Long time listener, first time caller...

A provider I've known for years recently got pregnant.  She always uses protection, was on the pill, and does not have a relationship outside of the hobby and yet, somehow got pregnant... and no, the baby will not look like me (hopefully.)

I would like to hear comments from the board regarding this topic; most especially from the providers.  She decided to keep the baby and will not seek out the father.  What is your perspective on this?  She is fiscally responsible, is going to quit the business, and does not support any habbits, so I believe that the child will have a good life.  How should she approach the subject when the child starts to ask questions?  Is this something that anyone has dealt with?

I guess since the child is of "divine conception", he should be able to answer those questions for her...


(Otherwise, if she figures out how sperm got on her egg, then I guess she should seek out a good day-care and only take appointments during those hours... Assuming she gets her "provider figure" back... If she ends up covered in stretch-marks, saggy titties, and 50# over-weight, then I suggest she seek out a secretary-job, or enroll in cosmetology-school and cut hair for a living...)




-- Modified on 4/19/2007 5:59:10 PM

That sounds like a case of miraculous conception if I ever heard of it. Seriously, regardless of what her normal operating procedure was she evidently wasn't as strict with everyone.

People are free to do what they like (well not really but it sounds and looks good on paper when you're talking about a free country). My personal opinion is, what a mistake, and that doesn't really have anything to do with her being a provider. Two people made selfish decision's and the innocent one (baby) is going to have to pay for it, or at least deal with it. Is she independently wealthy? She might be fiscally responsible but if she quits the business what's she going to do for income? If she goes back to being a wall street investor, doctor, lawyer, or Indian chief  who's going to watch, take care of, and raise the kid? If she isn't going to be able to raise the kid herself due to work, why have the kid (of course this can be said of a lot of couple's as well with their latchkey kid's who are raised by a nanny or child care center)? I seriously think too many people equate having a baby to being one step above getting a dog or cat. Sorry if my response sound's a little snotty but I'm from a single parent family and I don't remember it being so wonderful and joyous. However, this is life and the kid will have plenty of company, single parent children are on the rise.

-- Modified on 4/19/2007 6:11:47 PM

no method of BC is 100% effective.  I can't say whu all would have failed, maybe the 1 in a million, or maybe she was very not very carefull.  But its always a risk when having sexual intercorse.

As for her keeping the baby.  Why not?  She can stay in the business, some of the best providers I have seen have been mothers with young children.  I also do not see a problem if she decides to try another line of work.  Many ladies do have other training to fall back on.

She could go after the father for child support.  CS is for the child and its not the babies fault he was born because of illicit activity.  But IMHO not very likely.  Its sure to come out that she was an escort and the baby was the result of her work.  This is not something anyone would want printed in the papers.

I have at least six favorites who have one or more kids.  It's a job; people have lives.

How they decide to cope with telling the kids and what they tell the kids differs from person to person and is, frankly, none of our business.

One thing I know for sure, they don't need any head trips from us to figure it out.

-- Modified on 4/20/2007 10:08:09 AM

you hit the nail on the head.

It's none of our friggin' business, either.   Unless, of course, during pregnancy she decides to offer special services.

they are better parents than some Dads I  know, married or not, ever wedded or not.  

yea, this is ok, a single mom who provides?  that is ok by me as long as she keeps the business away from the family.

She upcharges for preggo.

I know a provider who has marketed herself through 3 pregnancies.  And two of them "may" be from hobbyists, but she does not know which one or for sure it was a hobbyist.  Maybe they are all virgin births?  That's about as possible as always wearing a condom and the condom being 100% reliable.

there are plenty of single mothers out there with ? for fathers, so that bit of the equation is not unusual in itself. she could tell the child it was the result of a one night stand or something of that nature, but i certainly couldn't imagine telling them that they are the product of unprotected (not buying the pill and condom line) sex with a john, back in her whoring days. of course if she's decided to have the child, then i assume she's already come to a decision about how to handle all of thta.

personally if a client somehow got me pregnant, there wouldn't be any question about it at all...i'd have an abortion quicker than you could whistle dixie, and likely never mention it again.

at least outside of the hobby it's very common.  You simply say that the father was a wonderful man with whom you've had a fleeting relationship.  There was no plan to get pregnant, but mommy was so very grateful to have a wonderful baby that she kept and cherished the child.

18  or 19 years  from now, the child will want to know who the father is.  Its natural.  It will be an ache that wont go away.  By then, there might be some kind of dna Google search.  It might be possible to google who the father is.

I agree with the story. A lot of hobbyists are wonderful men. She must have been meant to be a mother. Women are very resilient and we get pregnant and manage just fine through all sorts of circumstances regardless of our career choices.
This is America ,any one willing to work hard is going to make just fine . In Maryland you can even get health insurance through the state if you don't have it from your job. I think she is doing the right thing. Blessings to her and her child.

p.s. These are reproductive organs that we deal with. They are meant to produce children and I don't allow cfstc unless I'm holding the condom and I am sure I am not ovulating. I used to take the morning after pill every month just to be extra sure.
I drink sage tincture every month a few days before I am supposed to start just to be extra sure. I hope I can order pennyroyal tincture again.I use pennyroyal and sage tincture if I feel paranoid about it or instead of the morning after pill.


-- Modified on 4/21/2007 4:17:48 PM