Had an interesting situation recently. I arrived at my provider's location --after a long time of planning this appointment with an out-of-town woman --and when I got to her hotel room --late evening -- the provider was as beautiful and sexy as advertised --a definite 10 --but stinking drunk and was yawning. Sensing this, I asked if she was hungry and that if I was her last appointment, would she like to go get some food first (figured that would sober her up). She mentioned that she still had another appointment.
A few more pertinent details. Yes, we were able to complete the deed, but it was like playing with a doll --not that I have any real experience or not that that's a bad thing (isn't that what they used to say in Seinfeld).
I had to take charge and she was clearly just going through the motions. I'm not going to name names. But the issues is one I feel is worth a healthy discussion.
We did "have fun" but it was not what I was hoping for. Now, I'm not one to go in with high expectations, but I left disappointed.
Not sure about several things:
1. Should I just write this off as a our-only-time ever meeting?
2. Should I write a review?
3. Should i try and talk to her about this when she's sober?
4. Ladies: is there a good way to handle this?
5. Should I have walked away and tried to reschedule?
6. Will she even remember this at all?
7. Assuming she does, what should I say if she calls me?

I've heard about the same situation when someone is coked up and I have been with a provider who fell asleep on me. But she ended up spending the night sleeping and we more than made up for things the next morning.

Sound advice requested.
Rick2

Rick2:
Tough call for you.  I have had a similar experience
and I went through the same "quest" to "do what's right".
I actually did talk with the lady about it, she did remember,
I have seen her since, and she continues to over-compensate for her initial performance (or lack thereof).
I think the fact that I was willing to write it off as
a "bad day" helped her get past this and we can now joke
about this when I do see her or she calls to simply chat.
I'm not going to say this will work in all situations, I am
merely throwing my 2 cents and my experience into the blender.
Hopefully some other hobbyists will share theirs as well.
In the end, trust your gut, it's what keeps us safe!
Regards
Lustman

I had a recent experience where both of us got drunk, and it was a BLAST !! One of my most memorable experiences

Talk to her about it.  If she suggests that you see each other again, do it.  Maybe she'll over compensate.  If she blows you off, or otherwise says "tough", then write a review about the first experience.  If you see her again, write a review on the second experience with an appropriate reference to the first.

$.02, keep the change.

T007

Had a similar situation with a girl that went on to become one of my long-term favorites.  The first time we met she was nearly two hours late, but I was so attracted to her I overlooked it and we still had a good time.  The second time she came over I had high hopes for our session, but she apparently was up most of the previous night and couldn't stay awake.  I literally had to carry her to bed because there was no way she could drive home and she slept for 12 hours straight.  We never even did anything that night.  Despite this shakey start, we went on to become great friends and I saw her for over three years.

The difference was, in my case, the girl was local and I had reason to give her a second chance.  In your case an out-of-town date makes it imperative that the provider be ready and able to deliver at the time of your appointment because she's not in a position to make it up to you after she leaves town.  Most likely she had time to kill in between appointments and hit the mini-bar a little too hard.  Not very professional, but it could happen especially on an empty stomach.

How you ultimately handle it depends on whether you'd like to see her again in my opinion.  After the fact, you don't have much recourse re. the session that already happened.  If you'd like to see her again, I'd tactfully bring up the subject and see how she responds.  If she wasn't apologetic, she may not even realize how bad she was, or she just doesn't care.  You'll have to decide.  If you don't want to see her again, I'd write an objective review.   Perhaps read the other reviews to get an idea if this sort of thing has ever happened before.  

Some of these women are so thin to start with, and then don't eat much when they're working so they'll have a nice flat stomach and look sexy when you see them.  A couple hours in-between appointments, alone and bored and you can see how it could happen.  You'll just have to decide whether it was an accident or simply unprofessional behavior, and then act accordingly.

Those who drink themselves can probably overlook it. Those who don't drink, smoke and value life in general too much to do either, both and other, view all that behaviour as pointless, immoral and destructive. If you need to mix substances with sex, then you shouldn't be fucking in the first place.

HB

Truly right on.
If it ain't fun, it ain't worth doing.
Drunk rag doll sex with a semi-willing partner... Does it get any better than that? Oh Yeah!

I love Sublime's song "Date Rape...." But of course it ain't the same.

-- Modified on 11/26/2001 11:07:17 PM

Thanks for all of your thoughts. Still not sure what I'm going to do. But a useful thread. Guess we all have tough days, but at the high LA fees, my opportunities to see providers are now much more limited than they used to be. Now I have to determine if there is a better way to use the money.
Anyway, thanks for the insights.
Rick2

Drinking is immoral and destructive?  But being a whore is cool.  Now that says it all.

A cool book by Barbara Holland.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/006095647X/qid=996047834/sr=1-1/ref=sc_b_1/107-0667225-2032508

Not to mention it is VERY dangerous if you haven't met the man before.  So many different things can happen...of course alcohol dims your judgement...a girl can forget all of those little rules, safety nets that she knows like that back of her hand to avoid LE and problems...Just not a good idea.  FWIW  Monica

I'm not even going to go there!

Perhaps you might moderate your ire.

Rather than rant on about judgement...lemme lay a cliche or 2 out there.

Judge Not, Lest you yourself be Judged.

and...

If you live in a glass house....do not throw stones.

For all of your nonsense about a free lifestyle...I am surprised at your stance.  I call it nonsense because despite the facade.. you are acting like a southern baptist.

Ironic as that same attitude is why your profession is illicit even though it is openly recognized as the "oldest".

NOtice that I am calling no names, nor casting aspersions...simply pointing out that you are not being consistent.  If you have personal feelings based on experience towards substances..so be it.

For me - Moderation in all things has worked out just fine.  Never let my habits get out of hand. Never had a complaint.  Never been refused a return visit.

Have fun folks

Lookylooky

-I once thought that those of us participating in a "discouraged" area of human interaction would be a little less close minded about other peoples lifestyles.  I was obviously wrong.

I love this book!

An Editorial Review by Amazon:

First cigars and gin topped the list. Then red meat, Cadillacs, coffee with caffeine, and sleeping late all began to edge toward extinction. Barbara Holland makes an impassioned defense of life's little pleasures in a book that will entertain diehard sinners, comfort the secretly licentious, and encourage those who just need a little nudge to abandon jogging and no-fat salad dressing.

Perhaps you'd like a Cosmopolitan.  It's made with vodka, rather than gin, and has cranberry juice and some other stuff in it, which dilutes the alcohol.  It's sweet, refreshing, pretty pink, and it comes in a cocktail (martini) glass.  Half the fun of any martini for me is sipping from that glass.  And ask for some edible tidbits, such as crackers or nuts, so your stomach isn't empty.

Perhaps I'm being evil to encourage you down this path.  hehehe.  


-- Modified on 7/25/2001 10:49:19 AM

I, personally, don't like the taste of alcohol and that, for me, is reason enough not to drink it. If someone wants to drink or smoke that's up to them but I have a right to chose the people I hang out with; I prefer to spend time with those that value their health. My "profession" will help me buy my children a home and send them to good colleges. I don't see escorting or putting nude photos of myself on the internet as moral or immoral (if you want to judge me, go right ahead). It's my job of choice and my lifestyle of choice. The last time I checked we weren't living in a communist country.


HB

Lesson learned:  NEVER DRINK WITH A MARINE!  LOL


-- Modified on 7/25/2001 11:25:33 AM

>>-I once thought that those of us participating in a
>>"discouraged" area of human interaction would be a little less
>>close minded about other peoples lifestyles.  I was obviously
>>wrong.

I bet this is the only time you ever admitted to being wrong. LOL

I'm not sure what you mean by "close minded about other psople's lifestyles." Are you saying that sloppy drunk is a lifestyle?

-- Modified on 7/25/2001 12:25:47 PM

At the risk of contradicting my own post from above- we all know what we would do if the client arrived drunk (send him home).  I guess there's a lingering double standard that makes the issue more difficult when the roles are reversed.
This probably comes from men spending most of their early adult years trying to get women drunk as a prelude to getting them in bed.  Now the same guys are forced to look at it from the opposite point of view when they're on the clock!

Anyway, Liz, you're right, the only issue is second chance or no second chance IMO.

G2

That there are degrees with Alchohol Use as with anything else.  You are not either Dry or a Drunk.  I am sorry, but that is absurd.  There are always those that lack the self control and balance to incorporate intoxicants into their lives.  There are alot more folks wandering around in the grey area.

Too much alchohol is, in my mind very much in the same realm as any other substance or practice in the extreme.  To each their own.  Their is nothing "immoral" about it - just someone with a streak of Self-Destructiveness.  

To condemn an entire category of human activity based on hte realities of a FEW...well, it just seems that Temperance has no place in this forum.  If we were followers of that particular movement, we would not be participating here.

And as far as the 7 Deadly sins go....well when people start yapping on about morality, my mind immediately goes to the Judeo-Christian Roots of this country's moral structure.  If someone wants to use one piece of it to attack someone....and Heather's Comments were fairly antagonistic...then they should be measured by the same standards...

Where I grew up (The South) calling someone a Drunk was in the same category as "whore"...I try not to use either label.

Drawing that particular example is simply stating the extreme....useful to make a point, but for little else beyond that.

As for being wrong...Sh**, I wish I never had to admit being wrong.  I wish I was never wrong.  I also wish that my willie was 2 inches longer, I had more muscles, more hair, and of course...my own Harem.

None of those things is likely.  But I CAN keep trying out those neat swedish devices anyways  

(From the wrong side of the Right Coast)

LookyLooky

Hang in there LookyLooky; don't let these people grind you down (eom)

EOM

When we returned to my place, we drank some more wine and indulged in illicit sex.  Now, I'm going to draw a hot bath, adding some $35 a bottle bath oil, and luxuriously soak in it for twenty minutes or however long I fucking feel like it... with the phone ringer OFF.  Then, I'll probably treat myself to a Godiva chocolate and go to sleep under my down comforter NAKED and wake up sometime around 10am.

Life doesn't always have to be misery... and I was raised Catholic, too.

You say you do not see escorting as moral or immoral.  Well it has to be one or the other.  You say that drinking is "pointless, immoral and destructive" yet that is an accepted, legal pastime.  You don't seem to have a problem categorizing that, yet you duck the question when it comes to escorting and porn.

You say you prefer to spend time "with those that value their health."  Well, from some of your recent posts, it's clear that at least some of those don't value yours too much as one tried to choke you and rape you.

I don't drink or smoke, but I don't claim to be morally superior to those who do.

I do not have the capacity in me to Judge you dear.  Last time I checked my presence falls well short of divinity.  

I am also not in the practice of criticizing other people's life styles simply because they do not work for me.

Obviously we are very different.

LookyLooky

I am with you, Brother. Every step of the way. LOL

I took Ms. Barron's comment to be alcohol abuse and sex don't mix, etc, etc. My problems don't become your problems just because I wish it. I should not have any power or influence over your choices. Nor should you be forced to change your behavior because mine is unmanagable under the influence of intoxicants. Prohibition did not work. It did create a profitable "family" business or two. Just like anti-drug laws have done. Government legislated morality.... Yup! works every time.

I admire (and covet) those that can party in moderation. I never could. My problem.

-- Modified on 7/26/2001 2:44:01 PM

Tender lamb and bath salts and science fiction. Where the hell bere you guys when I was..... Oh yeah.... never mind.... I was drunk.... LOL

Many people look down upon those that work in casino's or the dreaded "liquor stores", that is "degrading" work. Both of those are legal area's of employment aren't they? For an adult.

 Those people love their children and want houses for them, and also may want a university education for them. I myself don't partake of alchohol or smoke, but they are legal, adult pastimes.

  But the question remains, who am I am to decide for another adult? Or to berate another for their choices?

            Respectfully,
                  Kate

Okay, maybe I go a little overboard with some things, but I work out at the gym four days a week, wear sunscreen, had cottage cheese for lunch and sushi and salad for dinner today, and always wear my seatbelt.  Tonight I'll take a bubble bath and put on my jammies, like a good girl.  

I'm just advocating indulging in a few guilty pleasures and not feeling guilty about it, and I'm railing against the contention that people who don't view drinking and smoking as immoral, don't value life in general.

From the preface of the book Endangered Pleasures:

    Now. . . we're left to wring joy from the absence of joy, from denial, from counting grams of fat, jogging, drinking only bottled water and eating only broccoli.  The rest of the time we work.  A recent study informs us that Americans in 1994 worked 158 hours, or roughly a month, longer than we did in 1974.
    This use of our days remains a mystery to countries where people like to loll around in the sunshine drinking vin rose and chatting with their friends, but then, those places have always been a mystery to us, too.

Endangered Pleasures: In Defense of Naps, Bacon, Martinis, Profanity, and Other Indulgences
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/006095647X/qid=996047834/sr=1-1/ref=sc_b_1/107-0667225-2032508

-- Modified on 7/27/2001 12:54:53 AM

to work fewer hours and take the entire month of August off because they're selling stupid Americans designer water for nearly $2 a liter (about four times the price of gasoline, in case anyone's counting).  

But I agree, sometimes you just have to take a moment to savor the chips and dip and not worry about every little thing the media dredges up to scare you with.  Both my grandmothers cooked using lard.  They only lived to be 97 and 93 years old.  

Go forth and sin some more.

(Yikes!  I feel guilty for making fun of those phrases.  I'd better go to confession.)

Nothing like a good nun joke.

BTW, I might as well do the full immersion thing in the baptismal.  It would be easier than trying to fit my bum in that little bitty holy water thingy we dip our fingers in.

If you need to mix substances with sex, then you shouldn't be fucking in the first place.

I so agree with this.  Sex is a million times more intense when you are sober.

I have seen several providers at a local AMP. Some on them are alittle drunk at times due to long hours of work. Alot of them either do drugs of some sort to get past the days. As I know, all of the providers that I know at this AMP hate working there, but the $$$ was just too good and fast.