Isn't the point of the hobby to avoid any emotional attachments and experience variety?  I'm wondering why some men become regulars with certain providers and how they handle the problems I can imagine.

Unless there is a lot of funds, the variety will probably suffer; leaving the one provider as the only one - which sort of makes it similar to a GF or an affair in the traditional sense.  

There surely must be some form of emotional attachment for the man after some time, but with the disadvantage that the provider still continues her job (which most guys find hard to accept), and the fact that you are still paying for it...

On the providers side - doesn't it become more difficult to keep the emotional detachment?

Just wondering what everyone thinks?

I prefer a regular due to the fact, that is my preference.  Providers are all different, and she knows what you like, and you know the boundaries.  I have had a lot of fun as a regular.  There are advantages that a first timer will never get.  Had one provider for over a year.  I knew my role and she knew hers.  Never got attached, knew each others real names and work.  When I left the prior city, stay in touch when I return.  I love it.  Now in NY, doing the same.  Do not get me wrong, if something of good quality comes up, I try it.  I guess a regular is like having a lady friend.  

To me the GFE experience is about the bond with the provider, and you can't do that running around.  I also like the fact that providers that are regulars like to mix it up to keep you. Most importantly, if she is not feeling well or into it, they can let you know, and you do not end up with bad service.  I have had one provider that goes the whole week if she is seeing me in order make sure I have the best time.  I love this hobby.  But you have to place it in prospective.

...on the people involved.

I enjoy regularly seeing my ATF and while we discuss some personal matters, our relationship is a sort of casual fondness.  Not love, not emotional attachment, and there's no jealousy. Actually, I suppose it's largely because of the way she handles it--friendly but not manipulative.  

I imagine it could become disastrous with a scheming provider...you know how easy it is for men to allow themselves to be ruled. And there have been tales of woe posted here and elsewhere about some poor chump being separated from his bank account by an unethical provider.

You nailed it exactly.  You can hook up with a few ladies on a regular basis, funds permitting.  

Funding is not an issue for me. I've found that many ladies prefer a semi-regular drubbing.  I graciously accept discounts and decline freebies.  I've had offers to get married, move in, hire on, whatever.  I don't accept them, but I respect them.

Rightly or wrongly, when one of us perceives that she or he are not getting needs met sufficiently, time to "move on" is declared.  No legal entanglements because the law won’t recognize illegal contracts.

Now we know why escorting is illegal.  Someone has to protect us from these comely, independent, attractive free spirits…




-- Modified on 4/21/2004 7:33:40 PM

I think it very possible for a guy to see a particular provider on a regular basis and not encounter all of the emotional attachments you are concerned about. One needs to keep in focus that this is a business arrangement between the two of you and NOT a dating scenerio. I elect to see a particular lady on a very regular basis as I find we "click" very nicely at several levels which makes my tme with her especially enjoyable and comfortable. I think over time we both have become familiar with what "works" for the other person and so the intimate time we spend together is relaxed and uncomplicated. Additionally, I like who she is as a person, enjoy her humor and her wit and would be equally comfortable spending time with her outside the bedroom as just a very dear friend.

And you're right; variety and casual intimacy (an oxymoron?) are two of the most attractive aspects of this hobby.  But, like so many people, while I have a fully furnished living room, there's one recliner I tend to favor because it's the most comfortable.  

As much as we profess to enjoy variety, I think it's more common than you might imagine for hobbyists to develop preferences for one, or for a select few, of the providers they see.  On one hand, these ladies offer the passion, wanton abandon and sensuous energy lacking in so many relationships, while on the other hand, still providing the warmth and familiarity of a close friend.  It's a hard combination to beat.

And yes, one does run the risk of developing an emotional attachment.  With some of these ladies, you'd have to be dead not to feel something.  In fact, when I was new to the hobby, I fell into the trap (one of my own making) of falling for a provider.  It wasn't the mess it often turns out to be, since I'm not married.  The relationship just finally ran its course, and we parted ways with no hard feelings.

Since then, I've had the good fortune to develop relationships with several other providers who live near me, but the character of these relationships is that of friends rather than that of lovers.  As such, I'm able to see these ladies on occasion, have a lot of fun, say goodnight, and not be bothered at all by the knowledge that they're going to be with someone else the next day.  I understand that to these women, this really IS just a job.  

More often than I would've expected, the ladies and I see each other socially.  And we hang out the way a group of friends might.  We may have dinner at one of our homes, or go to a comedy club, or a show.  Sometimes, just as with a civilian date, things wind up in the bedroom.  Other times, we just say goodnight.  It's an uncomplicated, unpretentious relationship; one that I -- and I have to believe my friends -- find refreshing.  But, there's no place for possessiveness or jealousy.

We all understand the friendships we have will likely never evolve into anything serious.  At this stage, I don't think any of us would want that to happen.  And we know that, as each of us eventually finds someone special, our little group will gradually dissolve.  But for now, I don't think I've ever had a more loyal, supportive or honest bunch of friends.

I used to ask myself the same things once. What the hell are these guys doing talking about ATFs?? It didn't make any sense to me either.

Well, now it seems i have found one and i gotta say, at times it still doesn't make any damn sense to me! But those times are really few and far between. I think alot of it depends on your situation/outlook as to what you expect.

I wasn't here looking for an ATF, for lack of a better term. But hey, i found one. It actually seems to be a very good fit for my life at the time. We share alot of the same outlooks. She's great to be around, she's beautiful(by my standards anyway). She has the ability to me make me feel good just being me.

In short, she's everything i would want in a woman if i wanted a relationship based in long term commitment. But i don't want a relationship based in long term commitment. What i wanted was to be able to spend an evening with a beautiful lady from time to time with no major strings, and that's what i seem to have found.

When i'm with her a can turn myself totally over to her and the fantasy and forget everything else in life for whatever ammount of time we have together.

I agree with the part about the variety being less then if you didn't have a favorite lady. I see others from time to time still, but not to often. It's more about comfort, communication, and the total experience then it is about the money(for me anyway). I could see other ladies more and my ATF less, but why should i when i leave them afterward thinking how much better the experience would have been with someone i was totally comfortable with telling all your likes/ dislikes. Someone who knows me good enough to read me just from a glance and know what kind of night i'm looking for, then make sure i get just that.

One thing i don't understand is why we here seem to have such a hard time accepting what it is these ladies(our ATFS) do. Their vocation is what actually brought us together, It is part of who they are. It's part of what makes them the people they are mentally and sexually and all of the sudden you want them to change. That part really is beyond me.

Are there emotional attachments formed? Yeah
Do i care about her? Yes, can't deny it.
Do i worry about her? Only in terms of personal safety. She's a grown woman and smarter then i in most catagories.
Do i love her? That's a question way to complex for me to answer. I love the time we spend together though.
Is she the reason i get up in the morning, live and breathe? No, but nor am i that to her.

I think the key to keeping your head screwed on straight if you're actually looking for someone in an ATF capacity is finding a lady that you mesh with at least as much mentally as  physically(if not more) and can be brutally honest with in your expectations. And be able to have her be just as honest with you as to what her expectations are.

I've found that it can be a wonderful thing, but i've also never lost sight of the fact that we each have our own lives and there are some lines that just shouldn't be crossed.  

-- Modified on 4/21/2004 12:08:16 AM

Exclusivity and Permanency.

Yeah, life is complicated.  I think most of us crave variety and freedom, and, to be honest, the absence of responsibility.  Yet we also crave stability, the comfort of the familiar, and genuine affection.

I find that I rarely see a provider more than twice.  I think I finally understand why.  There has to have been something special to bring me back a second time.  The first time all was fantasy and delight.  After the second, I realize that the only way I'm going to get more (and I'm referring to the lady's company here, not the sex) is as a paying customer.  I have to back off to protect myself from my own feelings.

There are two providers who I consider close friends and a couple of others where that could develop.  One I could even imagine myself falling in love with.  She knows who she is and I'm not about to tell anyone else.

Finally, no matter how you go about it, this IS an expensive hobby.

The beauty of the hobby is the fantasy--feeling wanted, almost worshipped, by a gorgeous woman who, in many cases, would never give us the time of day otherwise. The fine line between fantasy and reality gets blurred when a hobbyist invests too much time into one provider. It's healthier, in my opinion, to vary providers on occasion to keep things in proper perspective. As much as a provider may like me [which, incidentally, is her job to pretend is the case, at a minimum] I'm essentially an expendable form of income for her. Don't confuse loyalty with naivete, gents. They do what they do, and we do what we do...period.

Excellent description of the hobby, blakkromeo2k.  I couldn't have said it better.(eom)

"One thing I don't understand is why we here seem to have such a hard time accepting what it is these ladys (sic) do"

Oh, yeah.  Hit it right on the head there.

I am fortunate not to be the jealous type, but it seems that I am in a minority of men and women.

The hobby is a a business transaction. Once you lose sight of that you need a good dope slap in the head to bring you back to reality. If that doesn't work then you need to find a new hobby. Golf season is now upon us.

All kidding aside, seeing a provider on a regular basis should not open the door for emotional attachment. If you let that happen as described in your post then you've confused fantasy with reality.

I have seen the same clients monthly or weekly for years and for me, it's still just friendship with benefits. After a few hours or a wonderful evening, I turn them back over to their wives, their jobs and their regular lives and I go home happily to a warm bath, a furry dog, a loving family and all the things in life I value.

I would think attachments could happen once in a blue moon. But erotica is such a small part of what composes a relationship/union/bond/marriage. Just because you burn up a few calories, lay in the same bed or dine together at Spago, does not mean you want to grow old together and fold socks while watching reruns of The Love Boat.

This hobby is not reality so don't think for a moment that it's love unless of course, she's offering free and calling your house day and night.

True love ain't pretty. It's composed of a lot of stuff you will never see in this hobby. Guys who have been in multiple relationships (real ones) know what I'm saying.

To quote J. Geils, "Love Stinks". The transaction of cash for fun is easy as pie. Real life feelings are not pie.
This hobby is far from what a real relationship is and I hope that unseasoned men (those who have not had many real relationships) are not warped by the hobby.

We have become a society content with immediate gratification and that holds its price. I think mature and married men can best keep things in perspective but I do fear that young men may totally lose touch with what it takes to birth, grow and sustain a loving relationship. If you think you can toss cash at someone to command pseudo-feelings, lust, enjoyment and passion on demand, then what is the point of working toward achieving these things in a "real" relationship. The point for some men is the lack of emotional risk and everyone has a time and place where they do not want to take those risks, where they just want to have fun, chill and ponder life. But a young, single man 21-30 may be throwing away his entire peak emotional development years if he pays for things he could well get on his own. The getting of them, risk, reward, try, fail, developing techniques in love, lust, caring, asking women out on dates...those are all things that help a young inexperienced man mature into a jaded sexual dynamo. LOL

I think this hobby is useful when it takes people who would otherwise be at home, out, to take steps toward getting back into the swing of things so to speak, emotionally, physically, mentally. There are times in our lives where both men and women do not want heavy relationships. There are answers that can be found and many of them may pertain more to where you are in your life and less about women. What have you learned about yourself?

Someone once told me that this whole hobby was about men needed to be validated. I didn't agree. I think it's about men learning who they are and what they value in a partner.

It's very nice to read such thoughtful and open responses on this thread.

I get emotionally attached to some guys I see.  I don't fall in love with them (generally) but if I've spent time with somebody, got along well and we've really enjoyed each other's company then of course I care about them.  There are men I've met through escorting that I am genuinely fond of, I look forward to seeing them and catching up on what they've been doing etc. I don't flick a switch to be a different person when I'm with clients so I'm as likely to meet somebody and genuinely like them as I am my 'civilian' life.  I imagine for some guys it's the same the other way around.

As long as the emotional attachment is appropriate to the circumstances then I don't see a problem with it at all.

-- Modified on 4/21/2004 1:03:25 AM

Well said, Carrie.  I myself am not able to be anything other than genuine with my clients.  Especially if they're my regular clients. They'd know if I wasn't. They're smart successful men.  And I guarantee you, if they're regulars, I'm just as fond of them as they are me.  Why else would I agree to see them again and again?  It's a two way street, gentlemen.  We'd prefer to spend time with someone we have a strong connection with and respect than see a volume of new people or worse yet, someone that treats us less than special.

I can't imagine not having an emotional attachment once you've been seeing someone regularly for 6 months to a year.  I believe it's human nature to have that attachment.  I mean afterall, a relationship is being developed.  In my opinion, loving your clients is perfectly natural, falling in love with them is when it becomes dangerous and unhealthy.  I purposely don't let myself go there.  At least not until I'm ready to quit this business.  Gentlemen should be cautious with that emotion as well.

I must say, I've really enjoyed reading everyone's thoughtful responses.  Thank you for that.

or maybe a highly motivated sexual retard.

How bout an interesting,funny,charming,energized,f**KS like a bunny rabbit type of guy...
as for the latter...gotta keep them batteries recharging...or put some of that blue V stuff in his Trix

Cheers!

-- Modified on 4/21/2004 5:57:30 AM

As I read your message Carrie,I found myself getting emotionally
attached... then I clicked on your link...

LUST!

Cheers!

I was considering the two hobbies...

Daty versus A hole in one...way two close to call.
(I'm sure there is a good joke here somewhere)

but then I considered DFK,BBBJ, and CG...Its no contest!

Cheers!

Before we all get too anal (no, no - the other meaning of the word!), maybe we should just realize that emotional attachments can - and should - happen sometimes. Some even call it love. As for the hobby (a disingenious title indeed), common sense management is all that's needed. I have several regulars, have some attachment to each one of them, and I'm not going broke. Whatever else may happen along the way, well ....

I have had the good fortune of becoming true, off the clock friends with a handful of my clients in the year I have been escorting.  Not every man, and not even every regular becomes a friend.  As in life it takes a certain amount of chemistry for two people to click enough for the relationship to cross into the realm of true friendship.  I truly care about these men and they about me.  We even keep in touch weekly or monthly long after the business relationship ends and they move onto other girls.

It is possible to find more in this business that just a business transaction but it isn't the norm. We have to also keep in mind that this isn't "love" in the traditional sense but a deep affection.  When they start to become jealous (or YOU start to become jealous) it's time to end the physical part of the relationship.

Ok , I dont really know if I can add anything here or just restate the common feelings. Yes this hobby is expensive and we do enjoy both variety and some form of deeper connection with thoes we share our time with.It is also a way of keeping our skills(both physical and social) in top shape.After all we all know "What you dont use you Loose"(ouch).So I say Hobby on,Feel free to look for the one who can really find the right buttons to push and rub you the right way and dont be afraid of developing a commom attraction for more that just the physical.Just remember this is not the place to be looking for monotany Opps I mean Monogamy. If you cant allow others the freedom of pleasure that you desire for yourself you will ultimately miss more than what is available in life.Just because you have an ATF doesn't mean you are missing variety. It has more to do with how deep you like to explore that variety.Life is too precious to hurry through it. "Life is a Banquet and most poor bastards are starving to death"

How true.

What else is there after all the mutual lust, affection and chemistry?
speaking of which...
How's that song go..."will I see you.... in September"

Cheers!

Great post Woody!

Which way to the buffet?

Cheers!

You can have a sexual relationship with a provider where, most of the time, both of you are treating each other like people, not simply sexual objects or ways to make money.  My guess is that the attempt is inherently unstable:  you can't continue it over a long period.  

When the person you are with becomes a person, the implications of that personhood can make it very hard to continue the hobbist-provider relationship in the "normal" form.  If your relationship is based on mutual desire and caring, then why is money changing hands?  A particular relationship may have reasons for this: but the money can color the thing and make the mutual desire very hard to see and maintain.  

My theory and my $0.02.    Harry

-- Modified on 4/21/2004 6:33:26 AM

-- Modified on 4/21/2004 6:34:24 AM

In my rather lengthy career as a slutpuppy, I've been a "regular" w/ perhaps a dozen providers, I've been in love with one (w/ the feelings returned), and I've had emotional attachments to a few.  The connection with each provider was completely different from the next.  It almost always encompassed compassion and friendship that went way beyond the bedroom.  Beyond that, tho, it was always different.

What I will say, though, is that my relationships with providers have been completely different from my civilian relationships.  They've been zany, exciting, dangerous, immense fun, terrifying at times, immensely rewarding at other times.  The very few providers with whom I've had "relationships" were uncannily brilliant, totally fearless, widely traveled and experienced, emotionally deep, highly imaginative, witty and loads of fun.  True, a few couldn't balance a checkbook if their life depended on it and might have difficulty organizing a hamburger, but that was never a critical issue.  

The bottom line?  I've put more cash into this hobby than I earned in my first two years as a professional.  And I feel I've come out with more than I've invested.  Thank you, providers!

the final sentence.
As long as the emotional attachment is appropriate to the circumstances then I don't see a problem with it at all.

I've recently grown very fond of a  special lady and we've seen each other a lot lately. Now does that mean I'm a regular, or a frequent repeater, or an ATF, or a sugar daddy or an asshole. I don't think the term matters. I do know when we're together,and not just in bed, that there is an emotional attachment. Why fight it, we both know where we're coming from and won't allow it to go any further.
We recently had a conversation, not about us, but regarding the feelings that can come about from such intimate behavior, how there are numerous threads on boards about the dreaded *L* word.
I believe she got it right when she said---You don't fall in love with the person, but you fall in love the feeling you get when your together.

As with all rules, there are exceptions, Sedona...and you're right. Some providers do put their heart into their work. In my experience, this rarely happens, but does fortunately.

I agree with you Carrie.

I can't imagine sharing that much energy and not feeling something for that person. I understand that I can only speak for myself.

I think that loving freely, without attachments, is the way all relationships should be. Paid for or otherwise. It is my belief that the attachments are what cause grief and pain in relationships.

There are several women here that I have met, in person or not, that I have love for. I am not concerned if it is mutual or if I get anything out of it. It is what it is.

You are right that it is what it is, and to me that means that it can only (be allowed to) go so far, but that doesn't detract from what IS (pleasurable, good company, closeness, friendship)..in the meantime.

I totally agree with what you said.  There are a few people who have touched me in this business and I treasure them dearly as friends.  I not only enjoy seeing them but keeping in regular touch with them.  Friendships that I want to continue long after I may leave the hobby.

Certainly this business can be more than just business; especially when you meet a true friend.

Ken

At least the ears give me something to hold onto. 16 inches plush. Humm....

...on what this is all about I read through this kind of thread.
I wish I could say that I never waver, that I truly understand the nature of the relationship and keep everything in perspective.
The fact of the matter is I do waver at times, heck there are times when I feel as if I am all over the map with respect to my activity in this community.

Personally, I think as a group, providers are better at not blurring the lines between the business and their personal lives. Of course many of the guys here do not hesitate to inform others of us that we shouldn't be naive about what this is all about. The clear implication is that they understand the nature of the interaction between provider and client explicitly and never venture across that line into some sort of emotional attachment. Those who are able to approach this in that way probably get out of this just what they are looking for with little if any negative consequences.

I have a tendency to look for a little something more than the mere physical. My intent is not to devalue the physical experience in any way--it can be, and has been, quite enjoyable in my own limited experience. The intimacy of the interaction makes this activity quite unlike any other business transaction. It is that intimate nature that makes it somewhat difficult to remain completely emotionally detached despite the inherent wisdom that many find in such detachment.

I like the idea of a regular because it permits me to get to know her somewhat on a deeper level or at least I seem to be able to convince myself of such. It also eliminates some of the uncertainty, at perhaps the expense of variety that seems to be sought by some. Even in the civilian world I was always one to date just one woman. I seem to carry that over to this activity despite the lack of logic that many would see in that approach.

I have been fortunate to spend a little time (far too little) in social (non sexual) activities and that seems to enhance the experience for me when we see each other again in the client/provider relationship. I realize there is something of a balancing act in all of this.

Being a regular is a personal preference for me. I would find it difficult to pursue this solely for the immediate physical gratification no matter how hot. That is just the way I am wired despite the fact that like most men I am able to derive intense physical gratification from sex without any real emotional attachment.

I simply like to establish a bit more of a connection with a provider and occasionaly spend a little time together outside of the business. It works for me, at least so far.


-- Modified on 4/21/2004 11:20:02 AM

appears to be rather objective and straightforward. You didn’t seem to sugarcoat or be overly concerned that your candid comments would have a negative impact with your future marketing and sales. When most ladies in this segment of the adult entertainment business state their opinions, it comes across to me that their words seem to be measured rather carefully so as to have a minimal effect on their livelihood; whereas your observations seemed unrestrained and without the influence of such economic considerations.

At least in this particular situation, I am in total agreement with you. Your reflections about relationships go much deeper than your brief words would otherwise indicate. Your perspective on this 'hobby' (or is it a career) and the potential ramifications it could have on the uninitiated was both bold and believable.

I am in only partial agreement with your final thoughtful statement. Although my involvement with commercial sex played no role in defining out who I am (I determined that quite sometime ago), it has allowed me to value my partner that much more. By benchmarking various commercial companions’ technical abilities (fellatio in particular) it has only further reinforced the appreciation I have for my partner in this area of our relationship.

Thank you again for giving this message board a much needed touch of reality.

everyone has to keep some sort of perspective on the situation. I have known a few that have gone on to marry their ATFs, but that's few and far inbetween.  I always try to keep the provider/hobbyist relationship close to my heart but far enough to realize that it is just a passionate moment between two souls looking for love/lust.

Hugs,
Ciara

The primary reason I began in this hobby (about 4yrs ago after a period of time after my divorce) was specifically to avoid the continual strings & expectations encountered so often in 'civilian' dating.

After about a year or so of being like a kid in a candy store, I met a truly exceptional gal & shortly thereafter a real friendship started to form...one which has continued to grow stronger over time.  Emotional attachment?  Absolutely!  I love her dearly, but not in an obsessive/possesive way...& not simply because the sex is so good.  The feelings I have for her are because of the person she is inside...without question she possesses an inner beauty & warmth that only a few women I've ever known can match.  

We share a great deal about our lives & ourselves with each other.  When she's happy, I'm happy for her.  If she has any problems or concerns I'm always there to listen & help in any  way I'm able. This is exactly what the relationship between true friends is like...maybe a bit unique in this biz, but not all that complicated unless someone makes it that way. It has everything to do with the two individuals involved & being realistic.

A good friend is hard to come by, and more important than any hobby. There will always be other guys/girls but you can never replace a true friend.

When you keep coming back  some seem to think they can get away with less.

Have had that experience first hand.

Repeatedly have 2 hour appointments over a long period and she puts less effort into it than a first timer with a one hour appt.

I kept coming back because I genuinely liked her.  Loyalty gets paid back with no discounts and less than full attention during the session.

I am sure most don't do that.

Or I hope anyway.


-- Modified on 4/21/2004 11:46:32 AM

Ms. Heather Barron -that is one of the most insightful and thoughtful posts I've ever read.  Thank you.

I was totally cool with the Massage scene.  It was a service.

Then I struck up a web chat friendship with two ladies here.  One has stayed chatty-  but then time and space keep preventing me from going to see her.  NetM on the other hand did get me to come over...

You know what happened, as I posted a review.  For about two weeks I was totally messed up with emotional thoughts leaking into my carnal exctasy...  I think the pure sex meetings may not be for me, enjoyable and mind-blowing as that was....

But I did resolve to see the other lady- bending the continuum if I have to ... so I guess I'm just a stupid asshole (why does it feel good to say it -and bad when bribri doesit?)....

"Don't let it get you down-- It's only castles burnin'"

Oh, if you think that is brutally beautiful, you should see my "You need to stop seeing escorts and move on with your life into regular relationships."

I have cut off many a client (usually a single guy) because I felt he deserved a real relationship and I felt guilty taking his money. I had a feeling that if I said goodbye, in a few years he might end up happily married or girlfriended and he would never forget who pushed him back into life.

And if his real relationships didn't work out, sure, he'd come back around to see me again and I will see him -- they are better off for having tried to find love vs. settled for simply passion.

People remember the things you do so you have to think for the big picture of what they could obtain with a little work. At best, this hobby is temporary for many guys, a bridge back to setting themselves up for hurt, humiliation, pain, disappointment and that once in a lifetime feeling when someone truly feels for you what you feel for that. You can't buy that.

For the most part, most of my longtime regular clients are married and love their wives deeply. I am just a missing piece and I'm real happy being that piece.  My ideal client is smart, married, fun loving and affectionate. I have seen many a successful marriage with mistress on the side. But that's not to say all married guys should see escorts. I've been at this long enough to see which ones are happily married and can use this hobby in perspective to complete their lives and which ones are using the hobby to help them leave.

But always remember escorts are just people. We are no different than you are simply because we are on the receiving end...or are we on the giving end? I guess it depends how you look at it. Any women who could become an escort. Any escort could leave the business and once again become a "real woman". The best way to look at the women on the other side of the door is to look at her as if is just a human being.

And people wonder why I continue to be infatuated with HBXxxxxxxx...

Love them thinkin' ladies....

Sully
Not a stalker- a piner...or was that jones?

Outstanding post, Ms. HB.  Echoes much of what I have said on here for the past year.  Also ralates to the "The value provided" thread above.

-- Modified on 4/21/2004 5:33:09 PM

Twice I have become a devoted regular.  In each case, as the lady finished school and began a real career,  I hung on as the only client.  These ladies developed into mistresses (money was always an unspoken issue) that I could travel with, hang out with, remember birthdays and feel love for.  Each of these situations lasted over 5 years.  Such liasons were not state-sanctiond or too frequent and so eroticim was maintained.  I survived beyond several official boyfriends that each had.

Overall the experience was so rewarding that I suppose I'm always trawling to develop a regular client relationship which may become a springboard for a brand new mistress.

I really have nothing to add here other than to say I have good reason to be reading this thread and found something in almost every post that I could relate to and learn from. This aspect of the TER community is very enlightening for me.

Okay let the flames begin. I just cant resist a good set up line sometimes. This is actually part of a blonde joke.

I like the last sentence of this post.

Hello, this is my first time posting, and I think I've worked myself into a corner here.

It had been a very long time (several years) since I'd bee nw/a woman. Decided to see what's what here. After some research, went with one of the tantric massage women in nyc.

Now I'd done this way in the past, and it was simply about getting some pipes cleaned. But this time, I was overwhelmed. Through the session, as we talked, I found her to be a very impressive womanm what with the other things going on in her life.

By the end of a week, I had visited 3 times. Luckily, I had an awesome tax refund. We got to know each other more, and on the third time she invited me over early and I was asked to bring wine.

She gave me a small gift since she was leaving town for her other pursuits soon. although I had every intention of paying still (which I did) I was definitley smitten by this point.

So now I'm caught up in some obsessive/unmanageable feelings. Confused, what's real, really lonely now, ashamed of my feelings, I need a life, stuff like that. And no, although we talked of staying in touch while she was away, I haven't heard from her yet after emailing. I know I can get intense with women, and I know I don'treturn calls too to gals.

I'm just having a tough time and it helps to write. Feel free to bust my chops.