I would stand by what I said in that previous post you mentioned. I know a couple in much the same situation you report. He is not willing to look at his withhoding behavior, and she is in desperate need for physical affection. He has not explicitely given her permission to seek elsewhere. However, he puts her in a double-bind situations by placing her in circumstances where she could easily get her needs met with someone else, and yet grills her, regarding her activities, when she reports to him her desire to visit the health club or go shopping.

I will volunteer to help her meet her needs, without a service fee.