Only been doing this a while but I am seeing some pitfalls and successes and feel I am learning much about communicating (email and phone) with providers prior to visits. These are my new "notes to self":
1) Providers want very short emails with few questions, verification information up front and clear schedule requests. Most of them don't want to schedule more than a week ahead of time. Don’t forget the up front rules of not discussing sex , “languages”, etc.
2) If your email is longer than 4 lines or smells at all like a "time waster"... delete!
3) If you ask more than one question - even if legitimate - she will not answer all the questions in your email. She might answer one.
4) You may have clearly stated date, time, duration, etc. in your email but she may respond such that it is apparent she did not read this or remember it by the time she formulated her brief answer.
5) Don't tell her a fun story about yourself or "play" in initial email even if her website is full of smart, verbose, playful banter. See rule #2. She may say she is selective in screening clients and wants witty interesting smart men… but she mostly wants your money and a safe time with a client who will show up. She actually hates email… it’s time spent not making money or having fun. If she banters back at you then you can engage in some witty reply – but always should be SHORTER than hers. She does not want a pen pal!
6) Do not point out any problems you are having communicating with her – e.g. “I emailed you and heard nothing back.” Or “If you had read what I originally sent you you would understand”. PRETEND PROBLESM DIDN’T HAPPEN! Just send her a new short “more professional” email asking fewer (or no) questions and requesting a visit (send closer to day desired). See rule #1. Push the reset button and act as if you have never contacted her before.
7) Remember that your goal is to “get into her pants” – just like civie life! More than half of the providers you email will not respond at all – even with great TER reviews. Don’t be discouraged – just hone your approach and keep emailing!... God, this is sounding like dating!
8) Have a back-up plan. This can get tricky but is key to not getting your hopes dashed, not getting angry – and not getting laid! If you are taking a trip out of town and have pretty specific days and times you are available then ask more than one provider if she is available for each time/day. You can start 1-2 weeks ahead of time but don’t be surprised if several don’t respond (see rule #1). As the trip gets closer you may have confirmed an appointment or two but often a provider will say “call me a day or two before and we will confirm” – so you too then are not committed. You can always send a last minute email to the other lady of your dreams and she might now respond since the day is closer. If you have a true confirmed appointment you can usually cancel within a few days but you risk alienating that provider (and thus not getting in HER pants in the future). KEEP CONFIRMED APPOINTMENTS! – you want a good rep. However realize that she may not, in fact, show up. You then avoid disappointment by having other backup plans. Find 1-2 providers with a willingness to make appointments with short notice (many very high rated ones will) who will pre-verify you and tell her you MAY call while you are in town but your schedule is not clear yet. If you get stood up… call one of them.
9) Don’t forget the telephone. There are some providers who prefer to screen and schedule on the phone. If email is not working with one of your dream dates – pick up the phone… In general don’t mention prior failed email attempts to arrange a date. Just start afresh.
10) Learn from both your successes and failures. Vary your approach. Read TER discussion board postings. Share what you are thinking. Ask for feedback… like I am doing now, lol. Any other suggestions from providers or clients?
...sitting back and waiting for them to contact me doesn't seem to be working for s**t.
In fact, I got a bit depressed reading it, thinking of the expense and effort I have gone through in past years trying to force organization where organization refuses to reside...
One trait common to real GFE: If I get stood up, I don't call back. This isn't about Darwinism, where the need to procreate overrides humility, this is 100% Capitalism, where best service/value wins out.
Many fish in the sea is an understatement in this business. Being difficult or unreliable gets a wide black line through that name real fast in my book, even though she may have a valid reason. The reasons, when given, are usually a stretch to accept, and often make me feel the fool while saying "Sure. No problem. I understand". My habit is to politely but vaguely offer to "get back later and try again", but move on.
Let's face it; a lot of gals got into business because they like to party, and can make money at it. Sometimes, though, the party still wins out over business. (Yes, ladies, I realize the same thing also applies to many hobbiests out there, I just don't accept being done unto me just because someone else has done unto her)
Very good advice - you should post it in the Newbie board as well.
A bit painful to read because it is true to past experience. Yes, it should go in the newbie library.
Of course, there are independents who are exceptions, but that is best left to subsequent discovery after getting acquainted.
However, even the most empathetic, brilliant and civilized provider has no time for a mailbox filled with multiple paragraph, personal essays and questions. Why should she? And if she were to answer one email in kind and at length, a few hours later she would be buried in an intimate reply twice the length of the original.
Good agencies are a buffer from many of the issues treated by mightaswellfaceit.
codpeace
become a joke filling out questionnaires that rival the IRS for idiocy. Vote with your wallet!!! Avoid ladies that are too lazy to pick up a phone, and speak with a guy!
Um some of us have other lives that we just can't drop at the top of a hat to deal with the worst time wasters (The men who call) who still won’t give us their info and ask too many stupid questions that our sites answer.
E-mail is the best option for many, we can answer when we have the time at our connivance that suits our life as we see fit. I am just now advertising for the first time and with my # on the ads and I can tell you 99% of the calls I get per day are time wasters.
Now why would I want to spend my whole day talking to clueless men when I can be working on my other project and Boinking a perfect gentleman who respected my time so much that he filled out my form and gave me a perfect time to get back into touch at my own convenience. I answer my e-mails more then I do my phone. So who are the lazy ones who do not want to take the time to read a web site?
that garbage in what should be a fun hobby. I don't want a "Questionnare/Form Provider". If all your clients/potential clients are "time wasters, and clueless", perhaps you attract the WRONG type of clientele !!
Most of us are sick of standardized tests/forms/questionnaires in our day to day lives WITHOUT having that SHIT spill over to the hobby! It is VERY IMPERSONAL at best!
-- Modified on 5/29/2006 8:08:57 PM
I have another fucking life then to deal with calls from men like you, My mail box is enough to know there are better clients who actually respect the time I give. I do not live to answer calls or VM to call you back. Getting 20 calls a day and 20 e-mails, I can answer all the e-mails at one time when I have the time; it takes much longer to make the calls.
It is great that you don’t waist the time when you call a lady, but you are a rarity, so I am sorry the time wasters have ruined the fun for you, but blame your fellow man not the smart and enterprising provider.
It is not about being impersonal it is about "RESPECTING that Providers have more to do then to wait for you"
Answer the form it really isn't that hard. Requires less time then waiting around for a phone call that might cum when the SO walks in.
you are the one with little respect, or regard for those that pay your bills. Re-read what you've written about the guys that put food on your plate in this thread, and then try to tell me I'm wrong.
-- Modified on 5/29/2006 8:22:45 PM
I love my clients, I know the greatest men in this business and they are very well pampered by me. I know plenty of men who pay my bills, who understand what my time is worth as I respect their time and privacy. E-mails saves time not waist it. Why would I want to see someone who has no respect for me and the info I need. The way I talk speaks volumes of how I run my life with respect for myself, I give more then I receive. I am not lacking in the client department. Anyone who knows me knows I am kind and respectful, I am never late; I return respectful e-mails in a timely manner. I am running a business as I see fit and what works for me, E-mails waist less time for me and my client so we can get to the more personal business with less tension.
What I don't like is your call for a boycott because there is something you don't like and you want all men to do what you want so you can have things they way you want it. So you don't like forms or e-mail, So what? There are plenty of MEN who don't mind it or prefer it. I respect your right to not feel out the form, just respect the rights of those women who want to live an easier stress free life and have the forms.
The less I have to talk to time wasters the less stress I have and more time to umm please the men I love so dearly.
OK, so you don't like forms...
and you don't like email...
and you don't like full voice mail, or unreturned voice mails...
I guess I can also assume you wouldn't like a lady answering her phone if she were "in session" with you...
Hmmmm....I guess maybe the ladies need to get a specialised "Jose Phone" or figure out some telepathic link up thing for you.
I wonder though what your take would be if it was your phone ringing with calls that just want phone sex for free, or have long rambling messages that never get to the point, or have the same person call repeatedly in a day filling a voicemail box with long winded calls?
If your email was filled with one sentance emails that gave no information or how about long rambling emails that want free cyber, or just are long for apparently the sake of being long and still don't contain the requaested information?
Now I am sure you are the nicest, most respectful, most perfect would be client any lady could ever wish to contact her. You always have intent and purpose and are willing to assist in making screening and scheduling a breeze and they should all really want a special email address and phone for you, as you never do any of things others do...but alas, not all prospective clients are the wonderful, helpful and understanding guy that you are.
Some will call and not get to the point...some will try and get phone sex, some will call all hours and fill the VM with drunken messages about how horny he is, some will write reams of emails requesting more pictures from the lady, some will write the e-equivalent of a russian novel and expect it to be replied to in kind, and some will not give the requested information no matter how many times they contact the lady by phone or email.
So...the birth of the form. The era of required text fields stating exacly what a lady needs to know to be able to book an appointment, and not take a month of rambling emails that are evasive or assinine , perhaps in the hopes she will just give up and see that guy without actually screening him.
Sorry you don't like the forms, but guess what...if the ladies weren't inundated with calls and emails that do waste time, not give information, haggle, want sex talk and pictures for his spank bank, etc. then the ladies wouldn't have to have forms to actually make an attempt to get the information in an effort to make the process easier.
Ladies are not specifically trying to give their prospective clients hell, they are not trying to cost themselves business by being unresponsive, they are not trying to undermine all the money and time spent on advertising to not reply...they are trying to be able to do their jobs better and more efficiently.
It is too bad that because this is your hobby and fantasy, you don't want to understand it is their business and they might just in the scheduling and contact treat it accordingly...and it is also too bad that you want to call for a boycott and try and talk other prospective clients into doing things as you prefer, because we all know if it isn't good for Jose it must change immediately no matter what.
I guess you are right though forms are impersonal, and we all know that while writing things like I saw you ad, and I would like to schedule an appointment is so personal...and hey maybe the ladies can be more personal in initial contact with you and all others. So ...what if that means answering a phone as your about to pop durring a bbbj...better that than her voicemail get full, or you have to click on a drop down box, or wait for an email to be answered...right? It's all about the immediate personal response to the lady right?
thinking for some time. In my business, I am seldom easily contacted... so people voice mail me, text mail me, or e-mail me! and then wonder WHY I did not drop the earth - to give a call back.... Dudes... and dudettes... the reason is simple - YOU DIDN'T LEAVE A COHERENT FRIGGIN MESSAGE! You failed to state 1) your name or 2) your phone # or 3) Why you want to contact me.
Trust me, I have to be out there every day dealing with Lex, the "real Superman", palling around with Batboy and Rubin, to say nothing of the Joker, the Penguine and (my fave) Catwoman!! so I really do not have the time to decode messages left in Klingon or some dead dialect of the atlantan civilization...
Most will call and say, "Hi, this is John Smwiwiojrtnerwrwl....and I can be reached at 333-124-23994841. uh. make that 7652. in short, the name is inaudible, the number is not clearly enunciated - and it is stated only once - very quickly - too quick in fact to write it down. Now all my voice mails request that then speaker speak slowly - spell the last name and give the number to call 3 times. Once to start writing it down, a second to complete the writedown and the third to check the number.
Same with emails... Seldom is there a paragraph stating 1) what is wanted, 2) when it is wanted by and 3) who it is to be provided!
Comeon people this stuff should be taught in school.... and we know how well that is going.
Really, leave a message... ha! Supposed to be mind readers.
I have had providers tell me that they are so relieved when I call, they know right away because of my approach - that my call will not waste their time and that I am not LE. It is not so much what I say, but how I say it and the approach on the phone.
Thanks Webbie... but this phone and e-mail stuff is a hot button of mine... people just do not think - or if they do they are so self centered that they actually believe that the WORLD is sitting by the computer/phone waiting for "THEM" to call or contact them! lol!! I say let them hold their breath. Whew... that was a load!
all this time and I didn't even have a form?
BTW What's a form?
I certainly do appreciate it when a man calls and I am not busy right then, and he comes over and we just have fun. Sometimes I am busy though, so a name and a number-- unblocked call, and someone who has the time to wait a little longer than right now is ok with me. (The perfect world syndrome again)
Ya know I like to travel and booking an airline ticket sure does make for a more concrete plan.
I'm going to Houston in a week or so, and I know I'm gonna have a great time. I wish more men were open to the idea of flying me to them, wherever they may be. The east coast is my favorite, but I have never been to Florida so I am looking forward to that one some day.
I may seem niave, but I've had men trust me, and proven myself as trustworthy, and men have proven themselves to be kind too.
Love Heather
Heather, I'm in south florida,when are you coming?
when are you flying me out? I have some travel time for July available, but August and September are Korn tours again. I'm ridin' on the bus
Great post. I use forms/email/phone. One thing that can be annyoing is if someone constantly emails for an appt even after reading my email to them asking them to call me at this point. I have a gentleman who has been trying to hook up forever, he has a reference from a GF of mine, but he never calls for appt, always emails. And always at the last minute so I'm not available. I've told him many times in email to call me for last minute appt.
But he still sends an email.
Alot of the phone calls I get are time wasters as well. In fact now that summer is starting, some of the usual creeps are starting to call. The ones that ask explicit questions & such. Although they never really go away, lol. I can't believe how many guys think it is okay to do this though.
My form is not mandatory although some think it is when they contact me. It has saved me alot of time/energy having the form.
Sara
My advise to those hobbyists who abhor giving references, etc is to use an agency (usually an AAMP in Frisco) where you can call even a half-hour before you want to schedule. They never check references or even verfy who you are.
The downside is that they're much more suseptible (sp?, too much wine tonite) to LE and your experience can vary widely as far as quality. I've always found that indies who want references are, on average, provide better sessions. More hassle but usually worth it.
The choice is yours to make.
-- Modified on 5/29/2006 9:26:31 PM
have anything to do with apparel? and making sure that it "fits to a 'T'?"
-- Modified on 5/29/2006 7:35:32 PM
Karrie, Awesome web site and great reviews. Wish I lived closer to LA.
-- Modified on 5/30/2006 6:44:15 PM
. . . is best; it saves time for both parties. I hate to leave voicemail.
make you miss out on some lovely ladies. It's often easier than playing telephone tag.
-- Modified on 5/29/2006 9:31:13 PM
underestimate the value of the escorts - especially the ones I have spent time with. they are smarter than most would think, better educated than most would think and very much more interesting than most would think...
My regrets? That I do not find out more about the truly interesting ladies that I have met! and hopefully in the future I may be able to correct that stupid mistake.
-- Modified on 5/30/2006 8:16:29 PM
because I prefer to keep my "business" seperated from my family and personal life. I will be coming back into the business around late June. I have a newborn at home and older children (who eavesdrop on phone calls). Fortunately for me there are clients out there who are not so dogmatic in their views (or ignorant) and realize there are ladies who have lives outside of escorting.
I guess your take is valid from what you experience. My experience has been varied and interesting - gals who say they will keep in touch by e-mail, and don't - to gals who are very private and do. a true mixed bag.... and it all depends on Chem 101! Which is another way of saying YMMV!.... my take on your "notes"
1) For the most part this is true and for the most part most don't want to schedule more than a week ahead of time for the simple reason that they delete e-mails to protect the clients. Some apologize for the hassle, but for the most part, all recognize the necessity. Although for some events it is not only desired to schedule well in advance - it is necessary....
2) Long e-mails are a "time waster"... Well, for the most part that is true, however, I have one gal who - if we were e-mailing our phone conversations they would be books! lol it just depends on the relationship... it really does.
3) Maybe, Maybe not... I have one provider who is a dear, ask me a lot of questions... and expect a reply because she was concerned about my comfort with her... for that she is a dear...
4) See above. they delete e-mails for safety reasons... and are unlikely to keep them... if something slips her memory, if really professional, she will ask again rather than disappoint... it is not an insult - just the facts of how they conduct the biz.
5) Again, it depends... sometimes that will help you with easing the tension of a meeting, but in the first contact... name rank and serial #... I sometimes include a web site to investigate me. but that is about it.
6) Do not point out problems --- yea - who likes to hear about their weaknesses?! just think - annual review time.... what do you like to hear? If I see a problem, it will usually show up in a review...
7) Goal = “get into her pants” Well, this is true but if you really want a GFE - wouldn't it be great if there was some connection? While I do not think of this as a "dating" site... I have scheduled a few that were arranged like a date... and I can tell you they were FANTASTIC!!!! Could not have been better... so close to the real thing was one that I have a very hard time adjusting to the reality... but that is ok... Kinda feels good to know that the emotions are there... and can be pinged! and for that I am grateful.
8) Have a back-up plan. I don't see providers that often... so a back-up plan is silly... if I don't see one today, there is always tomorrow or next week... not a biggie! In fact I would rather have a provider cancel rather than show up in a foul mood...
9) Generally speaking, most providers say how they wish to be initially contacted on their web site. They do this for their own comfort and "style" of working... follow their guide... you cannot go wrong.
10) Like anything else - you hit a natural pattern which will work for you, use it. In fact, I do not now read the reviews... they do not serve me.... I go on who I nice to me... and who I find attractive - that is it.
Just happened upon this post; very good.
There is no doubt that the best experiences I've had are with gals who use e-mail the way it was meant to be used; no drama, to the point. Actually, I stay away from "phone only" providers; for some reason (maybe obvious) they just don't seem to be as much on the ball.
The act of a man hiring a woman for companionship should still hold mystery, romance, fun, intrigue and zeal, even under the circumstances. When a person knows exactly what will happen from start to finish, it takes away from the experience. Of course, no one wants a bad surprise and chemistry between the two parties plays a large part in the experience, but I would think one might like his time with a lady to be individual. Am I wrong?
I always thought this 'hobby' was about breaking from the monotony of life, giving yourself a treat, spending valuable time with someone special, intimacy, feeling good, a spark, companionship and more. However, when you come up with 'rules' it seems to take away from what you're trying to accomplish.
Some of your 'rules' make sense, some I find disdainful, some are rather disappointing and many are very broad statements.
Kate
Okay, gentlemen, it's simple: References are to keep us safe, protect us from LE (hopefully) and also make you feel at ease that we're not a "cash 'n dash." If gentlemen were to call us constantly to make appointments, it would be incredibly busy. Some of us have daytime jobs or other things in our lives, too. Plus, some guys just like to call and jerk off over the telephone. Believe me when I say there are many that "waste our time." It's not being unprofessional saying so. It's a fact, Jack.
Emailing references upfront saves the gentleman and the lady a lot of time. We all vary in our reference-checking processes, but most of us want to know that you're a safe guy. That means we need another provider reference from a reputable provider (preferrably one who has a website). LE are less likely to have a website. Plus, if we know your work number and call and ask for you through a receptionist, we know you have a daytime job other than being with LE (hopefully). Nothing is a guarantee, but it certainly relieves some tension. If any guy has a problem with this, then he can move on to a lady who doesn't care, but don't take it out on me if I wish to play it safe. Plus, a phone call can come at an inappropriate time when we cannot talk anyway. Guys: Save us the trouble and just email us. I know that I return emails every day and am very professional about keeping in touch. We have lives, too, you know. Also . . . if I know a gentleman has given me references and is genuine (not wasting my time) in scheduling an appointment, then I'll ask if I can call him and also ask when it's a good time to call. I still like to make it personal.
But really . . . think about it . . . there's no difference in giving us references over the phone versus email? References are still references and we're still going to ask for them.
Hugs,
Ciara
-- Modified on 5/29/2006 8:55:25 PM
Ciara, you are one lady who does what she says; very professional and friendly at the same time.
well everyone is different
I've had a lot of success with the email and the phone, but mostly the phone. I like to hear the voice of the person before I make an appointment. Just a thing.
I've met the best MEN on this site. BTW I am a WOMAN not a provider, which sounds stupid to me. I call it a date sice session sounds like pstchiatrist
GFE? man if you can make me wanna kiss you, yeah baby, asking for it up front kills that mood. Make it fun, sexy, seductive, not full of acronyms and rules.
Dealing with the public requres flexibilty. I get impatient from lookie-loos, being stood-up, and criticism. Who has the right to criticize?
Another turd in the punch bowl thrown into the mix of confusion and suspense, apprehension and fear? THE MEN WHO I MEET ACT NATURAL, ARE FUN, AND I HAVE NO PROBLEMS SCHEDULING AN APPOINTMENT WITH THEM.
Love Heather
True story. I ignored it.
[email protected]! actually, my email is a bit cutsie - now that I think about it! lol! But it is so much fun.... as are other things about me!
-- Modified on 5/30/2006 8:13:13 AM
I love to hear compliments over the phone and in emails. This always helps me to decide who is truely interested vs. just playing.
" God, this is sounding like dating!"-mightaswellfaceit,
Dealing with a reputable agency eliminates all these problems and headaches.
