For me, if I want hot sex with a sexy woman, I have my SO.  I look to this world for the occasional pick-me-up, where i get to be feted.  Massage and bbbjtcim if possible.  Don't get that at home...

If i can be part of her entertainment- cool, but I don't lose sleep...

I most often use the word "date." Just an observation.

Having said that, I would say that I’m somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. I can go either way - depends on who I am seeing and what I perceive her mood to be for the evening.

I hesitate to use the word romantic.  I don't think of myself as romantic.  But I always try to be friendly and pleasant.  And if the lady I am with really does like sex and she's honestly able to physically enjoy the session that's double great for me.  I'd like nothing more than to meet a lady who honestly and truly loves sex and be able to be part of her having an orgasm or two or three during our session along with some pleasant conversation.  Yes I am having my own sexual relief, but its much more enjoyable if the lady is enjoys it, and we can have a little conversation during our time.

I couldn't use the word romantic.  That makes me think of an exclusively-tied-down-to-one-woman type of relationship.  It makes me think I have to read her mind and bring her just the right kind of unique gift that we both knew without speaking because our "hearts" and "souls" were connected in some magical way.  blaaa...  I don't claim my thoughts as the definition of romantic.  It's simply what I personally think of when I hear the word.  Maybe I more prefer the friends-with-benefits experience.  How about a FWBE?  Perhaps it's just a different term for the same thing.

Its interesting to observe both sides in the responses to this question.  I think we all are looking for something different in a "session".  For some its sex, pure and simple.  For some its the entire experience.  I don't think either is good or bad.  The hobbyist who looks for more out of a session is probably trying to replace more than missing sex in his other realtionship.  I enjoy giving as much as getting and for the most part, I have not found a provider who does not like to receive.  Most of the providors I have discussed the subject with tell me that one of the reasons they are in the business is because they enjoy sex, so would it not be better for them if they received some pleasure as well as give it.  The last two hour session I had with my ATF, she had seven "O"s.  It was the best session I have ever had with her.

I'm in it for the fantasy....

1.  Being able to succeed to "score" with someone Major League when I might be able to achieve AA or AAA on a good day.. (this sounds shallow but it is part of the motivation)

2.  Being able to be somewhat selfish and tell someone what we want and expect to get it.

3.  There are rules, but the rules are often MUCH less stringent than any rules that a SO would impose...

4.  The thrill of the forbidden in that what we are doing is considered illegal by many, but my inner Hemingway pushes through the fear in search of the adventure.

5.  As I was married at a real young age (and had been dating my SO for 75% of my college years), I never got to sow my wild oats and I'm making up for lost time.

6.  I love beautiful, intelligent, horny (or pretending to be horny) women. There aren't that many in the real world that I would have access to and this hobby enables me to be a "playa" and live like Hugh Hefner for a short period of time.  The variety is intoxicating as well (Preppy, Goth, Fiery, Romantic, Aggresive, Submissive, Porn Star, Girl Next Door, or that unusual quality that draws you to them).

7.  And finally, I genuinely enjoy their company.  Getting to learn about someone AFTER has just rocked your world is as much fun as the act itself.  Especially when they are curled up and wrapped around you.

You are pursuing a fantasy that could never be true. The ladies are in it for the money, and you pay to get off. Wake up man!!!!