I had an experience with a new provider yesterday.  My ATF was unavailable for a few weeks so I decided to try someone new.

She was well reviewed and the person in the pics.  She was very sexy.  She was trying to do her best.  We just did not click.  

Who can say why?  We missed on the connection level.  After about 30 minutes of disinterested sexual play, with little heat on either side, I almost said it is time for me to go, (I had told her I was interested in her normal 2 hour appointment.)  

Since I knew she was trying I stayed, which turned out to be a bad idea.  We both did finish but I felt so put off by the whole thing I think I lost interest in sex for some time.

I guess the moral is to try to schedule shorter appointments with someone you have not met before.

I guess the question of the day is, have you ever just said this is not working and left?

I have left early on occasions similar to yours.  It sounds like there wasn't anything wrong with the service she provided other than you 2 simply didn't click.  Doesn't that even happen on real dates sometimes, perhaps as often as not?

I have left as early as half way into a session if I felt as you described.  I tell the provider that it simply isn't working for me, and it's really nobody's fault as this just happens.  Any quality provider, I am sure, will have had similar experiences many times over.

Just to answer those guys who will ask about refunds for unused time:  I have never asked for money back under the circumstances, and I'm not sure if it's appropriate to do so.

I do know of a provider (and I am sure she's not the only one) that will actually meet prospective new clients for a drink or a meal beforehand, without compensation, to determine compatiblity, on either side.  This is a wonderful gesture, but I'm not certain it would apply just for a 1 hour session or in certain markets in this country.

I have also seen ads where providers offer a money-back deal if within the first 10-15 minutes you believe the session won't go well you can opt out with a modest donation to cover her costs.  Also a great ides, but I have never met any of these providers.

I had a date with a provider on Wednesday this week.  I had never met her before and only saw a very bad photgraph (she was a recommendation from another hobbyist).  We met at a motel at the appointed time, and she insisted we spend some time in her car talking a bit to determine "compatability".  It was a 2 hour session and she extended to more than cover for the "car" time.



-- Modified on 2/7/2003 1:57:42 PM

Generally my rule of thumb is if I don't feel it's going well right at the beginning of the session I'll politely beg off and split.  I haven't ever asked for money back once I've been in a session for a short time and things aren't clicking. I have on occasion suggested that a rate change for time spent may be appropriate. This has only happened to me a couple of times.

I'm a big believer in my own physical red flags. Hair on the back of your neck standing up, sick stomach, etc. When I was younger I worked in the personal security business and I learned in tight situations to heed what my body is trying to tell me. It really helped keep my clients out of harms way more than once.

if A, it isn't clicking because it isn't clicking, or B, the good old gut siren is going off, I bail out. This is not some character building experience, spinach eating, or endurance contest. It's vitally important recreation. If we're partway into one hour, I pay for the hour. If the girl is in any way druggy or intoxicated, over and out. Whining, hustling, getting manipulative and suchlike will tend to bring the proceedings to an abrupt close. Life is too short to spend your free time being miserable, or being made miserable.

What do you do when you are having a real good time and it is past the agreed upon time? I am not sure if I should just end it because I want to be respectful or continue to play since we are both having fun, but then should I offer to pay more for the extra time I took? But that could be intepreted as being offensive? Fortunately I have not run into this too often, but I was wondering from both hobbyist and providers perspective, what is the proper etiquette from the client. I always try to be sensitive to the time on the clock out of respect. But you can get carried away and lose track of time??

When we're having a great time and we're past the time allotment I'll say "Wow, look at the time, I had no idea!!" then "I better go because I don't want to be THING THAT WOULDN'T LEAVE!!" and then I hit them with the sad, puppy eyes!

This has happened to me on some occasions.  I found it fairly easy to handle because for the most part it has happened with, IMHO, very high quality providers.  I have never been asked for more $$ because the session ran over.  Be that as it may, in most instances I have offered more in tip form to show my appreciation.

I love providers that don't watch the clock.  Not that I walk in expecting 3 hours for a 2 hour fee, but finishing in 2 hours and 10 minutes without her looking at her watch is a nice touch.

-- Modified on 2/8/2003 5:30:46 AM

My own thoughts on this may be a bit different as almost all my encounters are outcall, either at my home or a hotel of my choosing.  Consequently I don't have to be as concerned about over-staying the time.  

When I first began in this hobby there were a couple of times when I had paid for X because my body-clock told me X had probably arrived, I pointed out the time.  In truth that may have been as much because I didn't want more $ than I had bargained for to be expected as much as I didn't want to be guilty of pushing anything.  After being told each time not to worry about it, I guess my thinking now is that I'll leave watching the time up to the gal--but as I mentioned, the fact that it's outcall makes a difference.  Also the vast majority of the extra time is just talking, etc as opposed to additional bedroom acrobatics.

But aside from an occasional new encounter, the only ladies I see are those with whom there is also a connection beyond the physical aspects...which I'm sure also makes a great difference.

usually I try to keep track of the clock myself because I do not want to take advantage of the girl. When I see it's time, I ler her know, and then it's up to her. I am happy that some girls are in no hurry to leave. However it has happened once during an outcall and the place was really dark, I lost track of time completely and did not even think about it, because I was having a great time. When I was at the door, I glanced at my watch and was shocked to discover we had gone over the 2 hours by half an hour. I was reallly embarrassed and told the girl so, but she just laughed and told me she was having a good time too. I only had 20 bucks on me and felt that giving her so little extra would be insulting, so I apopogized and left if at that. But since then I always bring more cash on outcalls, just in case.

I've vetoed it as a possibilty, and will probably never do it.  But I'm curious to learn more about your thoughts and experiences.  Even if you trust her, how do you her situation will not change and she will not do something out of character for her?  I would worry, for example, that she could fall in with a new "bad guy" boyfriend.

So far (knock on wood, I guess) there have been none.  Not that I'm foolish enough to think there never could be, such as your example of the new bad-guy boyfriend..but like driving your car, everything has some degree of risk.  I try to 'select' well, just as I use my seat belt.  

But the way I look at it in terms of risk is that I feel there's actually less chance, not more.  I'm not going to have my vehicle vandalized or stolen, I'm not going to be walking into an unknown location where the chance of my encountering the bad-guy boyfriend is maybe even greater, not going to run the chance of getting busted by LE because neighbors have complained & put the cops of alert due to all the foot traffic, etc etc.  

I happen to live in a detached home on a cul-du-sac in a quiet neighborhood.  I don't usually spend long hours away (ie: long business trips) & when I am gone there are a few neighbors who are almost always home & everyone keeps a pretty good eye out for each other.  If I WAS home & trouble happened, chances are real good I wouldn't be the one with the biggest problem.  But I've lived here quite so time & there has never been a burglary or vandalism on my street in all that time.  

But that's strictly my own situation & if it were not exactly as it is I might well feel differently.

It sounds like you have thought it through, and are as safe as anyone could be doing it.  I agree with you in general about risks - we can only minimize risk to a level we are comfortable with in life, and never completely eliminate it.  I don't think I'll be doing this(different situation than yours, I've already been burglarized once), but thanks for the info.

Interesting thread. While I've never up and left, once in Amsterdam I spotted a beauty in one of the windows, went up and in, and found there was as a second girl, so I opted for a threesome. So in we all went, and financial arrangments were made. Within minutes, I was regretting my decision. The 2nd girl was so uptight, manipulative, and strange that the session immediately turned uncomfortable.

After a few more minutes of this (while I was lying down getting a massage from girl #1), I realized it wasn't going to work, and I simply told girl #2 she was free to go. She did, thank god.

I then proceeded to have a very sweet, sensual session with girl #1, who agreed with me that #2, who she really didn't know, was a head case.  In the end she said - "it just goes to show you we all aren't the same!"

I guess in this case it was nice to have a 2nd option ;-D, but seriously, if it ain't working, it ain't, and bailing out is really OK. After all, it's a business.