I have spent countless hours and untold sums of money regarding this hobby (with Providers and with a Therapist).  And I have come to this conclusion....  What I do is morally reprehensible but mentally necessary.  

Some of you do this for the money.   Some do it because you want to fulfill the fantasy of being with a conventionally attractive women.  I do this because I can't imagine not doing it.  At this point I am not sure it is even for the sex or for the conventional attractiveness of the woman (I once had sex with a 400lb woman just because I couldn't imagine NOT doing it - that was a freebie by the way which occurred back in the mid 90s on those old telephone hookup lines but that's another story for another time  Another time I paid a Provider $1,000 for a blowjob (with some extra kinky stuff thrown in)  and you know what it was THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE!!  

Anyway,  I have spent a lot of time thinking about this community and this life.  And I have come to a certain conclusion.  Some of us don't fit we are the outliers!!!!  

I get a rush driving to a hotel to meet a woman I have never met before to do really weird things to and for.   Things that the average hobbyist would not dare think of doing and the average provider would not allow.  When you are in it JUST for the money I am not sure you would understand that mentality.  When you just want to F--- a pretty woman then no words can express my desire.  

It is sincerely about the experience and NOT that fake Bullshit that some providers post on their websites about your time with me will be enjoyable, etc., blah, blah, blah.  How many of you still think about encounters you had over a year ago and think damn I could have been better?  You don't unless you are an outlier.  

What is the point in this post you ask?  I intentionally took a break from TER to explore this life from a holistic perspective and not be biased with posts and reviews.  And here is what I discovered.  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  Ok.  

For the outlier the life continues before and after TER.  If there were no way to read reviews on a lady.  Guess what I would still risk it because I HAVE TO. Would you as a hobbyist do that?  I have a lot to lose (wife, kids, house - which is probably upside down but whatever).  The outlier does it because he has to no questions and no bullshit excuses.

That is probably enough for now.  I am preparing for a session next week with a visiting provider who likes rimming (giving and receiving).  So I am reviewing lots of porn and looking for "unique" techniques for inserting my tongue in that special place.

Discuss amongst yourselves please