Overall, the suggestions you are getting are accurate. I had the same concerns when I started to 'hobby', and I overcame them by going to an overseas country that was more hospitable. I have since found the best ways of navigating the states in pursuit of fun.
I recently initiated a friend to the hobby. The following rules should apply (IMHO-In My Humble Opinion):
1) Find a positively reviewed independant provider with a website, one who has reviews in several sites like this, TBD, and a-report dating back several months.The reviews are a good guide to know what to expect, and what the cost is, without having to speak in Farsi code to the provider. One review wont cut it.You're rest assured of 99.9999% legitimacy and accuracy with around three plus reviews, seven reviews and you have plenty of data. If le (law enforcement) were to create an undercover site, one catch and the word is out to all, and creating and maintaining a website isn't typical for le. Avoid agencies at all costs. Some are good, but oh, those rotten apples are bad news.
2) Don't use your direct questions to put her in a bad position. Respect that these wonderful woman who we have been fortunate to meet, have the same concerns about you. Read some do's, dont's through the link that was referenced. The envelope is good. Not speaking in too much detail at first during your first few discussions and initial moments of meeting with a provider is a good idea. Once things are rolling (she feels comfortable), and she knows its cool, then ask about her rules.
3) Let her know its your first time. A good, experienced independant provider will become like your dentist, physician, analyst, friend within a few minutes. If you found someone with good consistent reviews that you like, you will see the mastery of their charm and warmth.
4) Make her feel safe, always. Following rule one will take care of your greatest fear. Respect their fear. These woman extend themselves further than anyone you will ever meet, and take some risks. Respect that, respect their rules (you can always change providers, or they can sometimes warm to you at a later meeting),
respect their need for information.
5) Give her the information she needs. If you read spy novels, you will remember that anyone who does something to support an illegal cause has no court to turn to. Information is the insurance policy of fair play in the trade. Providing honest information builds trust. You have better chance of a sick ex wife/girlfriend stalking you then a provider. She just needs to know who you are ( and lets a friend have that info while you meet her until she returns safely) for her protection. Later on, it will be like seeing your old friend again.
6) Find one you like, keep seeing her, and watch the meetings become better and better.
7) Go for it. I now kick myself at the opportunities I passed by by not getting into the hobby sooner. But I'm making up for it : )
Cheers
Hello I posted the following message yesterday under a different thread, so I wanted to re-post this by itself. I am just assuming more of you out there will see it this way, and I can get some much needed advice.
I have not approached a "provider" as of yet, because I am too afraid of being arrested. I just read this post(the one below about attorney's) and I thought maybe levendi, or someone else out there, might be able to answer some questions.
First, it seems as if there is no way that people can post comments on here about these ladies, and not be getting caught? I mean I would like to meet some of these women and have some enjoyment, but it almost seems to good to be true. This leads to my most important question, which is how do you go about meeting someone and not get caught? Like what steps should a person take, what should someone say, or not say, and are there any ways to tell if you are being set up? Obviously you don't ask questions about sex and need to be cautious, but aren't there ways to protect yourself better? In the reply below it sounds as if you are going to be charged with something whether things fall through or not. Well I hope someone of the experts out there might give me some advice. Peace, Mymouse.
First of all, did you take the time to read the guide for beginners that was given to you in the other thread you started?
http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/ViewMsgBody.asp?BoardID=12&Messageid=16002
Do you have any specific comments or questions about it?
And think about this -- The cops read this board too, so don't expect any "secret" information here.
Aside from reading newbie guides (check at http://www.bigdoggie.net/ and here at TER) I would suggest a few things for your first experience.
In terms of remaining in the good graces of law enforcement, there IS no guarantee. We are all consentually engaging in behaviors that are tolerated and/or overlooked and/or ignored and/or not noticed by law enforcement. If you want a truly guaranteed-legal experience, you must travel to Amsterdam, for example, or Bangkok, or Tijuana. Each has its advantages and disadvantages ... cleanliness comes to mind. And safety.
If, on the other hand, you can relax enough, you might begin to view (as do many members of this hobby, on both sides of the gender coin) this behavior as a victimless act. It's not like speeding, where ya know that everybody knows that everybody is "really" allowed to go 10 MPH over the speed limit, so everybody does it and the cops only stop those people who do 20 MPH over the limit. Rather, it's like sodomy in Arkansas -- technically against the law, but doing it doesn't actually risk hurting ANYONE. (As long as you aren't over-endowed, that is ... heh.) So, there are some similarities to the speeding metaphor -- do whatever the cops aren't arresting. But there are some differences too -- speeding, even if you DON'T get caught, risks hurting someone. At least with providers, you've got the moral high ground.
Now, all that having been said, there are some ways to be reasonably sure that you won't run into trouble with the law. The best way, is to go with a reputed provider in a major urban area. She needs to have been reviewed several times here, by people who have posted several reviews of other providers, over a significant period of time. She needs to be someone who seems to know her way around the business -- either a provider who has been involved in escorting for several years, or one who works for an agency that is well-reputed. And when you're looking these things up, don't rely solely on TER. There are other escort-review sites out there. A good rule for any form of research, is to try to corroborate your information with several sources.
After you've picked who you're going to get involved with, go ahead and try getting to know her in advance. Be up-front about the idea that you haven't seen a provider before. Some ladies might even go so far as to offer a "free" or low-cost luncheon date, to get to know you. It's part of their job, to allay your fears. They know that, and they know how to put you at your ease, better than you might think. It's always a negotiation situation -- if you ask for something, they'll know you want it, and therefore you'll have to pay for it. So if you feel you need something that will convince them to go easy on you, suggest that you'll be looking to establishing a regular relationship with a provider, and since you're new to the scene, it's likely you'll want to meet only a few new women before picking the one you'll be sticking with. That will give the ladies sufficient incentive to wish to behave in a manner that allays your fears, and makes it possible for you and they to click.
Don't forget, that they can't possibly give you what you want, without you telling them. This is unfortunate, considering that if you tell them, then you're guilty of requesting an exchange of sex for money, which is the illegal part. So, there's a strange dance that goes on, between a customer and a good provider. You want something, and you can only guarantee getting it after you've sort of got the money concerns out of the way. With some of the really great women I've seen, they ask that I just leave the money in a plain envelope in plain sight, and she'll pick that up on her way out. Then, we chat, and somehow we hit it off (she's always been good at convincing me of that fact) and, as the clothes are flying to the four winds, THEN we can be verbally more explicit, once the act is begun.
Well, those are some of my thoughts. If you're in a major city, find some of the reviewers here and e-mail them for recommendations, as to who in your area would be a good provider for your first enjoyment of pay-for-play. Some providers "get" the concept of initiating a newbie, some don't. Many of the newer providers haven't 100% wrapped their head around the idea, that the payment in many ways puts the onus on the woman to provide stimulation for the man. They go into the profession with the mistaken assumption that it's just, getting paid to go out on a date. Sure, TECHNICALLY, that might be true, but for most men, that's not actually what we'd LIKE to end up with, and for your first time it would be wise to avoid one of those women.
Without making this a long reply, there are some very simple things to consider in order to have a hassle free experience.
1. RELAX - the odds of getting busted are virtually non-existant, if you....
2. Avoid street walkers. While the price may be attractive, this is the most hit or miss segment of this hobby, and the one that is most often set up as sting operations by Law Enforcement.
3. You're obviously a member of TER.... use it to find a lady that appeals to your particular likes and desires. Find a lady that meets your standards for looks, performance (kissing, uncovered oral, etc.), then read the reviews to see if she delivers on her promises consistantly.
That's it in a nutshell. Now make sure to post a review after your first experience!
I appreciate Book_guy and Fasteddie51's help, but I didn't think linkmeister's comments were very cool. I also have no idea what 2sense was taking about, but at least he didn't try and slam me for no reason. I thanks you guys who took the time to write something that will help me. Late, Mymouse
In the immortal words of Aldous Huxley, "...You pays your money and you takes your choice..."
Seriously, we human males have a lot better deal than the Australian red back spider male, who does a back flip into the mouth of the (much larger) female. As he's depositing his sperm, the female typically makes a meal of him. The guess is that his protein helps to insure the survival of the progeny.
As indicated in the other responses, you've got to get a better grip on your risk assessments. If you listen too much to the "news-de-jour", Bin-Laden is either going to nuke us, anthrax us, small-pox us, etc., all before noon. Maybe things would go better for all of us if we just got laid.
It is really quite easy. Find an established provider on TER. Call her. Without being too specific, discuss cost and ask if that is all inclusive. Once there, put the fee on a table/bar/counter without mentioning it. No illegal solicitation has occured. I usually put the fee in a plain envelope, place it on a table, excuse myself to wash up, and leave for a minute or two. Sometimes, if I need to get her attention, I may put the envelope on the table and say something like "I think somebody may have dropped this outside. I'll just put it here (and then go wash up).
Overall, the suggestions you are getting are accurate. I had the same concerns when I started to 'hobby', and I overcame them by going to an overseas country that was more hospitable. I have since found the best ways of navigating the states in pursuit of fun.
I recently initiated a friend to the hobby. The following rules should apply (IMHO-In My Humble Opinion):
1) Find a positively reviewed independant provider with a website, one who has reviews in several sites like this, TBD, and a-report dating back several months.The reviews are a good guide to know what to expect, and what the cost is, without having to speak in Farsi code to the provider. One review wont cut it.You're rest assured of 99.9999% legitimacy and accuracy with around three plus reviews, seven reviews and you have plenty of data. If le (law enforcement) were to create an undercover site, one catch and the word is out to all, and creating and maintaining a website isn't typical for le. Avoid agencies at all costs. Some are good, but oh, those rotten apples are bad news.
2) Don't use your direct questions to put her in a bad position. Respect that these wonderful woman who we have been fortunate to meet, have the same concerns about you. Read some do's, dont's through the link that was referenced. The envelope is good. Not speaking in too much detail at first during your first few discussions and initial moments of meeting with a provider is a good idea. Once things are rolling (she feels comfortable), and she knows its cool, then ask about her rules.
3) Let her know its your first time. A good, experienced independant provider will become like your dentist, physician, analyst, friend within a few minutes. If you found someone with good consistent reviews that you like, you will see the mastery of their charm and warmth.
4) Make her feel safe, always. Following rule one will take care of your greatest fear. Respect their fear. These woman extend themselves further than anyone you will ever meet, and take some risks. Respect that, respect their rules (you can always change providers, or they can sometimes warm to you at a later meeting),
respect their need for information.
5) Give her the information she needs. If you read spy novels, you will remember that anyone who does something to support an illegal cause has no court to turn to. Information is the insurance policy of fair play in the trade. Providing honest information builds trust. You have better chance of a sick ex wife/girlfriend stalking you then a provider. She just needs to know who you are ( and lets a friend have that info while you meet her until she returns safely) for her protection. Later on, it will be like seeing your old friend again.
6) Find one you like, keep seeing her, and watch the meetings become better and better.
7) Go for it. I now kick myself at the opportunities I passed by by not getting into the hobby sooner. But I'm making up for it : )
Cheers