===and now that you mention Las Vegas, well, that's part of the reason why. And no offense to the ladies in LV, but rather, LV is a rather 'transient' and 'downtrodden' place. ====
You're right, bigger cities like New York or LA are much safer.
sedonasandiego, may I ask how old you are?
Hello folks
I am looking for some way to understand women better ... okay, I know I am asking A LOT, but bear with me.
The phenomena is one I have encountered numerous times. Basically there is a misunderstanding between the man and woman based on the woman's misinterpretation of the man's statements. Usually it doesn't matter if the man tries to explain himself -- if the women is mistrustful or skeptical about the man's intentions then he is convicted "in absentia", with no appeal process.
My Q is: do you just say minimize what you say to women, and hope that lowers the chance you will say something wrong? Or do you just say whatever you would have regardless of her possible misinterpretation, since a women who harbors doubt about a male's intentions is a ticking time bomb ready to go off and "blowup" any relationship anyway? Or is it a mixture of these two that works best?
And yes, a provider has recently decided unilaterally to cease business relations with me due to a severly misguided interpretation of things. This provider and I had seen each other for 7 months, without any problems arising. She seemed to like my company and she considered me her special friend (her words), even though we only saw each other for business reasons -- no off-the-clock time nor any telephone discussions except to set times for visits.
I did not even get to complete my rebuttal to her decision -- she seemed to have her answer pre-formed and was just using my partial answer as the fulcrum on which to leverage her conclusion. Very frustrating. I do not think I have any chance of setting things straight -- I will chalk it up to an unfortunate set of events that was likely going to happen anyway, given the mindset of the average provider towards their clients. Her opinion was that I was trying "to date" her outside of business, which I never considered feasible or desirable (we are much too different and I am not a thrillseeker, which she obviously is based on what she told me about herself).
I do not mind being judged by women, but I would like to navigate future relationships better. Any pearls of wisdom from the folks here? Or should I simply just blunder forward? I sure would like to gain some insight from this mess.
Seeking enlightenment from the ashes,
fuzzy_maroon
I have just been through a very similar experience. I had known this provider for only three months and I wrote her first review which was outstanding. I showered her with compliments and words of admiration, and she reciprocated by calling me a friend, a doll, and a sweetie among other things. I developed sort of an emotional attachment to her and she sensed that. At first, she said she liked it and she didn't mind. We live in different states. As she kept building up her reviews and her clientele, she became more confident and less appreciative of my continuing enchantment with her. The beginning of the end came when I contacted one of her reviewers to ask him about a specific act he described in the review and he told her of my inquiry (see an earlier question I submitted below). She sent me an angry email and threatened not to see me again if I didn't cool it. I apologized. She saw me one more time when both of us were on travel in another city, after which she said she didn't want to see me again. Nothing I said or will say to her is going to change her mind.
Yes, providers (and women in general) are unpredictable. It's best not too get too 'friendly' with a provider, although it's often hard not to, considering the intense physical intimacy involved.
Yes -- your experience echoes mine. Saw my provider early this year when she was less than a month into the business. She said similar things via emails, but gradually became less diligent about returning emails / phone calls. Eventually it felt more like my typical "civilian" relationships, where the woman tends to get bored after a few months. (Other clients reported the smae behavior to me, so it wasn't specific to my situation.)
I also wrote two early reviews on her which were very positive, and which she thanked me for later(I never tell ladies if I plan to review them). She no-showed me a few months ago, which led me to ask other clients about her, as she had told me about some of her "life drama" earlier. More than one client told her about my investigation, and she complained about it. Told her it was my way of following up on her no-show / no-call and that I wouldn't do it again. Especially since another no-show would eradicate her from my memory. I saw her only twice after that and then took a break for 2 months, saying in touch with an email every 10 days or so. She decided I was too attached apparentally when I emailed her reguarly w/o seeing her professionally -- or maybe she was just insulted / bored.
As you said, these women are very unpredictable. I am starting to think the old "don't ask, don't tell" is the best way to go for both parties, even if it means interrupting the provider if/when they are spilling their guts about their life. I am just not hardened enough to prevent caring when they do that. I also tend to think that when they do "open up" it is largely a marketing ploy to play into your sympathy and make you feel "special" to them and enhance repeat business -- perfectly understandable. Perhaps that is also why they tend to hate it when you learn info about them directly from other clients -- you soon realize just how typical you really are...
situation had occurred which gave her the creeps. Like the other poster mentioned that he contacted one of her clients in regards to her activities with him on a review. Now something like that is pretty creepy. That would look like the actions of a possible stalker.
I believe that all women should be careful in situations with men due to men also misinterpret things. Providers are more susceptible to this due to the intimacy of the relationship and men all of a sudden forget that they are paying for that intimacy. Of course I'm not saying that all men are this way but women due need to keep an open eye in regards to situations mentioned. Hey women get wierd also but men can add that violence part in their which is downright unacceptible.
I would guess in situations like these that no contact with the provider would be best. Maybe an email down the road to the lady to find out how things are with her. That is if a friendship had been formed and one is willing to reestablish it. If not to bad so sad then, maybe the friendship wouldn't have been all that great anyhow.
Everyone have a great weekend and Happy Halloween.
jammers
And if you think I'm going to give out my real username you must be crazy. And, brother, I wish it was different.
And puleese don't start with the "it's a more honest relationship; it's actually cheaper than dating; most women are like that anyway; relationships are an exchange of goods" crap.
With all due respect to those who don't fit the profile:
When you try to have a "normal" relationship with a "provider" you are asking for relationship pain, anger, abandonment and heartbreak times a hundred; for that is the background times a hundred that most "providers" come from. And if you are unfortunate enough to feel the full and terrible fury of this feeling of anger, betrayal, and hurt you will take a different view the next time your wife is angry with you. Consider yourself lucky you were "just" a client with a fantasy and not a SO.
God, I wish it were different, but it never is.And even if they love you for the few months that they can tolerate the closeness of intimacy; you will soon hear, "I would charge another guy $10,000 for this; what's your problem?"
The concept of the "honeymoon" is so true as to be universally accepted; you're on a pedestal, you're a hero; when the honeymoon is over, people who have the tools and the upbringing to tolerate intimacy and who are committed to each other have to deal with day to day problems and disappointments. Most providers don't have these tools and their only protection from the "abyss" is to get out fast.
As Buffett says "that's just the way it is".
-- Modified on 10/31/2003 2:46:49 PM
////When you try to have a "normal" relationship with a "provider" you are asking for relationship pain, anger, abandonment and heartbreak times a hundred; for that is the background times a hundred that most "providers" come from. And if you are unfortunate enough to feel the full and terrible fury of this feeling of anger, betrayal, and hurt ....////
I AGREE 1000 PERCENT! ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP(or even normal frienship) WITH SOMEONE WHO HASNT LIVED A NORMAL LIFE!
Who hasn't had a normal life?!
Most of the ladies I know have. I've been married, raised two kids, married one of them off. Worked in Corporate America for way too many years and pretty much said to heck with this!
I've always been sensual, and very sexual, and have always wanted the fantasy of being a Courtesan and decided not to just dream about it, but DO it!
The ladies I am familiar with (some) have PhD's, one is an RN, another is published and many have had lucrative careers over the years.
My one friend just finished putting her daughter through college, and is helping another.
So, I don't know what YOU'RE talking about..
===The ladies I am familiar with (some) have PhD's, one is an RN, another is published and many have had lucrative careers over the years.===
I WONDER WHY I NEVER MEET ANY DOCTORS, DENTISTS, PUBLISHERS, PHD'S, .... ACTUALLY I'D SAY OVER 95% OF THE PROVIDERS HAVENT HAD A NORMAL LIFE. THATS SAD!
WHAT IS SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS BUSINESS??? WHAT IS SO NORMAL ABOUT 23 YEAR OLD GIRL HAVING SEX WITH 50+ YEAR OLD MEN? I KNOW NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CANNOT HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN WHO ARE 20+ YEARS OLDER THAN ME OR OLDER THAN MY MOTHER! NO, THATS NOT NORMAL!
YOU CAN GLAMORIZE IT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHATS NORMAL ABOUT HAVING GUYS GET YOU INTO ESCORTING, CONTROL YOUR LIFE, TAKE YOUR MONEY, BEEAT THEM UP, GET GIRLS TO ESCORT FOREVER, ALOT OF GIRLS LIVE LIKE THAT! IS THAT NORMAL????????? THE SAD PART IS THEY LOVE THESE GUYS!
THE SAD PART IS WHEN THEY GIVE THESE GUYS ALL THEIR MONEY AND THEN ADMIRE THEM BECAUSE THE GUY WHO PROBABLY DOESNT EVEN HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL DEGREE BUYS HER A USED CAR OR RENTS HER A STUDIO!
WHAT IS SO NORMAL ABOUT HUSBANDS AND BOYFRIENDS ARRANGING APPOINTMENTS FOR THEIR GIRLS??? AND WAIT IN THE NEXT ROOM!
WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN??? WHATEVER IT IS ITS NOT NORMAL!
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THE POSTER WHO SAID:
"When you try to have a "normal" relationship with a "provider" you are asking for relationship pain, anger, abandonment and heartbreak times a hundred; for that is the background times a hundred that most "providers" come from."
IF YOU THINK THATS SO NORMAL, WOULD YOU WANT YOUR OWN DAUGHTER TO GET INTO THIS BUSINESS WHEN SHE IS 19 AND SEE 50+ YEAR OLD MEN?
-- Modified on 11/3/2003 12:41:36 AM
Well, I don't know what city or state you live in, but any providers I know of don't have, nor did they ever have an abnormal life. Most of them still have fulltime jobs and do escorting part time.
Nobody has boyfriends that beat them up; no guy got any of us into it, and nobody takes our money.
I own my own home, drive a nice car and own two businesses and escorting is my pleasure time.
Either you live in a seedy area, or you watch too much TV..
yeah, everything is so normal and life is wonderful. I love what I do because i enjoy sex and love the guys! I drive a $100K car and just biought a great house! My life is so normal! I love what I do. My provider friends are doctors, dentists, lawyers, career minded women with PHDs and masters! I love what I do!
btw- I live in Las Vegas!
Where do you live? Disneyland?
-- Modified on 11/3/2003 7:53:18 PM
and now that you mention Las Vegas, well, that's part of the reason why. And no offense to the ladies in LV, but rather, LV is a rather 'transient' and 'downtrodden' place. It has the atmosphere that screams "you're desperate, and this is your last hope..".
I don't have any provider friends who are Dentists or Lawyers (altho one in Law School; but my new dentist is in the Hobby!LOL). They are all, however, mature ladies (over 33) who have had pretty every day normal lives like anybody else. Certainly not worse, or not more 'abnormal' than anyone outside the business!
In fact, all my years in the Corporate World - now there's some abnormal stuff! How does that compare? Now THERE'S where I've met the ladies who've had substance problems, boyfriends who beat them, took their money, etc! LOL!
And all the assets I have, I've had in place years before becoming an escort. After all, I've spent many years in the financial industry - that IS what I do.
And, as my handle implies..I'm from San Diego.
===and now that you mention Las Vegas, well, that's part of the reason why. And no offense to the ladies in LV, but rather, LV is a rather 'transient' and 'downtrodden' place. ====
You're right, bigger cities like New York or LA are much safer.
sedonasandiego, may I ask how old you are?
I cant say that I am IN this hobby. If I am it certainly isnt full time! I see a provider maybe every six weeks!
As for the things I said in this topic, I have seen how young girls are taken advantage of by their boyfriends/husbands (I call them pimps! here is one story! About 13 years ago I was at Gliter G downtown! This 22 year old girl from Minnesota had moved to Las Vegas because of her mom and was working there as a waitress. She is one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met, she had alot of Kim Basinger in her but prettier. I talked to her and we met across the street for half an hour at her break time and had some drinks! To make a long story short, later I found out that the reason she was working as a waitress was because she was pregnant and her black boyfriend needed money so she had to find a job. He had got her into escorting and of course was taking all her money. The sad part was he had done such a great job of brainwashing her that she really loved this guy. I used to talk to her sometimes on the phone. She had an abortion later. Her boyfriend used to follow her and even one time he attacked her and cut her hair. There is alot more,. much more but Im not gone write a book. Im sure Ms sedonasandiego who is probably over 35 thinks this is normal and these things happen only in Las Vegas and life in so normal and wonderful everywhere else!!
-- Modified on 11/3/2003 11:30:53 PM
To me, the fact that you mentioned that your Kim Basinger dreamgirl, who, IMO, you formed a "rescue" complex over, had a "black" boyfriend instead of just a "boyfriend" is indicative that you have some chips on your shoulder, and I think you are unloading them on Sedona.
What the fuck does it matter how old Sedona is, if she is telling the truth? I have known girls who are in their 20's who are escorting without some guy pimping them and are putting themselves through medical school. I know a woman who is very respectable and who knows her daughter is an escort, and she admires her dughter being such a combination of business smart and sexually generous, because she trusts her daughter's judgement and knows that she practices safe sex.
I have known women who live fucked up lives and don't go anywhere near escorting or anything to do with adult entertainment. Conversely, as I mentioned in my other post, most of the women I have known in this profession have been from a pretty normal bacground, and NONE have had the scenario you painted. I know there are some out there that are like that, but most of them are not the established providers that you see on TER. If they are in the scenario they are in, it isn't because escorting is this inherently "evil" profession... is because there are women out there who are confused or weak or gullible or afraid, and they are taken advantage of by bad men. However, blaming escorting is like putting the carraige before the horse.
I don't think Sedona or any other woman would "encourage" their daughters to become escorts. However, I think many of them would not discourage it if the girl really was strong about it and really understood the issues. I say this from my own experience talking with women in this profession, some who have daughters.
Since you are so concerned about providers being taken advantage of at home, I hope that you make it a part of your screening process to make sure when you see someone every six weeks, you aren't giving money to their "black boyfriends" and that you are contributing to their getting out of this hobby, where they have to meet bad 50 year old men who just want to use and abuse them. Of course, we know you aren't one of those guys, though...you are here to save them.
BTW, it would make sense that Sedona is over 35, having worked in the civilian world as long as she said she did...no duh.
BTW, I would normally post something like this without my alias, but anyone who attacks someone as well respected as Sedona doesn't deserve it.
I buy stamps for my collection about every 3 or 4 months. I guess Im NOT a stamp collector.
I usually do not respond to posts that are absurd, as it tends to make the thread grow vs just disappear, however, in this case I cant resist.
YOU, AITON my good man, ARE a hobbyist whether you admit it or not. While I can appreciate the concern you have for your "friend" you cross many lines by generalizing and lumping ALL escorts into your stereotype.
If you truly care then I suggest you take a good look at your views on escorts. Your generalizations, that escorts are abnormal, only helps to perpepuate the stereotypes that objectify and dehumanize the women in this profession. Of course there are some who are controlled(pimped) and dont have the capacity to make their own choices. I(we) would be naive to think otherwise. But, not ALL escorts fit this picture and I think you know that. Unlike your generalization that these women have some abnormality(be it societal or the way they were raised), many are bright, articulate, are comfortable with their sexuality and in so doing have chosen line of work. The key word is "chosen".
And now for sedona. What the hell did sedona do to you? Does she threaten your Quixotic sense of chivalry? She does not fit the mold of abnormal providers who need rescueing and thus interfere with your crusade? I read through her posting and cannot figure out why you would chose to target her. Do us all a favor and stop with the flames. She doesnt deserve it and it quite frankly makes you look like an idiot. (side note and thought--is that what aliases are for? Use an alias to make idiotic claims and flames? just curious)
AITON, I am sure you do care about others. That the plight of this woman has remained in your thoughts after all these years is telling. All I am suggesting is that you be careful in making generalizations and stop chasing windmills.
I, by the way, am not a stamp collector. I embrace only ONE hobby; I collect wonderful memories.
Thaings like this happen everyday. Pimps are everywhere! and there are alot Kim Basingers in Las Vegas. Only in San Diego, things are perfect and life is normal! Is it really SD or is it a farm/village?
In my posts I am really talking about young girls not 35+ year old women.
As for Ms sedonasandiego I hope you didnt go that far, I hope you didnt feel like you have to create two more usernames to prove your point that escorting is a normal thing!
-- Modified on 11/4/2003 1:49:49 PM
I live in a world where you don't need all large case letters to get your point across. We live in a world where so much is ABnormal it's pompas to profess what is normal. I don't know who put you in the passing judgement profession but it does not look well on you. If you wish to play with adults in a forum such as this I suggest you first open your mind and learn to not be so judgemental and full of condemnation.
YKSY.
The MAJORITY of providers I have seen or talked with have come from "normal" lives. I am not saying "Leave It To Beaver" normal (like that EVER was real or normal), but not from this majorly traumatic childhood that was way past what most women grow up with. Maybe you have been unluy with the women you have seen, but that is my experience.
"I am looking for some way to understand women better" -- fuzzy
Yes -- perhaps I should just change my handle to "naive_fuzzy"?
BTW, just because something is considered unsolvable doesn't mean you can't learn from an effort to try -- and you never know when the shroud of mystery might lift...
the shroud of mystery you are referring to will NOT lift in time .... why you ask? ... because you still haven't grasped the enormity of the unfathomable and bottomless abyss (of unbridled raw emotion) that constitutes a woman's mind
*
many a man has tried to breach the (logical) gap ...
[Paul ("Fuzzy") Atreides] "They tried and failed?"
[The Bene Gesseret Witch] "They tried and died!"
perhaps something along the lines of ``I'm trying to find a woman I can get along with''. To say you want to understand woman, as a species, is far too lofty. Moreover, some may take offense, ``who the hell does this guy think he is'', like he can even put a dent in this unanswerable question.
As Bill says ``There are more things in heaven and earth than your imagination could ever dream of''. Well, women are heaven and earth.
Answer: Yes - NO - & Maybe.
you are not going to find any more definitive answers about
a womans intentions or thought processes. From the Bible's "Genesis" to modern day best seller books on the subject the cards are stacked against us.
Perhaps (and I am by no means saying definitely, but just providing an alternate view), her "opinion" was an external projection of internal feelings. Maybe (and that's a big maybe) she was scared because she WANTED to date you outside of business. Maybe (and that's another big maybe) she felt she was getting too close to you. And (if that were the case), she feared those feelings, and blamed it on you so she would not have to deal with them. Maybe.
Thanks for that view, missmandy -- but it's highly unlikely. The whole "dating" episode started with her asking in an email about how we were going to continue to see each other -- as friends or provider/client. I think she just wanted to pass the idea past me to see how I would react.
My first impulse was to simply reply "provider/client, period, end of discussion", as I was a bit put off -- I have difficulty in normal civilian relationships, so a provider GF would be exponentially more difficult and unrealistic. And she knows that I could never support her financially. But how do you politely decline a friend in an email? I instead asked to talk to her face-to-face, but she ignored my requests. Have to think it was just a lark or a weak moment on her part. Not really a serious inquiry.
providers become more jaded, less appreciative of clients, and plain bored the longer they're in the business. but what can you do but move on? it's not necc. just your fault.
One thing is for sure. There is a lot of pressure on these women. In this business they have to worry about alot of things and they really dont have a normal life. Some of them are samrt and work for a short time to make enough money to pursue their goals and some of them stay for a very long time and never have enough money because of their lifestyle, boyfriend, etc... Its very hard to have any kind of relationship with them outside of business. I told my all time ATF last time I saw her that I cannot see her like that again. The problem was I we had talked too much and it just didnt feel right anymore because I knew her better now. I felt sad, guilty and had too mnay negative feelings. I told her after I went to see her and we spend about 45 minutes talking then she got a phone call, after she was done she cant see me tonight and gave me back the money I had left for her on the dinning table! I remember when I was driving home I was very happy that she got that phone call and nothing happened. I felt better! I told her after she gave me the money that I cant see her like that anymore, we had spent so much time talking that I considered her a friend!
When you spend too much time talking to them and hear about their life and stoires and problems its really hard not to care and develop genuine feelings! and when that happens its better to walk away!
I call her every 5-6 weeks to see how she is doing!
Communication = The response you get
Clearly, men and women communicate differently and problems arise because of that. A healthy relationship (of any sort) is based on good communication. Unfortunately, communication takes TIME and WORK. What happens when a business relationship starts to take too much time and work?
I guess that depends on the kind of business person you are and the quality/quantity of your other options.
Fuzzy M asked, "Do you minimize what you say to women, and hope that lowers the chance you will say something wrong? Or do you just say whatever you would have regardless of her possible misinterpretation, since a women who harbors doubt about a male's intentions is a ticking time bomb ready to go off and "blowup" any relationship anyway? Or is it a mixture of these two that works best?"
Is that really a question? It seems to me that with this statement "since a woman who harbors doubt about a male's intentions is a ticking time bomb ready to go off and 'blowup' any relationship anyway" you've already made up your mind ...
OF COURSE minimizing what you say is not the answer. Taking some time to figure out just what it is you mean to say (I pause and chuckle here because I'm not sure yet where I'm going with this.)and spending some time to craft those thoughts in a way that is the least threatening to the person you want to deliver them to is.
I really meant to respond to the part of your post that deals with discussing the provider with her other clients. I think that really depends on what you are talking about. I am very sensitive to this kind of thing and have never liked knowing that I'm being talked about behind my back. But I've realized that that is a part of this business and something I really have no control over.
Pause and think............
People talk. I consider it my own fault if somethig gets out that I wouldn't have wanted out there. I shouldn't have done/said it. I don't think anyone likes to be talked about in a negative way or have confidences shared. But it happens. It's the stuff of locker rooms and dressing rooms. If it gets into private stuff about my family members or friends or information that potentially jeopordizes my safety, I get mad and do consider it grounds to stop communicating with or seeing a person.
Lastly, please guys and girls do take into consideration WHO and WHAT type of information you share with others and count to 10 before you e-mail or post. With a seemingly simple comment you can destroy a reputation or jeopordize someone's livelihood. I've seen that happen one too many times.
LJ
hates spell check
Communication is the key in any relationship - and that will always be true.
This sort of topic has come up before in some way, and it's hard to relate because I just don't run into a lot of the things I see posted on here so it leaves me scratching my head and wondering..why..?? Things are just not that hard..
I am open and honest and encourage good communication with my clients. I don't hide anything, don't lie, and don't bull shit and expect the same in return. I don't manipulate or mislead. It's very clear what our relationship is, and what the boundaries are. When someone goes outside the boundaries, I'm sure to let them know.
It not only makes sense, but it Keeps It Simple, Sweetie..
Lily J, thanks for pointing out my poor phrasing on "a woman who harbors doubt about a male's intentions is a ticking time bomb..."
What I should have said is: why censure yourself because if she is willing to work with you on mutual issues she will, and if she isn't then no amount of self-editing will prevent the looming breakup.
Sorry about the pessmistic "ticking time bomb" comment -- that was a poor metaphor to attach to another human being...
Regarding the talking about the provider -- it was a comment made in passing by a mutual friend who was trying to "help us out". It turned out to do just the opposite. So your "pause and think...." suggestion would have applied there and probably saved both of us some pain. It is good advice.
I don't understand your question. LOL
Everyone has a public and a private reason for their actions. You heard the public reason from the provider. MissMandy gave an excellent example of what the private reason might be when she said the provider was starting to develop feelings for you and projected those feelings onto the relationship. Sometimes people honestly don’t even understand their own motivation. Sometimes the reasons behind our actions are complex--again MissMandy’s post shows a complex reason. Sometimes, our motivation is simple. An example of a simple motivation can be found in all the hobbyists and providers that like to move on when things become routine and boring. In life we seldom understand the motivation of others, and gender based differences only exacerbates the problem.
I think burt has the closest window to the truth...it is complex and probably unknowable in the general sense. Thanks for all the responses, BTW.
“Boy’s” this is not about providers this is about w-o-m-e-n –or- better yet, the woman that you want to F---. This is not about money.
This is about you and the way you treat the lady.
Once you are through a woman’s criteria and she cares for a guy she will let him get away with lots of stuff. Now depending on the woman “she” will try to let you know in her special way when you are being displeasing to her.
However, if she does not accomplish this undertaking then my friend your just screwed. For one day you will do some little thing and that will be the last straw. That it – when a girl reaches that point it’s all over.
(When things start going wrong and you don’t realize it at the time then you are never going to get it, whether you are a man or a woman.)
Women want to have a good time just like you. When that stops happening then why be involved???
From reading your post you all say you enjoyed being with the lady in question. If that is right then you should be happy for the time you had together.
-- Modified on 11/1/2003 3:26:34 AM
There have been a lot of good posts on this thread showing bits and pieces of the truth as each person understands it. I doubt that any of them are completely right or wrong. I just have a few thoughts to muddy the waters further.
Apparently the lady was telling you about her personal life and at least on the surface treating you like a friend instead of a client (at least in your mind or her mind).
A common situation in civilian relationships is for the woman to tell the man all her little personal problems and the man spends all of his time and energy trying to fix these problems and make them right as he is heading to the altar. This may be done intentionally or just as part of the dynamics of the relationship.
When the same thing occurs in a client - provider relationship it may mean a number of things.
She may have developed feelings for you that extend beyond a client-provider relationship.
She may not know what else to talk about when you get together.
She may be telling you her problems with the hope of playing upon your sympathy. This may especially be true if her stated problems (whether truthful or not) are of a financial nature. She may be hoping that you will give or loan her money to solve her immediate problems. If so good luck in getting any of it back.
I am sure there are a lot of other reasons not included above. In any event it is easy to see how you may get confused about the nature of the relationship when you get the same signals as in a civilian relationship.
Unfortunately many ladies either intentionally or through ignorance don't keep their client - provider relationships as clearly defined as Sedona. As one poster noted he had to break off his relationship with his ATF because he knew too much about her personal problems and background. Also having to listen to an hour of a lady's personal problems is hardly a great preliminary warm up to jumping into bed for a hot time. I think most of the higher class providers avoid dumping their personal problems on clients or potential clients.
Thanks to the many folks that took the time and thoughtfully responded. (That might rule you out singleton old bean 
)I did learn something from nearly every reply, mostly about myself and how to be more realistic with expectations. I will continue to be myself -- i.e. open-hearted and blunt, and just "take the bitter with the sweet", as Muddy Waters sang...