This thread has been a great example of what this community can be when we come together to offer support to someone who needs it.
From a very infrequent poster - a hearty "Well Done" to all who responded.
Ask about some OTC lunch or dinner time. If it's for $ then you have your answer. If it's for free tread lightly.
Either one will cost Money. So what's the difference?
The flippant answer of course is that Civvies are much more expensive, but if you really think that you are buying love, or genuine feelings of any kind, you are sadly mistaken.
Love does happen in P4P, but it is not purchased. It sometimes happens all by itself, but to delude yourself into thinking that you can buy a providers love is simply setting yourself up for a lot of heartache.
Providers are much tighter and fresher. Civi girls tend to stay too. Hate that!
What's wrong with treating these Girls nice? Some of you think that being nice to these Girls is in some way a wrong thing to do. Whatever. I like being nice to the Provider I'm seeing. I guess I'm not as Jaded about Women as you Married guys are.
Except the hells angel i lived with like ten years ago. Aside from him and the motorcycle stunt rider, But the motorcycle stunt rider I met at the strip club i was workin at too we were posing for his flyers for a show he was to do at the club outdoors on his gixxer. I spelled wrong , speak n spell dont get ya panties in abunch my man where ever your ass is...........xo
Since 28 i dated mostly guys i met escorting, I mainly go for kinda bad boys with tats that are close to my age and in really good shape, ....................I had a few bouncers at a nice strip club ages ago that would send me the biggest whales, I met a few good bf that way, They ended up givin me more and enough to live nice than the clients so i just hund with them instead. xoxox Plus i was attracted to em so it was win win,
I truly believe that. Time heals hearts. This pain is temporary, but the fond memories are forever.
It's a possibility she caught herself falling for you but decided it would be better to back off. Or, she might have deeply cared about you, but had the on again off again BF going on in the background. He just happened to win.
If she was giving you all that OTC, I highly doubt she was just acting to get to your wallet. Some of y'all are so charming, funny, great in bed, kind, genuine, etc etc that it's hard not to develop a special fondness.
You may never know. The sooner you accept that hard fact, the sooner you can move on.
Best wishes, fanman!
Take the good with the bad, and be on the look out for the unforeseen; that is, expect the unexpected.
Most important, though, take full responsibility for all your choices, successful or not.
What you wrote is sensitively written, but it reads like it’s more about your feelings then hers. It’s also about the choice you've made, and sounds like you’re trying to cope with it by asking questions about what makes her tick.
Yet, since you’re in sales, (I’m in sales, too) then I take it you know something about selling psychology. At its simplest, a customer wants to do business with you because you've got something that meets her needs. (Isn't that what providers do?)
Yet, you want to take it to the next level with her, as in marriage/soul mate.
So, it could be asked: what is meeting her needs? What is this man she is engaged to doing that you’re not doing? What does he have to offer her that you don’t?
If it’s worth it, find out and go try to win her over. If it’s not worth it, get empathy, then move on. Take full responsibility for your choice and actions. Who knows, she may later come back, or you will meet someone new that you are more compatible with—a surprise is also a good thing
I'm going through a very similar situation. It's hard to convince yourself that this fantasy relationship you develop with a provider is just that, a fantasy. I've seen my girl for the past 4 months. The first time we were together it was like fireworks in terms of connecting with each other. Each subsequent meeting was the same. The long talks that we have feel all too real. Sometimes we just sit and listen to music for hours on end before we go BCD. She divulges tons of personal info regarding her past life (ex husband, daughter, etc). I always stay way too long and she always asks for me to stay the night. A thing I can't possibly do. I read some of her reviews but not all. Honestly, I stopped reading them because I was getting jealous. I think of her constantly and in my mind I think she does the same. Maybe there is something there, but I get this sinking feeling sometimes that I'm being taken for a ride. Not being new to the hobby, I feel like I should know better. I've decided ,even before reading this thread, that I need to take a break from her to sort out my head.
in the WhoreMonger handbook!!!!! Never fall for your favorite hooker.
I never got that Handbook. Even if I did I'd still probably fall for her anyway.
This may not be so much about her but about what it meant to you to feel of emotional value to someone and then lose that. Maybe it is a good idea to work on the meaningful relationships you may have in your life already (these do not have to be romantic): parents, siblings, close friends; expand those and the need to fill the void with this "maybe not unreal!!!" affection will start to go away.
-- Modified on 6/11/2014 5:54:51 PM
-- Modified on 6/11/2014 5:56:15 PM
OK! So I like my Provider. I take her Shopping and out to Dinner. Is this Wrong? Did I commit a Mongering Sin? I got nothing against how you guys Treat the Provider you're seeing. But it seems like being a little nice to these girls is somehow a Mongering Crime? She's really really good to me. I just wanted to show my appreciation by being nice to her.
Why are worrying about what the slobs on this board say? If you FEEL appreciation it's only natural to show it. It only becomes weird when you start FEELING troubled because of what your experiences lead you to FEEL.
Try this: Feel whatever you feel about a woman, and let yourself react as those feelings suggest.
DON'T pay any attention to FEELINGS (or worries) that arise in you because these FEELINGS over REAL experiences MIGHT not be appropriate.
Yes, yes, I know, I know. Some fool will jump up now and cry out that this means if you feel HURT you might decided to smack your provider in the face, SO the only possible way to prevent such behavior is to either feel nothing at all--which many of the most prolific posters on this board suggest--or else to carefully QUESTION every feeling you have and never respond to them.
There's no way to respond to such fools, that I can see, except to take comfort in knowing that their experiences with the ladies we all see will never rise above the physical relief of sexual tension. They get their blowjob, say, "Oooohhh! THAT felt good!" Then they put their pants back on and leave. They never forget it's strictly business, and they are incapable of any momentary suspension of disbelief. Don't worry about their comments.
Try this: Feel whatever you feel about a woman, and let yourself react as those feelings suggest.
DON'T pay any attention to FEELINGS (or worries) that arise in you because these FEELINGS over REAL experiences MIGHT not be appropriate.
Yes, yes, I know, I know. Some fool will jump up now and cry out that this means if you feel HURT you might decided to smack your provider in the face, SO the only possible way to prevent such behavior is to either feel nothing at all--which many of the most prolific posters on this board suggest--or else to carefully QUESTION every feeling you have and never respond to them.
There's no way to respond to such fools, that I can see, except to take comfort in knowing that their experiences with the ladies we all see will never rise above the physical relief of sexual tension. They get their blowjob, say, "Oooohhh! THAT felt good!" Then they put their pants back on and leave. They never forget it's strictly business, and they are incapable of any momentary suspension of disbelief. Don't worry about their comments.
Thanks. It's just that being a little nice to these Girls is somehow committing a Mongering Felony. Hey whatever. My Girl is so Good to me. She always has time to see me. I want to be nice to her by treating her to Dinner and Shopping every now and then. I don't take her to Dinner and Shopping everyday. Just every now and then. I do like her a whole lot for sure. She tells me so much about her Life. Why she tells me I don't know. I do know that she Trusts me alot. So I'm never going to betray her Trust for me.
Maybe she took the ONLY marriage proposal made to her. Your catiuosness was the snooze that made you lose. Yeah a broken heart is a bitch but that doesn't make her a bitch.